Casualties

Kennedy sat in her car in front of his house and contemplated actually going inside to talk to him. There were so many factors that went into their relationship that she made a pro con list and wrote it out and a piece of paper from her glove compartment box. While she was writing she got extremely stressed and pulled out a cigarette and took several drags from it. Ultimately the cons weighed out the pros, but that was how it generally was when she wrote out pro and con lists that had to deal with Alex.
She threw open her car door and closed it quietly so that, just in case she changed her mind, he wouldn’t come down and try to figure out what the noise was on his seemingly soundless street.
She walked up to his porch and tried to figure out whether or not he or she was actually ready for this. Before she over thought it she knocked on his door and waited patiently for a response.
His door flew open and Alex was standing there, in complete shock that Kennedy was there in front of him. “Hi,” she said simply and looked up at him. “Can I come in?” she asked because he wasn’t saying anything else. He opened his door to her without a word.
She walked up to his room and he followed behind her. He shut his door behind him and she turned around and flung herself at him. Their lips locked and Alex reacted immediately. He grabbed her by her waist and pulled her to him. He lifted her up and she wrapped her legs around his hips. Their tongues were fighting for control, but it was all playful. She tore off his shirt and he laid her down on his bed and stripped off her pants.
She rolled on top of him and took off her top and she leaned down to kiss him again but Alex wrapped his arms around her and unlatched her bra then threw it across the room. She moved from his lips and down to his neck then made kissing trails down his chest, stomach, and to his hip bones before she took off his pants.
He surprised her by wrapping his legs around her and flipping her back onto her back. She could feel him through his boxers and her panties.
She reached down on took off his boxers and he looked at her in shock. Now it was only her panties that had to go. “Are you sure?” he asked.
She nodded, “Positive,” she responded and he nodded and took off her panties for her and flung them across the room.
He thrust into her and she let out a scream of passion. His face was buried in the nook of her neck and they continued to move positions throughout the night. First missionary, then doggy style, then her on top, then reverse cowgirl, then back to missionary when he finished. Overall, it lasted over two hours. He laid down right next to her and she turned on her side and lay on his chest.
“Can I ask you a question, Kennedy?” he asked her after a minute and wrapped his arm around her shoulders.
“Of course you can,” she told him, nuzzling closer to him.
“Did you mean it yesterday? When you told me that you didn’t love me?” he asked.
She looked up at him, “Of course not. I wouldn’t be here if I meant it,” she was telling the truth. She did love him, more than she should have.
“Then why did you say it?”
“Because I was hoping that if I said it then you would leave me alone and make it easier for me to get over you,” she again told him the truth.
He winced at it though. “I love you so much and I never meant to hurt you,” he told her.
“I know, I just didn’t enjoy falling in love,” she told him, but didn’t look at him.
“The whole Miranda thing-” he started but she cut him off.
She put her finger over his lips to make him stop talking. “I don’t care anymore Alex. I honestly just want to be with you for the rest of my life. I love being with you and being away from you for the past month or so has been killing me. I would give anything just to stay here with you,” she told him, but he didn’t understand how true those words were.
He turned over onto his side, “I don’t want to be with anybody but you either, Kennedy. I love you so much,” he whispered and put his forehead to hers.
She contemplated telling him. Telling him that she was moving back to New York with her mom, but she decided not to. This moment was just too perfect and she didn’t want to ruin it with horrible news like that. She also started thinking about ways that she could stay here to be with him; she could move in with him, his mom loved her enough to let her do that, or she could move in with Jack since their relationship was strictly platonic, or she could just stay in her house and live there on her own – it’s pretty much what she’d been doing anyway since her mom first met Rob.
“So, I was thinking, my mom is sending me to California during the summer to spend it with my grandparents and I was wondering if you might maybe want to come with me?” he asked her and a crooked smile spread across his face.
“I would love to come with you,” she said and placed her hand on the side of his face and she also smiled.
“What would you say if I asked you to shower with me?” Alex asked and got up.
“I would ask if it’s been cleaned since Miranda was there,” Kennedy asked and Alex started laughing.
“Have you met my mother?” he asked and continued to walk into his bathroom. Kennedy got up and followed him in there and he started the water and she wrapped her arms around the back of him and kissed specific spots all over his back. She heard him let out a pleased sigh and after a minute he turned around and wrapped his arms around her and he enjoyed just holding her naked. It may sound weird, but when you’re in love there is nothing more satisfying than holding your lover naked.
After a second he turned back around and got into the shower and she followed suit. Even though their intention had been to shower it hadn’t really worked out that way.
One moment he’s bending down to kiss her forehead and she moves her face up so he kisses her lips and they were both overrun by passion at the time and they ended up having sex in the shower standing up. Her legs had been wrapped around his hips the entire time and he pretty much just bounced her up and down but it lasted well over an hour. She bit his shoulder and left scratching marks on his back because, at her house, she was used to being able to scream but she couldn’t at his house or else his parents would hear.
They got done and got out of the shower, dried off and laid naked sprawled out on his bed. “Two times in four hours. I forgot what a workout you were,” Alex said with a laugh and reached over to get himself some water on his nightstand. She laughed with him.
She flipped onto her side and looked directly at him until her eye caught his and got his attention, “What?” he asked her.
“Can I spend the night tonight?” she asked completely dazzled once again by how attractive he was.
A crooked smile spread across his face, “Of course you can,” he told her and wrapped both his arms around her and squeezed her tight. She felt glad that tomorrow was a weekend because she would want to savor their time together.
“I just have to call my mom and let her know. She’s home tonight,” she informed Alex and wiggled her way out of his grasp and grabbed for her phone. She dialed her mom’s number.
“Hello?” her mom answered and it sounded like she’d just gotten done getting laid was well.
“Hey, it’s me,” Kennedy told her.
“Oh, hi honey. I thought you said you would follow us home,” Lorelei said.
“Yeah, I made a pit stop. I was wondering if it would be alright if I spent the night at Alex’s house tonight.” Kennedy asked and prayed that the answer would be yes.
Her mom paused, “You need one last hurrah before we leave?” her mom understood perfectly.
“Something like that,” Kennedy admitted even though she wasn’t entirely sure if she would be leaving with them.
“Alright, I understand. But you need to be home before seven in the morning,” Lorelei told her, for once in her life sounding like a parent.
“Sounds good,” Kennedy told her mom, trying to not make Alex think that there was anything out of the ordinary going on.
“You know that you should tell him, Kenne,” her mother lectured her. She often wondered how her mother could possibly know her so well when she was never home often enough to get to know her. Maybe it was because she was so much like her mother.
Kennedy let out a sigh, “I know, mother, I’ll see you later,” she said and then hung up the phone. She turned to Alex. “She said it would be alright,” Kennedy said with a smile plastered on her face that Alex wouldn’t be able to tell the difference if it were fake or real.
“That’s great,” Alex said and grabbed for her waist and pulled her down onto the bed with him. “What do you think we should do with the rest of our evening?” he asked her and cuddled next to her.
“I don’t know, it’s already eleven, I think that we should go to bed personally,” she told him and he laughed.
“Whatever you want. I’m just glad that you’re mine again,” he told her and she nuzzled next to his chest. “What made you change your mind?” he asked her as he got up and turned off the lights. He got under the covers again and she was back to the position she had been in a few seconds prior. She thought about his question.
Because I might be moving. “Because I realized that Jack was right and you were right and that I love you and I couldn’t resist us. We’re great together and you are my everything,” she said putting emphasis on everything.
He stared into her eyes, “Kennedy, I don’ even think you realize how much I love and adore you,” he told her and it made her heart skip a beat.
“Goodnight Alex,” she whispered to him and wrapped herself around him.
She felt him smile, “Goodnight, love,” he whispered back and wrapped his arms securely around her.
She pretended to be asleep periodically throughout the night, predominantly at the beginning when they were just getting to bed, because she didn’t want to talk anymore. She was worried that if he kept her talking then she would cave in and tell him and she didn’t want to ruin this moment, that moment with Alex and feeling so close to him; emotionally and physically.
He finally fell asleep around one am, but she was unable to sleep all night long. She couldn’t help but think that she just wanted to stay there throughout the night and wake up with him holding her. It was different when they kept their relationship a secret because then it didn’t give as much satisfaction bout waking up with him, but now that everybody, mostly Jack, knew about them all she wanted to do was shove it in people’s faces that she had been the one to make Alex Gaskarth fall in love with her.
She rolled over onto her side in the middle of the night and Alex followed right behind her subconsciously. He spooned with her and she tried her absolute hardest to fall asleep like that, but she was unable. Her mind wouldn’t stop over thinking, over analyzing, over processing; it did a lot of over the top thinking.
At around six o’clock in the morning, she moved his arm as delicately as she could so that she wouldn’t wake him up and she was successful. He stirred a little bit, almost like he was looking for her, but he grabbed a pillow and cuddled that instead. She got all her clothes on soundlessly and bent down and gave him a soft kiss on his lips and whispered, “I love you,” then grabbed a piece of paper and sprawled the words out on paper: I love you. – K.
She left it on his nightstand where he wouldn’t be able to help but see it then grabbed her purse and put on her shoes then left without even making him stir.