No Strings Attached, Please?

“At least you could’ve gotten there on time, you fuckity fuck!” I heard someone’s voice and lots of commotion near to me, but I didn’t know whose voice it was.

“I didn’t know! God Dammit I didn’t know they were doing it to her. I only saw Nat and Carlton were there, they were beat by the dickless jocks there!”

“But you promised me, Kale! You promised me you would look after her, protect her when I’m not around!!” The voice I was kind of familiar with was barking dangerously as I heard a loud thud on the floor. I felt like opening my eyes, but I just couldn’t, maybe because I wasn’t fully gaining my conscious but I only could listen to the fight there.

It was Kale with someone, they were arguing.

“Dan, it wasn’t Kale’s entire fault! We didn’t know that Lynn would do that to her. We all know that Sava is a tough girl and she could fight her back, but not in this case. It’s the worst revenge she has ever done to her. I wish I could’ve gotten there on time before those tools raped her!” I know it was Carlton’s voice.

And wait.. they were talking to Dante. Dante was here, he was here near me, he…

I let my eyes open slowly and moaned in pain when I felt my hands. I looked up to my hands and they were bad wounds on there that were plastered with some bandages. It hurt a helluva lot, I couldn’t even describe it.

Abruptly the room was silent and I spotted all the attention was on me in an instant. I saw Dante was standing there beside the bed I was lying on, his face was worried as fuck, his eyes were showing some untold avalanched emotions. And they was also Kale who was stunned in his place, examining me, Carlton and also Nat who were sitting on the arm chair in the corner of room, all were staring at me with odd look.

I gasped and quickly covered myself under my blanket when my eyes were fixated with Dante’s. I gritted my teeth and started to whimper because I didn’t want Dante to see me like this. I was scared and whimpering. My body was shaking because I knew that he’s probably disgusted with me. I was raped—don’t forget in three ways—and I was a dirty whore. He probably hated me and I lost my chance to get him back into my life. But why was he was there in front of me?

I was a disgusting, cheap slut.

I jolted when his fingers pulled the blanket off my face. He was staring at me and quickly pulled me into a warm hug that I missed so much. I knew he already knew my story, I knew he felt bad about it, by the way I listened to their conversation. That’s why I instantly burst out in tears and enveloped him with tight hug.

I cried bloody murder and clutched onto his chest. His shirt was dampened by my tears but he didn’t pull away and rubbed my back in lovingly way instead. I didn’t usually cry over the pranks that Lynn always pulled, but this time it was the worst, I couldn’t handle it. Too many problems came through the door of my life. It started with Nat, then My mom’s news to marry Mike, and finally Lynn’s strike at me.

“Sshh.. it’s over now, Saves. Nobody’s gonna hurt you again” he calmed me down while he ran his rough fingers, from playing guitar, through my untangled hair.

“Aren’t you disgusted with me?” I winced at my own words as I looked away from his mesmerizing oceanic eyes. I gasped for air as I still cried in front of him and the boys. I saw Kale nodded his head at me and then led the twin brothers to leave me and Dante alone, and they were out from the room I didn’t recognize. It wasn’t my bedroom.

“Nooo.. Saves” he looked uneasy and was about to reach me again.

“I slept with three different guys, Dan” I hugged my knees and buried my face in between them. I realized that there’s no chance he could like me again.

“You didn’t sleep with them. They freaking raped you!” he was mad at himself while I saw he clenched his fist as if he was about to punch me in the face.

“I’m still dirty though… and you know? You hate me because I’m cheap” There you go, I wasn’t supposed to say that. Dante was right there in front of me, he cared about me and look what I said? I practically wanted him to hate me. Fuck mood swings!

Dante inhaled and exhaled in rhythm “Listen, I don’t want to discuss the past. We can forget about that, Saves. I never hated you. I’m here because I care about you, I’m worried about you and I feel bad because I can’t do anything to help you. I want you to know that I still… I…” he paused, making me turn to him. He looked like he was trying figure out what to say.

My heart leapt up when I expect him to say something along the lines of, ‘I still need you’, ‘I still like you’, ‘I still want you’ or even ‘I still love you’. But those words never came out.

“I still… reckon you as my good friend, Save” he said at last. And to be honest, his words made my heart ache. My eyes fell and I sighed silently. He just thought that I was his good friend. I didn’t want him to think that way, I wanted him to see me as a girl he used to love.

“Okay…” I said to him quickly. I held my breath and shut my eyes closed just to wipe the burning sensation that played inside my stomach. Would it awkward if I told him right now that I still love him?

“I’m worried if you’d get pregnant. I’m sure they didn’t use any condoms, right?” he raked his fingers through his glorious hair and huffed in frustration.

“I’m on pills…” my voice was super quiet. But I was sure that it was loud enough for him to hear. He was then silence.

“Right…” he cleared his throat and suddenly our atmosphere was really awkward. “Well.. I guess you want to clean up for a bit. I’m gonna be downstairs once you’re done. I’m gonna call Kat.” he told me as he walked away from my bed and disappeared from the room.

“I’m so stupid…” I told myself. I shouldn’t have told him that I was on pills. He might be thinking that I was sexually active and that means, he thought that I fucked random guys out there. Well, even if it’s true, I still didn’t want him to know that!

And who was Kat? I didn’t remember that I ever knew someone named Kat in my life. But it explained something. There was huge letters that spelled ‘KAT’ on the wall inside that room. This might be this Kat’s bedroom. Sure, the room was girly and less boyish so I wouldn’t assume it would be Dante or Kale’s bedroom. But why I was in this stranger Kat’s room? We didn’t even know each other. Why would she let me sleep on her bed?

The bedroom door slowly creaked opened to reveal a brunette girl. She looked familiar and I was sure she was about 15. She wasn’t my age, we didn’t know each other. But why I was in her room?

“I—I assume you’re Kat, the owner of this room” my voice was a wreck, tired of screaming with cloth inside my mouth. She only nodded and showed her sympathetic smile at me. “Who are you? Do we know each other?” I asked quietly.

She ventured over to her wardrobe and rummaged through it. She then pulled out some clothes and put it on the bed. She walked up to me and sat on the bed near me.

“It’s Kat McGregor” she spoke with her serene voice. McGregor? I could tell I quickly calculated who this girl was. She’s probably Carlton and Nat’s sibling. “I’m the only one of Nat and Carlton’s sister. And you don’t know me, but I know you because my brothers always talk about you” she smiled again.

So I presumed that I was in McGregor’s residence. I blushed a little and fidgeted my painful arms.

“Do you know why I’m here?” I hesitatingly asked.

She nodded slowly, “I heard everything. I’m sorry about that” the way she talked to me was different; she didn’t act like the girls her age. It felt like she was much more mature and I felt like I was talking to a girl my age, or even older than me.

“Lynn is the worst girl I’ve ever known. I’m glad I never pick fights with her. No offense, I’m not talking about you, I just don’t have any guts to fight her. I adore your boldness and I usually enjoy it when you fight back but this time, I just couldn’t believe that she could this to you,” she told me as she got my hand and held it.

She knew Lynn, and that meant that she went to my school as well. She might be a freshman or sophomore, something around lowerclassman compared to my senior year.

“She was being overdramatic. I only made some little scene with her between Nat but she took it really bad” I tried to explain to her, but I knew she wouldn’t know the real thing that was happening.

“I know about it” she knew? Wow. “It’s about my stupid brother, right? The grumpy one” she added which caused me let out a painful laugh when she referred to Nat. “I guess you did the right thing to stand up for my brother, she shouldn’t have said those things about my brother. She thinks she has the most dignity and highest self-esteem here and easily let everyone down”

I nodded and sighed, “But Nat isn’t too pleased about that”

“Ditto. He complains about you a lot when he’s home. He never sees this as a good thing for him. He’s such a thankless dick and too blind about his obsession towards Lynn. You should see his bedroom, he freaking stalked Lynn since 8th grade and he knows everything about her. His wall is full of her pictures. He’s a virgin, okay?” Kat smirked.

I couldn’t help but muffle a laugh at her comment about her oldest brother. But she’s right that Nat was a thankless asshole. And I was quite shocked to hear about his obsession towards Lynn. No wonder why he was so mad at me about objecting Lynn when Nat practically saw Lynn as a Goddess. He worshipped her.

“Well, I think you should clean up. You might need some help,” she said to me before helping me out from the bed.

“You don’t have to, I can clean up myself”

“I just want to help you,” she insisted and then I was defeated. She led me to her bathroom inside her bedroom and helped me shower. I needed to wash my hair because oh God, it smelled so much like jocks.

Half an hour later, I was already decent in her clothes. She combed my wet hair as if she was my dear sister. I didn’t have a sister, it might be fun to have one. Kat told me many things about her brothers. And all I could sum up was, Nat and Carlton loved their baby sister so much.

And there was this story about Carlton and Nat who usually argued about me. Carlton always stood up for me when Nat was annoyed with me. I could easily say that Nat hated me a lot, he could talk and name drop me the whole day while his siblings listened. I sighed and shrugged. I still couldn’t grasp the major reason why he hated me so much. All I could remember, I never made fun of his obsession towards Lynn.

Kat brought me out from her room and said something about dinner. I wasn’t comfortable knowing that I stayed in McGregor’s residence. What would Mrs. McGregor think about me being a wreck and to see her sons’ bruised face? She would think that her sons had a slut for a friend. Kat then led me to the dining room to find the guys were talking intensely while they enjoyed some Chinese Express. Kale was chugging his bottle of beer when he spotted me. Kale smiled briefly and then patted the vacant seat next to him.

This time, my eyes found their way to flicker from face to face. There sat Carlton and Nat who were enjoying their Chinese Express, Kale and Dante who still argued with beer in their hand. Kat told me to sit while she brought me my own Chinese Express. She told me about her parents not being available at the moment because they went to Maine to fix something with the family. So we ended up having Chinese Express as dinner instead of decent grub for usual dinner.

When I sat, Kale smiled at me and rubbed the top of head, he told me to eat and he decided to leave with Dante sat next to me. I started to open the box of my meal and got the chopstick. What made me jolted was when Dante purposely slung his hand around my shoulder and made a quick movement to kiss my temple. I could tell my heart leapt up and I could get a heart attack any time now.

He whispered something sweet through my ear and wished me to get better. I only took step to watch his beautiful eyes and couldn’t help but blushing at his demeanor towards me. I acted up like a little girl with high hidden excitement when Dante treated me that way. He really cared about me. I wish I could kiss him right there but I ended up hugging him for a thank you.

Moments later I heard a loud groan come from in front of me. My head quickly snapped up at the voice and found Nat rolled his eyes annoyingly.

“Still not enough getting three dicks inside your lousy clit and you expect another dick from him?” he snorted as he gained a punch on the shoulder by his brother to tell him to shut up.

I couldn’t help to gape at him. He seriously just commented badly after what happened to me? Sometimes I could be a bitch, the tough one. But sometimes, I was just a fragile and hopeless girl. After what happened to me, I just couldn’t think or do anything to him. I wished I could be bold enough to spit back at him.

“Shut up Nat!” Dante growled.

Nat scoffed, “She fucked those three jocks, betcha soon she’s gonna have some nasty herpes, and you still want this herpes carrier, Dan? Hilarious” he commented which made my heart skip a beat. I held back my anger and also my tears.

“Nat, enough from here. She’s been through a lot of things” Carlton glared murderously.

“You’re not Mom, Carl. And I don’t care what she has been through. I just can’t stand a freshly fucked bitch’s disgusting smell around our house—“ he started again but was cut off when I stood up in instant from my seat, clenching my fists.

“You’re such a miserable virgin!!!” I screamed at him and couldn’t help to slip a tear from the corner of my eyes. My words surprised him as jaw was wide open. I quickly wiped my teary eyes and stormed out from the dining room. I sobbed as I walked rapidly toward the front door and left Kale with his confusion look in the living room.

I heard a couple shouts calling my name, but I ignored them. That night, I was so fragile and sensitive. Why would he say those horrible things to me when he actually knew what happened to me? I remembered the time when I was in Tyler’s SUV, he opened the door and stared at me with his pitiful look, like he was sorry and wanted to help me. But why did he just say something like that to me? Why? Why did Nathaniel McGregor hate me so much? He even had called me an unplanned child, which tore me apart.

It was the second time I burst out at people after they called me names. First was Geoff, then Nat. I felt like I finally lost myself. I finally lost my strength to be tough and be as strong as people thought I was. They were wrong, everyone was wrong to tell me that I was strong enough to hold my emotional barrier, like I said, I was actually only a fragile girl in the end.

“Savannah!” a familiar voice was calling me, I turned my head for a bit and found Kat was running toward me with her sweater.

“Leave me alone, Kat” I muttered while I quickened my pace.

“No Sava,” she caught up to me as she held my forearm. “Just get back inside” she finally stopped me. I frantically shook my head and wiped my wild tears.

“I’m going home, Kat”

“Are you sure your mom wouldn’t get mad if she found you like this?”

“I don’t fucking care! I just don’t want to see your fucking brother! He always acts as if he knows about my life and never cares about me at al. He enjoys torturing me and I’m not in the mood to join in with his immaturity!”

Kat sighed deeply, “I’m sorry about my brother. You know how full of himself he is. It was a mistake, Sav. He actually cares about you, he wasn’t himself after he and Carlton brought you to home. He said he’s worried about you”

With that I couldn’t help but burst in miserable laughter “Nat? Nat McGregor is worried about me? You must be drunk, Kat. I’m over it. I’m going home”

“I’m being serious, Sava. Nat is actually worried about you. And the purpose you’re brought to our house is because we don’t want your mother to be worried. Dante has called her and told her that you’re at a sleepover at my house with the guys and she’s okay with that”

I snorted and shook my head, “Nat’s worried about me? He’s really weird at showing it. And it doesn’t matter if I go home, I could just tell Mom that I canceled it. Now, I’m going. Bye Kat” I turned my heels and started to walk again.

“No, no, no, Sava. Just please stay. We could share bed together. You’d be in my room. And anyway, Dante is expecting you. He wants to be near with you tonight. He’s staying for the night. You know how worried he is about you. Just please stay for… for..” she paused for a moment “For Dante’s sake?” she furrowed her eyebrows and showed her pleading yet insisting expression.

I was stuck there for a moment without a voice. I was unsure what I should do with this. On one side I wanted to stay with Dante, but another side tried to force me to get home because I was irked to see Nat.

“Please?” Kat held my hand. I thought she knew that Dante was my weakness.

After a long moment, I sighed longingly and was totally defeated. Maybe I could just ignore Nat and focused on Dante. It’s my chance to have him on my side again, after what happened between us. And we both knew that we were still in love. I just thought that it might be the right thing to keep his company. I nodded slowly letting Kat smile and envelope me with a thank you hug.

I followed Kat’s pace in silence until we were back on McGregor’s porch. Kat led me to the front door and let me to go in. It was a cold night, even though it wasn’t winter. I could feel a cold wind sneak inside Kat’s clothes that I wore that night. As my feet got into the living room, I found Carlton was there. He said he was relieved that I wanted to get back. I only shrugged my shoulder and then annoyingly shoved my butt on the couch in that living room, hoping I wouldn’t see the asshole named Nat.

Kat excused herself and sauntered over to the kitchen. Me and Carlton were silent for a moment before he cleared his throat and darted his chocolaty eyes that were similar to his brother’s. He adjusted his rimmed glass and smiled briefly at me. He fidgeted his hand on his lap and began to say something.

“I’m sorry about Nat. He’s just… being himself. He didn’t mean to make you upset. He’s just…”

I didn’t reply to him and only stared at the saltwater aquarium in the corner of room.

“Well actually, tonight he’s not really being himself. He’s actually worried about you” Carlton explained something to me in resemblance to what Kat had told me before. I scoffed and rolled my eyes. And a moment later as Carlton tried to explain to me about how things went haywire between me and Nat, Dante showed himself from inside the house. He shot me his genuine smile while I found his hand was on someone’s collar, dragging them out from house.

“Let me go, Kavner! Fuck off!” Nat’s collar was tightly in Dante’s grip. He looked annoyed and shot me a fretful look.

“Nat has something to say to you, Sava-ave” Dante informed while I could still see Nat was battling to throw Dante off of him. Kale joined the room with Kat. Kale was holding Nat’s hand for dear life as if Nat was a fugitive and he needed to get Nat back to jail.

“NO! No, I don’t!” Nat growled and kicked Kale to fuck off. Kale slapped Nat’s back of head in annoyance.

“Dude, you promised!” Kale told Nat and groaned at Nat’s immaturity. “Say sorry to her!” Kale and Dante then pushed his body towards where I sat. I only watched his fed up look, as he didn’t dare look me in the eyes.

“No!” he gritted his teeth together while his face burned in sheer embarrassment. I kind of lost there, wait a minute.. Did I just see Nat blushing? And then I could see Nat’s head was cocked when Kale threw the back of his head onto the cushion, forcing him to say his apology at me.

“OKAY! I’m sorry!” Nat groaned and clenched his teeth while he stood in front of me. He didn’t look at me but stared out the window as if he’s wasn’t honestly apologizing to me which I assumed wasn’t the case anyway. I only sighed lowly and shook my head, showing my disappointment.

“Geez! Who are you saying sorry to Nathaniel Sean?!” Kale pressed. He half screamed in a way that fathers would to teach their sons. I could see that Dante was holding back his laughter with pursed lips into a thin line as he saw how Nat was acting.

“I’m sorry, Savannah!” Nat groaned again. Did he just stomp his feet on the ground? Whoa, he’s real mature.

“Nat…” then it was Dante’s turn. He warned Nat with his tone. “What did I tell you? Be a gentleman!” I couldn’t believe that Dante and Kale could do this to Nat.

Nat couldn’t help but hiss at Dante and Kale, “Alright! I’m sorry, Savannah! I’m really sorry! I’m sorry for being rude to you, I’m sorry about what I’ve said to you, I don’t know what happened to me. I’m sorry about making you cry. It’s just… I’m sorry” Nat blabbered randomly but it made me form a crooked smile.

Well, at least he apologized. I could tell it was the first time he said he was sorry to me ever. He never did that before. Although I was pretty upset at Nat, I did enjoy seeing what Dante and Kale had forced Nat to do.

“HAPPY NOW, GUYS?!” Nat yelled to Kale and Dante who were already laughing then nodded at Nat.

Nat nagged like an old lady silently and then disappeared upstairs, probably to his room leaving Dante and Kale laughing at Nat’s childish behavior. “We never had to push a seventeen year old and teach him how to say sorry before” Dante spoke and chuckled.

“And that’s not an easy job” Kale added. Carlton and Kat then laughed at this as they commented about Nat’s behavior. I could tell that Nat was wailing inside his room. He must be really embarrassed about this.

Although Carlton and Nat had some bruised looks, some plasters and bandages were displayed on their face, I could still hear their funny jokes. I mean Carlton’s jokes about Nat being the nagging old lady.

“Well, I’m relieved to hear that” I grinned weakly. At least Nat McGregor apologized to me and took back his words.

After the scene between me and Nat ended, Nat never showed up when the guys were gathering in the family room. We played some Star Wars movies and chatted until past midnight before Kat excused herself and decided to hit the sack earlier.

I was in deep conversation with Carlton while Kale and Dante watched the movie silently as their eyes were slightly looking sleepy. Carlton told me about how he found the commotion in Tyler SUV and he saw me there. Carlton said he dragged Nat with him and went to talk with Lynn.

But Lynn and her girlfriends were being difficult and didn’t let them help me. That’s why Carlton stepped forward and opened the SUV door to reveal Tyler. Carlton pulled the naked Tyler out from the car and started to beat the shit out of him, but it turned out into Tyler beating Carlton mercilessly because he’s stronger and more athletic than Carlton. Nat tried to separate them away but he got punches thrown his way from Brad and Adam

The commotion ended when Nat begged Lynn to stop everything, and Carlton said that Lynn pitied Nat so she stopped her jock friends. And then Kale came when he realized something was wrong from a distance. Carlton said I was already unconscious when they got me back and because they didn’t want my mother to be worried and get mad, they decided to bring me to McGregor’s.