Scream Me a Dream

Soya couldn’t believe she was actually pulling into her childhood home to find comfort. Thirteen years ago she would have ran away from her home to find comfort in Ville, now she was running from Ville to find comfort in her childhood home. What the hell was wrong with this picture? She thought, pulling in front of the three car garage door and putting the car in park, sitting in the warmth of her car for a minute.

She really couldn’t believe the turn of events; during the thirty minute drive she’d nearly turned around four times to go back to her flat to talk things out with Ville, but then she reminded herself that she was angry and she was angry for a reason. Running didn’t solve anything, but at the moment, getting away from the argument made her feel better.

Pulling her keys from the ignition, she pulled her coat closer around her body and started out of the cold, wincing when the cold of the ground seeped in through her slippers.

“Wonderful.” She muttered to herself as she closed her door quietly and looked around the driveway. “Now what?” she sighed. Obviously she couldn’t go inside as her mother was sleeping in there, but she quite literally had nowhere else to go but to her flat. Sighing, she bit her lip and moved around the back of the house, making it to the backyard, eyeing the swing set her father had gotten put up for Aida last month.

Walking towards it, she unchained the swing and sat in the seat, pushing the seat lightly as she sat in the cold, trying to figure out where she had gone wrong earlier.

XxxxxxX

Jonah frowned when he saw a movement come from the backyard, sitting up from the couch and turning away from the TV that was mounted above the burning fireplace, he moved off the couch towards the doors to scan the backyard only to see someone sitting on his youngest daughter’s swing set.

Placing his feet in his slippers by the door and pulling on his robe, he opened the back door, frowning at the figure. “Soya?”

Her head whipped up, giving him a clear view of his eldest daughter, looking at him wide eyed.

“Soya, what in the world…get in the damn house!” Jonah reprimanded, causing Soya to rush off the swing and across the yard, sliding past him to get in the house. “It’s freezing outside and you’re sitting out there as if it were the middle of summer! What in the world were you thinking?” Jonah said, shuffling her over to the fireplace and grabbing the throw blanket he had been using off the couch, covering a shivering Soya as she sat down next to the fire.

“That I didn’t want to wake anyone up.” Soya admitted as her teeth clattered together.

“You didn’t want your mother to catch you is more like it.” Jonah told her, walking over to the small bar and looking through his liquors.

“I thought you didn’t drink.” Soya said as she watched him.

“I don’t.” Jonah told her picking up the decanter of brandy and pouring it into a double old fashioned glass, before taking it to Soya. “Brandy; to warm you up a bit.”

“I don’t drink.”

“It’s not going to get you drunk Soya, and if you have my tolerance it won’t even get you tipsy. Go on, take a sip.”

Soya did as she was told; wincing slightly at the burn, but definitely feeling the warmth of the brandy as it slid down her throat. “Thank you.”

Jonah nodded as he settled on the antique coffee table and watched her. “What are you doing here?”

Soya shrugged. “I’m not even sure; I was outside trying to figure out why I drove out here.”

Jonah chuckled. “I meant, why aren’t you at home with your boyfriend, sleeping?”

“Oh.” Soya said, taking another sip of the brandy. “We got into a fight.”

“And you came here?” Jonah asked shocked.

“Trust me, the same emotion has been going through my mind as well.” Soya said with a sigh. “I just needed to get out of the flat.”

“What did you and Ville fight about, if you don’t mind me asking?”

Soya averted her gaze and brought the glass back to her lips as she decided that talking about how her boyfriend masturbating hurt her feelings was definitely not a father daughter topic, no matter how well their relationship had been going.

“You’re not going to tell me.”

“I’d rather not.” Soya said, looking back at her father, causing him to chuckle.

“But it was bad enough for you to drive here to get away from it.”

Soya shrugged. “Pretty much.”

Jonah sighed as he watched his daughter, really even in the body of a twenty-eight year old, Soya still had the reflexes and reactions of a child: run from confrontation, never face it head on. It was his own fault for Soya having that instilled in her.

“You know, running from a fight is never a good idea.”

“But-”

“No matter what it’s about.” Jonah said. “I’ve seen the way you both look at each other, and I’m sure this fight is nothing short of a petty argument that will be over and done with the next time you see each other.”

Soya shrugged. “Maybe.”

“Soya, I’m sure tempers were high, things were shouted, but…I’m assuming this is your first argument.”

“Yes.” Soya said slowly, looking at her father.

“Trust me when I say it’ll be over soon, you both just need to cool down and talk it out, this is usually best done when both people are in the same room, but this is fine too.” Jonah teased.

Soya sighed. “I may have overreacted.”

“As most do.” Jonah nodded.

“But Ville was just as much in the wrong as I was.” Soya said with a frown.

“I’m sure he was.” Jonah placated, taking the glass out of Soya’s hand after noticing her grip on it. “It still doesn’t mean you should run from confrontation Soya, what’s the worst that can happen if you were to stay and argue?” Soya raised an eyebrow, causing Jonah to roll his eyes. “All right, me asking the question isn’t the best example.”

“I know what you mean though.”

“Things are going to be said, Soya and things will be shouted, but would you really keep those things bottled inside you for the rest of your relationship with him? That’s a fast way to become resentful of your partner.”

Soya bit her lip. “I guess.”

“There’s no pause button in life Soya, just because you walk away from an argument doesn’t mean it’s not still there when you walk back to it. There’s also no fast forward button to speed up the fight and as I’m quickly learning, there’s no rewind button to relive the good moments.”

Soya blinked at her father. “I know.” She said softly.

“Every moment you have with Ville, Soya, should be cherished, even if it is an argument you never know what may come out of it. What’s to say something amazing wouldn’t have happened had you stayed and argued?”

Soya shrugged. “I guess I never saw it that way.”

“Most don’t.” Jonah chuckled. “Come let’s get you to your bed.”

“No.” Soya said shaking her head and standing shrugging the blanket off. “I think I’ll head home.”

“No, it’s too late for you to make the drive back to Helsinki, I would feel better if you took to your bed tonight and drive back in the morning.” Jonah said, turning off the television and walking out of the living room.

Soya bit her lip, before giving a nod. “All right.” She said, following her father out of the living room and towards the stairs. “Where’s mamma?” Soya asked quietly.

“Sleeping.” Jonah said with a shrug, Soya gave a quiet squeak causing her father to laugh. “You’re the one that came here Soya, knowing your mother was home, and you also know that nothing could wake your mother.”

“True.” Soya said, biting her lip as she walked into her old bedroom. “What are you doing up this late?”

“I couldn’t sleep, and your mother hates it when I turn the TV on in our bedroom.”

“Ah.”

“Sleep Soya, I’ll have Niina wake you up before your mother gets up so you can go back home.”

“Thank you.” Soya said sitting on her bed and looking at her father. “Really, thank you.”

Jonah nodded. “You’re very welcome Soya. Now sleep.”

Soya gave a quiet laugh. “I will.” She watched as her father quietly shut her door, before she settled on top of her bed, biting her lip as she looked around. Everything was where she had left it thirteen years ago. Everything.

Shaking her head, she pushed the covers back and laid her head on her pillows, before pulling the covers over her body and closing her eyes, attempting to sleep. She felt like she’d gotten five minutes of sleep with all the tossing and turning she’d done, before Niina had come into the room, waking her gently.

“It’s time Miss. Soya, your mother wakes up in a half an hour.”

Soya nodded, rubbing her eyes as she got out of bed. “Thank you, Niina.”

“Of course Miss.” Niina nodded looking around the room. “Looks the same.”

“It does.” Soya nodded, pulling on her slippers and grabbing her jacket.

“We miss you around here, you know.” Niina smiled, handing Soya her small clutch. “I hope to see you around again.”

Soya smiled back at her nanny. “Ah Niina, I wish I could, but if my mother sees me, I’m sure my little vacation will quickly become stress filled, but I’ll try. Just for you.” She laughed, kissing the woman’s cheek. “I miss you as well.”

“Always such a good girl.” Niina said patting the top of Soya’s head, a gesture that was quite common when Soya had been younger, causing Soya to laugh as she followed Niina out of the room and down the stairs.

“Say good morning to Aida for me.” Soya said, opening the front door and pulling her jacket tighter around her body.

“I will, now go, before you catch a cold standing out here.”

Soya nodded as she rushed towards her car, her slippers not protecting her feet at all against the cold concrete, and slipping into the seat. She started the car, turning on her heater before starting back towards Helsinki. Half an hour later, she was unlocking the door to her flat only to squeal in surprise when she felt Ville’s arms wrap around her in a hug.

“Where the hell have you been?” Ville asked, pulling her away at arm’s length to stare at her.

“In Sipoo.” Soya said slowly, looking at him. “I thought we were mad at each other.”

“We are!” Vile said, pulling her back to him. “But you had me worried sick Soya, what the hell were you doing in Sipoo?”

“I…I don’t know, I just ended up there.” Soya admitted. “My father ended up making me stay the night as he didn’t want me driving back so late.”

“Didn’t you get my calls?”Ville asked, letting her go to stare at her.

“I must have missed them, I’m sorry Ville, I didn’t mean to make you worry, I should have texted, I just…wasn’t thinking, it won’t happen again.”

“Let’s just go to bed Soya,” Ville said taking her hand.

“But-”

“We’re still arguing.” Ville assured, “But between not being able to sleep with you gone and worrying I’m tired as hell, come on, we’ll argue more in a couple of hours.”

Soya nodded, slipping off her jacket and laying it on the couch before following Ville into the bedroom, only to frown. “Where’s my comforter?”

Ville sighed as he ran a hand through his hair. “You said you didn’t want me in the bedroom when you got back, so I was in the living room.”

“Oh Ville.” Soya said hugging his waist. “I’m sorry.”

“About making me sleep in the living room or the argument itself?” Ville asked with a raised eyebrow as he looked down at her.

Soya sighed, chewing on her lip. “All of it really, though I still think I was right.”

Ville chuckled, kissing the top of her head. “Yes, we will definitely talk about this more once we’ve gotten more sleep, come on.”

Soya followed Ville to the bed, as he pulled down the blankets letting her crawl in, before he followed suit, wrapping his arms around Soya, shaking his head. “Do me a favor?”

“Hmm?” Soya asked, looking up at him.

“Next time you decide to walk off during an argument give me some clue as to where you’ll be.”

Soya blinked at him, before leaning up and kissing him softly. “I promise, no more walking off.”

“Good.” Ville whispered, tightening his grip before falling into an easy sleep, Soya following suit quickly.

It was nearing noon when Vile opened his eyes again, only to sit up straight when he didn’t feel or see Soya laying next to him. Rubbing his face tiredly, he wondered if he dreamt her coming back, only for the worry that was slowly creeping back into his gut to be doused when he heard clattering outside the room.

Getting out of bed, he went to the closet, pulling out a grey long sleeved shirt and pulling it on before leaving the room and following the sounds. He found Soya in the kitchen, moving around as she held the phone to her ear, nodding at whatever the speaker was saying.

He leaned against the door jamb, watching her as she leaned her elbows on the counter in her flannel pajama bottoms and his ‘Hanoi Rocks’ shirt, her hair pulled away from her face as she scribbled on a notepad, nodding. He tilted his head in amusement as he watched her feet, going from flat on the floor to the tips of her toes, then back down again.

“No kuinka aljon se tulee maksamaan minulle?”(Well how much is that going to cost me?) She asked staring at her notepad with a frown. “Uh-huh, tarkoittaako se, että emme voi työskennellä siellä?”(Does that mean we can’t work in there?)

Her studio, Ville thought as he watched her work, the frown deepening as she listened on the other end, only to nod. “No, haluisin nähdä mitä tarkoitat ennen kuin teen mitään päätöksiä.” (Well, I’d like to see what you mean before I make any decisions.) She nodded quickly as she straightened. “Kyllä, huomenna on täydellinen.”(Yes, tomorrow is perfect) she said before bidding the caller goodbye and shaking her head as she put the phone back in its cradle and frowned over her notebook.

“You seem deep in thought.” Ville stated, watching as she jumped in surprise and turned to him.

“I didn’t wake you, did I?” Soya asked, leaning her back against the counter.

“No, who was on the phone?”

“The contractor working on the studio.” Soya said with a shrug. “Hungry?”

“A bit.” Ville said slowly.

“Great, I have breakfast outside, I was just waiting for the coffee before I went and woke you.” She looked over at the thermal carafe that sat in her coffee maker. “It looks ready, want to go outside and eat?”

Ville narrowed his eyes at her suspiciously “Did you make breakfast as a way to apologize?”

“Why do you assume I’m the one that has to do the apologizing?” Soya asked, taking the carafe and grabbing two mugs.

“Because you were wrong?” Ville said with a frown as he followed her out of the kitchen and into the dining room where the French doors were already open.

“Hasn’t anyone ever told you that telling a woman she’s wrong is dangerous to your health?”

“Did Rosalind tell you that?” Ville asked with a raised eyebrow as he settled on one of the chairs, sitting at the circular iron table that was on Soya’s balcony.

“Josef, actually.” Soya said with a smirk as she handed him a bowl of porridge and some toast with jam.

“Thanks.” Ville said, picking up his spoon and spinning the butter into his porridge, watching Soya pour him coffee, before sliding an ashtray, a pack of cigarettes and a lighter towards his elbow with a small smile.

Smiling back he picked up the pack, taking a cigarette out and lightening it. “So do you want to talk to me now about what had you so upset last night?” Ville asked, looking at her from the corner of his eye as she spread jam on her toast.

Soya sighed, dropping her knife and leaning back in her chair. “I’m…” she looked at Ville, and rolled her eyes at herself. How were they ever going to talk things through or fix their problems if she didn’t speak? Ville obviously had no qualms about telling her what he thought, so why was it such a problem for her?

Soya bit her lip before starting to speak. “I guess I just don’t understand why you wouldn’t let me touch you last night.”

Ville frowned at her. “So you decided to talk to Rosalind about it, rather than me?”

Soya shrugged. “You got off the bed so fast, I thought…” She stared at him before looking down at her food. “I thought maybe you didn’t want me.”

“Oh God, Soya no.” Ville chuckled, causing Soya to look up at him in shock. “Not laughing at you, I swear, I’m not laughing at you.”

“But you’re laughing.” Soya accused.

“I’m laughing at your insecurities!” Ville said, causing Soya to continue staring at him. “Sorry, again, that came out wrong.” Ville ran a hand through his hair. “Look, I want you to touch me Soya, trust me, I want that.” Ville said looking straight at her. “But last night, that was a large step for both of us and I didn’t want to push too much too fast, I’m sorry if that came off as me not wanting you, I didn’t mean for it to seem that way.”

Soya frowned. “But I was willing.”

“Soya.” Ville sighed. “I didn’t think you were ready.”

“Shouldn’t I be the judge of that?” Soya asked staring at him. “Ville, is it because you don’t think I’m ready or is it because you like the idea of me being innocent?”

Ville scoffed. “Come on Soya.”

“I’m serious.” Soya argued, watching as he tapped the ash into the ashtray before bringing the cigarette to his mouth. “How am I supposed to learn what I like or what you like if you don’t allow me to make my own decisions?”

“I am allowing you to make your own decisions Soya.” Ville argued blowing smoke out of his mouth.

“Really? Because you assuming I wasn’t ready last night makes it seem like you’re the one taking our sexual relationship into your hands. I may be a virgin Ville, but I know that sex isn’t meant to be one sided.”

“Depends on who you ask.” Ville muttered.

Soya rolled her eyes. “Normal, non kinky sex, isn’t supposed to be one sided.” She said, causing Ville to look at her wide eyed, Soya shook her head. “You can’t keep me on this pedestal you have me on Ville, you can’t keep me this innocent little virgin that you’ve always thought about, I’m twenty eight, not sixteen.”

“I know that.” Ville said.

“Then stop treating me like I’m some child that needs to have their hand held through every step. If last night, you didn’t want me to touch you because you didn’t want to be touched, fine, I’ll let it go, but if you were holding back on my account, because you thought I wasn’t ready for that step, then that hurts.” She said. “It makes me feel like you don’t trust my judgment.”

Ville stared at her, and knew that not only had she just taken a big step in sharing all of that with him, but as much as he wanted to believe he was right in the argument, he knew he had been at fault as well. He was about to speak when Soya started again.

“I am sorry.” She said still looking at him, meeting his gaze head on as he stared at her. “I didn’t know that calling Rosalind to talk to her about this would hurt you, I’m just…so used to talking to my friends about things, that I didn’t realize that I should probably talk to my boyfriend first. I’m still learning Ville, it’s going to take me a while to get used to relaying on someone other than Josef or Rosalind, and it’s going to take a while for me to turn to you first, but I want to, I really do.”

“I know.” Ville said quietly.

“I truly never meant to hurt you.” Soya said biting her lower lip, only for Ville to lean forward and nip it, causing her to let go.

“I know.” Ville said against her lips. “Last night, when I said ‘not tonight’ I didn’t mean not ever, I’m sorry that I didn’t trust your judgment Soya, I’m new at this as well.” He pulled away only far enough for their foreheads to meet. “This relationship is different for me Soya, it’s…better.” He admitted. “And I don’t want to rush things only for you to regret the things we’ve done.”

“I wouldn’t regret anything we do together Ville.”

Ville nodded. “It’s fine if you want to talk to your friends about what we do Soya, really, it is; I would just prefer it if it were more you gloating about what we do, rather than you trying to solve a problem that is between us.”

Soya laughed. “All right.” She leaned forward and kissed him. “Fight over?”

Ville chuckled against her lips. “Fight over.”

“Good, not sure if I like it.” Soya said pulling away and picking her knife back up to finish spreading jam on her toast as Ville snuffed out the nub of a cigarette that was between his fingers and lit another, taking a sip of his coffee.

“Fighting’s normal.” Ville shrugged. “I think it would get rather boring if we didn’t fight.”

“And we don’t want to be dull right?” Soya asked with a grin.

“No, darling.” Ville laughed. “We really don’t.”