It's a Girl!

Nikki seemed just as shocked as I was. "Did you bring anything else?" He asked, turning to Roxanne. She nodded and fetched a whole packet. It was all the information I would need to take care of her for the next six months. I opened it to the first page and began reading out loud.

Her favorite food is chicken nuggets in the shape of dinosaurs. They must be dinosaur shaped or else she will not eat them.

She is allergic to honey. If she has any she breaks out in hives.

She takes dinosaur shaped vitamins in the morning. And yes, they must also be dinosaurs or she will refuse to take them.

I glanced up at Roxanne. "What is up with you and dinosaurs?"

She shrugged. "I guess I just like dinosaurs. When I was a kid I had a stuffed dinosaur named Lothar and he could spit acid if someone made him mad. But he would only spit when no one was around." She explained. I flipped seven pages forward and continued reading.

Do not leave her alone for too long because she gets super lonely and starts to rip stuff up. This is why she could not go to Europe with me. She has some kind of abandonment issue, and-- for some reason that I can't fathom-- I think it's your fault.

Her favorite shows are those ones involving fat people going through obstacle courses. She also enjoys those violent Japanese game shows. She'll watch just about anything, so don't put yourself through too much trouble trying to find an obese man falling off of a climbing wall.

If you have any questions, please call me.

Her phone number was scribbled under that. I sighed and went to grab the phone. Who did Heather think she was, dropping some kid I never knew I had at my house and expecting me to take care of her for half the year? That's just fucking stupid, dude.

Nikki stopped me. "Let's take her down to the hospital and we'll get a blood test. Then we'll know for sure."

"So you think I'm a liar?" Roxanne poked her head in.

"Yes." I said, setting the phone down.

She sighed and we all walked out to my car. She climbed into he back seat and we interrogated her until we reached the parking lot. Everything she said sounded completely true. All the facts were backed up with evidence that I couldn't argue with. I actually had fucked Heather on out last day together-- which explained how Roxanne was conceived in the first place.

We walked into the doctor's office and we walked into some room. Nikki sat down on one of the chairs while I sat next to my "daughter" on the hospital bed. The doctor dude walked in and asked what the problem was.

"This kid claims that she's my daughter." I said, looking at the girl sitting next me. Without a doubt, she had Heather's legs.

The doctor nodded. "We'll prick both of your fingers and run a paternity test." He said, glancing at Roxanne, who was kicking her legs around. "Though it seems we could already tell by looking at you. You two look exactly the same."

Nikki giggled behind him. I gave him a death-glare to keep him quiet. But he just kept laughing just to piss me off. Some nurse walked in, took blood from both of us, then they went to test it. I looked at Roxanne.

"Are you sure your mom sent you here?"

"Why don't you believe me?" She asked. "I just don't get it."

To tell the truth, I honestly didn't know. "Listen-- I don't get any of this. None of it makes any sense to me. Heather and I never had a fucking baby!"

"Well, I'm living proof, so you better get used to the idea," She turned away.

Right as I was about to say something, the nurse came in. "Mr. Lee? We have the results. Please come with us." I got up and followed her out. Damn, that was fast.

The doctor greeted me with a firm handshake. "Congratulations, Mr. Lee. You have a daughter."

My lungs kicked my stomach and I went completely white. The kid was telling the truth. Heather and I did have a baby, and I was just too much of a dumb ass to shut up and listen to Roxanne. Either way, it was too much for me to handle, and I refused to believe that I had a child. I walked back into the room and saw Roxanne sitting next to Nikki, holding his hand. He was telling her about the time he overdosed on heroin and nearly died, and she looked very entertained.

"Come on, let's go." I said quietly. They got up and followed me out to the car, still going on about Nikki's near-death experience.

Roxanne tapped me on the shoulder as I was driving. "So what was the test result?"

I ignored her and sped the car up. Nikki glowered at me.

We got home and walked inside. After tossing my keys onto the couch, I swiveled around to face Roxanne. "What do you want from me? Do you want money or something? What are you here for?"

Her bottom lip trembled. "I was here for my dad. But you're a fucking jerk, so never mind." Tears poured down her cheeks and she headed for the door. Nikki followed her, saying that I didn't mean it. He knew me all too well.

She ignored him and grabbed all her stuff. "I'll call mom and ask her about plan B. Cause apparently all she told me was a lie. You're not my father and I guess I don't even have one." She muttered.

I ran after her. "Wait! I- I'm sorry."

"No, I'm sorry. If the test proved me wrong, then I guess I am a liar. You're a great judge of character."

"Roxanne," I sighed. She turned back around, wiping another tear from her cheek. I walked over and threw my arms around her. "Please don't go. The test was positive. I'm your father and I'm also the biggest dick alive."

She looked up at me, her eyes shining with tears. I laughed and hugged her closer to me.

"Come on, let me show you your room." I grabbed her hand and led her into the guest room of the house. After getting her all situated, I walked back out to Nikki. He stood there, smiling.

"She's a great little lady, Tommy. You're lucky." He shook my hand before turning to leave.