Scream Me a Dream

Saturday January 15, 2011

“Hi.” She whispered.

Ville blinked as he stared at her in disbelief. “Hi.”

“I…um…” Soya blinked and crossed her arms over her chest. “I didn’t know you’d be here.”

“No...I…I didn’t’ know you were…yeah.” He sighed, running a hand though his hair.

Soya bit her lip as she stared up at him, only to give him a weak smile. “Did you need something from the kitchen or…?”

“Yeah.” He said, blinking and shaking his head. “Yeah, I was going to grab a water, you?”

“I was going to the living room.” Soya said, pointing towards the door behind him.

“Right.” He nodded and moved to the right so he unblocked the door to let her pass. “I...uh...I like your haircut.”

Soya bit her lip as she ran her fingers through her hair a bit self-consciously. “Thanks. I should…” she pointed for the door again before walking towards it, feeling his eyes on her back as she pushed the door and walked out. She made a beeline for the living room, smiling and hugging Burton, who had just arrived, when he stood to greet her, only to glare at Toni when she smiled up at Soya.

“Hey.”

“Can I talk to you real quick?”

“Told you it wouldn’t be a good idea.” Linde muttered.

“You, I will get to later.” Soya warned, pointing at Linde. “And that’s if Ville doesn’t get to you first.”

“Come on,”’ Toni chuckled, getting up from the couch and motioning Soya down the hall. Soya followed Toni into the bathroom, Toni shutting the door behind her. “All right, let me have it.”

“You told me he wouldn’t be here.” Soya said.

“No, no, no, no,” Toni said quickly, “I said he was out of the loop…much like you were.”

“Toni!”

“Like I said, we knew what we had to do to get you here, and letting you assume that Ville wasn’t coming was the way to go.” Toni shrugged. “I know it was a mean thing to do, but if we didn’t get you together this way, you guys would never get together and talk.”

“Toni.” Soya sighed.

“Look, it’s just dinner, whether you guys talk after or not, that’s all you, but you guys needed to at least see each other.”

“But it wasn’t up to you to decide.” Soya said patiently, leaning against the sink.

“What? You were going to leave it up to Ville? He’s still trying to figure out how to apologize to you.” Toni teased.

Soya groaned running a hand through her hair and shook her head at her friend. “A little warning would have been nice; it was very awkward in the kitchen.”

“How much do you want to bet that it’s going to get even more awkward?” Toni teased, opening the door to the bathroom and walking out, Soya following after.

“I have a feeling you’d win that one.” Soya laughed, shaking her head as they walked back into the living room. Ville had come out of the kitchen and was sitting on the couch, glaring at Linde.

“Dinner’s ready,” Toni said, “If you all want to make your way to the dining room. Soya, help me bring it out?”

Soya nodded, following Toni as everyone started to get up.

“You’re an asshole.” Ville muttered to Linde as they walked to the dining room.

“It wasn’t my idea, it was Toni’s.”

“You could have told me.” Ville said, still glaring.

“Then you wouldn’t have come.” Linde pointed out.

“Let it go, Ville. You’re here, she’s here. We’re not going to pick sides.” Mige said, taking a chair next to his wife. “You’re both our friends. Just because you can’t get your head out of your ass doesn’t mean we’re going to stop being friends with her.”

“I’m not asking you to.” Ville muttered, sitting next to Linde and facing an empty chair that sat next to Gas. “I would have liked a little warning, is all.”

Natali laughed. “I’m sure Soya would have liked it, too, but we knew that if we told either of you, we’d be denied the pleasure of your company.”

Ville rolled his eyes as Toni and Soya came back in, Soya setting a bowl of salad in the middle of the table, before looking around at the free chairs, rolling her eyes at her friend’s actions of having her sit across from Ville before taking her seat.

Toni set her eggplant lasagna next to the salad bowl. “All right, dig in.” Toni said, as they passed around the dishes and served themselves.

“Toni, I haven’t seen the dogs and cats running around.” Soya said, passing the salad bowl to Ville.

“Ah, the dog is our room, and the cats are around here somewhere.” Toni said, “Did your pup travel okay?”

“She’s a trooper.” Soya laughed. “I don’t think she’ll be going on anymore 12 hour flights though – she’d glare at me every time I put her in the carrier thinking she’d have to go on a plane again – but she did fine.” She turned to Burton. “How’s Aida doing on the piano? Every time I talk to her she tends to avoid every question I ask her and rant on about something else.”

Burton laughed. “She’s doing great, I already talked to her about when I leave for tour and she promised she’d practice, but I’m going to have a friend of mine take over once a week, just to make sure she keeps it up.”

Soya nodded, reminding herself to talk to Burton more about that when they had a minute alone. She felt Ville’s eyes look at her every so often, and tried to ignore it as she got sucked into the conversation at the table. She noticed he wasn’t talking much, speaking when asked a direct question, only keeping up with bits and pieces of the conversation. She could tell he was in his own mind, and when she was wasn’t passing discreet glances at him; he was looking at her, making her shift in her seat. She wasn’t sure if she was uncomfortable with his looks or pleased, her mind was conflicted, and because of it she would continually, self-consciously, tuck the stray pieces of hair behind her ears and try hard to keep her own gazes to a minimum.

“So you’re here permanently now, Soya?”

Soya blinked, bringing herself out of her conflicting emotions, and felt Ville staring at her again, causing her to look at Linde. “Sorry, what?”

“You’re here in Helsinki permanently now?” Linde asked again.

Soya nodded, feeling all the eyes on the table jumping between her and Ville. “I am. Josef’s going to start shipping all my things from New York starting next week.”

“Josef told me he was moving in with his boyfriend.” Linde smiled, causing Soya to grin.

“He is! They’re looking for a place outside the city, so he’s selling me his half of the house and at ridiculously high price, so we’re in negotiations.”

“Why don’t you just sell the house if you’re moving here?” Gas asked.

“Ah, because I still have my studio down there, so I still have to make frequent trips to New York, probably once every four months or so – or whenever Brooke calls me and tells me to come down – and I love my townhouse to much to sell it.” Soya laughed.

“Sorry, sorry, I’m really behind on your life,” Burton laughed. “What happened to the dance company?”

“Soya got kicked out.” Vedrana teased, causing Soya to gasp.

“I did not get kicked out.” Soya pouted. “They asked me to leave.”

Natali laughed. “That’s just a nice way to say ‘kicked out’, Soya.”

“Why’d you get kicked out?” Burton asked, only to laugh when Soya mock glared at him. “Sorry, what’d you get asked to leave.”

“They found out about the ankle I twisted, and couldn’t have a potential liability on stage, so I was asked to leave.” Soya said with a shrug, “I’m only disappointed that I didn’t get to dance in Swan Lake, which is what they’re doing this time around, but I have my own projects to work on here and it’s made me happy so far.”

“So that means you’ll be here in May?”

Soya blinked at Burton and nodded slowly. “Yes, it does.”

“So it means you and Ville can get married on the date you want.”

Different reactions filled the table; Ville stiffened, Gas nearly choked on the piece of lasagna he was eating trying to keep from laughing while his wife elbowed him to keep quiet, and Burton smirked at his clever joke. Vedrana, Mige and Linde watched Soya and Ville closely to see their reactions, while Toni snorted and looked at Soya. “I told you it would get much more awkward.”

“You are a jerk.” Soya said pointing at Burton, though she had a small teasing smile on her face.

Burton laughed. “What? Are we still not joking about this? Come on! I’m surprised we can all fit in the room with the giant elephant sitting in the corner waiting to trample us.”

“Burton.” Ville sighed.

“What?” Burton asked, as Ville shook his head and got up.

“Excuse me.” He muttered, leaving the dining room.

Soya sighed and put her own napkin on the table. “That’s also my cue to excuse myself.”

“Oh. Soya, stay. Ville will be back in a minute, we haven’t even had desert.” Toni said as Soya pushed her seat back.

“No,” Soya said shaking her head. “I left Austen loose in the flat, and I fear what I’m going to go home to since she’s been alone.”

“Are you sure?” Linde asked.

“Positive, I have a meeting in the morning, too, so I really do need to get going. Thanks for dinner though.” She kissed her friends cheeks goodbye, before leaving the dining room and heading for the front door. She was putting on her jacket when she felt a hand on her arm. Turning, she smiled at Burton who looked apologetic.

“Sorry if I crossed a line with my teasing.”

Soya chuckled softly, leaning up to kiss his cheek. “You didn’t, the teasing doesn’t bother me, Burton,” But it bothered Ville, who, even with his friends, was private with parts of his life, and that bothered her. “But I did want to talk to you real quick, do you mind sending me your friend’s address? I’m going to start driving Aida to her after school classes.”

“Oh, he lives out in Kerava. He was just going to drive out to Sipoo to give her the lessons since he’s only about 15 minutes away. You guys have a piano don’t you, or has Aida lied to me?” Burton teased.

Soya laughed as she buttoned her coat, sticking her hands in her pockets. “We have a piano, yes. Niina knows?”

“Niina knows.” Burton nodded.

“All right then.” Soya said. “Talk to you later Janne.” She said patting his cheek before leaving, nearly running into Ville’s back when she stepped out. “Jesus.” She muttered, closing the door behind her.

“Sorry.” Ville muttered, moving a bit out of the way to unblock her path.

“You’re fine.” She said, keeping her hands in her pockets and playing with her car keys. “What are you doing out here?”

“Thinking,” Ville shrugged. “About to call a cab home.”

“I’ll take you home.”

“You don’t have to do that Soya.”

Soya shrugged. “You’re on my way to my flat, pointless to spend the fare on a cab when I can just take you.”

“I can afford it.” He said sorely, causing Soya to step back.

“But if you’re going to act that way, I’ll just take back the offer.”

Ville sighed. “Sorry, no, I’ll um…yeah, I’ll take the ride.”

“All right then.” Soya nodded as she walked to her car, feeling Ville follow. She unlocked the doors and slipped into the driver’s seat as Ville tucked himself into the passenger side, pushing the seat back so his legs could fit comfortably.

She turned the car on, rubbing her hands together to rub out the coldness, before flipping on the heater. Ville frowned as he watched the action, seeing black wording on her wrist, but instead of reaching out to look at it, he looked out the window as she reversed from spot and started back towards town.

“How’s the writing going?” Soya asked, wanting to break the awkward silence on the half-hour trip back to town. “Linde told me you’ve been working on some new material.”

Ville nodded slowly looking over at her. “Yeah, it’s going well.”

“Good, I’m glad.”

“Is the car another rental?”

“No, I bought it.” Soya answered. “Mige helped me pick it. The salesmen didn’t want to take the price down any, and so I thought of all my friends, Mige was the most intimidating.”

Ville felt himself give a laugh, even though he tried not to be amused, and shook his head. “You should have gotten one of The Eyes to go down with you.”

“Thought of that too.” Soya said, trying not to grin too wide. “But when I called Mige he said he was in the area and dropped by.”

“Have you talked to Aida a lot?” Ville asked quietly, another girl in his life he’d wondered about but hadn’t had the courage to call.

“I have.” Soya nodded. “I called her nearly every night, she’s at a drama camp at the moment, doesn’t get back until Wednesday afternoon. She missed you, by the way.” Soya whispered, running a hand through her hair.

“Missed her, too.” He muttered.

She felt their lighthearted conversation get serious quickly at the words, and felt herself swallow as she spared him a glance, before focusing back on the road. “I understand why you didn’t call me,” she said, trying to feel nonchalant about the words she was speaking, but knew it wasn’t working. “But you could have called her. She really idolizes you Ville, it really saddened her when she hadn’t heard from you since nearly Christmas.”

Ville nodded. “I’ll be sure to call when she gets back, then.”

Soya bit her lip as silence overtook the car, keeping the questions that wanted to tumble out of her mouth in. She didn’t just want to ask him questions, she wanted to reach out and take his clenching fist into her hand, touch him to make sure he was real.

She thought he would get out of the car as fast as he could once she parked in front of the tower, but even as she turned off the car and sat in her seat with her hands in her lap, he sat next to her.

“Why didn’t you call?” Soya blinked at herself, surprised the words had come out of her mouth, but not regretting them.

“Soya.” Ville sighed.

Soya shook her head. “If you’re not going to answer, then please get out of the car so I can go home.”

Ville gave a quiet groan as he rested his head against the head rest, “Every time I tried to, everything I thought I would say seemed so pathetic, nothing seemed good enough.”

Soya blinked as she looked over at him. “Ville I just wanted you to call me, I didn’t need you to wax poetic or find the perfect words, all I wanted was a phone call.” Soya stared at him as he stared at the top of her car. “And if you were so intent on apologizing, why didn’t you just show up at the airport?”

Ville frowned, turning his head to look at her. “What?”

“When I came home, why didn’t you meet me at the airport?”

“Soya, I didn’t even know you were back in town until tonight.”

Soya stared at him in disbelief, only to cover her face with her hands as she tried not to let her frustration rise. Feeling the car start to confine her, she turned and got out, slamming the door shut.

“Soya.” He started getting out of the car.

“No!” She yelled walking around the car to poke at his chest. “You do not get to talk! Did you listen to any of my messages Ville!?”

“Of course I did!”

“Did you listen to all of them?!” She yelled.

“Soya.”

“Did you?”

“No! I didn’t, all right, I didn’t!”

Soya blinked as she stared at him, only to shove his chest forcefully, causing him to stumble back against the car. “I poured my heart out to you in those damn messages, Ville! I agonized over every single one of them, and you didn’t listen to them!”

“Soya!”

“No!” she yelled, glaring at him. “Did you just watch me call and decide not to pick up once you got your new phone? Did you even bother to try and call me back? Did you listen to one and just decide that it wasn’t worth it to listen to the rest?! What was it Ville?! Tell me why you didn’t fucking call me back!!”

He reached for her then, gripping her arms and pulling her forward, only to move his hands up her arms to cup her cheeks. “En voinut.”(I couldn’t) he whispered, shaking his head as he rested his forehead against hers, feeling the fight leave her body as she stared into his eyes. “I just…couldn’t Soya. Your voice broke my fucking heart with each message you left. I couldn’t hear them without feeling the guilt of the things that had happened between us. I’m so sorry.” He whispered, kissing her cheek and moving to the other. “So fucking sorry for everything.”

His lips moved from her cheeks to her forehead, to each of her eyes to the tip of her nose before moving down and kissing her closed lips. He kissed them again, trying to coax a response out of her, only to feel her lips move slowly against his as if hesitant, and that killed him. He hated how her hands stayed by her sides, how her back stayed stiff and how her lips didn’t quite give in the way they used to. He pulled away and felt a puff of air leave her lips as she sighed.

“This isn’t something you can just fix with a kiss, Ville.”

“I know.” He said quietly.

“This isn’t something I want you to fix with just a kiss. You’ve really hurt me and I don’t…I hate that I’m starting to take the steps to heal and then something like this happens.”

“I’m sorry that I hurt you Soya. I’m sorry that I didn’t just get over myself and call you. I’m sorry I haven’t taken the steps to fix this sooner. I want to fix this, I need to.”

Soya pulled away from him and groaned, covering her face with her hands. “Why do you do this to me?”

“Soya.” He whispered softly, moving closer to her.

“We need to talk.” She whispered, taking her hands away from her face and crossing them over her chest. “I’d really like to get together and just talk.”

“Then let’s go inside and talk.”

Soya shook her head, “I can’t. I have a meeting early in the morning, but if you’re not busy, we can get together after. I should be done around noon if you want to meet me at my flat.”

“I’m free.” Ville said with a nod.

“Okay,” she whispered, stepping back from him. “I should probably get going then.”

Ville nodded and started for his door. “Thank you for the ride Soya.”

“No problem Ville.” Soya said with a small smile, he watched as she slipped into her car and turned it on. He walked up to his door, unlocking it and stepping inside only to close it and lean against the wood with a tired sigh.

He was about to push away to go lie in his bed and chastise himself repeatedly for everything he’d done wrong, when a rapid knock came at his door. He looked through the peephole, only to frown when he saw Soya standing on the other side. Opening the door, prepared to ask her what was wrong, he was surprised when her small form launched at him the minute the door was wide enough, her arms wrapping around his neck as her lips found his.

“Minulla oli ikävä sinua, kaipasin sinua niin paljon.” She whispered against his lips, as he slammed the door closed and backed her up against the wood. (I missed you, I missed you so much.)

“Minuakin, Jumala, niin paljon.” He breathed against her cheek. (Me too, God, so much.)

“Yksi yö, ei draamaa, ei ongelmia, vain yksi yö.” She said quietly, cupping his cheeks as she pulled away from him. (One night, no drama, no problems, just one night.) “Unless…”

“No, one night Soya,” Ville agreed, “One night, no drama, no problems. Let’s just…have this and we’ll deal with the consequences in the morning.”

Soya nodded, letting him claim her lips with his as he reached behind her to lock the door before picking her up and leading her up the stairs, unbuttoning her jacket as he went, feeling her own hands pull at the shirt as her legs wrapped securely around his waist. He made his way up the tower steps, only to stop and lean her against the stone wall as her hands shoved at his shirt. He pulled at the shirt himself, pulling it up violently and throwing it to the ground, before going back to Soya and reclaiming her lips.

Her moan echoed in the tower stairwell, his own groan mixing with hers as he felt her small hands explore his upper body. Her fingers trailed down his spine languidly which caused him to shiver, the palms of her hands ran down his side, then up his chest to wrap loosely around his neck.

She kissed the hollow of his throat as he breathed raggedly against her neck. He moved her off the wall and continued up the stairs, feeling her hands roam again as he moved. Walking into their bedroom, because he still considered it theirs, he kicked the door closed behind him. He let Soya unwrap her legs from his waist, letting her stand in front of him.

He watched as she dropped her coat on the floor, before unbuttoning the orange dress she had on, letting it fall open to reveal the blue lace underwear set she had on underneath.

“Heels?” she asked as she shrugged off her dress, letting it fall to the floor.

“Off.” He muttered, his throat tight as he watched her sit on the bed and untie the ribbons at her ankles, the ivory heels slipping from her feet onto the floor.

“Your turn.” She said, crooking her finger at him as she knelt on the bed. He walked towards her, letting her fingers hook onto the belt loop of his jeans, her fingers tracing the skin just above. He blew a slow breath at the actions, her fingers finally coming to rest on the button of his jeans. She undid it, smirking at his lack of underwear as her finger pushed down the zipper.

“Have I told you how much I like it when you don’t wear underwear?”

“A few times.” He whispered, kicking off his shoes and socks and letting her jeans drop, before hovering over her, as she lay back on the bed, spreading her legs to let him fall between them. She reached behind her back and unsnapped her bra, taking it off and throwing it on the floor as Ville tugged on her panties, pulling them over her hips and down her long legs, tossing them onto the ground. He trailed his hands back up her legs, his thumbs running on the inside up her thighs, causing her to gasp loudly and suck the air in quickly as his thumbs grazed the sensitive bundle of nerves.

He braced himself on either side of head as he leaned down to whisper in her ear. “Rakastan että olet aina niin valmis minulle.”(I love that you’re always so ready for me.)

She didn’t respond. Instead, her fingers gripped his chin to bring him to face her. She leaned up and grabbed his lips with hers in a bruising kiss, her fingers moving from his chin to his back, her hips lifting to rub against his, the friction nearly unbearable. He felt her knees tighten against his waist, as he moved against her, not quite thrusting into her, which only annoyed the woman under him as she bit his bottom lip hard.

It was obvious she didn’t want the slow and sweet, and frankly neither did he, so he moved his hips and thrust into her without warning. She let go of his lips, gasping at the near immediate pleasure, her hands moving to behind her head to grip the edge of the mattress.

Her lips parted as she moaned, his own grunts coming out next to her ear, as his fingers tightened on her hips. He felt one of her hands on his arms, moving up to grip at his back, her back arching, pushing their chests together as her eyes opened to meet his.

“Siellä Ville, juusi siellä.” She moaned, causing him to smirk at how vocal she was. (There, Ville, right there.)

He sped up his thrusts, causing her to moan into his ear, her nails to bite into his back and her back to tense as she arched it even further as she orgasmed. He groaned himself when he felt her inner muscles clench tightly, triggering his own fall, his own fingers biting into her hips to keep her in place.

They fell into the bed, their breathing ragged as they came off their highs. Ville’s head pillowed by her chest as she let go of the mattress and rubbed his back, threading her fingers through his hair. Soya smiled lightly as she pulled herself forward and kissed the top of his head.

“Over exert yourself?” she teased, her fingers still running through his hair as she felt him breathe against her. “I could get your inhaler if you want.”

He chuckled lightly against her, his fingers tracing her rib tattoo, “I’m fine.”

Soya nodded lightly as she bit her lip wondering if she should stay the night or start moving to leave. It was odd and hurt a bit having that thought, thinking that he may not want her to sleep in the tower. That she may not be welcome to sleep in the bed with him anymore. She was about to move away from him only to still when she felt him sigh and whisper against her skin.

“I missed you.”

She smiled lightly. “Yeah?”

“So much.” He said, tilting his head to look at her.

She bit her lip as he moved over her and kissed her lightly, “What did you miss Ville?” she didn’t ask because she needed the reassurance that he missed her, she asked because she wondered if he missed the same things about her that she missed about him, also hoping he’d say something charming and stupid to lighten the mood that suddenly settled over the room.

Ville moved to lay on his side next to her, “I didn’t realize just how much of a presence you were in my life.” He admitted, only to shake his head. “I mean, I knew it, but I didn’t? I’m really not making any sense.”

Soya gave a small laugh and shook her head. “Not really.”

Ville chuckled lightly, laying his head on his pillow. “Did you know that when I’m working, you feed me at exactly three thirty? I never hear you come in, but somehow I know that you leave me something to eat, and my stomach knows it too. I didn’t realize just how much you did around the tower.”

Soya narrowed her eyes. “So you missed me doing things for you?”

“No!” Ville said quickly, leaning up on his elbow. “That’s not…” Ville sighed. “I just missed you.” He said with a frown, sitting up on the bed as he tried to sort his thoughts. “I can’t…it’s hard to put into words.” he muttered, causing her to nod slowly. “I didn’t miss the things you do, I just…it was you, your…presence,” he shook his head frustrated that he could write poetic lyrics but couldn’t put into words what he missed about the woman he loved.

Soya sat up, leaning her cheek on his back and wrapping her arms around his waist. “I asked to somewhat the lighten the mood Ville, I didn’t mean to frustrate you.” She turned her head and kissed his spine. “This is weird for me.” She admitted. “It’s the first time that I’ve been with you that I’m not sure where I stand.”

“Soya,” he whispered, turning to look at her.

“It’s just odd,” she said biting her lip. “Not knowing whether it’s okay for me to stay or if I should go.”

“Of course you’re staying.” He said, running his hand over her arm that was wrapped around him, “Come here.” He whispered, pulling her to him so she was sitting next to him, he leaned back against the headboard, Soya curled up to his chest, her cheek resting against him. “We really should have thought this through.” He teased, causing her to laugh weakly against him.

“Probably.”

“The bed though,” he started. “It’s always been our little bubble. We’ve always been able to talk candidly. We don’t hold anything back from each other, especially when we’re in bed. Why should that change?” he ran a hand through the short strands of her hair, tucking her bangs behind her ear. “I think that’s why when I left the tower your plan was to seduce me when I got back.” He teased. “Because you knew that once you got me into the bed, I’d listen.”

“I’m sorry I shoved at you.” She whispered. “Sorry I threw my purse at you, too.”

Ville kissed the top of her head. “I’m not mad about the fight Soya, and neither are you.”

“No, I’m not.” She admitted.

“I realized when I woke up the next morning, how stupid it was to be angry over what your mother said, I’m much more upset over what I caused in my stupidity. I’m much more apologetic for that Soya.”

Soya looked up at him. “Ville?”

“Yeah?”

“Why did you think I’d left you?” she asked. “I mean…I don’t think I left you anything to indicate that I’d left you….did I?”

“When you leave a note and your ring on the kitchen counter, I tend to misinterpret things.” Ville muttered with a quiet laugh.

Soya pulled away from him with a frown. “I left my ring on accident. It’d been bothering me again, so I slipped it off and left it on the counter, and in my rush to get to New York I forgot it. So yes, I left my ring, but I didn’t leave you a note, it’s the reason I called you from the airport.”

“Soya, you left a note, underneath the phone.” He said, turning to scrounge on his nightstand until he found the ragged piece of paper that he’d read and reread every night since Soya had left, handing it to her.

Soya frowned and opened the paper, only to laugh and cover her mouth to hide it as she looked up at him when he frowned at her. “I’m not laughing at you, okay a bit.” She laughed. “Ville, this isn’t a note for you.”

“It has my name on it.”

“Yes, because when I break up with someone, I make sure to write their name inside of a heart.” She said dryly with a roll of her eyes. “You said it was underneath the phone?”

Ville nodded. “That’s where I found it next to your ring.”

“Ville, I’ve been working on this piece of paper since I moved in. I wrote your name when I started writing you a note and never wrote it, I doodled the heart on a separate phone conversation when I saw markers on the counter.” Soya laughed.

“And the inside?”

“Stupid song lyrics that Josef made me write down. He had a burst of inspiration while he was driving, we were talking and I wrote them down. ‘Everyone thought it would be me to break your heart, who knew it’d be the other way around’” she read with a quiet laugh. “Awful if you ask me. It’s just a trash piece of paper. I didn’t write you any note Ville, and if I were to break up with you, I wouldn’t do it over a note this short.” She crumpled the paper up and threw it on the floor.

“You really need to listen to the rest of my messages.” She said with a shake of her head, and looked up at him. “I am sorry that you felt like I’d left you.” She said quietly cupping his cheek. “I swear that was never my intention.”

“You really have nothing to apologize for Soya.” He said, leaning forward to kiss her forehead. “I should have just called you instead of assuming.”

They sat quietly in bed, Soya resuming her position, against his chest and closing her eyes, feeling the rise and fall of Ville’s breathing lull her.

“Did you get new ink?” he asked quietly.

“I did.” Soya answered back. “Since I’m not dancing anymore, I stopped in LA and had Kat finish my back piece and I had her do some script on my wrist.”

He ran his hand up her back and down her left arm, lifting it so he could see the script written, like he had wanted to in the car. “We loved with a love that was more than love.” He read with a small smile, loving the gothic cursive script and its pale blue tint.

“Poe.” She said, “I read the poem a while back and it just seemed to fit.”

Ville nodded slowly, placing a light kiss on the script. “It’s very fitting Soya.”

She nodded against him, her eyes closing only to tilt her head up and look at him. “You thought we’d broken up.”

Ville blinked at her. “Yes.” He said slowly.

“You didn’t…” she pulled away slightly to look at him more fully. “You weren’t with…”

Ville frowned at her. “I wasn’t with…?”

“Anyone else, were you?”

Ville blinked at her before laughing, rubbing his mouth as she glared at him. “Soya!”

“It’s a legitimate question!”

“It’s a stupid one.” He laughed, cupping her cheeks, pulling her forward to kiss her. “Of course I wasn’t with anyone else Soya.” He frowned then and pulled back. “Were you?”

Soya snorted. “Not such a stupid question, now, is it?”

“Soya.” He warned.

“No, I wasn’t with anyone else.” She laughed, as she lay back on Ville’s chest. “I think I got hit on though.”

“Yeah?” he chuckled, running his fingers through her short hair.

“Yeah, I ran into my old dance partner at our New Year’s Eve party, we were catching up and he kept moving closer to me.” Soya laughed. “I made it very clear that I wasn’t interested though.”

“I don’t blame him, you’re a beautiful woman.” Ville told her, kissing the top of her head lightly.

“I’m surprised you didn’t get hit on.” Soya teased.

“I stayed in my tower most of the time.” Ville admitted quietly, “Didn’t feel like going out much.”

“Oh!” Soya pulled away and grinned at him, “How was New Years?”

Ville frowned. “Miserable.”

“Oh, Ville, don’t tell me you spent New Year’s brooding, it’s the first time in ages that you and the guys got to enjoy the fireworks.”

“I went.” Ville nodded slowly. “But uh….” He ran his hand through his hair down to his neck, rubbing the skin there. “It would have been the first time in nearly 13 years that you had gotten to enjoy the fireworks and I had wanted to make it special. I’d gotten a room for us.”

Soya sighed. “Oh, Ville.”

Ville shrugged. “I stayed up with our friends for a while but I just didn’t feel up to being around people, so I went to the room I’d gotten and watched the fireworks a bit before just passing out in bed.”

Soya cupped his cheek, smiling lightly. “If it makes you feel better, I spent my New Year’s in a cab stuck in traffic. I didn’t get home until about two thirty and I left the hotel at eleven.”

“That makes me feel slightly better.” Ville chuckled. “Tell me something.”

“Anything.” Soya smiled.

“What happened to the company?”

Soya sighed and rolled her eyes. “My x-rays got sent to Rebecca back in November. She decided that the proper way to let me know that I was off the company was to not send me my rehearsal schedule instead of calling me. I flew out to New York for no other reason than to pack my things.”

“How’d they get ahold of your x-rays?”

“They accidently got sent.” Soya shrugged.

“Bam?” Ville asked, knowing that Bam was one of the only people that had access to the x-rays.

Soya laughed. “His father. It was an honest mistake though, I’m really not angry about it anymore. I’m more annoyed about how I got asked to leave than anything else, but I talked to Ben and he’s somewhat made it better.”

“Somewhat?” Ville asked.

“He yelled at Rebecca in front of the company, which made me feel better.” Soya laughed. “He’s also willing to hire me on as a consultant, which I’m contemplating.” Soya shrugged. “I don’t know, there are things I want to do here.”

“Like what?” Ville asked, curious to know what Soya had planned in that head of hers.

“You’re going to laugh.” Soya said with a grin.

“I doubt it.” Ville assured.

“I think I want to start my own company.” Soya admitted.

“Really?” Ville asked with a raised eyebrow.

Soya shrugged. “I have that empty lot that my father gave me after he passed, and I figure by the time the construction is complete, Josef would be willing to leave for me.”

“He’d leave?”

“He nearly did.” Soya laughed. “When I got kicked out, he went to Ben’s office and quit.”

“But he’s back?”

“Bastard didn’t last a week.” Soya laughed. “I think the sadist in him is really enjoying the idea of breaking in a new dancer. I figure if he dances for two years while I work on the construction of a building, when it’s finished he can come and break in all the dancers I recruit. Really I’m the only person that’s willing to let him pass out his own brand of torture and allow him the creative freedom he craves. It’s a win-win all around.”

“You’ve thought it out.” Ville said, watching her, and feeling a sense of pride as she nodded. He could see just how excited she was about her project.

“It’s in the works. I’ve talked to Ben and he’s willing to put his support behind it, which is amazing.” Soya shrugged. “I’m not going to lie, I was angry. I would have made the best Odette.” She sighed. “But I’m somewhat relived that I don’t have to dance this season, I could just hear my joints groaning in protest at the idea.” She groaned, laying her chin on his chest. “I’m happy to be back in Hels, start a new chapter in my life.”

Ville smiled gently, leaning down to kiss her forehead. “I’m glad you’re happy.”

“Mmm.” Soya nodded as she closed her eyes.

“Is that why you cut your hair?” Ville asked, running his fingers through the short strands.

“Part of it.” She admitted, opening her eyes slowly. “And I’ve never really gotten to play with my hair, I always had to have it a certain length for when I danced, the length annoyed my mother, you liked my hair long.” She shrugged closing her eyes again. “I wanted to cut it for me.”

Ville frowned. “I didn’t know I had a say in your hairstyle.”

“You don’t.” Soya said opening her eyes again.

“But you said I liked it long.”

“You do.”

Ville nodded slowly. “Sure, I do. Don’t tell me you kept it long because I liked it, though.”

Soya shrugged. “You showed an appreciation for my long hair.”

Ville burst out laughing. “And if I told you I liked women with bald heads would you shave yours?”

“No.” Soya said slowly.

Ville shook his head. “What I’m trying to get at is that my opinion doesn’t matter Soya. Just because I say I like something, like the way you do your hair or the way you dress doesn’t mean you have to keep doing it.”

Soya frowned. “Then why the hell do I keep buying heels and lace underwear?”

“Because those I really do like.” Ville teased. “Soya, how you decide to dress up, do your hair, I don’t have a say in it, just like if I decided to cut my hair.”

“Oh! Please don’t!” Soya laughed, moving to straddle his hips, running her fingers through his ever-growing hair. “I like the little curls you get when you let it grow long.”

Ville laughed. “I like your hair anyway Soya. Do you like it short?”

“I do.” She grinned. “I don’t think I like my hair long anymore.”

“Then keep it short.” Ville laughed.

“Josef just about had a panic attack when he saw how short I’d cut it.” Soya laughed, “He said you wouldn’t have anything to grab onto anymore.”

Ville frowned as he ran his fingers through her hair, tangling them in the strands before pulling her forward for a kiss. “Nope, I still have enough.” He murmured against her lips, before flipping her onto her back and hovering over her. “I don’t want tonight to end.” He whispered.

A smile crept its way onto her face as she wrapped her arms around his neck. “Neither do I.” she whispered, leaning forward to kiss him.

XxxxxxX

He wasn’t sure what had woken him up. He’d fallen into an easy sleep with Soya in his arms, her head pillowed on his chest as she slept lightly. He pried his eyes open, finding the reason for the disturbance; Soya had rolled out of his arms to lie on her stomach on the other end of the bed.

Moving closer to her, he started to wrap his arms around her again, only to stop when he caught sight of her finished tattoo that lay on her back. The detail was amazing, Kat had done a wonderful job getting the innocence and shyness from the picture of Virginia that Soya had shown her, and transferring that onto Soya’s back. He leaned over her, kissing her shoulder blades, before finding the line of her spine and trailing his lips down.

He smirked when he felt the uneven hitch in Soya’s breathing, her eyes opening slowly and turning slightly to look back at him. “What are you doing back there?”

“Getting unbelievably turned on by your tattoo.” He said, moving back up to lean his chest on her back.

“I know, I feel your excitement poking me.” She teased, “Should I be worried that another woman’s eyes are turning you on?”

“So worried.” He whispered, his fingers trailing down her ribs, feeling his way down her thighs and back up to feel the wet heat. “Joten valmis.” He whispered, shifting his hips to slide inside of her slowly, causing her to gasp and lift her hips. (So ready.)

“Aina.” She groaned, her eyes closing as her fingers clenched at the sheets. He lifted himself over her, his hips moving slowly in and out, while his fingers moved to interlock with hers, feeling them tighten around his. (Always)

She whispered his name as her eyes opened. He leaned down and kissed her gasping lips as they moved against each other slowly. She pulled away from him, her fingers gripping his as she buried her face into the mattress. She whispered his name like a prayer as she felt the ball of tension in her lower stomach tighten and slowly release, only to tighten back up with every slow forward thrust that Ville made.

She tightened her fingers around Ville’s as she felt that ball in her lower stomach tighten even further. She moved her hips against his, gasping against the mattress as the ball loosened and with one last thrust, they both fell, their groans mixing and echoing around the room.

He fell on top of her, resting his head on her back as her fingers loosened on his, moving her head so it rested on a pillow and running her fingers through his, smiling lightly.

“Rakastan sinua.” He whispered, his eyes staying open staring at the door of the bedroom as he felt her breathe. He frowned at her silence, but her breathing was still a bit uneven so he knew she wasn’t sleeping. A bit hurt but somewhat understanding, he started to move off her, only for her fingers to tighten on his again to keep him in place.

“Ei ole väliä mitä, tulen aina rakastamaan sinua.” She whispered with a quiet sigh. (No matter what, I will always love you.)

With a small smile, he resumed his position on her back and felt his eyes close. Though he knew that everything would resume back to normal in the morning, he was happy for the small reprieve; satisfied that just for one night, he had Soya back in his arms as if everything were normal. They’d work out the consequences in the morning, their relationship was far from fixed, but he liked to think that this was a step forward.

XxxxxxX

“Soya, Soya, puhelin, vastata puhelimeen.” Ville groaned against her stomach. (Soya, Soya, your phone, answer your phone.)

Soya rubbed her eyes, finally registering that her cell phone was in fact ringing, and turned on her side, causing Ville to groan as he rubbed his face on the mattress, trying to keep the sleep that was quickly evading him.

“Where is it?” she muttered as she bent over the edge of the bed and grabbed her jacket from the floor to check the pockets, finally finding her phone in one of them. “Hei?” she answered, her voice still thick with sleep as she rested her elbow on the mattress. Rubbing her eyes again, she heard the voice on the other end, only to look up and find the clock on Ville’s nightstand. “No! Oh! I’m so sorry, I didn’t…Petri I’m sorry to have kept you waiting, I overslept, give me half an hour and I’ll be there, I’m so sorry.” She hung up her phone and looked over at Ville, who was watching her with an amused smile.

“Tell me now; you’re cheating on me with a dancer aren’t you?”

Soya laughed, leaning down to kiss him quickly. “My lawyer, actually. You’ve made me late for my meeting.” She re-wrapped the sheet that had come loose around her as she started to get off the bed, only for Ville to grab her around the waist, just before her feet could touch the ground.

“The minute you step off the bed, everything goes back to normal.” Ville whispered against her back. “Do we really want that?”

Soya turned and gave him a sad smile. “Of course I don’t want that.” She whispered. “But eventually we’d have to get off the bed and return to the real world. We’d still have to face that our relationship is strained, Ville, and we have to talk about it. If not today, then tomorrow. If not tomorrow, then eventually, and eventually will come Ville.”

Ville slowly let her go, watching as she bit her lip, and turned to lean over him. “I don’t want to get off this bed Ville. I would love to spend the day here and pretend that everything with us is perfect, but even you know it’s not.”

“No, it’s not.” He whispered, looking up at her.

“I want us to fix this. I need us to fix this.” She cupped his cheek and leaned down to kiss him, her lips moving lightly against his before moving away. “And that has to start with me getting off the bed.”

“Are you sure?” he pouted, causing her to laugh.

“Absolutely positive.” She said sadly, kissing him once more before going back to the edge of the bed. She scooted off and hesitated just as her feet hit the ground, only to sigh and take that step off the bed and stand.

The minute she did, she felt the awkwardness of the morning settle in as she started to pick up her clothing, only to cast a look at the closed closet door, wondering if her clothing still sat inside or if Ville had packed it all up.

“It’s still all there.” Ville said quietly, sitting up in bed, pulling the comforter to cover his lower body. “All your clothes and stuff, it’s still in the closest and still in the drawers. I haven’t moved anything.”

“Oh, thank you.”

Ville ran a hand through his hair as he shifted off the bed himself and grabbed a pair of his jeans, pulling them on. “You dress, I’m going to run to the bathroom.” He muttered, leaving the room.

Soya sighed, amazed that just one step off the bed and they were back to that awkwardness of the night before when they’d first seen each other. Running a hand over her face, she opened the dresser drawer, finding that her underwear was still, in fact, laying there. Finding a new set, she slipped it on before moving to the closet, and though he’d assured her everything was still there, she was still surprised when her clothes was still hanging on the side he’d emptied for her and her boxes of purses still on the ground with her shoes sitting next to them.

Pulling out a pair of blue slacks, she slid them on and pulled a grey knit cowl necked sweater off the hanger, pulling it over her head so it settled over her hips. She picked a pair of black heeled booties from the ground and put them on over a pair of stockings she’d found in the dresser, before searching for a black coat. Finding one, she set it on the bed, before going over to the mirror and trying to fix her hair, only to sigh and roll her eyes at herself, claiming the task useless.

She grabbed her jacket and pulled her keys and cell phone out of the pocket, looking around the room until she spotted a grey clutch on the floor and pulled at it, putting her things inside of it. She made it out of the room, looking over at the bathroom, before making her way down the stairs, deciding to meet Ville in the kitchen and start a pot of coffee for him, not wanting to just leave the tower without saying goodbye.

She had to grab on to the railing when her heel got caught on the shirt Ville had thrown off the night before, cursing under her breathe. She picked the shirt up, only to look up with wide eyes when she heard a male chuckle that was not Ville.

“It’s called the walk of shame, Soya, and I never thought I’d see you doing it.”

Soya sighed as she met the eyes of Ville’s brother, about to respond, only to hear Ville’s voice from behind her.

“Leave her alone Jesse, she’s in a hurry.”

“I wasn’t going to leave without saying goodbye.” Soya defended quietly as Ville placed a hand on the small of her back, taking his shirt from her fingers and pulling it on.

“Jesse, did you go wake Ville?”

Soya winced, hearing Anita’s voice, and she thought stepping off the bed was the hardest part of the morning. Having to encounter not only Ville’s younger brother, but his mother as well was probably the hardest and knowing his family, she knew Kari wasn’t that far behind.

“Jesse, did you- Soya!”

“Good morning Anita.” Soya said, hugging the older woman with a smile.

“Please tell me you’re staying for breakfast.” Anita said with a grin. “We missed you around here.”

“Apparently Soya is in a very big hurry.” Jesse smirked.

“I actually am.” Soya said with a small smile. “I have a meeting I’m late for, otherwise I would stay. I’m so sorry Anita.”

“No, no, it’s fine. I understand.” Anita assured.

“I’ll make it up to you. Lunch tomorrow? I’ll cook.” Soya said with a smile.

“Of course, now go.” Anita said patting her hand.

“I’ll walk you out Soya.” Ville said, slipping his boots on and opening the door as Soya pulled on her jacket. She waved goodbye to Anita and Jesse before walking out, Ville following as he closed the door behind them.

She pulled her keys out of her purse, unlocking the door, before turning to Ville, “I’ll see you later?”

“Noon?” he asked.

“It would be perfect.” Soya nodded with a smile, before sighing. “It’s interesting how we can go from a wonderful night to so unbelievably awkward in the morning, isn’t it?”

“More like hell, but interesting is a good word, sure.” Ville said, giving her a slight grin. “You should go; you’re late enough as it is.”

Soya nodded, opening her door, only to stop and turn to him. “Do me a favor?”

“Uh…sure.” Ville nodded.

“If I’m not at the flat when you get there, mind letting yourself in and taking the dog out?”

Ville laughed. “Not what I thought you were going to say.”

“What did you think I was going to say?”

Ville sighed and gave a small laugh, running his hand through his hair. “I have no idea.”

Soya smiled, placing a hand on his cool cheek. “All right, how about this. Promise me something?”

Ville chuckled. “Anything.”

“Whatever happens today, whatever we decide; promise me we’ll eventually go back to being friends.”

Ville blew out a breath, before leaning down and kissing her softly. “As painful as it is to promise it, yes, eventually we can go back to being friends.”

Soya nodded, only to laugh. “Was that unbelievably selfish of me to ask?”

Ville chuckled and shook his head. “Not at all. Go, now, before my mother drags you back in the house for a proper breakfast.”

Soya laughed before sliding into her car and starting it. Ville watched as she gave him a small wave before backing out of the drive. He watched her car disappear before turning and trudging back into his house. He closed the door, stomping the snow off his boots, before slipping them off and going to the kitchen where his family was waiting.

“So, are you and Soya back together?” his mother asked in a sing-song voice, handing him a mug of coffee.

Ville sighed. “We’re working on it mama, we’re working on it.”