What You Do to Me

“Pete!” I cried, launching myself at him and knocking us both back onto the pavement. He grunted again, but wrapped his arms around me just as tightly as I had him. I was thrilled to see him, as it felt like we hadn’t been together forever, even though we had seen each other just a few months ago. But I was a different me now, and I realized just how much time I had wasted with him. It was time to make up for it.

“What are you doing here?” I asked happily, hugging him closer to me. We were sitting there on the pavement, arms wrapped around each other and grinning like fools. My smile was out of excitement of seeing one of my best friends again; his was from seeing me happy again.

“Tour dates lined up,” he replied, beaming at me. “Thought I would stop by and surprise you. And look what happens, you knock me to the ground.”

“Aw, I’m sorry, Petey,” I giggled, grabbing his hand as he helped me up.

“What were you running for anyway?”

“There you are!” We both turned as blasts of water hit us full force in the chests, crying out at the unexpected coldness. The barrage stopped, though, as fast as it had started.

“Oh shit, sorry Pete,” Travis apologized sheepishly before pointing at Quinn. “It was his idea.” The drummer shot him a betrayed look and pouted slightly.

“Chill guys, it’s cool,” Pete grinned, wiping some water droplets from his face. “I was fucking run over by Jency, so a little water is really no big deal. Plus, it’s hot as balls out here.”

Pete wrapped an arm around my shoulders and we started walking with the boys toward the direction of the busses. Quinn, after catching up with Pete, ran off quickly after Sierra, who had just emerged from her bus and was heading toward stage for VersaEmerge’s set. I then went about filling Pete in on that development as well as others that had begun since the start of tour, with Travis throwing in comments here and there, unable to stay silent that long.

“And what about you?” Pete asked me, ruffling my hair. “You’re a bit cheerier than the last time I saw you.”

“It’s cause she’s hanging out with me 24/7,” Travis grinned, and Pete shot me a look.

“Oh, really?” he asked, with a raised eyebrow.

“Travis is an amazing friend,” I replied, smiling at both of them. “He’s really helped me out these past couple of months.”

“Good, I’m glad.” Pete grinned down at me like a proud father. “Now, I have to ask you Jency, what time exactly is your set because I am dying to see you guys perform.”

“4:30. And that would be absolutely amazing!” We had arrived at We the King’s bus, and as Travis opened the door, we were greeted with familiar music from the front lounge. Pete rolled his eyes, as Travis chuckled, but I sucked in breath as I was struck with an idea.
The best idea ever.

Four hours later, I was standing in front of a crowd, not too big considering we were on one of the smaller stages, but large enough of a following to have created a great, buzzing by the end of the set. I took a large gulp of luke warm water from the bottle sitting on one of the amps, before wiping my mouth with the back of my arm and chucking the half empty bottle into the crowd. I watched as thirsty, sweaty, concert-goers dove for it, and wondered if by chance there was a garden hose I could use to spray them down. It was fucking hot out.

“So,” I said, taking my mic off of its stand and walking toward the front of the stage to talk to the crowd. “We have one last song left, and usually we would play one of our own, but I was hanging out with We the Kings today” – I paused for the chorus of cheers and screaming girls – “and heard a song that has really influenced me, by a band that has definitely had the biggest impact on our career since we started.” I took a breath and wiped the salty sweat on my eyes before putting the mic back on the stand and positioning my fingers on my guitar. “So we decided to pay a little tribute to them. Maybe you guys will recognize it.”

I nodded at Holden and Eric, both of whom had stripped off their shirts during my little speech (much to the pleasure of the ladies in the crowd) to combat the heat. Then, I began to sing.

I’m good to go and I’m going nowhere fast.
It could be worse, I could be taking you there with me.
I’m good to go, but it looks like I’m still on my own.
I’m good to go for something golden,
though the motions I’ve been going through have failed.
And I’m coasting on potential toward the wall, at a hundred miles an hour...

And I said....

Two more weeks, my foot is in the door, yeah
I can’t sleep in the wake of Saturday.
Saturday, when these open doors were open-ended.
Saturday, when these open doors were open-ended.

Of course, the crowd sang along to every word. This was one of the first covers that we had learned as a band, and as I listened to the instruments it was clear that the boys still knew it just as well as I did, and were just as impassioned by it. The crowd was going wild, and I could see passers-by stopping to listen. Throwing my hair back out of my face with a whip of my head, I closed my eyes and poured all my appreciation into the song. I knew Pete was listening.

Pete and I attacked the lost Astoria with promise and precision
And a mess of youthful innocence.
And I read about the afterlife,
but I never really lived more than an hour

And I said....

Two more weeks, my foot is in the door, yeah
I can’t sleep in the wake of Saturday.
Saturday, when these open doors were open-ended.
Saturday, when these open doors were open-ended.

The break in the song came and I wrapped my hands around my mic to steady myself as Holden, on lead guitar, took over. I was overheated, most likely dehydrated, but it didn’t matter. I knew what was coming next.

“I hope you guys don’t mind,” I yelled into the mic, trying to have my voice carry over the screams of the crowd. “But, because there is no way that we can do this song or this band justice, we asked our good friend to help us out. As the music roared louder, I screamed louder, only to have everything drowned out by the erupting crowd. “Please welcome, PETE WENTZ!”

The din was amazing, even from such a small crowd, but when Pete stepped on stage behind Holden he brought a whole new level of performance with him. He was king of the stage. He roared his lyrics as I sang them, and I felt shivers over

And I read about the afterlife,
But I never really lived.
And I read about the afterlife,
But I never really lived.

Pete came over to me and wrapped an arm around my shoulder, singing along with me as we finished out the song. Singing with someone, to me, was one of the most intimate experiences, and sharing this moment with Pete, one of my best friends, became the highlight of my summer.

Two more weeks, my foot is in the door,
Me and Pete in the wake of Saturday.
Saturday, when these open doors were open-ended.
Saturday, when these open doors were open-ended.
Saturday...

As the song ended, the crowded erupted into even louder cheers then before, and Pete pulled me into a sweaty hug. It was easily the best set of the tour, and I told the spectators just that. With a wave and one more thank you, we left the stage, the boys all high-fiving each other and me smiling happily at what we had just experienced.

“How’d I do?” I asked Pete as he handed me a water bottle.

“You were epic, kid,” he replied. “And I wish I could stay longer, but I have to make my rounds. You know how it is, right?”

“Ah, yes, your worshiping fans await,” I giggled, knowing he meant to go say hello to the other Decaydance and FBR bands on tour.

“What can I say?” He smiled his mega-watt smile and kissed me on the forehead. “Ugh, gross, go get a shower, you smell like ass.”

“Love you too, Pete,” I giggled. I watched as he shook hands with my band mates and then began to walk off, but not before he turned and looked at me over his shoulder.

“It’s good to have you back, Jen.”

The smile on my face, if possible, widened, and I squealed as I was suddenly lifted off the ground by a strong pair of arms.

“That! Was! So! Cool!” Travis cried, swinging me back and forth. “Do you think he would sing that with us if I asked him nicely?” He set me back on my feet and I turned to him, linking my arm with his as we started to walk back to my bus. My head felt woozy, and I knew I needed to get some water into me.

“No, he doesn’t like you as much.”

Travis held a hand to his heart dramatically.

“Sorry, but it’s the truth,” I shrugged. “It’s widely known that I am Pete Wentz’s favorite.”

“Well, he has good taste then, cause you’re my favorite too.”

I laughed and felt myself blush slightly. In order to prevent Travis from noticing, I shoved him playfully and took a step away. He chuckled, but time seemed to slow as I saw Cassadee Pope walked through a group of people beyond him. I didn’t know why, but seeing her made my heart stop. Realization hit. Believers Never Die was in town. Members of Fall Out Boy and Hey Monday were at Warped visiting their friends. That meant there was a great possibility that All Time Low were here too, somewhere among the crowds of fans, bands, and busses.

My smile fell, and cold took over my entire body. I couldn’t move as panic set in. Travis noticed the change in my demeanor and turned to face me, concerned look on his face.

“Jen? Are you okay? You’ve gone really pale.”

I couldn’t respond to him. It was just like out of scene from a movie. Everything was in slow motion. As he took a step toward me, Travis’s body shifted and I had a new line of vision for a split second. Maybe it was the heat, my exhaustion. Maybe it was a mirage, but I imagined I saw the four of them, strolling across the lot in our direction. The image was gone, however, when Travis stepped directly in front of me and put his hands on my shoulders.

“Jen, do you want me to get you some water?”

“Huh?” I shook my head and looked up at him. “What? No, I’m fine. I just need to get into the air conditioning and lay down for a bit, I think.”

“Alright, well, let’s get going.” I glanced around him quickly, but saw nothing. I really was losing it.

Travis walked along behind me in a protective way, clearly thinking I was going to faint right in front of him. And I almost nearly did.

“MOM?”

I froze, and sensed Travis turned around behind me.

“Oh, sorry dude,” Jack laughed. “With that hair I thought you were my mom.”

I hadn’t imagined it. They were really here. And they were right behind me.

“Dudes!” Travis greeted happily. “How the hell are ya? Oh, shit, you guys know Jency, right?”

I had a split second to make a decision. I could make a run for it and embarrass myself completely, look like a totally idiot, and have to explain to Travis why I couldn’t bare to face out ‘friends’. Or, I could grow a pair, and turn and face them and show them that I was over it, that I had moved on, that I was strong. While I wanted to go with option one, I forced myself to go with option two.

I turned and did my best to smile, but I knew it looked more like a grimace. “Hi boys.”

The four of them stood there in a line, all of their smiles faltering. I looked at them, from left to right – Jack, Rian, Zack and Alex – and realized with a bitter sense of relief that facing them (most specifically Alex) was just like taking off a band-aid: a harsh stinging sensation, quickly followed by a dull irritation. Surprisingly, it wasn’t as hard as I had been expecting it to be.

The four of them stared at me, at a loss for words. They must have been completely delusional, or hopelessly hopeful that they wouldn’t run into me. Rian was the first to collect himself, saving us all an awkward situation in front of Travis. He smiled and took a few steps toward me, arms extended.

“Good to see you again, Jency,” he said, wrapping his arms around me. I tried my best not to stiffen, after all, Rian had never done anything to me, and patted him awkwardly on the back. He pulled away quickly and stepped back inot his place in line. Zack came forward next, not saying anything, just coming in for the hug. It was easier to hug him back, mostly because the shock was wearing off.

“Hey,” he said softly in my ear, before pulling back away and giving me an apologetic smile. Clearly, we were not all supposed to meet like this.

Jack approached me next, a wide grin on his face that was not at all forced. His carefree attitude transferred to me briefly and I was actually able to give a bit of a true smile.

“Hey gorgeous,” he said, wrapping his lanky arms around my shoulders and pulling me into him. I rolled my eyes, knowing I was sweaty and disgusting from just having played on stage, but didn’t reply. “Great to see you, J,” he said meaningfully. I wrapped my arms around his waist and gave him a tight squeeze in response. I hadn’t forgotten how Jack, in his own way, had tried to comfort me the morning Alex left and my heartfelt hug was meant to be my thank you. I believe he understood, because he hugged me for a second longer than was necessary and smiled at me again as he pulled away. Hugging Jack had momentarily let me forget who else was standing there, the one person I had yet to make eye contact with. I was sure that when I looked at Alex my heart would tear into a million pieces once again. And it certainly felt that way...for about 2 seconds.

The bastard, looking better than ever in a Glamour Kills tank and cut off jean shorts, didn’t even meet my eyes as he gave me a small, pathetic wave in greeting. The heartache in my chest almost immediately turned to anger. How dare he? How dare he show up here, at my tour, and barely even acknowledge me? How dare he break my heart and then just pretend like nothing had ever happened between us?

My blood was boiling as I stared at him in disbelief and he found something incredibly interesting on his sandals. Travis, of course, noticed none of this, and was blabbering on with the other three, their eyes clearly on me, watching my every move.

“I’m tired,” I blurted out, interrupting them. “I’m going back to the bus. It was good to see you guys,” I said, looking pointedly at Rian, Jack and Zack, who shifted uncomfortably next to their asshole of a lead singer. Without another word, I turned on my heel and stalked off before I completely lost it.

I was incredibly hot, the air was thick and it was hard to breath. I was furious. Furious with All Time Low for being there, with Alex for ignoring me, with myself for letting him get to me. I was seeing spots, I was so pissed. Except it wasn’t only because I was angry. My pace began to slow as the world began to spin.

“Fuck my life,” I muttered, realizing too late I really should have drank more water during the day. The combination of my dehydration, exhaustion, and fury was too much for my body to handle, and my vision clouded over. My only hope as my body fell toward the ground was that Alex didn’t see me. Then, everything was black.