The Last Nazi

It was right after the boys from Fall Out Boy’s last show in France, they went in their tour bus, sweaty and tired.

“Okay guys, moment of truth, where’d you my favorite hoodie?” Pete asked, staring his bandmates down with a glare.

“Why would you want it back? It doesn’t look good on you anyway.” Andy teased.

“So you hid my hoodie!” Pete said, pointing an accusing finger at Andy.

“Hey, that hoodie was the only one that looked bad… and so did that other one with the weird lines on it.” at this, Pete’s eyes widened in surprise, then he pulled his finger away from Andy.

“So you really took it! How did you find out where I hid my bag?!”

“Who wouldn’t? You just leave your stuff anywhere after all…” Andy replied, obviously used to Pete’s unawareness of his sloppiness.

“Andy! Too much OCD man!” Pete said and went on looking for his hoodie.

“Hey, let’s just forget about the trashy hoodie—“

“It wasn’t trashy!”

“Whatever, lets just forget about it and change into clean, dry shirts before we get pneumonia.” Patrick finished.

“Yeah, that hoodie was trashy.” Joe said.

“It wasn’t—agh, never mind.” Pete said. The boys took their shirts off and just was they were going to put on their other shirts the door slammed open.

“Hey guy—ho shit! I’m sorry!” said a female’s voice as she slammed the door closed as loud as she slammed it open. The four bandmates froze and stared at each other in silence right after the said incident.

“Hey Andy, new tattoo?” Joe said randomly, breaking their silence.

“Oh, this one?” Andy said while pointing at a random tattoo in his back. The two guys started talking about tattoos, Patrick, however, felt a bit out of place and just continued putting on his shirt.

“We’re done changing, you can come in now.” Joe said and the door opened again.

“You guys should learn to lock the door.” said a short girl with long and straight black hair, a cellphone in her hand.

“It’s not like we were naked or anything.” Pete said.

“Eww, that’d be worse seeing as you’re here.” she said, cringing, making the other three laugh as Pete had an offended look on his face. “Anyway, insulting Pete isn’t why I’m here.”

“What is it then?” Patrick asked. The girl smiled warmly at Patrick and announced: “You’ll be going on tour with Tokio Hotel!” and again, silence took over in the same room. Before anyone else could react, the girl sighed and looked at them disappointedly. “Aw, you guys suck! You, know, that popular German band that—“the girl paused after noticing that one of them had an uncomfortable look on his face. “… the one that started as a band at a very young age.” she continued explaining, and by then Pete was getting familiar with the band’s definition.

“Oh! You mean the band where that hot chick was in?”

“That really is all you care about huh, Pete?” Patrick said, apathetically.

“Chick? What chick?” the girl said, confused.

“You know, the one who sings?” Pete specified.

“Uh… oh! That’s not a—um, whatever.” she said, stopping herself from warning Pete about the truth, he had to learn the hard way like everyone else.

“Wait, how’d you arrange this all of the sudden?” Andy asked.

“I went to the same school their band manager went to, go figure.” she said.

“Awesome! Then we’ll know more about German bands and their music.” Patrick said with a lot of enthusiasm.

“Yeah, that would be cool.” Andy agreed, then turned to his other bandmate who hasn’t said anything for some time now. “So Joe, what do you think?”

“Does this mean we’re… going to Germany? And… sticking with those German kids throughout the whole Europe tour?” Joe said with a twitch.

“Well technically, yeah, something wrong with that?” Patrick asked, Joe turned to the female with a look of fright in his eyes.

“¬No! You can’t do this to me Mikee!” Joe begged, getting on his knees and clawing at her leg. The girl, whose name is Mikee, sighed deeply. For the next few minutes, Joe kept clinging onto Mikee’s leg and tried convincing her to cancel their tour with Tokio Hotel. But as we all know, such excuse wouldn’t be valid on canceling a really awesome tour. “But--!”

“Joe.”

“Mikee they’ll kill me!”

“…”

“What kind of tour manager doesn’t care about the bandmembers she’s touring with anyway?!”

“The kind who knows that the German people these days are done with the whole persecuting Jews thing! Those Nazi movements were from years ago! Hitler’s dead now!” Mikee said.

“So are millions of innocent Jews!” Joe said.

“I want juice.” Pete said randomly.

“Shut up Pete.” Andy said.

“Look Joe, it’s either you get over your trauma or I send in a plane to fly you back to the States, alone.” she said, although she wouldn’t really send their lead guitarist home, but they don’t know that. “Okay, so you guys ready to go back to the hotel?”

“Born ready.” Andy said while locking up Joe’s guitar in its guitar case.

“This is when OCD is really helpful.” Pete grinned and started getting his things ready, along with Patrick and Joe.

“Yes.” Mikee said, rubbing her hands in a satisfied way. “Yo Rick! Start the engine and head to the hotel!” she shouted to the bus driver as she made her way there to the passenger’s seat in order to give him directions. Hemingway then jumped out of Pete’s bunk and walked his way to where his master was.

“Hemingway! You’re awake!” Pete cooed as he picked his dog up from the floor. Hemingway kept licking on Pete’s face in a playful manner, until it eventually got nasty and disgusting because of Hemingway’s slimy saliva sticking on Pete’s face.

“Get a room!” Joe yelled, walking slowly towards the tour bus’ lavatory.

“Tch, that’s okay, Hem! You can lick all you want! Hahaha.” Pete laughed while talking to his dog. Andy and Patrick grimaced at the scene as they backed away from Pete and Hemingway.

“That’s just gross.” Andy said.

“I agree with you.” Patrick said. Mikee came back in the main part of the bus, talking with someone on her cellphone.

“Aren’t you supposed to be giving Rick directions?” Andy asked, but Mikee held up her index finger to tell him to keep quiet.

“Yeah we’re getting there, might turn up some time around morning, this bus doesn’t have an overdrive ya know.” she said to the person on her cellphone. She nodded a few times while saying ‘yes’ and ‘okay’ to the person on the other line before ending her call.

“Who was that?” Patrick asked curiously.

“It was Tokio Hotel’s band manager on the other line.” she answered. “Hopefully by tomorrow morning you guys can meet them.”

“That fast?” Joe cut in, with the same look of terror on his face.

“Not again Joe.” Mikee said, shaking her head disapprovingly.

“I’m telling you Mikee! They’re gonna kill me!” Joe said.

“And I’m telling you that the German people these days have moved on! It’s 2007 Joe! They have better things to do than just torture Jews!” she said, taking a deep breath after and looking at her watch. “Look, why don’t you guys get some sleep? It’s late and we’ll be meeting TH first thing in the morning, Joe, you better get over it.” she said warningly at the lead guitarist. A few minutes later, the tour bus driver announced that they have arrived at their destination. They all exited the bus and were accommodated by the baggage person. “Please guys, no partying tonight, just get some rest, okay?” Mikee repeated, but was eyeing specifically on Pete.

“Fine, fine.” Pete groaned and they all went inside the hotel, checked in and went to their respective rooms. The next morning all four of the boys were in the lobby, waiting for their manager who seemed to be taking a little longer than they expected. “Geez! How long does it take for someone to get ready for the morning?!” Pete said impatiently.

“Chill Pete, she’s a girl, I think it’s normal.” Patrick said.

“She should take her time.” Joe said, receiving the rolling of eyes from Pete.