Accidents Happen

We walked around for a few hours, looking at all the lights and the people out enjoying the New York air. We let the emotions of the city over take us, let ourselves be swept up in the down-played hustle and bustle of a New York night. It was truly beautiful. Zacky's calloused fingers never left mine. Matt held Zacky as we wondered aimlessly through the streets stopping in the stores that stayed open far into the night. Brian walked beside me, glancing at me ever so often. I guessed it was just to make sure I was still there. He had told me that when I left he felt like he lost two people from the world. And after those words left his mouth I hugged him tight and never let go. Figuratively of course. Johnny, well Johnny walked near Matt, looking around with excited eyes. Pointing at places he wanted to go, and dragging us with him. Not that we minded, it felt good to have my boys back. After a little while Zacky clunked out on Matt's shoulder. His little arms wrapping around Matt's neck as his eyes shut tightly. Matt didn't seem to bothered about it. His role of Uncle Matt being fully embraced. Zacky wrapped me up in his arms as the chill set it. Hugging me close to his chest as we walked.
I didn't know where we would go in life, together I mean. But at that moment I knew Zacky would always be there for his son and I. And I was glad that the light in his eyes was slowly returning.
"You boys ready to head home?" I asked, standing still in Zacky's embrace.
I received an answer of quiet yeses. As we walked back to the car, Zack took his son from Matt's arms, and smiled at his sleeping form. When we reached the car everyone piled back in. Zack offered to drive, and I let him. The car was filled with a content silence. And my thoughts immediately thought back to a time when silence was a rare thing to come by. When Jimmy had graced our lives.
Thinking about him makes the tears spring to my eyes, and most times laughter fills my heart, along with regret and an unbearable sadness that makes me want to scream. But I know that Jimmy had the life he wanted. He really did change the world and so did his very last album, 'Nightmare'. It had been a best selling album, bigger then 'City Of Evil' or 'Waking the Fallen'. Because everyone wanted that last final piece of the infamous Rev. And back then when Jimmy passed most started supporting 'foREVer' in honor of never forgetting the man who chased his dreams. And it made such a big impact in my life that so many would mourn over and miss James Owen Sullivan. He was just one man, but his love, and his personality showed many just what kind of person he was. I was floored.
I'll always love Jimmy, but like Zacky said three years back, "Jimmy will always be with me in everything I do. Except sitting at home being sad, so today Im going to try to start living again." And we all will, it's time to live.
When Zacky parked the car out side our apartment I was the first one out. Ready for sleep. It had been a long day. And at the end of it, it seemed to drag on. Like thoughts of Jimmy always did, because I begged for them to come back and be more then just a memory.
Once I got Zacky out of the car we were headed up stairs. The boys trailing behind us.
"I'm beat, boys. I think I'm going to sleep now. I love you guys." I told them, shifting Zacky in my arms.
"We love you too, Maxx. Don't ever disappear on us again okay?" Matt asked, the others nodding their heads as well.
"I won't, I promise. Good night," I hugged each one of them as best as I could with a sleeping baby in my arms and walked quietly up the stairs knowing that the boys would make themselves right at home, and sooner or later Zack would crawl into bed beside me wrapping his arms around me and letting me know he's not going any where.