Give up Forever to Touch You

Pinkly trotted along ahead of Brian as he pushed Abi in her stroller, making their way back from the park. As the small ball of white fur ran up the driveway, Brian paused at the mailbox to retrieve a handful of letters before making his way up to the house.

“Honey, we’re home!” he called out, hearing Andie pottering around in the kitchen.

There was a muffled reply as Brian took Abi out of the stroller, kissing her cheek a small giggle escaping her lips as he carried her through to the kitchen.

“Hey, did you have fun at the park?” she asked looking up from where she sat on her knees on the floor.

“Yep. What are you doing?” Brian replied looking down at her confused.

“I’m looking for my casserole dish, I’m sure it’s in here somewhere.” She said with a smile.

“Try the cupboard behind you.” Brian said, placing Abi in her play pen before sitting at the table and began opening the mail.

“Have you been moving things around behind my back Haner?” Andie called as she took the dish out of the cupboard Brian had told her it would be in. he didn’t answer as she stood up and place it on the counter.

She turned to face him, noticing that he was staring at the paper in his hand. “Everything okay?”

Again he didn’t answer, just continued to stare. Andie stepped around the counter, placing her hands gently on his broad shoulders as she lowered her head so that she was level with him. “Babe? What’s wrong?”

“It’s the divorce paper’s.” he said quietly.

“Oh.” Andie said pulling back feeling slightly shocked.

“There was part of me that had forgotten about them.” He said quietly, still not lifting his gaze from the paper in front of him. “I mean it’s been months since we filed. It just, I doesn’t seem real now they’re in my hands.”

Andie nodded silently, stepping away from him quietly. “It’s what you wanted though right?”

“Hmm? Yeah of course it is.” He said, his eyes still not moving from the paper.

Andie nodded again quietly, biting her lip as she walked out of the kitchen and up to the bedroom. She sat down on the end of the bed, her fingers quickly raised to her mouth as she nervously chewed her fingernails.

Brian’s reaction to getting the divorce papers to sign had scared her slightly. She had been expecting him to be happy. He had said on more than one occasion that once the divorce was final he was going take things to the next level with her. He had talked about marriage. but now, after seeing him so quiet she felt confused.

He was so quiet, almost saddened by the prospect of finally ending his marriage to Michelle. Was it what he really wanted now that he was faced with reality? Was it a decision he was regretting?

She suddenly felt very claustrophobic and she needed to get out of the house, so she quickly made her way back down the stairs, grabbing her keys off the table before making her way out of the front door.

She walked. Nowhere in particular. She just walked until she found herself sat on the beach, sat on the sand, watching the waves crash onto the beach.

“Andie?”

She looked up at the sound of her name finding herself looking up at Lacey. “Andie are you okay?”

Slowly she shook her head, returning her gaze back out to the ocean.

“Wanna talk about it?” she asked as she lowered herself to the sand next to her. Andie glanced across at her, a small smile appearing on her face as she noticed her now prominent bump.

“How far gone are you know?” Andie asked with a smile.

“Almost twenty five weeks now.” she replied placing a hand on her stomach with a proud smile.

“Everything going okay?” Andie asked.

“Wonderful thanks, he’s doing good.” She said.

“He? Lacey that’s lovely news, you’re gonna have to come over and spend some time with Abi at some point.” she replied.

“Talking of whom, where is she?” she asked, not missing the sigh that escaped Andie.

“She’s with Brian, I needed to get out of the house for a while.” She replied with a weak smile.

“Everything okay?” Lacey asked, Andie taking another deep breath.

“The divorce papers arrived this morning.” She stated simply.

“Oh?” she asked slightly confused. “But isn’t that a good thing?”

“I thought so. I was hoping so. But I’m not sure what Brian thinks right now.” Andie replied quietly staring out to the ocean again. “If it was me I’d have signed them straight away. He’s been that this is what he wants. What if it’s not what he wants now that it’s becoming a reality? Why hasn’t he signed them?”

“He will. I’m sure of it. He loves you Andie.” Lacey said with an assuring smile. “It must be hard for him though, it’s a big part of his life he’s signing away.”

Andie looked thoughtfully up at her; she made a good point. “Maybe I should just give him the space and time he needs.”

“Maybe that’s a good idea.” She replied as Andie turned back to face the ocean.

It was Abi’s cry that finally drew Brian’s attention away from the divorce papers in front of him.

He had read over them again and again; double and triple checking to make sure that everything was how it should be. He wanted to make sure that there would be no more complications. He had also become overwhelmed with the thought that this was it. this was the end of his marriage. The end of the last ten years of his life. A few squiggles of his name and he would no longer be married to Michelle. His marriage would be over and he would be free to truly start his life with Andie.

He looked around, confused and slowly stood from the table, walking over to the play pen where Abi was crying.

“Hey, come here little angel. What’s wrong?” he asked her as she quietened at the sound of his voice. “Let’s go find your mommy.”

Still slightly confused as to where Andie was, Brian climbed the stairs, calling out her name, but with no reply. He checked each of the rooms anyway, retrieving his cell phone from his pocket as he made his way back down the stairs.

He dialled Andie’s number, holding the phone to his ear Brian listened to it ring through to her voicemail. “Where did she go? She was just here.” He asked Abi who had started to grizzle again.

“Okay, we’ll get your bottle and I’ll ring your aunty Rhi, see if she knows where you’re mother’s disappeared off to.

Brian quickly heated up Abi’s bottle and found Rhian’s number.

“Hello?” she answered.

“Rhi? Is Andie with you?” he asked.

“No. Should she be?” she replied with a hint of concern and confusion.

Brian sighed, “No. I don’t know.”

“What do you mean you don’t know? Bri, what’s going on?” Rhian asked full of confusion.

He sighed again, glancing down at Abi as she drank her milk, “I don’t know.” he said simply.

“Bri? What’s happened?” Rhian asked.

“She was here, she was looking for her casserole dish, I was sat at the table going through the divorce papers and then Abi was crying but Andie’s not here and she’s not answering her phone.” He said going through everything in his mind.

“She’s just up and left?” Rhian asked.

“Looks that way.” He said with another deep breath. “Where is she Rhi? I’m scared.”

“Hey, she can’t have gone too far, you’ve still got Abi right?” she replied calmly.

“Yeah, she’s here with me.” he replied.

“Okay, let me try and ring her, see if I can find out where she is, find out what’s going on.” She replied.

“Okay, I’ll talk to you soon.” He said, hanging up his phone before leaning down to kiss Abi’s forehead.

Rhian sighed as she hung up her phone and dialled Andie’s number. She was confused and worried.

“I was just about to call you.” Andie answered with a smile as Rhian gave out a small sigh of relief.

“Where the fuck are you? I’ve just had Brian on the phone worried because he has no fucking idea where you are.” She yelled.

“He noticed then.” She muttered.

“And, what’s going on?” Rhian asked calmly.

Taking a deep breath, Andie explained about the divorce papers and how she thought that he was procrastinating over signing them because it wasn’t what he really wanted.

“Are you fucking crazy woman! Of course it’s what he wants.” Rhian yelled at her through the phone.

“So why hasn’t he signed it yet? Why did he look so sad reading them?” she retorted.

“I don’t know, maybe he’s making sure everything’s correct, maybe he’s-“

“Maybe he just needs some time, by himself, to think. To make sure that this is really what he wants.” Andie said quietly. “Can I stay with you tonight?”

Rhian took a deep breath. “Why do you want to do that?”

“To give him time on his own. I really think that’s what he needs.” She replied simply.

“Personally I think you should go home, but I know that tone. Get your ass over here, I’ll call Brian back and tell him what’s going on.” She replied with a resigned sigh before quickly calling Brian back.

“Did you find her? Where is she?” Brian asked as soon as he answered.

“She’s on her way over here. She’s upset about your reaction to the divorce papers.” Rhian told him.

“My reaction? I don’t get what you mean.” He replied.

“She’s got it in her head that you’re having doubts about signing them.” She explained quietly.

“Doubts? What? No, not at all. I just…” Brian replied, trailing off with a sigh as he ran his fingers through his hair.

“It’s not as easy as it seems. She was almost ten years of my life. I loved her. We have two kids together. It’s not so easy as to just sign that all away in the blink of an eye.” He said quietly.

“I know Bri, but you know Andie. She’s scared. She loves you.” Rhian replied.

“I love her too.” he said in a whisper.

“I know you do Bri, and so does she. Just let her be for tonight okay. I’ll bring her over first thing.” Rhian told him softly.

“Okay, tell her I love her yeah?” he said.

“Yeah of course.” She said.