Doll

I felt childish and stupid standing in the open doorway with my new found confidence fading away. What was I suppose to do now? Clear my throat? Announce my arrival? Turn on my heel and walk right back out?

Turning back to the hallway, I was about to chicken out when the boy called: "Hey, are you the guy whose suppose to bring the Advil?" I turned around to face him, and finally got a good look at his hopeful face.

"No, actually," I replied, leaning on the door frame. "I'm looking for a doll." His face went slightly pink, something that made me smile. Blushing seem to go perfect with his round face and sea colored eyes.

He shifted slightly on the couch. "Sorry. I didn't know. Wanna sit down?" He asked nervously. I was suddenly very happy I had shoved off the shyness and awkward small talk years ago when Pete had dragged me to countless dinner parties. Nodding, I walked over to the couch to sit down beside him, proud that I hadn't fallen or tripped or anything or make an idiot of myself to a doll.

Everything was quiet for a second as a news reporter on the television prattled on about fires in some obscure part of the country. We both watched with a causal curiosity that somehow rendered us speechless. I shifted awkwardly, and tried to draw attention to something that could start a conversation. "Why did you need the Advil?" Lame, Ryan. Really lame. What would Pete say?

"Nothing really. I just...just have a really bad c-headache. I have a headache. That's all." He trailed off, running a hand over his face and fixed his hat. The sheer fact that he was more nervous than me made me smile.

I titled my head slightly when I saw the keyboard. He played? "Do you know how to play?" His eyes went wide, I caught him off-guard.

"Well-no, no, I don't. I don't play."

I frowned. "Oh...ok, cool-"

"Are you him?" He pointed to the screen, where it was showing Pete and I walking into our favorite restaurant.

"-two were seen entering a sea-side eatery. It was heard Mr. Wentz and Mr. Ross were discussing merging with Fluke; the second largest political party. If Fluke accepts then that would-"

"Yea, that's me, why?"

He shook his head, looking at the screen again and letting his clasped hands fall on his lap. I stared at him curiously for another minute or so, and he looked up a few times to meet my eyes. Each time, he would blush and look back down to his hands. "Why are you staring at me?" he asked, then quickly stuttered out; "I-I mean! Not like-"

I waved him off, and finally it dawned on me. This is what dolls were suppose to be like--how they were suppose to act. They were suppose to make you feel superior. They were suppose to say all the right things. They were suppose to make you feel like, for once, you were actually perfect.

Why didn't I do this doll thing a long time ago.

=

"So did you find anyone?" Pete asked when we accidently bumped into each other in the endless maze of hallways.

I smiled, but only slightly, letting Pete know he won was a no-no. He would never let me live it down. "Yea, I think. Do I have to go back and get a room number or something?"

"No, just a name. You got the name right?"

"Yea-Patrick."

For a second, I thought he was going to laugh in my face. That somehow-some way, he had already knew who I was talking about. That he was going to tell me what an idiot I was for picking someone who couldn't do something amazing like play an instrument, or looked a bit better (Pete's definition was much different than mine.)

But he merely smiled, and lightly bumped his hip with mine. "Awesome, why did you pick him? Are you sure he's Ross material?" I smiled at him, though not really knowing what to say. I didn't know exactly why I picked Patrick. It just seemed right, but I didn't want to admit that I liked him because he made me realize what I've been missing out on.

"I found Brendon, if you must know. You have to see this kid, he smiles all the time. And he has the biggest brown eyes."

"And what about Ashley? Isn't she going to get pissed? I don't think she's going to like it if you bring home a guy."

Pete didn't say anything at first, and we continued walking down the hall. "Yea but...yea. I'll deal with it later. Right now, I just want to get Brendon and take him home-actually." He paused, and took out his phone from his pocket, only to put it away again. "Do you think I can stay at your house? You have the guest room right?"

Some part of me really didn't want Pete to stay over, but another did, so I nodded. "Yea, sure. Just don't say I told you to stay when Ashley asks."

"OK, sure thing."

"I'm serious, Pete. Don't pin this on me."

He interrupted me to point dramatically at what looked like a hotel sign in desk. "Hey, look, there's the desk! We should really get our dolls signed over now!" At the desk were two other girls, one blonde and one a red head, both filling out papers. Pete simply squeezed in next to them, and started talking to the lady behind the desk.

Turning back to me, he asked; "You're Doll's name was Patrick, right?" I nodded, awkwardly standing next to him. "You're so lucky you're with me." He smirked as the lady turned to her computer. "You would have to fill so many papers, and bring certificates and ID's and everything. It's ridiculous, but now all you have to do is sign one paper."

"Uh..what is--the paper. What does it say?" I asked nervously. No matter how much I tried, the twisting feeling in my stomach wouldn't go away.

"Oh, nothing major. Just that you're going to take care them and all that jazz."

"Really? It's just--it's that easy?"

"I know, right! It saves so much time!"

I glanced over at Pete to make sure he actually meant it, but he was signing the paper. Maybe I was just over-reacting, but then again, it was too late to actually thing about it. The lady was already calling Patrick and Brendon down, and Pete was handing over the pen and pushing the paper towards me.

The dotted line seemed harmless enough, this was a normal everyday thing. So I quickly signed and pushed the paper away, smiling to myself all the while. I did it.

The lady took the paper back, and looked over it. Then looked up, and grinned a lipstick stained grin. "Congratulations, you guys official own Brendon and Patrick. Enjoy your new life with your dolls."