About a Girl

“Would it be out of line, I was to be bold and say, ‘Would you be mine?” – The Fratellis

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It’s too crowded inside Mike’s apartment.

The kitchen and living room are claustrophobic, and I can’t seem to find enough space to even stand still in.

That, and I’m kind of avoiding Lena, who still somehow hasn’t gotten the hint yet.

I head for the balcony off one of the bedrooms to get some air and to get rid of the claustrophobic feeling.

Apparently someone else had the same idea; Rachel’s already leaning against the railing when I slide the door open.

She jumps in surprise and turns, then relaxes when she sees it’s just me.

She then tenses up, remembering that we’re haven’t exactly been on speaking terms since we got back from Los Angeles.

“It’s cold out here,” I say, rubbing the back of my neck awkwardly.

No shit, Michael.

She stares at me, but I don’t have a clue as to what she’s thinking.

“Yeah,” she says finally, agreeing but looking away as I take a few tentative steps closer. “I think Lena’s looking for you,” she adds, briefly looking back up at me to search my expression.

“I hope not,” I blurt out, even though it’s a little mean of me. But I think it gets the point across.

“Then you aren’t…?” she trails off.

“Lena? Me? No,” I clarify in relief. “Never were.”

“Oh.” She hesitates before walking past me for the door.

“Why are you avoiding me?” I ask, reaching out to grasp her arm gently before she gets too far.

And hoping I don’t sound too pathetic, at that.

She turns around to look at me again, blinking. I let go.

“Because I was embarrassed,” she replies, as if it should have been obvious. “I didn’t want you to see him. I didn’t even want to see him.”

She walks the remaining steps back over to the railing to lean against it.

“So why are you avoiding me, then?” she questions, glancing sideways at me.

“I…I thought he…was your boyfriend…” I trail off uncertainly.

“He…was,” she emphasizes. “Luke was why I left L.A. in the first place,” she informs me. She laughs bitterly, focusing her attention on the cars driving past on the street below. “I was so stupid.”

“You’re not,” I assure her. She smiles faintly, glancing at me again with her piercing green irises. “Do you want to go back inside?”

“No. Not really.”

“Me either,” I admit, although the wind is starting to get to me, and even though I should be used to it by now.

“So you were avoiding me because you thought I was still with him?” she asks, turning from the railing completely to lean against the brick wall of the building. “Why?”

“I…” I feel my face burning as soon as I turn to face her, but I can’t even think of a semi-reasonable excuse to say. “I…I mean…fuck it. Rae, I like you. A lot. Too much, even.”

She looks surprised, but still thoughtful at the same time, waiting, always waiting for something. Waiting for me to continue and stop making an ass of myself, in this case.

“I guess what I mean is…will you be my girlfriend?” I blurt out.

I’m silently cursing myself for being so uncontrollably blunt and for not being able to say something even remotely romantic, and my throat runs dry while I wait for her to say something and I start to feel like I’m in highschool again, asking my crush to a dance, so I can’t help but start to ramble.

“I mean, I know we’re going to be busy traveling with the album releases, and I know you have Warped and I have Honda Civic this summer, but…well, I just don’t care, Rae.”

Her green eyes watch me unflinchingly.

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Rae

I stare at him in half-disbelief while my heart skips some beats.

“I- I just had to say something. It’s been driving me mad,” he confesses, still waiting for my answer. “I understand if-”

I don’t reply, but a small smile instantly graces my lips and I step closer to him, closing the gap to just hug him. I rest my head against his chest to find that his heart is beating just as irregularly as mine is and he smells familiar and comforting.

His arms keep me close in return and his head rests against mine comfortably.

“I’d love to,” I finally answer, pulling away just slightly. His cheeks look as pink as mine feel.

“Uh…good,” he replies, and his nervousness makes me want to giggle. His arms are still around my waist. He compulsively leans down for a kiss. I feel him smile against my lips and I reach up to wind my fingers into his soft hair – what I’ve wanted to do for awhile now.

It’s a simple kiss, but it feels amazing and wanting more, I let him part my lips with his tongue.

His lips are soft and warm, and I know it’s cold but our mixing breath is hot as he backs me into the wall, still attached to my mouth.

I let a surprised moan escape my lips as his kisses move down my neck to my collarbone, teeth teasing my skin and most likely leaving marks to remember him by.

I forget about the nightmare that was our trip to L.A. while our bodies press together. I forget about my bandmates’ teasing, the guys’ jokes, Bill’s obvious advice, about Luke, Lena, – everything.

We’re interrupted only when the sliding door creaks open and we turn to see a drunken Sisky in the doorway, beer in hand.

“It’s about fucking time,” he states, looking at us before going back inside.

We share a grin, a laugh, and more sweet-tasting kisses.