You Call This A Fairytale? I Call It Hell.

I sighed an uneven breath nervously. Downstairs, I could already hear my mom and stepfather fighting again. He was scolding her for not folding his pants right after they got out of the dryer, and she was trying to defend herself by saying she had to finish the dishes, vaccume, dust, clean the bathrooms, and clean their room.
My stepfather's response: "Well then stop trying to be a hero and stick with one simple thing instead of ten, bitch! Didn't anyone teach you how to be a good wife?!"
And with that, the house shook from him walking outside and slamming the door. Luckily, he had only come home for a few minutes tonight, because he had a 'business meeting' with some guys from his work.
Even with my bedroom door closed as tightly as it could go, I could still hear my mom sigh and begin to clank around the dishes once more.
I don't understand how she can take this. She thinks this kind of behavior is normal for a marriage, and with time it will get better. She's been married to this jerk for three years! He's physically abused her, and mentally abused the both of us.
I love my mom to death. Unlike most normal teenagers, she's my best friend. She's so sweet, and she's always trying to be a better person. Not talk about people, be kind to strangers, all that. I try my best to be like her.
But one I thing I know this home has done for me: I've lost my trust for people.
I can easily trust Mollie, she's amazing. And, it's easier for me to trust girls than it is for me to trust a guy. My closest girl friends have always been there for me, and we've never turned our backs on each other.
But trusting guys is a whole different story.
I know this sounds.... freakishly cliche, but it's just the truth.
I've never had a father figure in my life, exept for the Lord. (I'm proud to say that I'm a strong Christian, and I try my hardest to follow all my God's rules.... But, I'm human, and I slip sometimes, but God still loves me anyways.)
My biological father gave up on me. My mom and he have been divorced for 6 years, and I supposidly see my dad every other weekend.
I say he gave up on me... Because he did. He used to try to be a dad when I was little... He and I would spend all our time together, we'd wrestle, eat dinner together, and sometimes even just walk to the park and hang out there. But that all changed about a year before my parents got divorced.
He became addicted to his job: one of the Vice Presidents for a company owned by Discovery. He's the computer geek of the company, in charge of the website and it's functionings. When he got promoted, that's when I stopped seeing him. He'd come home after my bedtime, leave before I got up for school, and was always working during the weekends. My mom never saw much of him either... which didn't help the fact our family was falling apart.
And my poor brother had to go through this at such a young age. He was only about 8 or 9, and now he's 14. But he remembers everything about not having a supporting dad.
After the divorce, I thought I'd at least see my dad more, because I'd see him every other weekend. I did for awhile... Then he started making excuses. He'd say he was sick, that he blew a tire, that he was super busy with work.... But I knew better than to believe him. They were all lies. Eventually he stopped calling, sending emails, or even replying to my simple texts. He became so distant.
Now, he still lives in Atlanta, and barely knows that Wesley (My brother) and I moved.
But, my dad is not a part of my life anymore. I've grown knumb to the fact he doesn't care about me, and it's settled itself in my heart that he will never care. I hate thinking this... But it's just the truth.
A whole different story with my stepfather, Randy. He yells, throws things, and won't ever give a compliment. Just criticism.
When my mom and he first started dating, I really liked Randy. In fact, I loved him. He was my father then. But since the marriage... he's changed. He's a completely different person. He takes advantage of us... He considers us his slaves. And it's most definatly not healthy.
But Wesley and I don't say anything to my poor mother. She thinks she's doing the right thing, and she claims she loves Randy. But she forgives him soo much that it's just become a normal thing for her to be yelled at. And I don't think I could change her mind about Randy... Just make her upset with herself that she's not providing a good home life for her children. She thinks she's doing the right thing, and I don't want to upset her. So Wesley and I just keep our mouths shut and deal through the emotional stress of living with Randy.

I sighed once more and shakily lifted my hands to my face. My gut began to tighten, and I dragged my feet up to my chest and leaned back against the headboard of my bed. I don't think that this will ever stop, the fighting. I just have to suffer through it, and be strong like I have the past 3 years of my life.
Just like the song... Cowgirls don't cry. Neither will I tonight.
I'll go riding again tomorrow to try to get this off my mind. Cantering will cure any evil.

There was a knock on my door, and immediatly I jumped in my skin. As it replayed itself in my mind though, I settled down. It was too light a knock to be one of Randy's. I swallowed, breathed twice to settle myself down, and replied with a cracking voice.
"Yeah?"
"Keyla?" It was my brother's voice. Wesley.
He turned the knob gently and pushed on the door, sticking his head inside my messy room. Immediatly his eyes met with mine, and I forced a smile towards him. His dark brown eyes were red, signaling he'd been crying.
"Hey, Wes. Come in," I said lightly towards him, patting the spot on my bed next to me. He pushed the door open gently, but only stepped inside.
"Uh, no, actually, I was wondering if you could take me to football practice? Randy was suppost to... but-" He began, and I saw that his neck tightened. A knot was forming in his throat, just as it was mine.
"Yeah, yeah. That's fine. Go ahead and put your stuff in my car, I'll be down in a sec." I forced another grin and him, and moved my body slowly towards the edge of my bed. My feet dangled off just as Wesley nodded and walked back out my door.
I sighed once again. I had to be strong. I have to be. For Wesley. My little brother's only 14, still delicate. He looks up to me... We have to make it through this together, and I have to lead.
I wiped away some rouge tears that had fallen over my eyelids quickly, and inhaled deeply through my nose.
My legs shakily allowed me to stand, and I walked out my door and down the stairs, grabbing my purse on the way through the kitchen. My mom was still there, taking the dishes out from the dishwasher and putting them into the cabinet. She had her back to me, and I stopped briefly before I made it out the door.
"Momma?" I called, clearing my throat not to let her see that I had been upset.
She turned her beautiful head, and her electric blue eyes curiously stared into mine. "Where are ya goin'?" She casually asked, and I walked slowly back over to her slim body.
"I'm taking Wesley to football." I commented, nodding my head slowly.
"Oh, alright. That's fine, thank you," She grinned at me, flashing her white teeth behind the strand of straight, highlighted brown hair that had fallen out of her sloppy ponytail. My mom really was gorgeous, even when she didn't try to be.
"Uh huh..." I mumbled, but stood next to her still. "Hey, Momma?" I caught her attention nervously.
"Yes, Keyla?" She questioned playfully.
"I love you," Immediatly I embraced her into a hug, and she laughed and hugged me back.
"I love you too, dear. Now, Wesley's waiting on you, you better hurry up or you're going to get in trouble with that kid," She giggled out, and I let her go before aggreeing with her and rushing back out the door.

I ran out front and into the bright light of the setting sun, and rushed to my car. Wesley was waiting patiently in the passenger seat, with his helmit in his lap. He must of already put all his pads in the backseat of my little black Honda.
"So is the practice at the school again?" I asked casually as I opened the car door and slid myself inside.
I stuck the keys in and put the car in reverse, backing out the driveway slowly.
"Yup. It's always at the school, I don't see how you can't remember that." My brother joked, and I squinted my eyes at him, while a smile played at my lips.
"Hey, you want a car to drive you or not?" I reached my right hand over towards him and poked his arm, which was extremely muscular for him just being 14. It's funny how athletic this kid was, and how big. He already had my 5'5" height beat, by a good four to five inches.
He laughed it off, and we both grew silent. I passed the Jonas house, slowing down by just a couple miles per hour, not enough for Wes to notice, and sighed as I saw Joe's car in the driveway.
I wonder what he's doing right now.... I haven't seen him all day, and that's weird for our schedule. I always want to see him...
Which sucks.
I don't want to always see him, but yet, my heart does. I don't want to like him, or... whatever strong feeling I have for him.... But yet, I do. It's like... whenever I'm around him... The barrier I try so hard to keep up, just comes tumbling down into pieces. It's like my life is exposed... My heart is exposed... And all my secrets of my life... aren't a secret anymore.
I trust Joe.... and I hate the fact I do. I don't want to, but at the same time, I do.

But I know I'm going to get hurt. And hurt bad.
So I'm going down this horrible road of falling for him, but there's no break or reverse. I know I can't stop myself from wanting to be with him, and if I cut him out of my whole life... I don't know what I'd do.
So... remember when I said that I don't trust men easily? Somehow... (Still not sure how).... Joe broke through me. I feel so vulnerable because I do... have feeling for him. And it makes me feel so stupid to even admit that.
But Joe's the one I want to run to. He's the one I want to hold me in his arms....
Too bad he doesn't feel that way about me.
And I don't want him to feel that way about me. I have way too much baggage for any guy to handle, especially Joe. I don't want to drag him into this.

I drove about ten minutes to reach Wesley's middle school, and once I pulled into the parking lot, I shut off the car and got out. I opened the back seat and grabbed Wes's paddings and gear for him, and he thanked me as I handed them over to him.
"Yup. Do you need a ride home after practice is over?" I asked and rolled my weight around on my feet. I looked up to meet my younger brother's eyes, (told you he was tall), and he forced a smile back at me.
"No, I'm good. Spending the night at Brandon's tongiht. I'll get a ride home with him," He replied and attempted to jerk his thick, brown hair to the side of his forehead.
I scoffed lightly. "Dude, your hair is way to thick to do that stupid head thing."
Wesley sighed, and looked around the empty parking lot we were in. "Yeah, I guess you're right."
My thin lips made a true smile, and I hit him lightly on his arm that was holding all the pads. "Well, see you tomorrow then?"
"Yup." He stated.
"Alright. Behave yourself, use your best manners, and clean up after youself. Got it?" I tested him, and he rolled his eyes playfully.
"Yes ma'am," He scoffed, and turned around jokingly and began to walk to the school. The field was in the back, so he took a small right to be able to find a shortcut.
"I love you!" I called after him playfully.
He raised his tan arm (How is he my brother if he is even slightly tan?!), and grumbled at me. "Yeah, yeah, yeah."

I giggled slightly and reopened my car door and got back inside.
On the way home, my heavy heart had began to lift itself. I didn't feel as upset as I did before, and I figured to enjoy the one night that Randy wasn't home. I didn't have to stay in my room all night, and I could actually have a nice meal with my mom, when it was just she and I. Finally.... something could be normal for once.

I was actually smiling as I pulled slowly into my neighborhood, and I passed all the pretty houses while tapping a beat against the leather steering wheel. Tonight was going to be good.

I eventually pulled onto my street, and moved my foot slowly to the break to slow down so I wouldn't miss my house.
But I was only about 4 houses away when I saw... and heard... what was going on.
My eyes scanned my front yard, and it was filled with about 8 or 9 people from what I could tell at first glance. My brows creased together worriedly, and my breathing excellerated.
Randy's car was parked in the driveway.

He was home.

Why?

But 'why' wasn't what I could think of right now.
I stopped in the middle of the street, two blocks away from my house. Moving so quickly, I cut the engine and pulled the break up, jerking my car door open and throwing my weak body out of it.
My head began to spin, and my eyes slightly blurred. Oh my gosh.
What was happening?
I ran as fast as my trembling legs could carry me towards my two story house, and a knot in my throat began to form. Not again...
No.
No!

"Keyla!" I heard a voice call my name, but I ignored it. I ran towards where the source was, however, because whoever called me was standing on my front yard.
I reconized the Jonas family and Mollie, all scattered around my grass and driveway. Even Frankie was there. All their faces were worried, and they all had their eyes on me as I ran up.

But just as I was in earshot, I knew why they were all worried. Randy's deep and booming voice yelled once again, and I cringed just as my feet came to an abrupt halt.
My eyes began to blur even more, and my knees grew weak.
This is insane.

"THANKS TO YOU I GOT FIRED FROM MY POSITION!" Randy's voice screamed once again, and I only slightly heard my mom reply to that.

"Keyla!" I heard the same voice call me again, but this time it was filled with multiple others. Slowly, my head turned in shock to whoever called me. It was Joe, and he was running to my side.
I was standing in shock on the edge of my property, with my eyes already watering and stomach dropping.
Randy was standing just outside my house, with my mom a few feet away from his towering body as he screamed. Her brows were pulled together, trying to stand up for herself, holding back the tears like she had always done.
Mr. Jonas was here, to my suprise. The sweet man was trying to talk some sense into the arrogant Randy, telling him he needed to stop yelling, and they would handle things in a mature way.
Randy was ignoring him, still blaming my mom for anything he could at the top of his lungs.
With each word he screamed to my mother, I shook more and more with horror. My legs were about to let me collapse, and my head began to spin even more.
I was exhausted. I couldn't handle anymore of this, and I was about to crack and break down. I could feel it.

"Keyla!" Joe called me once again just as he reached me, and placed a hand on each of my arms. I couldn't look at him, or tear my eyes away from the adults over there argueing.

"YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED TO CALL YOURSELF HUMAN!" Randy screamed once again to Mom.
And then... The one thing I was hoping wouldn't happen, did.
He slung his large hand up with much power, and slapped it against my mom's beautiful face. It covered over half her face, and she stumbled down and fell to the ground from all the force that came with it. I screamed from the shock of seeing that, but couldn't move. My legs began to shake so much with terror that they collapsed too, but Joe reacted quickly and supported me with his side.
The sound of Randy's hand hitting my mom's face was so incredibly loud, I'm suprised the neighbors who weren't already out here didn't hear it.

I saw movement from the corner of my eye, and reconized the moving figure as Kevin. He raced to his father's aid, and together they both held back the raging Randy to keep him from touching my mother once again. Denise moved quickly too, leaving her husband's side and rushed to my mom on the ground. She went to her knees and placed her hand's on my mom's shoulders, and I saw the glittering of tears streaming my mom's blue eyes.
I copied her, and the water from my eyes escaped in endless amounts of tears. I threw myself onto Joe as he held me there, in the middle of my yard as the sun was setting on this warm day, and sobbed loudly.

"Joe! Bring her back to our house!" Denise screamed back at Joe, and I felt him nod as he began to swiftly lift me in his arms. I didn't stop him. I only kept crying.

The sound of Paul and Kevin holding back Randy still filled my ears, and the commotion of the scene was still going on.
Joe ran me across the street to his house, and Mollie and Nicholas followed from what I heard. They both opened the door for us, and Joe moved me inside to the living room without any hesitant.
The only things I was seeing were the back of my eyelids, but I trusted Joe to keep me safe. He collapsed us on the couch, with me laying half way on him as his feet were placed on the ground.
"Shh," He whispered to me, his voice cracked too. I still cried, but his hands ran all over my back and embraced me so I was on him.

My body shook as I still cried, but Joe was patient and waited on me. Mollie and Nick did the same, because they were in the room, yet said nothing.

"Keyla..." Joe whispered into my ear as my breathing finally came to a better level after many minutes of my crying my heart out.
I sniffled, inhaling the beautiful scent of Joe.... Otherwise now known as my perfect knight in shining armor.
The tears still shed from my electric green eyes, but I managed to open them and meet Joe's deep, brown ones.
His eyes were slightly red, and his lips pursed, indicating he had even shed a few tears. But his look bored into me, and his hands moved from my back up to my face, forcing me to look at him. His tan hands supported my whole face, embracing me and holding me close to him.

"Michaela," He whispered seriously, voice still cracking as he used my full name. I forgot we weren't the only ones in the room as I looked into his eyes. "Please don't cry. I hate it when you cry. You don't deserve to live with that, and I hate it that I can't do anything to help.... Michaela... I-.... I love you."