A Loaded God Complex.

I fidgeted with my tie and again felt stupid. It liked the suit, Ryan helped me pick it out, but I'd never gone to a dance before… for a reason. Stepping away from the mirror I paced around my room once and came back to the spot in front of the mirror where I was previously standing. I had forgotten to check my hair. Ok, it wasn't too bad, but it wasn't great, it was never great. How could it be great with horns sticking out of it?

"Brendon!" Kaylee called from the living room.

"What?" I shouted back frustration ringing in my voice. A sigh following it.

"Ryan's here!"

"Ok!" I tried to respond smoothly, but really I couldn't hold the new butterflies in. I brushed a hand over my bangs and cleared my throat upon hearing his footsteps near.

"Hey, Bren." Ryan plopped down on my bed and crossed his legs.

"You look nice." Smiling, I observed his appearance: black pants, blue shirt, pin stripe vest and shiny leather shoes accompanied by purple socks. Even if he picked out my outfit I still felt outdone by him.

"You do too." He stood and then glanced behind him at the door.

In one swift motion and a sly smile he snaked his arms around me. Shutting his eyes, Ryan attached his lips to mine, slowly they parted, I followed. Keeping the groan in my throat I pressed closer to him. Ryan let me linger against him for a second and then pulled away.

"Wha- what'd I do?" I gasped and pushed up my glasses. What I was really wondering was: how did I do?

"Nothing." Ryan comforted as he placed a hand on my cheek, "That was nice."

His eyes wandered between my darker set of chocolate eyes and mouth. I licked my pouting lips and fought the urge to kiss him more as I pulled away wiping my brow. Unlike at his house it was too risky here, and I felt all too greedy. Ryan gulped and tugged at my jacket to straighten it out. Running his hands down the collar he shot me a small smirk.

"We should go meet Nicole." Ryan suggested and I nodded wordlessly. Quietly he chatted, "I got one of my old friends to come down and DJ for us." Again I simply nodded.

Some how I managed to gather my composure before we made it into the kitchen where my parents were sitting. My father set down his news paper and my mother turned from cutting vegetables.

"Brendon come 'ere." My dad pushed himself up with the help of his knees and a grunt, "You look more and more like a man everyday."

"Thanks." I said shyly as my mother rinsed her hands and then smothered my face in kisses. They definitely didn't hold the same flutters the ones previously received.

"Jenny doesn't know what she's missing!" My shoulders dropped and out of the corner of my eye I saw Ryan stop nibbling on the carrot he had snatched.

"Dear…" My father warned, my mom shrugged and threw her hands up.

"Oh, well, she doesn't! Now I want some pictures." She covered her weariness and clapped her hands together.

Ryan smiled as I turned to him and we went outside to the setting sun. We stood side by side next to the front porch while my mother took pictures with her Polaroid camera. Afterwards we made our way to the school, where Nicole was standing out front waiting. Ryan held a hand on my ribs and I halted seeing someone walk up to her. Glancing over at Ryan he had a familiar coy grin on his face. Pete was bashfully standing in front of Nicole staring at his feet. It was the happiest I'd ever seen him, even despite is drably colored and awkward fitting suit. And this was the most nervous I'd ever seen Nicole, her peach dress shimmered as she shifted her weight one each foot.

We were both too far away to hear what they were saying, but the motions made it pretty clear. Removing his hands from behind his back he revealed a corsage. Another moment passed before he figured out what to do with the plastic box still in his hands. Then when he did try to slip it gracefully onto Nicole's wrist she ended up flinching away. This seemed to phase him for a second and his mouth twitched down a little. Nicole simply shrugged it off and placed the thick frames in Pete's front jacket pocket. He gulped and glanced up. A few words were exchanged and then they entered the dance arms locked. Ryan and I looked at each other, then went inside too.

Immediately, I felt chaotic. The wooden floors vibrated from the music, the flaking white-painted ceiling was covered with red streamers, balloons littered the floor, and kids filled the entire room. Colored lights lifted as the DJ broadcasted the upcoming events for the evening. At 9:30 the king and queen were going to be announced.

"Hey, I'm going to get some punch." Ryan leaned close to my ear, I nodded silently.

"Brendon!" A bouncing and giggling Nicole shouted, "I can't believe it! We're all here!"

"I know." I flashed a small smile and observed the room.

"Where's Ryan?"

Finishing my look over of the gym I saw him and Pete by the punch bowl. My insides shook a little, I had no clue if Pete was actually going to be nice to Ryan of if he was going to put up an act for some odd to God reason. Ryan didn't deserve that. I pointed to the area, both of them noticed. I waved stupidly and Nicole reddened as Pete held up a cup.

"So where's your date?" She teased, I then suddenly felt utterly and distinctly out of place.

"Come on…" I said with a cracking and shaking voice, "You know I don't like anybody Nic."

She nodded and chuckled with her arms crossed over her chest. Pete started making his way over through the crowd. Needless to say at least one drink ended up spilling, and it landed all over his pants. The ruby red of the punch stuck out greatly on his light grey trousers. A line of curses escaped his mouth as he tried brushing it off.

"Here, I really didn't want a cup anyways." He offered it to Nicole, who took it graciously, but never actually drank from it, "I don't think Ryan will be coming over anytime soon." Pete turned to me, "He's a cool guy, I'm glad he finally told me that he doesn't like-" He added.

"What?" I asked scared of the rest of the sentence. Nicole or girls in general? Either way it could have been bad.

"What?" He questioned back.

"Wait, what?" Nicole finally jumped in.

"Yeah, he has a lot of friends." I pushed on with the other route of the conversation. I felt my collar tighten, pulling at it I started walking forward, "I think the locker rooms are open. I still have a pair of pants here, if- if you want them."

"Alright, cool. Be right back!" Pete walked backwards and waved to her before out of sight.

I was right, the locker rooms where open since they were the only easily accessible bathrooms near the gym. The music was still very audible through the thick oak door of the locker room, yet it felt a little less crazy. When we entered we saw a large group of guys checking themselves out in the mirror. Ignoring them, and trying to be incognito I went straight to my locker in the dim corner. He settled on the red skinny jeans and also decided to borrow the black t-shirt I had. Again, I felt outdone. Pete could pull off the look: a grey jacket, a white vest, black t-shirt, red pants and saddle shoes.

Before exiting he stopped in the area of the locker room with the large group of boys by the mirrors and stalls. Whipping out a comb from his jacket pocket he began to spike up bits of his gelled down hair. A few other boys managed to squirm up front to see themselves in the florescent lights, while I sat quietly aside.

"So, I guess this is what it's like for guys like us." A voice mumbled in the back of the crowd, however it caught Pete's attention.

"Nah, man. One night could change it all." Pete responded smugly as a teacher walked in.

"Break it up! You too Urie!" He blew a high pitched whistle and watched as all of the boys filed out.

Pete and I were the last to leave, and apparently I was the first to make it to Nicole.

"Where's Petey?"

Shrugging we both laid eyes on the scene before us: him crowd surfing. He was gently set down once a gap came, and immediately Nicole jumped on him in a hug, laughing. Standing there, alone- awkwardly, a few kids tried pushing me into a circle formed. Luckily, I kept my balance enough to stay out of it, once giving up on me they pushed William Hung into dance.

"There you are." Ryan came over with the promised punch, "Don't worry, I got it before the football team spiked it." I couldn't help but laugh as I took from his hand. "Is everything ok Brendon?"

"Yeah, fine." I gave a weak smile, that went detectable under the dark lights.

"Ok. I think we should find Nicole and Pete again…" Feeling a little separated and left out I nodded solemnly, "It is only for if we get split up again. Unless, you want to be like William." He said through the side of his mouth. I let a loud chortle escape as I watched the flailing mess.

We searched through the bunches of people, and landed near the center of the gym. Ryan spotted Pete first, on center court. The mass of teenagers were cheering his name and clapping. Nicole came up and excitedly hit our shoulders, squealing. Slowly the volume of the music died down and the clapping became faster into an applaud.

"Ok! Ok!" The DJ's voice boomed, "Thank you for that killer lead off!" One more applaud was given for Pete, "And now, it's Travie McCoy sayin' we gotta pick our king and queen."

Ryan avoided looking at the stage and all throughout Pete and Nicole embraced in a intense kiss. Girls' names were being called up first. The last girl to be called, Taylor Swift, was named queen. Next where the guys. Ryan's name was last and he got up on stage where a big fuzzy blue crown awaited him. Before the slow dance came on a thunderous round of applause was given.

Then Ryan and Taylor stepped down from the small stage set up, he took Taylor's hand and placed a hand on her lower back. A loneliness filled me, and I knew it didn't mean anything. Yet, as I stared at him, I could only wish he could be with me. In my jealous-distraction I hadn't noticed an unusually large group around the punch bowl. Ryan had spun around and now Taylor was facing me, deciding I needed to move I went to head to the back of the gym.

Before I got even one step I saw a waterfall of that same sparkling red liquid Pete had problems with. It smelled and the people around me smelled too. I was surrounded by a mob of taunting, drunk, and vicious kids. My world was spinning, many were laughing, teachers were rushing towards me and I could no longer find Ryan, Pete or Nicole. I had forgotten what this type of embarrassment was like. I had had plenty of self-embarrassment, but that just good for a person; Torturous and cruelness weren't. Rotating back around to the way I was previously facing, Pete was shoving the guy holding the punch bowl still and I saw Ryan in the back by the DJ urgently trying to get something. The sound system screeched and everyone stopped to gaze at the stage.

"Stop! You think it's funny? Why? Let me tell you something," Ryan's voice became dark, "no one should be judging. Don't any of you dare think you're perfect." A sigh of relief came from the audience, and one person chanted his name. Shaking his head he paced a few steps.

"Polygamy, drugs, alcoholism, prison. Incest!" his pointing finger paused on Angelina, "Infidelity, wet-lock, suicide, fraud, shoplifting, eating disorders," His list went on and on. The audience was in an almost a permanent gasp. Turning his finger on himself, Ryan breathed in, "Homosexuality."

Whispers started up again, and he let them for a moment. Meanwhile, I stood soaking wet, with my hands in my pockets and avoiding looking at other people. I just wanted to go home, and as much as I cared for the boy defending me I wished I had never met him that day in the graveyard. I wouldn't have been standing in a school dance, dripping in punch and humiliate more than ever before, if it wasn't for him. I could handle spit, rumors and other things thrown at me. But, being doused in front of the whole school? By far the worst.

"Most of you seem to believe that God's judgment is the only one that matters. Then why do you all judge so harshly yourselves? It's not your job!" Shaking his head, he mumbled a few things. Only the last was clear enough to hear, "What a loaded God complex."

He stepped down and handed Travie his microphone, giving him a miniature salute. People parted like the red seas as Ryan, Pete and Nicole all escorted me clumsily out of the gym.