Something We've Lost

Time changes were a bitch.

By the time Jack had gotten home and brushed his teeth—he hated the fuzzy, disgusting feeling that unbrushed teeth brought him in the morning—it had been closer to four than three. Unfortunately, he was still on California time, and it felt more like one, a time that Jack was used to being awake at. So he had fallen into bed, picked up the remote and tried to find something good to watch amongst the infomercials and bullshit that was playing on MTV and VH1.

When he finally did fall asleep, it was five thirty. Nine hours later he was stumbling down the stairs, hoping that his mom would have some kind of breakfast waiting for him.

It wasn't breakfast, but it was one of Joyce Barakat's specialties: lasagna. "Yum," he said after inhaling deeply and falling into one of the chairs at the kitchen table. "That gonna be done soon?"

His mother rolled her eyes. "Hello to you too," she said in a slightly admonishing tone. "And in an hour or so. I told you that Aunt Bernice is in town and coming over for dinner."

Jack cringed. "I think you mentioned that," he agreed, "but I'm kind of supposed to meet the guys tonight. To work on stuff."

Mrs. Barakat raised an eyebrow. "Isn't being home your version of vacation time?" she questioned.

"Well... yeah," Jack nodded.

"And during vacations, normally people spend time with their families," she continued.

Jack laughed. "Mom, normal people also go to places like Mexico or Florida on vacations. I go to Maryland."

She began chopping up an assortment of vegetables, her face fixed in determination. Jack's mom did not easily give up when there was some kind of event she wished for her son to attend. "May and Joe are coming over," she said in an attempt to play the guilt card. "They've both missed you so much, and if they can't take time out—"

"Okay, okay," Jack chuckled, admitting to defeat. "I'll come to dinner with Aunt Bernice."

"Oh, how kind of him to agree to bless us with his presence," taunted the voice of his sister, May, as she entered the kitchen, her arms laden with bags.

"Hitting the malls, I see? What was it this time, a break up or a change in occupation?" Jack challenged as he peaked into one of the bags.'

May bristled. "Why do you think that I only go shopping when something goes wrong?" she demanded.

Jack raised his eyebrows. "Because you do," he insisted, "Retail therapy, I believe they call it."

Looking somewhat irritated, May set her shopping bags down on the floor and took a seat next to her brother. "His name was Andy," she sighed, "And just so you know, it's kind of annoying that you know me so well."

"It happens after being stuck with you for eighteen yeas," Jack explained. He pulled a banana out of the bowl of fruit in the middle of the table and began peeling it. "By the way, Sis," he said, "thank you so much for that yellow beast that you rented me. I've always wanted one."

May grinned. "My pleasure," she said as she pulled out the contents of one of her bags. "Mom, can you hand me some scissors?"

Jack raised an eyebrow. "What are you doing?"

"Taking off the tags before I feel bad for spending so much," May explained in a 'duh' tone. As she began cutting the tags off of her new clothes, she commented airily, "I saw Aspen today."

Jack froze. "What?" he demanded.

May avoided his gaze. "Come on, Jack, you can't expect me not to talk to her just because you guys aren't together anymore," she countered, "I pretty much grew up with her."

Why couldn't he expect May not to talk to her? It made no sense to Jack. He cleared his throat before continuing, "She's in Maryland?"

"Uh, yeah," May said, pulling a sticker off a shirt. "You should call her up since you're both here."

"Nah," Jack countered, standing up and shaking his head, "I don't think so. I'm going for a drive. I'll be back before dinner, Mom." He jogged up the stairs to grab the keys to the Cruiser before ducking out the front door.

He had been home plenty of times since he had graduated high school and All Time Low had begun touring. Never had he heard Aspen's name mentioned so much. So why now? And why was she home? Why did it seem like the world was fighting to get him to see Aspen?

He picked up his cell phone as he began driving towards Alex and Rian's house. "Hey," he said as soon as Alex picked up. "Let's go out tonight."

"Fuck yeah!" Alex exclaimed in agreement. "Get here a-sap, you doucher."

_______________________________________________________________________

Aspen couldn't hear anything. Her white earbuds were firmly planted in her ears, and the volume on her iPod was turned up so loudly that she couldn't even hear the horse next to her whinnying, though she was sure that he wasn't being quiet—Colorado hated having his hooves cleaned.

A hand reached out and grabbed one of the earphones, pulling it from her ear. Aspen jumped and nearly fell off the stool she had been sitting on. "Mom," she breathed, brushing her bangs from her face. "You scared me."

"I've been calling you for a half hour," Mrs. Beaufort said.

"Sorry," Aspen replied, "It was a long day, and I just wanted to be alone for a while."

"I saw Joyce Barakat in the supermarket the other day," Aspen's mother announced as she began inspecting some of the ribbons hanging on the stable wall.

Aspen picked up Colorado's hoof. "Really? That's nice," she commented. Whenever the Barakat name was mentioned, she tried her hardest to zone out. She hated thinking of Jack.

"She said Jack's in town."

With a sigh, Aspen dropped Colorado's foot and pushed her side sweeping bangs from her slightly sweaty forehead. "Yeah, I know," she admitted, "I ran into May today."

"Why don't you give him a call, sweetheart? I know you don't like talking about it and that you guys didn't leave things well, but surely just talking to him wouldn't be horrible?"

Dropping the hoof pick into the bucket of grooming tools, Aspen stood up and brushed her hands off on her beat up jeans. "Yeah, maybe I will," she replied, only to placate her mother. There was no way Aspen was calling Jack.

Mrs. Beaufort smiled. "Good. I'm glad. He was your best friend all throughout high school."

"Yup," Aspen said with a forced smile as she carried the grooming tools into the tack room. "I'll give him a call as soon as I get home," she said as she lead Colorado back to his stall. She turned around and gave her mom another smile, fake as can be. "Thanks, Mom. See you later!"

As she escaped from the stable, Aspen pressed her palm into her eye in an attempt to stop the twitching feeling. She couldn't help it. Thinking about Jack drove her a little crazy—no, very crazy.

She missed him. And she had missed him since the minute that she had told him to leave and he had obliged her. It was the stupidest thing she had ever done, in her opinion. And since graduating, Aspen had made some stupid decisions.