Scream Me a Dream

“You would make a wonderful mother Soya.”

Soya blinked and looked up from her spot on the floor to see the quiet Mila, sliding onto the floor to sit next to her and running her fingers through her son’s hair as he lay on the floor on a pile of blankets his uncles had grabbed from the bedrooms.

“Oh, I don’t know about that Mila.” Soya admitted.

“You’ve never thought about having children?” Mila asked.

Soya shrugged looking over at the rest of the family as they talked in the dining room, finishing their coffee and dessert. Dinner had consisted of only the Kolar children, their parents and Soya; while most of the conversation had consisted of Soya and Josef catching Ivana and Krištof up on the last couple of months, the rest of the conversation had been Johan and Július poking fun of Josef’s career as a dancer.

Soya had escaped, volunteering to put Mika to bed, but hadn’t realized how long she’d been away, she looked over at Mila, who was waiting for her answer.

“With who?” Soya asked, a bit of bitterness in her voice.

“What about your rockstar?” Mila asked innocently.

“I’m not even dating Ville.” Soya said. “And even if I was, it would take years for us to get used to our schedules and careers that I don’t know if children would even be in the picture. It’s a bit early to think of children with him Mila.”

Mila shrugged. “When I met Aldous I saw children in my future with him. When Július met Sophia, he swore he saw himself growing old with her and seeing his grandchildren playing in their backyard, and when Johana met Georg…”

“And when Johan met Lenka, I get it; you all saw children and a future together.” Soya finished.

Mila blinked. “You don’t see that with Ville?”

Soya shrugged again, avoiding Mila’s gaze and looking down at a sleeping Mika, “I don’t know what I see.”

“Then maybe you should open your eyes.” Mila teased, nudging Soya’s shoulder with her own. “Love isn’t meant to be taken so seriously Soya.”

“Isn’t it?”

“Of course not.” Mila laughed. “Do you think I would be this far in my life had I over thought my relationship with Aldy?”

Soya shrugged. “I don’t know.”

“You and I, Soya we’re very much alike.” Mila said. “We’re both quiet and shy, overanalyze everything.”

Soya nodded in agreement. “When Josef and I stopped bickering long enough, he admitted that I reminded him a lot of you. I think it’s why he ended up staying around.”

Mila gave a quiet giggle. “Probably, though Josef likes you for you, not because he’s reminded of me. As I was saying, we’re very much alike Soya, and because of that, you should listen when I say, don’t over think the relationship you’re about to get into.”

Soya sighed. “Why is it that everyone feels the need to give their opinion on a relationship that has yet to exist?”

Mila laughed and wrapped her arms around Soya, leaning her chin on Soya’s shoulder. “Protože my mulujeme vás, sestřičko, a chci, abys byla št’astná.”(Because we love you little sister, and want to see you happy.)

Soya laughed. “You are so lucky that all that is within my Czech vocabulary.”

Mila laughed. “We do want to see you happy Soya, just as we wish Josef happiness in any relationship he forms. Is he happy with this…Russell?”

Soya nodded. “He seems to be. I’ve never seen him take to a relationship as he has with Russell, and Russell seems to be good for Josef. He’s less ornery after spending time with Russell, so I benefit from it.”

Mila giggled. “Then I’m happy, just…stop thinking Soya.”

Soya laughed. “I’ll try.”

“That’s all we ask.”

“Johan and I are leaving Mila, if you need a ride home?” Július asked, looking over at the dining room. “Some of us have real jobs to get to in the morning.”

Soya raised an eyebrow as she looked at Július. “Are you saying that my job isn’t real or worthy as your job Július…what is it you do again?”

Mila laughed. “He give tours.”

“And he sets up bar fights for the college kids that make their way up here, don’t you big brother?” Johana teased, flopping down on the couch.

“Hey!” Johan defended. “At least those kids have a good story to take home with them.”

“And a black eye!” Mila said in disbelief.

“Our careers as dancers, Július, are just as worthy as your job as a tour guide.” Soya told him.

“I would love to see you do for two hours what I do year round.” Josef said from behind his brothers. “Both of you.”

Soya smirked. “Július, I believe you owe me.”

“Soya,” Július warned, “I believe my favor can be used in much better ways than what you’re thinking.”

Soya laughed. “I’ve just been advised to stop thinking, so what does your schedule look like tomorrow, both of yours?” Soya asked, looking pointedly at Johan.

“How the hell did I get into this?” Johan asked in disbelief.

“They’re both free around two in the afternoon, Soya.” Johana said.

“Wonderful,” Soya said, smiling at both men who were looking at her in disbelief. “I believe you both have an appointment with your little brother tomorrow, he’ll be teaching you both the basics of Ballet.”

Josef laughed. “Oh Soya, this is the best present you could ever give me.”

“Soya, think this over.” Július said.

“As I’ve said, I have stopped thinking, and you owe me Július.”

Július sighed and nodded. “Fine.”

“Wonderful!” Soya grinned. “Josef and I will take care of the wardrobe for tomorrow, but be sure to get there on time. Josef is a stickler for punctuality.”

“I really, really am.” Josef grinned evilly at his older brothers. “Bet you’re regretting the wedgie you gave me earlier, aren’t you?”

“We’ll be there.” Július said glaring at Josef, before softening his gaze as he turned to his younger sister. “Mila, do you need a ride?”

“Yes, please. Let me go grab Mika’s things.” Mila said, getting up from the floor and going to her father’s office to get her son’s bag.

“Josef, you brought your video camera, didn’t you?” Soya asked.

Josef grinned. “I did.”

“You’re a right bastard Josef.” Johan said, crossing his arms over his chest. “And you,” he said looking over at Soya. “Egging him on.”

“I’m egging him on?” Soya asked in disbelief. “I’m sorry, weren’t you the one aiming for his head with a soccer ball earlier?”

“You know,” Július said, with a proud grin. “You really are a Kolar.”

Soya rolled her eyes as she carefully picked Mika up from the ground without waking him, something she had practice doing with Impi, as she passed him off to Mila. “I don’t know whether that’s a good thing or a bad thing.”

“Take it as a good thing.” Johana laughed, before standing up herself to go and hug Soya. “I’m off as well, have to get back to Georg, the man can’t survive long without me there to tame the children.”

Soya laughed. “I’ll see you tomorrow, I’m sure you’ll be at the studio to see Július and Johan’s humiliation.”

“Like I would really miss that.” Johana laughed.

Once goodbyes were said, the siblings left, leaving Josef and Soya sitting on the living room floor, while Josef’s mother and father cleaned the kitchen as they did every night, briefing each other on their days. They claimed that with five children running around the house all day and night, cleaning the kitchen was the only solace they could find together before the retired for the night.

“Tired?” Josef asked as Soya leaned her head on Josef’s shoulder.

“A bit.” Soya yawned.

“Go to bed, miláček.” Josef told her, kissing the top of her head. “My parents will understand if you want to go to sleep.”

“I can stay up a bit longer.” Soya argued.

“If you’re planning to stay up late just to chat with us,” Ivana started as she and Krištof walked into the living room. “I refuse to let you. Go to sleep Soya, you can barely keep your head up.”

Soya sighed. “There’s no use arguing, is there?”

“Never any use arguing with Ivana Kolar.” Krištof teased, taking a seat on the couch next to them. “Go on Soya, you’ll be here for the next week in a half, lets us have some time with our son.”

Soya laughed. “All right, you’ve convinced me.” She said her goodnights before heading up the stairs to change and go to bed, though Josef had a feeling she was going to give Ville one last call before she went to sleep.

Sure enough, after talking to his parents late into the night, he found Soya sleeping with her cell phone open near her ear. Picking it up carefully as to not wake Soya, he put his ear to phone only to shake his head in amusement when he heard Ville’s even breathing on the other end, signaling the man was asleep as well.

“Freaks, both of you.” Josef muttered as he shut Soya’s phone, hanging up the call, before pulling on his sleep pants and crawling into bed next to Soya and turning his back to her, falling asleep easily.

XxxxxxX

Wednesday July 28, 2010
Prague, Czech Republic
4:59 am

“Oh my god! Answer the phone!” Soya groaned, pulling the pillow over her head and crawling deeper into the covers trying to drown out the ringing phone. Josef groaned and reached over on the nightstand grabbing his cell phone and bringing it to his ear.

“What?” he snapped.

“I’ve lined up an interview.”

Josef frowned, his sleep-addled mind not quiet recognizing the voice. “Who the fuck is this?”

“Rebecca!”Rebecca said shrilly, causing Josef to wince.

“Do you have any idea what time it is here?” Josef asked, knowing that Rebecca knew that both he and Soya had taken off to Prague, as he’d had to practically beg the woman to let him leave while his company was in the midst of their recital.

“What like nine? Ten?”

“Five Rebecca! It’s five in the fucking morning! I went to bed three hours ago!”

“Well both you and Soya have an interview with ‘Dance Evropa časopis’ at noon.”

“Stop, just stop butchering my language.” Josef said with a wince. “It’s not even said in Czech, it’s English, ‘Dance Europe Magazine’ and Soya and I left New York to get away from work Rebecca.”

“Yes, well I’ve lined up this interview. Just because you’re not dancing doesn’t mean I’m going to let you to sit on your ass.”

“Sit on my ass?” Josef asked. “Rebecca I’ve been working my ass off to get your dancers in top shape for a fucking recital.”

“Yes and Soya…”

“Soya’s been teaching!” Josef said with a growl. “We both have lives outside of the company Rebecca.”

“And you can continue with those lives once you do this interview. It’s at noon, I’ll text you the address.”

“Bitch.” Josef muttered, hanging up the phone not bothering to confirm or argue with Rebecca. Rubbing his eyes, he looked over at Soya who was still sleeping her pillow still over her head, not bothering to wake her up, knowing that this was probably the first full night Soya had actually slept. Leaving the room, he padded to the linen closet, grabbing a towel before heading to the bathroom in the hall to take a shower.

Once showered, feeling better since oddly he hadn’t bothered to shower after the plane ride, he went back to his room, careful to keep quiet as he changed into a pair of loose blue jeans, a grey t-shirt and a pair of flip flops, knowing that if he wore anything heavier, he’d be dying in the European heat. Running a hand through his hair, he decided to leave it as it was; knowing there was no use in putting hair gel in his short blonde hair, before grabbing his sunglasses and leaving the room.

Soya didn’t take long to get ready, so he figured he could wake her at least an hour and a half before they were due, so she could shower and change. Going down to the kitchen, he wasn’t surprised to see his mother already there, sipping on coffee and reading the morning paper at the kitchen counter.

“Ranní mama.” He greeted kissing her cheek. (Morning mama)

“Ranní chlapeček, you’re up early.”(Morning baby boy)

“Mmm, Rebecca the bitch called.”

“Language Josef Radik.” Ivana warned, causing Josef to grin as he poured himself coffee and grabbed a warm muffin from where they sat in a basket next to the stove.

“Sorry mum. Anyway, Rebecca lined up an interview with ‘Dance Europe’ with Soya and I at noon.”

“I thought you were on vacation?” Ivana asked.

Josef snorted as he settled down across from his mother. “We are, but apparently we’re not being paid to be sitting on our ass, Rebecca’s words, not mine.”

“Hmm. So you have an interview?”

Josef shrugged. “Nothing huge, I don’t even know the questions that’ll be asked.” He admitted, looking through the sections of the paper his mother discarded, taking note that she had yet to read the ‘Arts and Leisure’ section, which was what he was looking for. Sighing, he picked at his muffin and eyed his mother from the corner of his eye.

He was twenty-nine, nearly thirty, and he had been living his own life in New York since the moment he’d begged his mother to send him to Juilliard at sixteen. He never knew why he had been able to admit to his brothers and sisters so easily about his sexual orientation, but to his mother and father, he kept that part of himself hidden. They’d never given him any indication that they would judge him for his lifestyle choice; but much like Soya, a part of him just didn’t want to disappoint his parents.

He popped a piece of muffin into his mouth. He was happy with his life and secure in his relationship with Russell, there was no reason for him to hide behind some fake relationship with Soya anymore. Anyway, once she stepped foot in Finland, whether she wanted it or not, her relationship with Ville would be publicized the minute they were caught holding hands down the streets of Helsinki. Soya needed happiness in her life, and frankly so did he.

“Mum?” he asked, looking up from his muffin when he heard the paper rustle.

“Hmm?”

“Can I talk to you about something?”

Ivana looked over the paper, her reading glasses slipping down her nose. “Of course chlapeček, you can talk to me about anything.” She said, though she propped the paper back up to continue reading her article.

“Mama, this is serious.” Josef said, putting his hand lightly on the top of the paper to push it down.

Ivana frowned at him, but gave a nod, folding the paper closed and pushing it aside, placing her glasses on top of it. “All right, you have my full attention.”

Josef looked back down at his muffin, picking at the top again, before looking back up to meet his mother’s light blue eyes. “You want me to be happy, right?”

Ivana smiled at him. “Of course! I want all my children happy!”

“What if I told you…being with Soya isn’t making me happy?”

Ivana blinked, “Have you and Soya broken up Josef?”

Josef sighed. “Soya and I…” he trailed off thinking about his words carefully before saying them. “We were never together mum.”

Ivana raised an eyebrow before nodding slowly. “All right.”

“I, um…I don’t…” Josef sighed. “I don’t like women in that way.” He said even more carefully gauging his mother’s reaction. “I…um…I like…”

“Men.” Ivana finished with a smile, causing Josef to blink in surprise.

“What?”

“You like men.” Ivana stated.

“I…yes…yes. I like men.” Josef nodded.

Ivana smirked, and laid her chin in her propped up hand. “Your father owes me a hundred Euros.”

Josef blinked again, staring at his mother in disbelief. “Excuse me?”

“Oh Josef, you tried so hard to hide this part of yourself and for what? To make your father and I happy?” Ivana snorted. “Your father and I are only happy when our children are happy. We’ve always known you were gay, chlapeček.”

“You did?” Josef asked dumbfounded. “But…how?”

“You always took in interest more in Johana and Mila’s boyfriends than you did in Julius’s and Johan’s girlfriends.” Ivana gave a little snort of laughter. “And you let your eyes wander, just as your sisters did when a cute boy would pass by. Why did you never tell us?”

Josef shrugged. “I don’t know, I wanted to, I was going to.” Josef admitted. “But then everything with Soya just got blown out of proportion and you seemed so pleased with the idea that we were dating when Elizabeth told you, I guess I just didn’t want to burst that bubble. I didn’t want to be the only Kolar to not give you grandchildren.”

Ivana rolled her eyes. “Grandchildren don’t make a family Josef, and it’s not what makes us proud of you; what you do with your life, how you live it, that’s what makes us proud of you. Being our son, makes us proud of you Josef, never who you’re with or what you’re able to give us. Yes, our grandchildren are the light of our life now, but that’s because it makes your brothers and sisters so happy. If a relationship with a man is what makes you happy Josef, then damnmit, we’re going to be happy with you.”

“But what about the whole thing with Soya? You and Elizabeth practically planned a wedding!” Josef pointed out, having overheard many conversations with her mother and Elizabeth, the main topic being his relationship with Soya.

Ivana sighed. “The minute I met Soya, she seemed so lost, so fragile. You saw it too, didn’t you?”

Josef snorted. “Really, the first time I met her, I just saw a girl who claimed to be better than me, she was feisty and determined, I couldn’t help but be pulled to her.” Josef thought about it. “But the more time I spent with her, yes I saw that she was someone to be careful with.”

Ivana nodded slowly. “You were protecting her, weren’t you? Protecting her from her parents when you went along with the idea of you being in a relationship?”

Josef shrugged. “It was a win-win for both of us. Her parents stopped setting her up with boys she didn’t like and I hid a part of myself I was afraid you wouldn’t want to see. It was…safe.” He said using the word Soya always used to describe their relationship.

“Elizabeth is…a tenacious woman Josef.” Ivana shook her head. “I didn’t want to cause problems for Soya, by telling her mother that my son was in fact gay and had no intention of ever marrying her daughter.”

Josef swallowed. “You were protecting her too.”

“I figured that eventually everything would come to light, so I decided to wait it out instead of confronting you like I had intended. Chlapeček, you seemed happy with the arrangement, I had no idea about the extent of it and didn’t want to ruin it. I figured you would tell us in your own way and your own time.”

“I’m sorry I waited so long.”

“Nothing to be sorry for. Your father bet you wouldn’t tell us until after your thirtieth birthday, I knew you’d do it before, so thank you for your timing.”

Josef laughed. “I don’t know whether to be upset or amused that you and dad bet on when I would come out.”

“Be amused Josef.” Ivana smiled. “Now, why have you decided that today of all days would be perfect to tell me you were gay?”

Josef shrugged. “I’m…in a really good relationship right now.” He admitted. “Really good, I don’t know if it’s a forever type relationship, but he makes me feel loved.” Josef admitted.

“I’m happy for you Josef.” Ivana said, carefully wiping under her eyes as she felt the tears pool. “So very happy for you.”

Josef smiled lightly. “I’d like for you to meet him Mum.”

“And we would love to meet him.” Ivana bit her lip. “What of Soya Josef?”

Josef smiled. “She’s…” he sighed. “She’s being stubborn, but she’s sort of in a relationship with someone, an old friend of hers from Finland.” He said, knowing that his mother wouldn’t know the significance of Josef telling her the friend was Ville. “It’s the reason she’s leaving before I am, so they can talk out their relationship, they both live hectic lives.”

“Does he travel as well?” Ivana asked.

“Extensively.” Josef nodded. “But both their schedules have aligned, allowing them to spend some time together to work out the…kinks.” Josef smirked. “But I have faith that Soya will find happiness with him.”

Ivana nodded. “I’m glad to hear that.”

Josef smirked. “I went up to the room last night, and found her sleeping with the phone next to her ear, I went to hang it up and he was on the other end breathing, sleeping. They can’t sleep without at least talking to each other.”

Ivana laughed, only to shake her head. “I really do hope Soya lets him in, I see her happier now than I did the last time I was in New York.”

“She is.” Josef nodded.

“As are you.” Ivana said, patting her son’s hand.

“I am.” Josef agreed.

“Je snídanĕ připraven?”(Is breakfast ready?)

They both turned to see Krištof, in his suit and tie, ready for work, walking into the kitchen, kissing the top of his son’s head, before kissing his wife on the lips.

“Ranní, miláček.” He greeted.

“Ranní.” Ivana greeted back, before looking at Josef for permission to tell her husband what Josef had just shared. At his nod, she turned back to her husband who was pouring coffee into his traveler’s mug. “You owe me a hundred Euros.”

Krištof chuckled. “Do I?”

“Mmm, you said Josef wouldn’t come out to us until he was thirty.”

Krištof paused and looked over at Josef, who was giving him a small smile before looking at his wife who was grinning. Shaking his head, he put the lid on his mug and grabbed a muffin before going over to Josef. “You couldn’t have waited until January to tell us boy?”

Josef shrugged, though he grinned when he was the teasing in his father’s eyes. “Sorry to disappoint.”

Krištof shrugged. “I guess your happiness is worth more than the lousy hundred Euros.” He kissed Josef’s forehead. “Jsme hrdí na vás bez ohledu na to, co.”(We’re proud of you, no matter what)

“Dĕkujeme vám táta.” Josef whispered. (Thank you dad)

“Hmm, now I have to get to work, I’ve heard your brothers are going to pay a visit to the dance studio later today?”

Josef nodded. “Yes, they are.”

Krištof smirked. “I want video Josef. I want to see those boys suffer, do you understand me?”

Josef laughed. “That won’t be a problem.”

“Wonderful. Now, I’ll see you later, have a good day miláček.”

“I will.” Both Josef and Ivana said, causing them to laugh and Krištof to roll his eyes before he left the house.

“Now, I’ve looked at my broken door.” Ivana said, causing Josef to stiffen, “And there is no possible way Soya could have broken that door with how close she was to it. So….who really did it?” Ivan smirked.

“I have no idea Mum, I wasn’t looking that way when it happened.” Josef shrugged with a grin.

“Ah, so it was one of the others.” Ivana nodded knowingly, knowing that her children always used the excuse of having not seen a thing when one of their siblings did something wrong. “I will find out Josef.”

Josef smirked. “I have no doubt that you will Mum.”

His mother smiled at him, and he couldn’t help but give a happy sigh, feeling like the weight of the world was now off his shoulders. He could only hope that with Soya going to Finland in nine days time, that she would ultimately feel the same way.