No One Ever Taught Me Who I Was Supposed to Be

Panic soon filled my body. Oh god. He's looking at me. LIE LIE LIE.

I look up to see Franks face. He seems confused.

How long am I going to sit here and not say anything? What do I say? How do you lie?

I can feel the water start to drop from my eyes. In my panic state the only thing that comes to my mind is to reach up and slowly put my hands around his neck and not let go.

He shifts his body next to mine and puts his arm around my shoulders. I hold my breath and close my eyes. I wait for a punch to the gut or a slap to the face. But instead I feel my body being pulled into him. His other arm rapping around me.

Is... Is he hugging me? What do I do?

"I'm sorry," I say as I push him away. "I...I Have to go."

I stumble to my feet and rush for the door. Swinging it open quickly I run down the stairs. Tears are running down my face.

What was all that about? Why did I show weakness? Why didn't he hit me? Tell me I'm a fag for crying like a baby.

As I continue to mentally kick, myself I realize I'm home. I immediately go down stairs to my basement. I fumble for the keys in my pocket as I stand at the door. I feel the anger starting to set in as I still can't get the basement door key out of my pocket.

I shouldn't have let him see me like that. I should have killed him.

I get through the door finally and grab a knife off my work bench. Still covered in blood I stick it under the faucet, the water as hot as I can get it. I can feel the water burning my skin.

I need to kill.

I leave the house walking through the shadows looking for my new victim. Walking past the park I see three teenage girls sitting on the swings talking about celebrity crushes.

I sit on the bench a couple of yards from the swings; watching; waiting. The street lamp ten feet way wont stay on. Every three minutes it shuts off and turns back on.

As the sun continues to set over the vast city. I get antsy. I can feel the fear that everyone gives off in this city as it gets dark. My time to strike is closing in. The girls get off the swings and start to walk out of the northside of the park. I follow close. Blending with the shadows.

We come to a street corner. I stand back as the girls hug and say good by to each other. Two of the girls continue north as one girl wonders off to the west by herself.

Fortunately for me she's walking in the direction of my house. Still staying back in the shadows I wait for the cars to finish driving by.

My palms sweat. Here's my chance.

I walk up quickly behind her and jab the knife deep in the the bottom half of her spine. I quickly cover her mouth with my hand. Pulling her close to my body I fell her to lose her strength. She tries to
continue to struggle out of my arms.

This was an easy kill. The release fills my body. I feel calm.

I needed this.