No Strings Attached, Please?

Monday rolled over quickly so another school drama was to unfold. But the difference was, I walked alone on my way to school, and yes I decided to get the school bus because Nat didn’t come earlier in the morning to give me a ride.

It’s kinda weird because he wouldn’t usually bail or at least he would tell me that he’s not capable of giving me a ride to school.

My feet found their way to my first class, homeroom. I walked inside the class and found a number of students were already there. I walked to the far side of room and found a vacant seat right next to Nat. I quickly walked to the chair and sat there, noticing that Nat was finishing some of his homework while listening to his iPod.

I waved my hand to draw his attention to me. He noticed and lifted up his head, looking a bit flushed when he saw me.

“Why didn’t you call to tell me you won’t be picking me up?” I asked while he slid his headphones around his neck. Nat looked confused and was silent for a moment before he cleared his throat.

“Look, Sava... it’s not like I have to give you a ride to school like every single day” he replied. I was shocked for a moment, knitting my eyebrows together. I didn’t really get what he said.

“What?” I asked beyond confused by his fast mood changing.

Nat rolled his eyes, “You could have just taken the school bus, it’s pretty simple, right?”

“Nat, you always called and told me first when you couldn’t make it. Why didn’t you call?”

“Maybe I’m too lazy, or maybe I’m just sick of your so-called demands. I’m not your real boyfriend, Sava” he clenched his teeth together and looked a bit pissed off. I was startled to find him attacking me. Nat wasn’t usually like this, he suddenly went all heady and….what the fuck?

“What’s with the asshole-ish mood, Nat?” I tried so hard to calm my anger down because actually I was a bit offended. He might not my boyfriend, but I offered my help when he needed it! Didn’t he get the whole thing that we need to build up a fake relationship so he could accomplish his mission of getting Lynn?

“Just… stop being annoying, will ya? And I’m busy, I need to finish my homework soon” he said at last and pulled back his headphone to his ears. And me? I was only deadpanned there by his rudeness.

I clenched my fist and decided to let it go. I didn’t want to make a mess with him at the moment so I concentrated on the homeroom teacher who was registering the absence of the students.

Maybe it was that time of month for Nathaniel McGregor.



When my Modern Language class finished, I walked through the crowded hall where the clattering sound of kids’ chatter filled in. I shoved my Spanish textbook inside my messenger bag then ventured over my locker. I had to go to my Algebra class after the lunch but since my Algebra for Advanced textbook was burned by those silicone bitches, I had to beg Mom to buy me another. It was a pretty thick book, so I thought it’s the best way to keep it in my locker and I was sure Lynn wouldn’t dare to light a fire again – not that kind of ‘fire’ at least, since it could get her into suspension again.

Standing at my locker, I shoved my Spanish textbook and grabbed my Algebra from the locker. I also rummaged through the locker to find some forgotten notes that I took from Psychology study. When I shut my locker, I spotted a guy in a football team varsity jacket pinning a blonde to the locker as they proceeded to make out shamelessly.

And it was Lynn, she was giggling when she shared tongue with Evan Sinclair. Then, I heard a few kids murmur something about how they started dating. Uh-oh... this wasn’t good. Nat couldn’t get the spot if she’s dating someone else.

My eyes were on Lynn for a brief moment before I shifted my eyes to Nat’s figure near them. He looked… like he was about to cry when he saw Lynn. He looked hurt and broken and I knew he had heard that Lynn and Evan were dating. His eyes then were fixed on mine, not showing any emotion before he just turned on his heels, blending into the crowd in an instant before I caught up with him.

What the fuck was wrong with him?

It’s like I just pissed him off. I didn’t remember I had ever said something wrong to him, I didn’t remember that I made him angry, what I remembered was he’s being a PMS bitch this morning.

Was he mad at me because he lost his chance with Lynn? Was he mad because Lynn dated Evan? Or was he mad that I couldn’t get Lynn for him?

I didn’t remember that I made him mad, I mean... the last time we spoke was when he drove me home after I had a breakfast at his house. We even didn’t talk; he only let out a low ‘hmm’ to me.

My mind was drawn back to where I woke up that Saturday morning.

As I heard the rustle of wind coming through my ears, the bird chirping loudly outside and the sunrays literally attacking my closed eyelids, I slowly opened my eyes at the sight of opened window in front of me.

It wasn’t any of my bedroom windows, and quickly I realized I wasn’t even in my room. Soon enough, I felt encaged in someone’s arms and then suddenly my thoughts came to last night. It came like a motion picture when I remembered I took Nat’s virginity and personally, I wasn’t proud of it because I found out that I was the one who took the McGregor twins’ virginity. Oh my God, how fucked up does that sound? I was such a whore!

I stirred and spun around to find Nat’s bare chest. We were tangled in Nat’s thin blanket. We wore nothing but the sheet. I could feel our bodies were sticky from sweat but I’d come to like it because in his embrace, I felt safe and warm.

I watched him sleeping for a moment and then I came to a conclusion that he’s got a nice body. I thought about last night, well yes Nat was sexually awkward. Of course, it was his first time. But what I like was, he kept asking me if he hurt me. It was somewhat sweet that he cared about me and he wanted to be gentle, and for the most part, I enjoyed it even when he was weird and awkward.

As I spun around my body again and decided to enjoy the moment before he woke up, I silently cursed. Oh God, I could feel his penis digging into my back. I swallowed hard and decided to get up. I wrapped the sheet around myself and tried to search for my discarded clothes on the floor.

When he woke up because of my hurried movement, Nat was almost screaming in panic to find me naked and tangled in his sheet. He went haywire and asked about what we’d done. He seemed to only remembered tiny things that happened between us. He didn’t really like the fact that we had sex and so it led me to have a silly argument with him about he forced me to do it.

We came to the conclusion that we wouldn’t do that again and Nat was upset because he had sex with me. Was I that bad in the bed? Boys who I bedded always mentioned that I was amazing in bed.

When we’re finished with our argument, I quickly collected all my stuff and dressed up in my last night’s outfit but the door suddenly opened. Mrs. McGregor walked in and spotted me in the middle of zipping my skirt without a shirt on. That was really really awkward and I expected that she would be mad at me and start to yell profanities about me being slut, whore and similar.

However, she showed her amused smile and I apologized about the mess I caused. I was about to go straight home and say my goodbyes, but Mrs. McGregor invited me for the breakfast. I said that I was already being a burden to the family and I thought it’s the best idea if I just went straight home. But Nat’s Mom insisted I stay a bit longer.

Nat kept a crumpled face during breakfast because his parents just found out that he wasn’t a virgin anymore. Normally, the parents would give some lecture about our premarital sex and a lot of stuff about morals, but all I could see from Mr. and Mrs. McGregor was amusement. Then, I finally got the clue that the parents actually had questioned about Nat’s sexual orientation because he’s still seventeen, a boy and purely a virgin. Not anymore. They were happy to find their son is normal and attracted to girls. I remembered when Carlton told me about every time they got into a family gathering; Nat was always mocked by the cousins that he’s still a virgin.

The breakfast was more like a party of joy as they celebrated that their oldest boy wasn’t a virgin anymore. All the time I was there, I kept my head down low. It wasn’t actually a good thing to celebrate, especially by parents. I was kinda embarrassed about it and Nat seemed to not tp like the idea of the celebration. He kept murmuring incoherencies under his breath.

Kat, who joined the breakfast, was quite amused that Nat lost his virginity to me because she said the two of us made a cute couple. Kat even recommended that we date for real. As the breakfast ended, I was about to go home and Mr. McGregor asked Nat to drive me. Nat wasn’t himself that morning, being kinda weird and silent. But, when his Dad insisted him to take me home, he effortlessly led me to his Ducati.

Kat said her goodbyes to me and whispered that I made it good with him. She said that I was the first girl he ever brought home, and the parents already liked me since I behaved well.

On our way back to my house, Nat didn’t say anything. And when he dropped me off, he just nodded when I thanked him then he just drove off . Like I said, he wasn’t himself that Saturday morning.

The thing was, I didn’t get why he’s being so different ever since he woke up. Was he that upset because we fucked? God dammit, he’s the one who begged me to do it, so he could experience it. That’s why I hated to have sex with drunken people. All they did was blame it on me then felt the regret after. It was me they used and they just easily became mad because they thought it was a pure mistake.

I guess Nat himself thought that we were mistake.

My contemplation suddenly stopped when I bumped into someone in front of me. My bag dropped on the floor as I cursed. I heard Kale chuckle as he helped me collect my belongings that purged out from my bag before helping me up.

“Hey baby, I missed you! It’s been awhile since we saw–-”he greeted with a huge grin on his face before I slapped him. People surrounding me gasped and turned their heads in an instant to where Kale and I stood.

Kale was startled, his mouth hung open widely as he touched the spot where I slapped him hard.

“Sava, what the fuck?!” he cried and rubbed his pained cheek. The number of kids who watched our scene grew as they were obviously dying to know what happened because it was really unusual for me and Kale to fight since we were inseparable. I glared at the puzzled Kale and pulled his collar, dragging him out from the hall. I dragged him to the yard and found a private place to talk.

“Savannah, what the fuck!!” he struggled from my grasp and pushed me off of him lightly.

“It should be me who gets to ask WHAT THE FUCK, KALE? You’re one true bastard, what’s going on in your perverted head? Do you think it’s necessary to fuck someone who isn’t your girlfriend?” I yelled aloud in his face, pushing his chest.

“What the fuck are you talking about?” he spat back, looking confused.

I scoffed cynically, “Why in the hell’s name would you fuck Cora again, Kale? You came with Bridget and then you wandered around, offering your filthy dick to that bitch? I thought you were serious with Bridget!”

Kale was hit by a realization when he heard me; he looked speechless and only stuttered words that came out from his mouth.

“I... uh... that...” he swallowed hard. “Savannah, I was horny. Bridget only teased me and I was really frustrated, she only made things harder to cope with. You know I can’t hold it when I’m hard as a rock, I need a release—“ with that I punched him on the nose. Quite hard until I moaned in pain because my fist hurt.

Kale roared in pain, he covered his nose and threw some profanities out from his mouth.

“I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU, KALE! You like Bridget, she likes you back, you guys are going out but you fuck around! She cared about you a lot, but you didn’t find it enough so you fuck Cora? Look at what you’ve done to her! Oh Jesus, Cora is her friend, that’s a really fuck up, Potter!” I glared murderously at him and shook my head in disappointment.

Kale still moaned in pain but he managed to talk, “Look, Sava… I like Bridget... yes I like her a lot. But you know... I can’t hold my penis; I could die any moment if I didn’t fuck someone. Maybe I’m going out with Bridget, well, I took her virginity, but she’s not sexually active, it’s frustrating…” he let out another moan, wiping his bloody nose. “She doesn’t want to sleep with me that often, I don’t want to push her over the cliff because I value everything she decides, but my penis is a bastard. What the fuck am I supposed to do?”

Kale clenched his teeth together, his gaze not leaving mine.

I only sighed and groaned, “If you really like her, you will hold yourself, you will try your hardest not to hurt her, but look what you’ve done!”

“Wait... wait wait... wait a second, you mean she knows? She knows that I fucked Cora at the party?” Kale’s eyes swelled out and he gaped like a fish.

“She went looking for you, asshole. And she found you and Cora in some bedroom. She told me Cora was sorry about it and she even told her everything, that you secretly fucked her. I also tried to hide it from her, but I’ve come to conclusion that you quit, I thought you changed, but... seriously Kale you disappoint me, you hurt Bree. Is she not enough for you? She’s a sweetheart, she’s beautiful, she’s friendly and really nice, but you fucked it up”

“GODDAMMIT!” Kale screamed as he kicked the grass on his shoes. “Oh shit! FUCK FUCK FUCK! That’s why she didn’t reply any of my texts; she didn’t let me call her. I thought she’s busy and... oh my God, I fucked it up! Motherfucker, I... I... Jesus Christ, what did I do?” he faced down as he rubbed his face off. A low whimper escaped from his mouth. Was he that….stressed out?

“The worst thing, she told me that she doesn’t want to see you anymore, Kale” I told him. Kale rapidly lifted up his head and looked frustrated. I could see he’s in verge of tears but he held it.

“She… she doesn’t want to see me anymore? You mean…Oh shit!” he raked and yanked his hair with both of his hands, he threw his beanie to the ground and stomped on it. He kept cursing and wailed about how big of an idiot he was.

“Kale…” I finally felt bad for him. I whispered and reached him. I rubbed his shoulder hoping it will comfort him. “I was wondering, if you ever liked her…”

Kale shifted his eyes from the ground to mine, “I like her, I like her a lot, Savannah. I know it’s unfair that I haven’t made it official with her, I know she wants it, but you know that I’m... oh fuck, I’m such an asshole. She isn’t sure that I like her really much, is she?”

I nodded weakly. Kale only bit his lower lip and started to hit his face. He was really mad at himself and he regretted everything. Remorse and remorse. He shook his head and that’s when I figured out that he genuinely liked Bridget. He wasn’t usually like this, I knew he’s kinda a player with perverted head, he fucked around but he was never this way before. He’s serious about Bridget.

“What am I supposed to do now?” he hoarsely asked me with his puppy look.

“Grow a pair, find her and talk to her. Your sorry ass needs to apologize, and you need to be serious, Kale. She’s really upset and kinda furious”

“I know... I know...” he sighed deeply before he reached give me a big hug. “I think I should find her now,” he pulled back and weakly smiled. “Thanks for… slapping and punching me on the face,”

I chuckled, “Anytime” I nodded. “You’re lucky I didn’t try to rip you balls off”

Kale chuckled lightly and then gave me the last hug before he jogged to find Bridget, leaving me alone in the yard.



Presumably, Nat was mad at me for real. He didn’t show up in the canteen as I contemplated many things about Kale and Nat. I was sitting there and aimlessly picking at my food. Nat wasn’t around; Kale was busy taking care of his problems with Bridget, no one was happy to join me for lunch. Nonetheless, in the last twenty minutes, Carlton showed up with a look that I couldn’t catch.

I asked him why he’s late for lunch and he just said that he needed to deal with something. Something he didn’t want to tell me. Carlton and I enjoyed our meal in silence until the bell rang, letting every student know to go to their next class.

Carlton said he’s got a free period after lunch so when the bell rang; I got off from my seat and said my goodbyes to him. I headed to my Algebra class, the one class I shared with Nat. Alright, he might not have shown up at the canteen, but I’d probably meet him in class.

It was my last chance to ask him why he’s so different to me.

Unsure and felling a pounding sensation in my heart, I walked into the class to find the teacher wasn’t there. I walked aimlessly toward an empty seat, gaining some usual taunts and slaps on my ass by the guys who usually begged for a simple quickie from me. After all, I’m Savannah Connor.

Sitting at my seat, my eyes quickly scanned the classroom and unfortunately I saw Nat was sitting in the front row, so it meant I couldn’t reach him or pass him a note.

I sighed and sunk on my seat, waiting for the teacher to come.

An hour-and-a-half later, in the middle of my counting the last problem that the teacher gave, the bell shocked me by its mighty ring. I shoved all my belongings inside my bag and pulled my hair into a high ponytail.

I saw Nat was slinging his backpack on his shoulder as he got up from his seat. He began to walk out from the class and so I rushed to catch up with him. As I was out of the class, I ran and grabbed Nat by shoulder, spinning him around before I collected all my guts to ask him.

“Hey,” I smiled awkwardly. Nat rolled his eyes when he saw it was me. “We need to talk?”

Nat sighed, “Look, Sava… I can’t give you a ride home, not today. Maybe another day. You can go home by bus”

“It’s not that…”

“Savannah, I really need to go home. I’ll see you later,” he said at last and spun on his heels. He adjusted the backpack on his shoulder and coursed out from the hall. I didn’t try to catch him, I just… I figured out that he didn’t want me at the moment, I mean, he literally avoided me, and I was kinda rejected.

Helpless, I sighed longingly and decided to go home by bus. I was wondering if I could hitch a ride with Carlton, but I canceled that plan.

I walked out from the school slowly, passed the front fountain, passed the parking lot, toward the road where the yellow bus usually would park to wait for the students.

On my way, as I passed the parking lot, a figure came up to me. Cam in his football team varsity jacket showed up in front of me. He had a big grin on his face and greeted me with an intimate hug.

“Hello there, kitten” he pecked my lips as if I was his girlfriend, “You need a ride home?” Yes, I do. But I passed the offer and shook my head at him.

“I can manage, but thanks, Cammy” I walked away from him but he followed me.

“You know, my car is a lot comfier than that stupid yellow bus or that rotten Ducati Nat owns. Come on, I’ll get you home” Cam smirked. “And I’m sure you will have a lot of fun with me,” he winked and grabbed my forearm trying to drag me to his car.

“Cameron, I want to be alone,” I said to him with a warning look.

Cam bought this and shook his head, “What’s wrong? You’re not usually like this. You’re usually easy. Come on, babe” he pulled at my hand with all his strength and I only followed since it was useless to struggle. He got the real muscles.

One simple thing is I never liked if boys said that ‘I wasn’t usually like this’ or that ‘I was usually easy’. Why they didn’t want to hear my real wants?

I snatched my hand back from him, “Cam, I said I wanna be alone. Thanks for the offer, but I’m not in the mood for that” because I knew what he wanted. Whenever he gave me a free ride he would demand sex from me or at least a blowjob. But before I could leave him, Cam grabbed my hand back and glared at me with a warning look. This is why I didn’t like to have sex with the same guy more than once, they would start to think that I was their property.

“Cam, it hurts, stop it!” I said as I tried my hardest to get him to let me go from his grasp.

“You’re making it hard for me,” he replied while he opened the passenger door and dragged me in there.

“Cam! I said it fucking hurts, you dick!” I groaned and threw him to the car. I was ready to leave but Cam being stubborn grabbed my wrist.

“Hey, hey, hey, watch your hand” a voice came with a roar of machine. I turned my head to find Nat with his helmet on his Ducati in front of Cam’s fabulous car. I only watched Nat oddly because honestly, I didn’t know what he wanted. I thought he didn’t want me and avoid me?

“It’s none of your business, dorkface. Run along before I want to punch your pretty little face” Cam smirked.

“It’s my girlfriend you can’t keep your hands off,” Nat spat defensively making me frown at him. Oh sure, absolutely, I forgot that Nat suffered from bipolar. “Come on, Sav. We should go home now. Your Mom is expecting me,” he added, giving me a look. I snatched back my hand and jogged to Nat’s Ducati. He gave me the spare helmet and let me wear it.

Cam heard about my Mom expecting Nat’s presence. He stopped there and looked taken aback. He easily bought the lie and became silent. Cam was actually a nice person, he respected my Mom.

“Savannah!” Cam cried, “I can give you a ride home, my ride is way way better than his. We can hit the ice cream parlor, my treat. How about that?” Cam’s tone softened and it was more like he was begging me.

“I’ve told you, Nat is my boyfriend, Cam. I’m sorry, but thanks for the offer. We’ll catch up on later” I smiled briefly at him and then tightened my grasp on Nat’s stomach before he drove away.



Nat hit the brake as his Ducati reached my house. I saw an unfamiliar car parked in the driveway. I thought maybe it’s Mike’s new car. Nat supported the Ducati with his long legs as he pulled off his helmet. I unclasped my helmet and gave it to him, saying my awkward thanks.

“Ice cream parlor? Seriously?” he chuckled, joking and trying to lower the tension between us.

“Uh yeah, sometimes he takes me out,” I replied nervously and smiled weakly, “Because ice cream is my favorite so... yes”

“Oh okay” he said as he drummed his fingers on the top of his helmet that he put in front of his stomach.

My eyes went ballistic, as I didn’t find anything to say because we’re so awkward, “So, guess I’ll see you later?” I said tapping my toes on the ground. “And it’s alright, you don’t have to pick me up again, I’ll find my way to the school tomorrow. Bye” I said at last before turning my body away from him.

Nat found his way to catch my arm and pulled me back, “Wait, it’s…. umm...” he gulped, “I’m sorry. I’m sorry for being an asshole to you,”

I tilted my head in confusion and realized that his bipolar side just kicked in. I sighed and hunched my back with long exhale.

“What’s wrong with you?” I asked curiously making eye contact with him.

He swallowed hard and faced down as if he tried to hide his reddened face. “I’m sorry, I wasn’t myself this morning, sorry for being jerk to you.”

“Nathaniel, tell me. What happened?” I knew that he was hiding something. He slowly turned his head to watch me. He looked hesitant for a moment before he bore with himself.

“I’m just so embarrassed of myself and…” he started

“About what?”

“It’s… I’m just scared about us having sex, I mean; I’m so embarrassed about it. I feel so wrong and I thought maybe being a jerk to you will make me feel better. However, I was wrong. It just made it worse,” he admitted as he scratched his nape continuously. A low groan escaped between his teeth and he was blushing.

I couldn’t help but giggle at him, “You’re such a nerd, Nat. You’re adorable” I covered my giggling mouth and started to laugh it out. Nat turned his head to me and crooked a smile to me.

“Alright, I’m a nerd, okay I get it. I’ve apologized and everything is clear now, yeah?”

“So, you’re not mad at me anymore?”

Nat smiled widely, “I wasn’t mad at you, I was only confused”

“Alright Nerd, so we’re cool”

“Hey, I’m maybe a nerd but I’m not a virgin anymore,” he grinned like a Cheshire cat which made me slap his forearm playfully.

“Yeah, but you blamed it on me. What am I supposed to do?” I chuckled and stuck out my tongue at him. “I’ll see you soon, kay? Thanks for the ride…” I said my goodbyes to him and walked away. But on my way up to my porch, I heard Nat calling me again so I jogged back to him.

"Aren't you forgetting something?" he asked with mischievous grin plastered on his face.

I racked my brain for ideas while staring at him. Okay I guess I had left the helmet and I… only stared at him, puzzled.

He rolled his eyes, "Come here." He leaned forwards and placed a peck on my lips. I was a bit shocked because we just did something that normal couple usually do. Did he just ask me for a goodbye kiss? I think Mr. McGregor needed to take him to the therapist, checking on his bipolar.

Nat smiled as we pulled away, but he brought back his lips, kissing me on the mouth a bit longer. In between my confusion, I started to believe he liked to kiss me which was wrong. Okay. But I wouldn’t lie if I said I didn’t enjoy the his feel of his lips. He started to grow on me; he learned his lesson about being good kisser.

As he pulled away, his face still inched away from mine, "See you tomorrow, River."

River. Did he just call me by my middle name? Only my Mom, my Dad and my Nana called me that. Dante once called me River and thought it would be a nice pet name for me but I never liked if my friends or anyone else called me that way. But strangely, I was okay if Nat called me with River. I felt somehow special.