I'm a Stripper At An All Boys Boarding School? How Do I Keep This A Secret?

"I have to go." I whispered, almost running over Kristina as I left the stage frantically. My heels clicking on the floor disappeared under the hustle-bustle of backstage. Kristina was taken back and confused, but I didn't stop hurrying to my mirror.

"What? Why, whats wrong? You did great!" She struggled to keep up with my pace.

I reached my mirror and picked up my bag, shoving in the makeup, hair brushes, and other things on my table without thinking."Raydens in the audience. With Griffin, and Aaron, and Taylor. And Jesse. They're all her, they all saw me!"

"Darcy, take a deep breath!" Kristina pressed my shoulders until I lowered my but into the chair. I hadn't realized I was almost screaming. "Are you sure it was them? Are you sure they all recognized you? With the wig, and the makeup, and the lights?"

"He was staring into my eyes, Kristina." I wiped my cheeks, not realizing I was crying. I took the pink wig off my head and let my hair down. "It won't be long before the whole school knows. I've been through this before."

Kristina thought for a minute and I let her. She finally came to a conclusion. "Alright, I'll take you back to your dorm now and we'll beat the guys there. I'll have someone else cover the finale and you and I can go, get your stuff and come back to my place for the night while we figure things out, OK? It'll all be fine." I nodded, taking deep breaths, and wiping the masses of pink eyeliner off my face. "OK, get some clothes on so people don't stare when you get to school. I'll be right back."

Kristina ran off to talk to someone else as I got dressed, throwing the jeans and tank top that I had entered in directly over the bright costume. I put my sweater on as a jacket, not bothering to button it and slipped my feet into my boots and threw anything else I thought I might need into my bag. Kristina came back.

"I talked to Robbie, he's letting us go, he'll have Sammie cover the finale. Lets go." I followed her to her car and watched the rain fall onto the tinted windows. Kristy sped down the parkway, driving recklessly like always. No one seemed to mind too much.

"It's all gonna be OK, you know." Kristina's attempt to console me made me blink widely and turn to her, breaking out of my daze.

"It was all working out. Work, home, friends, boys. I thought it was all getting better."

"It will baby, It just looks bad now. If Rayden's really that in love with you, he'll understand. He was bound to figure it out sometime, they all were."

"Yeah but we're so different. We're polar opposites. Maybe were not meant to be anything."

"Maybe." Kristina said, turning back to the wheel. "But we'll just have to see how it works out." I nodded, but she couldn't see. We pulled up to the school.

"OK, go in, take what you need and come out. The shows not even over yet, so you have some time. Don't dilly-dally." I nodded, slinging my purse over my shoulder and practically sprinting inside.

I reached my room, twisting the key violently and shoving open the door, not bothering to close it. I ran to my room, dropping my purse on the floor and digging through my closet. I grabbed a large bag at the bottom of my closet and started shoveling clothes into it, grabbing anything I saw. When the bag was full I grabbed another, starting on my drawers.

I didn't even notice the door open until I could feel eyes on my back.

I flipped around to see Rayden standing in the doorway to my bedroom.

His green eyes drew my attention first. They were squinted slightly, still glowing and shiny but a different kind of shiny, not the kind that I recognized from when he would sneak to my bunk at night or when he kissed me on the Ferris wheel. He looked betrayed and disappointed, like he could almost cry. I stood up.

I didn't notice his body language until I was already standing awkwardly. His body was facing away from me, his arms tense on his sides as if I would lunge to attack him. I froze in place. We stood, facing each other, him with his tense, protective stance and me standing awkwardly, both arms hanging uselessly by my side. I felt a tear on my cheek but I didn't wipe it. We said nothing.

"Were you planning on telling me?" He asked finally. It felt like I was standing on trial naked. His voice cut.

"There wasn't exactly a right time." My voice cracked and sounded like I'd been crying for hours. I saw Rayden's eyes raise in a fake, bitter surprise.

"A right time? A right time!" He flew his hands up and let them drop, shaking his head as if he couldn't believe me. "When is the right time to tell your boyfriend that-that your a-"

"A stripper." Rayden's face didn't move. I felt the anger build inside me. Why was I the bad one here?

"So what should I had said, 'Hi, I'm your new roommate, the only girl in this school, and oh, I'm also a stripper?"

"Oh I don't know, maybe mention it when you had a whole week alone with me? Or maybe when we kissed? Or before that, when I told you my secret?" His voice was loud enough to be heard throughout the room, echoing off the walls. Mine matched.

"You mean winter break? Yes, because as soon as you finally stop calling me a whore, that seems like a great time to tell you I'm a stripper. Face it Rayden, you had your own opininons on me since we first met, and it turns out you've been right. So why don't you stop pretending to care and let me leave?" With that I turned around and continued packing my things. But Rayden wasn't finished.

"So your just gonna leave school now? Or was that your plan all along? Do you ever commit to anything fully? I'm sure if we hadn't found out, you would have left soon enough. Just like you-"

"Just like my mother?" I spun around, ignoring the tears in my eyes and crossing my arms. "I'm not the only one who got the undesirable traits from my parents Rayden. You seem to know all too well how to blame everyone else for everything!"

"Yeah, but at least I didn't inherit an addiction." He wasn't yelling anymore, he just sounded more defeated, like his eyes. I followed his gaze to the floor, where my purse had spit out its contents when I dropped it on my way in. A hairbrush, some makeup palettes, and the rest of the things I had on my mirror at Fuego. And next to that, a tiny bag filled with white powder.

"I took that from my dad." I said, bending down and scooping everything back into the bag. Rayden scoffed.

"Yeah right. I don't believe anything you have to say to me." I approached Rayden's tense body.

"Rayden I'm not lying, I've never even tried drugs, I took them away from-"

"Shut up!" Rayden's arms rose suddenly, pushing me away from him. I dropped the purse I was holding and landed on the floor with a crash. The left side of my body freeze in pain, but I was too shocked to sit up fully.

It seemed like forever until Rayden moved. He stood unmoving, watching my body sprawled on the floor with a glare like ice. I realized my ears were ringing from our screaming, and my eyes were crying from his insults. Slowly, I moved into a sitting position and gathered the last of the things I could grab. A year ago, I would have been appalled at the idea of leaving my possessions that I had worked so hard to afford. But now, I hardly thought of the material things I had left behind. I stood up, half afraid that Rayden would reach down and knock me over again. But he didn't move, instead he stood frozen as I gathered the three bags I had just packed.

Rayden met my eyes, and I met his, looking for the old sparkle of the Rayden I had known. But they were empty and there was no one there, only the Rayden I recognized from stories of his past. He was in protection mode now, fighting out anyone who had hurt him, which was mostly me. He was back to caring for only himself. I recognized that as something I used to do, and I knew there was nothing else to say. The room was silent as I bent down, picked up my bags and walked past him, saying nothing. I left my bed, my dresser and my room. I left everything I didn't have time to pack, and I walked out.

I passed my old friends, who had been sitting in the main room of my old dorm, probably listening to every screaming word that came out of our mouths. I didn't look at there faces. I didn't need to feel more ashamed.

I got into Kristina's car, leaving behind my old campus and my old classes. She was silent as she drove away. I left behind my old life.

I left behind my old boyfriend.

And I went back to my old life.