Scream Me a Dream

Josef walked off stage, annoyed that Soya had left without even looking back at him. He knew that her missing those last two turns was going to eat her alive and he would find her in her rehearsal studio at two in the morning, practically killing herself to make the thirty pirouettes for tomorrow’s show.

“What the hell is wrong with Soya?!”

Josef looked over his shoulder where the female voice had come from to see the company’s co-owner, Rebecca Miller yelling at their stage manager Bill. Not finding Soya, he walked over to Rebecca to calm her down; knowing that after Bill her next target would be Soya herself.

“Rebecca.” He called over the chatter of all the other dancers who were still high off the adrenaline from the performance. Rebecca looked over at him, her sharp brown eyes glaring at him while her hair swung around her shoulders in an angry wave of dirty blonde.

“She missed two fucking turns, her timing was off Josef! Do you realize what that could do to the company?!”

Josef sighed, wishing he could get out of his tights and ballet shoes and into his sweats go home and sleep, instead he pushed the thought of sleeping away and focused on Rebecca. “One off night in the past eight years isn’t a bad thing Rebecca. That’s what this was, it was an off night.”

“An off night would be if she was off her timing the entire night, this was one big fucking mistake at the end of a two hour show!”

“I’ll talk to her Rebecca,” Josef said quickly, watching her eyes start scanning the area for Soya. “Go home love, sleep your anger off, I’ll talk to Soya, tomorrow will be better, I promise.”

Rebecca narrowed her eyes on him, her jaw clenched. “You tell Soya that I will be having a very long talk with her tomorrow, you understand me?”

“I’ve lived in America for ten years Rebecca, I understand you perfectly.”

“Don’t get smart with me Josef.” Rebecca hissed before she stormed away.

“Crisis averted huh?” Bill said with a weak smile.

Josef scoffed. “I wish, Rebecca is a light rain compared to the hurricane that’s about to hit.” he heard Bill laugh weakly before Josef scanned the crowd that was beginning to thin out. Just as one of the newer girls moved away, he saw Soya with her head bowed and her mother talking to her lowly.

“Fuck.” Josef sighed, running a hand over his face tiredly. He started towards them only to stop when he saw a very familiar dreadlocked male, followed by three other men coming through the backstage door. “Double fuck.” Josef growled detouring and making his way over to Soya’s friends.

“Josef right?” Linde asked with a polite smile.

“Yes, look, I need you four to wait right here.” He looked over and saw that they were in direct eye line of Elizabeth for when she turned around. The last thing Soya needed was a lecture on the company she kept, he heard that one when Soya had made friends with a scholarship student her first year at Juilliard. He looked over and saw a pillar that would be perfect for them to hide behind. “Actually,” he shepherded them over to the pillar, “I need you to stand here.”

“Who the fuck are you to tell us where to stand or to wait?” Bam asked with a growl.

“Bam calm down.” Ville muttered, though he raised an eyebrow in Josef’s direction as if waiting for a response.

Josef narrowed his gaze on Bam. “Look, I don’t care who you are, what you do for a living or how much money you make, this is my territory and you’ll do as I say.” Josef growled, not in the mood to deal with them, especially when he had Elizabeth to contend with, instead he turned to Linde, who he’d talked to before and trusted to be level headed. “I know you want to talk to Soya; I even understand your need to, but for her sake, stay here.”

Linde looked over and caught sight of Elizabeth. “You’ll come get us?” Linde asked.

Josef gave a breath of relief before nodding. “The minute it’s clear, I’ll come get you.” He gave them all a warning glare before walking over to Elizabeth and Soya.

“Josef!” Aida giggled as she rushed over and hugged his legs.

“Sweet little Aida!” Josef laughed swinging her up and settling the seven year old on his hip, truly happy to see her.

“Josef didn’t miss his turns Soya,” Elizabeth accused, apparently not letting up in her reprimand even in his presence.

“I know mamma.” Soya said quietly, her eyes trained on the ground in front of her feet.

“Elizabeth you have to admit, Soya danced beautifully tonight.” Josef tried, use to playing the mediator between the two. He looked over at Jonah Toivonen, somewhat surprised that he didn’t have his own two cents to add, though by the glazed look in his eyes, Josef had the feeling Jonah had taken his pain medication early.

Josef looked down at Aida, who opened her mouth and mimicked popping a pill into her mouth. Josef shook his head, it was sad that the seven-year-old knew that her father had quite the dependency problem.

“She was off on her timing throughout the show.” Elizabeth said shaking her head in disgust. “Missing those turns just proved to those critics that Soya is an amateur dancer even after eight years.”

Soya looked up at her mother with wide eyes as Josef winced. “I think that’s a bit harsh Elizabeth, her timing wasn’t off at all, in fact I found myself off on the timing a few times throughout the show.”

“That may be true Josef, but Soya’s mistakes are much more blatant then yours.”

“It’s impossible to have a perfect show every time,” Josef said kindly. “Even for the best of dancers.”

“Timing, I could forgive.” Elizabeth said, causing Josef to withhold his snort of disagreement. “But the turns, I can’t believe you Soya, twenty eight turns! What will the critics say?!”

“I highly doubt the critics knew how many turns I was supposed to do, mamma, let alone count them.” Soya said defending her actions for the first time since her mother started on her.

Elizabeth looked over at Josef, before looking back at her daughter, switching from the English they had been speaking in to Finnish, causing Josef to lose track of the conversation. Josef kept in the growl of frustration, Elizabeth only switched languages when she wanted to put down Soya without his interference.

Catching a few words, he narrowed his eyes, about ninety percent positive Elizabeth had just said the words ‘failure’ and ‘disgrace’, which caused Soya to look back at the ground. Josef saw the tears making her way down her cheek, which was enough to make him turn back to Elizabeth ready to stop her.

“Tarpeeksi.”(Enough) They all looked up to see Jonah rubbing his face tiredly. “That’s enough Elizabeth,” he said in English. “Soya is tired, we’ll leave her alone.”

“You have nothing to say Jonah?” Elizabeth said lowly, glaring at her husband.

He shook his head. “I’m tired Elizabeth, we are all tired. Tomorrow at breakfast you will be able to reprimand Soya all you want, but for now leave her be.”

Soya and Josef looked at Jonah wide eyed. “Papa?” Soya whispered.

“You danced beautifully tonight Soya.” He said with a slight nod, taking Aida out of Josef’s arms and walking away. “Let’s go Elizabeth, let Soya rest.”

“You have not heard the end of this Soya, do you understand me?”

Soya gave a nod. “Yes, mamma.” She said lowly, as Elizabeth walked away.

“Soya.” Josef said, touching her arm light, only to have her pull away.

“I…” Soya shook her head, turning on her heel and walking into her dressing room. Josef looked over his shoulder at the four men waiting, probably having heard much of that conversation seeing as the hallway had cleared out a lot more since he had walked away from them. Holding up a finger for them to wait, he walked into Soya’s dressing room, to find her sitting on the couch among her costumes, holding her head in her hands, her shoulders shaking as she cried silently.

“Soya.” Josef whispered sitting next to her and wrapping his arm around her shoulders.

“I don’t want your pity Josef.” Soya murmured once her sobs subsided shrugging his arm off her shoulders.

“You know you’ll get none from me Soya.” Josef reminded her just as quietly, he had learned fast that the last thing Soya ever wanted was pity. “The only thing you’ll get from me is comfort.”

“I don’t want your comfort either.” Soya said as she stood, sniffing and wiping her cheeks with the palms of her hands, before looking back at him. “I’m use to this Josef, no matter how well I dance, no matter how many hours of practice I put in, no matter how many friendships I put on hold; it will never be enough for her.”

Josef stared at her shaking his head. “You shouldn’t be use to this Soya, no one should be use to this type of abuse.”

“What abuse Josef?” Soya said giving a bitter laugh. “She believes it’s for my own good to tell me that I’m a disgrace to the family and you know what? It is.”

“How in the world is that good for you Soya? “ Josef argued. “I see what her comments do to you; I see how tired you are of having to take it. You are twenty-eight for god’s sake; you have to tell her to stop. I can’t keep saving you Soya.”

“Who asked you?!” She yelled.

Josef narrowed his eyes and stood, causing her to take a step back. “Don’t you dare speak to me like that Soya Eeva, I’ve been by your side for eight fucking years and you know very well that what I do is by my own choice, including mediating between you and your mother. Just as my opinions will be shared with you about the situation, as they always have been. You’re frustrated I understand that, but don’t you dare take it out on me.” He said with a growl before he left the room and slammed the door.

He looked over at the men who were waiting a lot closer to the door then before, and he knew they had heard every word. Shaking his head in disgust at the situation, he waved a hand towards the door. “She’s all yours.” He said angrily before he stormed off to his own dressing room.

The group stared at the blonde man as he went into another dressing room, slamming the door behind him, causing some of the dancers who lingered to stare at both doors before whispering to each other.

“Maybe we should wait.” Linde said quietly.

Before Ville could agree, prepared to leave his phone number on the program that was tucked into the inside pocket of his jacket, Bam reached over and knocked on the door. “Bam!” he hissed.

“You’ve all waited thirteen years to see her,” Bam shrugged. “Trust me; one night was going to hurt.”

The door swung open, reveling Soya looking down at her hands as she tied her robe. “Look, Josef if you’re here to yell at me some more, I can’t…” she trailed off once she looked up, her breathe catching at the sight of them. “Oh.”

“We were going to leave.” Mige said quickly, “But Bam knocked.”

“No!” she said opening the door wider. “No, no, no need to leave.” She gestured for them to come in and quickly wiped her eyes again, before closing the door behind Bam. She turned to face them and couldn’t fight the grin that appeared. The sight of Mige, Linde and Ville in front of her was definitely what she needed to end the night. Before she knew it, she was hugging Mige, laughing as she touched the full beard.

“Last I saw you; you were still trying to grow this out and failing.”

Mige laughed. “Well I’ve succeeded,” he leaned down and hugged her slight frame again. “I have missed you so much.” He whispered.

Soya closed her eyes and hugged Mige tighter, though he had been the last she would go to with any type of problem; he had always been there when no one else was around. He’d listen, he’d advise, he’d say ‘fuck it’ and had handed her, her first guitar telling her she should play out her frustration instead of bottling it in

She pulled away and kissed his cheek as he let her go pushing her towards Linde. She grinned at him as he grinned back, pulling her into another hug. “I know I just saw you,” she whispered in his ear as she wrapped her arms around his waist. “But I still can’t believe you’re here.”

Linde laughed quietly. “Do you need me to pinch you?”

“No!” she laughed, pulling away and touching one of his dreads, Linde had been the one she could always talk seriously too. She could always find her sense of calm with him, whether it be sitting in his car on her way to his garage from her dance practice or even at that moment, hugging him, he brought with him that calm that she so craved at times.

“Go, hug Ville.” Linde whispered loudly. “He might burst if you don’t.”

She looked over and bit her lip, her grey eyes catching his green, before she even realized she had moved, she was in his arms, hugging him tightly as he buried his face in her neck. That was when she felt the dam burst, the tears flowing freely from her eyes and onto his coat. She felt his hand slowly rub circles on her back as he whispered in her ear.

“Se on okei kulta, minä olen täällä.”(It’s ok sweetheart, I’m right here)

“Olen kaivannut sinua niin paljon.” (I’ve missed you so much) she said hoarsely as she tightened her grip on him, before pulling away.

He laughed quietly bringing his hands up to cup her cheeks, wiping her tears away with his thumbs. “Trust me kulta, I’ve missed you so much more.”

He had been thrumming with excitement when he saw the last curtain drop and had had to restrain himself from strangling Mige and Bam when they’d announced they’d needed to go to the bathroom once they’d hit the lobby. He had seen the gleam in Mige’s eyes and knew he’d been delaying them on purpose.

But now, holding her in his arms again he forgot about the fact that Mige had delayed them, he forgot about the scene he had witnessed with her and her mother, and he forgot about the thirteen years that had put their friendship on hold.

He stroked her cheeks, wiping the still falling tears away leaning down to kiss her forehead. “On niin hyvä nähdä sunua, rakastaa.”(“It’s so good to see you, love.) He whispered against her forehead.

Mige nudged Linde with a smirk. “Why is it she cries with Ville but not us?”

Linde rolled his eyes, “I always knew he was her favorite.”

And just like that the mood was broken as Soya laughed wiping her eyes with her palms. “Oh, I didn’t mean to cry.” She admitted laughing at herself.

“This is Bam, by the way,” Mige said.

“We met last night.” Bam said sticking out his hand.

Soya laughed as she shook it. “I told you I was a HIM fan before you even knew who they were.”

Bam rolled his eyes as the others looked at them oddly. “Whatever.” He muttered.

Soya rolled her own eyes, before she waved for them to take a seat. “Sit, sit, no need to be standing.” She said as she moved away from Ville to sit on her makeup chair, she brought her knee up to her chest as she was prone to sit when not around her parents and massaged her ankle absentmindedly, while she smiled at them.

“I’m still in shock that we’re all in the same room together.” Soya admitted.

“I’m in shock that you actually allowed us to watch you dance.” Mige teased.

Soya giggled, hiding her face in her knee before looking back at them. “Mige, I’m surprised you made it through the whole show.”

“Watching you dance is an entirely new art.” Linde said. “You were beautiful out there, I can’t believe this is the first time we’ve seen you.”

Soya shook her head as she thought about her mistake at the end of the night. “I was awful tonight.”

Linde frowned. “What’s got you so down Soya, you weren’t like this when I saw you at intermission.”

Soya laughed. “I forgot how observant you are Linde,”

“You weren’t awful at all Soya, the complete opposite really.” Ville said softly. “I’ve never seen you like that.”

Soya smiled softly. “I messed up during the last act, missed two turns.”

Bam raised an eyebrow. “You count the fucking turns you have to do?”

Soya nodded. “I have to, to keep in time with the music; I lost my balance and had to stop two counts before I had to, to keep from falling.”

“We didn’t notice at all.” Linde admitted.

Soya laughed. “I wouldn’t expect you too, but the critics are sure too and I’m positive my boss did.” As did her mother, she thought with a wince. “But I don’t want to talk about the show tonight.” She said with a quick shake of her head.

“Then what do you want to talk about?” Ville teased.

“You!” she laughed. “Linde’s a father now!” she giggled, as Linde grinned.

“She’s seven, she’s wonderful,” Linde laughed. “She’s perfect,”

“I bet.” Soya laughed.

“And you?” Mige asked as Ville leaned back on the couch, keeping his eyes on Soya. She was still as beautiful as the night he had last seen her. Her face glistening with sweat and her hair high on her head in a messy bun, the white robe cinched at her waist though he could see the flesh tone leotard peeking out from underneath. He couldn’t believe he had forgotten how enchanting she was.

“What about me?” Soya asked with a raised brow in confusion.

“Any children, any significant other?” Mige asked with a smirk.

“No, no children for me. As for a significant other…” she laughed as she thought of Josef. “It’s very complicated.”

Linde frowned. “You and Josef?”

“Who’s Josef?” Ville asked, ignoring the racing of his blood.

“He’s my dance partner, he played the prince. He’s the one that left the room a few minutes ago in a bout of anger.”

“You’re with him?” Bam asked. “What happened to not shitting where you eat?”

“I’m sorry?” Soya asked with a frown.

Ville laughed. “He’s surprised that you would get involved with a co-worker.”

Soya laughed again. “Like I said, my relationship with Josef is very complicated.”

“Indeed it is.”

They looked up to see Josef standing at the door, wearing grey sweatpants and a white undershirt carrying a black sports bag over his shoulder.

Soya rolled her eyes turning away from him. “It’s called knocking, Josef.”

Josef scoffed as he walked further into the room. “I’ve never knocked before, I’m not going to start now because we’ve had a tiff.”

“It’s more than a tiff.” Soya muttered under her breath.

Josef rolled his eyes. “I’m your ride home, so are you coming or staying?”

“I’ll get a cab.” Soya said still not looking at him.

“Right, like I’m going to let you take a cab home Soya.”

“We’ll take her.” Ville said quickly.

Soya shook her head. “You don’t have to Ville; I’m fine with a cab.”

Josef shook his own head. “You’ll come with me or you’ll go with them, I don’t trust cab drivers this time of night.”

Soya stood and glared at Josef. “You’re not my father Josef, stop treating me like a child.”

“Thank god for that.” Josef muttered under his breath, Soya started for him, only to grab onto her chair quickly when her ankle buckled underneath her. Her wide eyes met Josef’s angry ones as he dropped his bag and pushed her back into her seat with a glare.

“Hey!” Linde said standing. “Don’t manhandle her.”

“It’s fine,” Soya said with a sigh as she watched Josef pull down her legging, growling under his breath when he saw the swelling on her ankle.

“Já to kurva vĕdĕl!”(I fucking knew it) he said pushing her leg away in disgust, “Take care of that fucking ankle Soya, you’re of no use to me otherwise.” Josef growled harshly, picking up his bag and leaving the room, slamming it shut once again.