What You Do to Me

With two days off in sunny (and hot) Florida, I had taken Travis up on his offer to escape the fish bowl that was Warped Tour, to get away from it all and really relax. He and the other WTK boys were ecstatic, as our break came only two hours away from their hometown of Bradenton, and somehow I had allowed them to convince me to join their road trip home. I think it was the promise of home cooked food that really got me, one can only live on PopTarts and Chipotle for so long. So while most of tour headed off to the fun filled cities of Orlando and Miami, I loaded into a van with Hunter, Danny, Drew, Scooter, T-Fair and Travis, heading to the small town on the gulf coast. There were three weeks left of Warped Tour. The summer had flown by extremely quickly once I realized life was too short to be grouchy all the time, so I was taking any opportunity I could to hang out with the boys. Who knew when I would see them again?

The Kings bounced around in their seats, clearly excited at the chance to see their family and friends again, and their enthusiasm rubbed off on me. I found myself grinning as I stared out the window at the passing palm trees and marshlands, hoping to see an alligator somewhere along the side of the road.

“Happy to get away from tour for a bit?” Travis asked, nudging me slightly in the side with his elbow. I beamed up at him.

“You have no idea. It’s just so hectic, it will be nice to have some peace and quiet for a bit.”

Travis threw his head back and gave an amused laugh. “Right, well, good luck getting any peace and quiet at my house. Between Elvis and my mom you’ll be lucky if you have any alone time.”

“Oh, I thought you said it was an ‘oasis of rest and relaxation,’” I mocked.

“Well,” Travis blushed, biting his lip ring. “I may have exaggerated a bit to get you to agree to come. I was worried you would rather head off to Disney with Maggie and Holden, and frankly, I wanted you to myself for a bit.”

“No, I spend enough time with my brother and Maggie. Besides, I’m not a huge Disney fan.” Lie – I love all things Disney and had since Alex had that marathon for me. I just didn’t feel like having those memories forced down my throat by going to the Magic Kingdom.
Travis, knowing me all too well (not mention knowing my past history with Disney) shot me a look but pressed me no further, instead diving headfirst back into the new book I had bought him. I had seen it in Atlanta at a flea market on one of our days off and knew immediately that it was perfect for him – The Book of Useless Information.

“Did you know that the African Penguin used to be called the Jackass Penguin?”

“I bet he didn’t have many friends,” Drew replied, playing around on his laptop in the row behind us.

“And in 18th century Britain, you could take out insurance policy on going to hell.”

“Why did you get him this book?” Danny asked me from the passenger seat, groaning slightly.

“Because it keeps him entertained,” I replied, patting Travis on the shoulder lightly, like a mother would to her young child.

“And before soccer referees had whistles, they would wave handkerchiefs when there was a foul. Can you imagine what that would be like now? It would be pandemonium!”

We listened to Travis rattle off random facts for another half hour, before Scooter had finally given up and plugged his iPod into the stereo system and playing an eclectic collection of songs. After an empowered rendition of “I Will Survive,” a call and response “Paradise By The Dashboard Light” and a few other classic songs (I was completely in love with Scooter’s playlist selection), a song I instantly recognize started. Drums opened it, quickly followed by the guitars.

Wide awake, my mistake, so predictable. You were fake, I was great – nothing personal.

“Ah! The new All Time Low song! Their new record comes out next week, but we got an advanced copy,” T-Fair said over his shoulder, answering a question I hadn’t asked. Maybe my complete silence had made him think I didn’t know what it was.

“I love these guys!” Travis cheered, leaning forward and turning up the volume.

Goosebumps spread across my skin as Alex’s gorgeous voice flooded the van. This was one of the few songs I had heard when I snuck into their recording studio all those months back, and because of it, I knew what to expect. I wanted to tune it out, focus on the scenery we were passing, but unfortunately for me, my ears honed in on the lyrics.

Despite knowing it wasn’t about me, the words coming out of Alex’s mouth still cut me like a knife.

I’m wasted, wasting time. Moving on while you’re left behind. A pretty face but the chase ain’t worth the prize.

My hands were balled into fists so tight me nails were cutting into my palms. Luckily, the boys didn’t seem to notice that I was on the verge of tears. Once again, Alex was showing up at the worst possible time.

Don’t be so sentimental, no, this love was accidental, so give it up, this was never meant to be more than a memory for you.

My chest tightened, and I forced myself to stare out the window; forced myself not to cry. I hadn’t cried in months, and I wasn’t going to start now.

Cause there’s nothing surgery can do, when I break your little heart in two.
“We’re getting dropped off first,” Travis informed me, and suddenly I was able to breath again. I watched as the ‘Welcome to Bradenton’ sign whiz past, and felt myself relax a bit more. Hopefully, no more All Time Low songs would play and I could just get on with enjoying my mini-vacation.

Ten minutes later, the van pulled up outside an average sized home, with yellow shutters and a beautiful flower garden surrounding the wrap-around front porch. It looked so homey, lived-in, so comfortable, so...real. Ever since I could remember, I had been living in large, cold, impersonal houses, and whenever my dad drew sick of one, we would have another built – bigger, more contemporary. Travis’ house, however, looked exactly like the house I had always wanted. The memories he must have had of playing in the yard with his friends, sitting on the porch during a thunderstorm, making cookies with his mom in the kitchen – all things I never really got to experience.

“Home sweet home,” Travis smiled, once we were out of the van and had said good bye to the boys.

“I love your house,” I told him, as we walked toward the front door.

“Well, then my mom will love you. This place is her pride and joy. It’s like another child.”
Travis grinned as he pushed the front door open and dropped his overnight back on the hard wood floor on the foyer. “Mom! Dad! I’m home!” he called through the house, which was open and bright with the morning sun. At first, it seemed like no one was home, but then we heard footsteps approaching very quickly from down the hallway. Mrs. Clark rounded the corner and headed straight for her sun.

“Travis Clark!” she cried before smacking him on the shoulder.

“Ouch!” He jumped away from her, rubbing his shoulder.

“I said no more tattoos,” she scolded. “I saw that TweetTweet picture thing you sent. And I told you no more tattoos.” Despite her annoyance, Julie still smiled lovingly at her son, clearly happy to see him after all this time.

“Mom, this is Jency,” Travis said, placing a hand on the small of my back as he introduced me. I stepped away from his touch and held my hand out to his mother.

“Julie,” she greeted, smiling still. “I’m so happy that you could make it. Travis talks non-stop about you!” Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Travis’ face matched the color of his hair, and I giggled.

“Travis talks non-stop, in general.”

“Yes, this is very true,” Julie agreed, looking at her son. “Sweetheart, why don’t you take Jency’s things up to your room and let her get settled. I’m making lunch but it won’t be ready for a little while now.”

“Can’t I set her up in the guest room?” Travis asked, picking our bags up off the floor.

“Not if you want her sleeping in between your brother and sister-in-law.”

“Garrett and Amanda are here?” Travis began ascending the stairs and jerked his head, signaling for me to follow him.

“Yep, they are out by the pool with Rory,” Julie replied after us. “Come down and see everyone once you get settled.”

I followed Travis upstairs and he led me down the hallway to the last door on the left. Walking in, it was entirely clear that this was his bedroom. Band posters covered the wall, with a smattering of back stage passes stuck here and there; two guitars sat in the corner of the room, next to a record player and stack of vinyls; a soccer ball lay on the floor at the foot of the bed, and the dresser was covered in CDs, pictures, guitar picks and assorted bracelets. The clutter made me think of what it must look like inside Travis’s brain – a mess of music, family, and Florida.

“Looks like my mom cleaned up a bit for me,” he smiled, setting my duffel on the bed. “The sheets should be clean and everything. The bathroom is just two doors down the hall and I’ll grab you a towel and stuff later.”

“Cool, thanks,” I replied. “But where are you going to sleep?”

“On the couch, I guess.”

“No, Travis,” I shook my head. It’s your house, you sleep in the bed and I’ll stay on the couch.” I wasn’t having him miss out on sleeping in his own bed after months in a cramped bus bunk.

“Jen, you’re my guest,” he argued. “My mom would never let you sleep on the couch. She’d give up her own bed before that happened, I don’t think you want to sleep with my dad. That might be awkward.”

“Just a bit,” I agreed, laughing slightly.

“Besides,” he continued, coming over and pulling me into a hug. “It make me feel like a gentleman to offer up my bed to a lovely lady such as yourself.”

“Well aren’t you sweet,” I patted his back and pulled away, guessing it was settled then. “Let’s go downstairs, I want to meet the rest of your family.

Travis happily obliged, and we spent the better part of the afternoon out by the pool, eating burgers and laughing at little Rory Clark. The four year old was a riot, and clearly adores his uncle Travis, who dove into the pool fully clothed to rescue a drowning Batman figurine. Garrett and Amanda were incredibly sweet people, and Travis’s sister, Dana showed up a little later with Elvis the Chihuahua, who had just been to the vet. It was great for me to see the family dynamic there – something I never really had in my unconventional life. It was definitely something I envied, and I told Travis that as we drove out to the beach that evening.

“You’ve got to have some family memories,” he said, as he turned the Jeep Wrangler onto the beach access road. The sea breeze whipped through my hair, and I yanked it back into a messy ponytail.

“I mean, I have some. But they are all at concerts, interviews, or talent shows. I don’t remember ever going as a family to my brother’s baseball games, eating Thanksgiving all together, even just taking a family trip to the beach.”

I slipped off my sandals before hopping out of the Jeep, letting the sand squish in between my toes and relishing the liberating feeling. When Travis didn’t say anything right away, I turned to look at him. He was watching me, with a sad look on his face.

“What’s wrong?” I asked quickly.

“Nothing,” he said quickly, shaking his head and the look away. “If we walk up the beach this way we can see Anna Maria Island and grab some dinner up on the pier.”

As we walked along the beach, the sun beginning to sink lower and lower in the sky, I felt incredibly at peace. The constant ringing in my ears caused by Warped Tour had been replaced by the soothing sound of crashing waves and Travis’s energetic chatter. We talked about anything under the sun – that was one thing I loved about him, it didn’t matter what we talked about, he always had the same boyish enthusiasm.

“Do you think seagulls would go extinct if people stopped coming to the beach?” He asked, as we walked by an elderly man throwing French Fried on the boardwalk to dozens of ravenous birds.

“It’s very possible,” I replied, swinging my arms and skipping ahead of him. I adored the beach, and the crisp breeze and warm sun had revitalized me, even after only a few hours. I felt like I was ready to take on the world. Travis jogged along after me, laughing and eventually snaking his arm along mine before interlacing our fingers.

I shot him a look, and when he was staring at me, I glanced pointedly at our hands.

“I know, I know,” He said, holding up his free hand in surrender. “Just friends. But friends can hold hands, it’s not unheard of.”

My brain yelled at me to take my hand away, that this was sending the wrong message, but for some reason I left it there, and we continued on up the beach. We grabbed corndogs and ice cream on the pier, and stood watching the sunset and going over lyrics for our song. The evening had been everything I wanted out of it – fun, relaxing, rejuvenating – and was only perfected when a passing pelican decided to shit on Travis’ shoulder. I nearly died laughing, choking on my ice cream cone and wiping tears from my eyes.

“Urgh!” Travis grimaced, trying to yank his shirt off without getting of the offending feces on his skin. I laughed even harder, and only managed to stop he threatened me with the soiled shirt, flinging it at me forcefully. In an effort to avoid it, I swatted the garment away – right over the side of the pier.

“Hey!” He cried, leaning over the edge. “That was my favorite!” I shrugged innocently, and started to back away, not liking the mischievous look now on his face. His long, lanky legs caught him up to my quickly, though, and Travis then proceeded to shove my ice cream into my face. I smeared what I could on his chest.

“It’s cold!” I screeched, trying to squirm away from him, but his strong arms held me in place, I he wiped mint chocolate chip down my cheek. I burst out laughing again, but stopped abruptly when his lip approached my face, and he kissed away the ice cream smeared around my lips. I froze, too shocked to respond, as his grip loosened and eyes fluttered shut before moving in again.

“No,” I ordered, shoving myself away. “No,” I repeated, shaking my head in disbelief and wiping stickiness away from my face with the back of my hand.

“Shit,” Travis groaned, rubbing his hands down his bright red face. “I’m so, so sorry, Jen, I didn’t mean it, I-”

“Stop,” I interrupted, still staring at him angrily. “Don’t. Let’s just go home.”

He nodded and I turned and walked away from him, blood boiling. The walk back to the car and most of the ride home was virtually silent. The only sound was radio, which Travis flipped continuously, trying to keep himself occupied. I stared at the window at the dark sky, unable to believe that despite my repeated denial of any romantic intentions with him, he was still trying things. It really pissed me off.

I tried to focus on something else, instead reading the road signs that we past, anything to keep my mind off Travis. It wasn’t really working, however, until one sign in particular caught my eye.

Bonita Springs – 57 miles

“Bonita Springs?” I muttered, squinting ahead to see if there were any other signs giving more details.

“What?” Travis asked, sounding apprehensive.

“You live near Bonita Springs?” I asked, eyes brows furrowed in concentration.

“Yeah, it’s like an hour and half south of here. Why?”

I didn’t answer right away, so he asked again. “Do you know people who live there?”

I nodded slightly, my mind moving a million miles an hour.

“Who?”

“My grandparents,” I replied quietly, suddenly feeling out of breath.

“You’re grandparents?” He asked. “I’ve never heard you talk about them before. How come you did mention they lived in Florida, we could have gone to visit them.”

“I forgot they lived here,” I said, honestly. “I haven’t talked to them in a decade, the sign just made me remember the town name.”

“A decade?” Travis asked in disbelief. “Why?”

I shrugged. “After my mom left, they just stopped calling, stopped sending birthday cards, stopped visiting for Christmas. I don’t even know if they’re still alive.”

I crossed my arms across my chest and stared back out the window, grateful we were pulling back into Travis’s neighborhood. While thinking about my grandparents had been an interesting distraction, I was still furious with my red-headed friend, as soon as we parked in the driveway I got out of the car and headed into the house without another word. I had too much to think about to deal with him at the moment.

“Jency?” Travis asked, finally making it upstairs behind me. I was getting my toothbrush from my bag when he poked his head in the door, and continued to do so, barely acknowledging his presence.

“Goodnight, Travis,” I said shortly, finding my brush and pushing past him to get out the door.

“Night,” he replied softly and I shut the bathroom door behind me. So much for relaxing vacation.