Holding On

When I opened my eyes, I thought I was going to see his face inches away from mine, but instead, I came face to face with a bright red 4:34am alarm clock. These dreams were starting to feel more and more real. I groaned at the brightness the room carried and sat up on the bed only to feel the cool air touch my bare chest. I looked beside me to find Bruce fast asleep. He look peaceful as he laid on his stomach and his arms under the pillow, hugging it close to his head. I had a sudden urge to stroke some of his hair out of his eyes. I reached to my hand closer to his sleeping face when a voice stopped me.

“What the hell are you doing?!” I heard 'his' voice scream at me. I spun my head around where I heard him call from when I saw him standing there, flannel shirt, jeans, and messy blonde locks and a grim look on his face as he came closer to me. “Why would you do this Anna?” he cracked as I felt my eyes start to water,

“Jack I-”

“I thought you loved me? Why? Why would you do this to me?! WHY?!” as he yelled, his cheeks began to tear from the corners of his mouth.

“Jack please, d-don't, don't yell!” I begged, my hands shaking as I gripped my bangs with one hand and the other gripping the sheets to my chest.

“WHY?!?!!” His cheeks ripped open towards his ears and blood started gushing out like a waterfall,

I went to scream and stand to help him but someone pulled me back to the bed and held a knife in my mouth. Bruce was no longer in the bed as a familiar purple gloved hand came to view and wrapped around my throat with a raspy voice hiss in my ear; “Miss me, dollface?”

I shot up from the bed, cupping my cheeks feeling no gashes or any sign of cuts. I sighed in relief and smiled to myself. The room was bright as I looked to see it was 9:35am. I was alone in the bed as I clutched the sheet to my chest as I thought about the nightmare I just had. What have I done? What would he actually think if he found out I slept with someone else?? What would he do?? What would he say?? 'Anna you fucking slut!' He would be hurt. He'd be depressed. Or...He wouldn't care. Why would he? He left me! Why should I care what he would think? “Because you still love him.” No I don't. He hurt me. “Doesn't mean you don't love him anymore.” I haven't even seen him in 9 years! “You never forget your first love.” Shut up! Great. I'm arguing with myself. Damn clown.

I jumped in my spot when the bedroom door knocked. “Mel?” I heard Bruce on the other side.

Forgetting my voice, I studdered; “Y-yes?”

“May I come in?”

“Yes.” I quickly fixed my hair a bit and brought the sheet closer around myself as the door opened, revealing a cleaned up Bruce with my suitcase.

“Good morning.” he grinned,

“Morning.” I smiled politely, pushing all my thoughts this morning to the side.

“I just came to bring your things in. There's a bathroom there if you'd like to clean yourself up, and Alfred will be downstairs if you want any breakfast.”

“Just be ready to hand me a cup of coffee and I'll be fine.” I smiled tiredly.

He chuckled, biting his bottom lip before looking up at me. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah. I'm fine.” I said a bit too high but quickly recovered by grinning, thought he didn't catch it.

“If it was about last night, I'm-”

“It's not! Last night was...Amazing.” I said truthfully, it was amazing. “It's just, been, awhile since I've...Been with someone.” I bit my bottom lip, feeling a bit uneasy telling him this. But it made him smile.

“So...You don't regret it?”

“No.” Yes. Maybe? Agh!

His smile widen before opening the door again but turning to me on his way out, “There's a phone on the night table. You should call Ally and let her know you're okay.”

“Okay. Thanks, Bruce.”

He nodded as he closed the door behind him. I groaned to myself and fell flat on my face on the bed. I'd scream, but I'm tried of screaming for the past few weeks. I forced myself out of bed, dragging the sheet with me as I headed towards the bathroom Bruce pointed out. His bedroom was HUGE and the bathroom is bigger than my living room at my apartment in New York. There was a jacuzzi tub and a large walk in shower. As much as the jacuzzi tub looked inviting. I didn't want to repeat my act back at the warehouse. Before I even hop in the fancy shower, I noticed a blue Schick razor on the sink. I really could really use a shave. I took the razor with a different blade then dropped the sheet on the floor and stepped in the shower. It was one of those luxurious showers that had that feel like the rain forest. The walls were a dark blue as well as the tiling on the floor, and the water came from the ceiling like rain with blue lights.

I decided to take my time and imagine myself somewhere in the rain forest somewhere and rinsing myself under the waterfall in the moonlight. My imagination has felt more real as I began to hear all the animal noises in the distance, calming my nerves and making me more relaxed. As crazy as it may seem, I wouldn't mind living in the rain forest. I wouldn't worry about work or money or any crimes besides the wild animals in the forest. I would be far away from Gotham or any other large cities out there. It'd be nice. But I'd be some random wild woman wearing leave clothes or nothing at all, that talks to herself. After I shaved; I washed myself off I turned off the shower and grabbed the fluffy white towel hanging on a railing. While brushing my hair I walked towards the bed and felt my newly soft legs. I felt so much better. I sat at the edge of the bed that has been changed and made, still feeling my legs. I reached for the phone and dialed Ally's cellphone. I only reached her voice-mail so ether she doesn't want to talk to anyone and hit ignore, she has it on vibrate, or she let it die. I decided to try her home phone. I got the answering machine and decided to leave a message in case she was around her house she can hear me.

*BEEP*

“Ally? Ally are you there? It's Mel...” I sighed, “I just want to let you know that I'm fine and I'm at Bru-”

“MEL?!?!?!” she screamed into the phone.

“Al!” I hissed,

“Mel! Oh my gosh! Are you alright?! I was so worried! I'm so sorry!” she began to sob on the phone as I tried calming her down.

“Ally! I'm fine! He let me go-”

“W-what?! That son of a bitch let you go?! He has to be planning something!” I heard her sniffle,

“I don't know. Bruce said I should call and tell you I'm okay.”

“Are you?”

I inhaled deeply, “Yes.”

“Everyone here is worried. But...I'm sorry Mel, but you got fired in both your jobs. I tried telling them what happened but they're just assholes about it.”

“I figured.”

“Stacy's worried about you.”

I smiled at that, “Tell her I'm fine.”

“I will...Mel?”

“Yeah?”

“John's dead.”

“W-what?”

“Old man John died. He had a stroke a week ago.” she says quietly.

I was glad I was sitting down or else I would have collapsed on Bruce's pretty floor.

“How?” I asked in a hush tone.

“There found blood clots in his lungs, from the cancer or something. His funeral was yesterday...Mel, I'm so sorry. I knew you were good friends with him.”

“Yeah.” I croaked as I felt tears running down my cheeks. “Hey, Al. I'm gonna go, okay?”

“Are you okay?”

“I'll be fine. I'll talk to you soon.”

“Alright, hun... Bye.”

I pressed end and threw the phone. I buried my face in my hands and felt myself shaking with sobs. I don't understand why all bad things happen to the good people. Ms. Anderson, John, Mom, and Jack... Why does the world have to be cruel? I can't help but think it's my fault.

Ms. Anderson, the sweetest old lady that took me in and gave me her last name.

John, the awesome old man that always made my day with his stories.

Mom, the woman who made all the nightmares go away.

And Jack, the boy that loved me.

…

After collecting myself after the phone call I made to Ally, I got dressed and went downstairs trying to find Bruce. I heard the TV on the news. As I reached the living room, I find Bruce and Alfred both standing in front of the screen as the reporter gave the update on Joker.

“There has been no sign of Melinda Anderson since the Gotham news station was hijacked. We may fear, Miss Anderson is dead or still held against her will.” the woman says to the camera with a face picture of myself on the corner of the screen.

“Deja vu.” I whispered to myself...Or thought.

Bruce and Alfred heard me in this empty echoic house and looked up at me at the stairs.

“Miss. Anderson. Good morning.” Alfred greets.

“Morning.” I replied, walking down the steps.

“I have your coffee brewed and ready for you, Miss.” he motions her towards the coffee table where a tray with a kettle of coffee, sugar, and cream.

“Oh, uhh...” I mumbled, sitting at the couch. “Thanks.”

He nods his head and took a glance at Bruce who lifted his brows and widen his eyes. “I'll leave you to it then.” he says then hurry's out of the room.

I heard the door shut and shuffled my feet against the white tiled floor. Bruce turned the TV off as I realized the Joker's mugshot was on the screen and turned towards me with a small smile.

“How was your shower?”

“It was great...Thanks.” I replied, feeling a little bit awkward.

He nods his head. “Everyone in Gotham thinks your dead...”

“Would it be safer to stay 'dead'?”

“Yes, so that The Joker doesn't come looking for you. He may have thought some thugs had jumped you in some alley back in the Narrows.”

“I guess.” I sighed, wrapping my arms around my midsection.

'Oh, I hope we used something.'

“Are you okay?” Bruce asks, noticing my discomfort.

“I think...I should get out of here.” I tried looking him in the eye but failed, so I looked at his cleanly shaved chin. I must be regretting last night.

“Mel, I can assure you; you're safe here. He's not gonna get to you.”

“Yeah, well...I just don't feel safe here.” I watched him sigh, rubbing his face obviously a little stressed. Then... An idea came to me... “I know a place out of the city that I can go to.”

He removed his hands from his hair and turned to me. “Where?”

…

“AHHH!! AHHH!!! Lemme go! Please!!”

“Hush, hush. Shush, shush. All I'm wanting to do is add to my collection. But it's alright. I'll take my time.”

“NO!! NO-” The man was cut off by his throat being slit open, slowly as he gurgled on his won blood. The knife left his throat and he fell like a rag doll in the alley.

“I love this show.” Victor Zsasz turns around to find the Riddler leaning on his cane with a smirk on his face. “Ain't he fantastic, Jokester?”

“Very-y.” giggles the Joker, coming from behind Riddler to get a better look at the tally marked man as he glided his knife across the side of his neck to make another mark to his collection.

“How do you suggest...We send out our friend here to the city? Show them our friend's talent? It would keep them busy and also keep their little noses out of what we have planned for the Narrows...” says Riddler,

Joker merely grinned, “What a terrific id-e-ah...”

“I knew you would like it!”

“Uh-hahh... Well, will you escort Victor downtown? There is, uh, a couple of things I'd like to do.”

“Of course!” Riddler taps his cane twice as 4 goons in green came out and followed Riddler towards Zsasz as they all left the alley.

Joker stayed behind before leaving the alley on the other side and got into the white van that was parked on the curve. Joker headed back to their base as Harley came skipping out the door waiting for him to approach her.

“Hiya 'puddin! How'd it go??” her squeaky, annoying voice rang like a loud bell in his ears making his growl. “Did 'ya like the new recruiter Riddler picked up??”

“Yeah...” he mumbled, pushing pass her roughly inside and headed towards the gun rack on the wall by the couches where his goons sat at.

He pulled out his AK-74 from his coat and hanged it up on the rack, removing the ammo from his pockets and dropped them in a bucket below. He reached in his coat as he felt Harley's arms wrap around his shoulders.

“Are you alright, Mistah J? I thought you'd be exciteddd.” she pouted. Joker had a sudden urge to grip the pistol he held under the coat and shoot her right between the eyes.

Instead he placed the pistol back in its place in the coat and turns to the ratty-haired blonde and smirked, “Ohhh, I am, babycakes.” he grips her shoulders while taking one of them and pinches her cheek hard. “I'm just not in the mood to listen to your whiny, annoyinnggg-ah!... voice...Today...” he licked his scars and pats her cheek before pushing her out of his way and whistles for his goons to get the supplies and rushed out the front door.

Harley stood by the gun rack with a grim look on her face. She felt her throat clog up by a what felt like a big rock. She waited till she heard the vans wheels screeched out of the driveway before grabbing her custom magnum revolver and ran out the door, hopping into the black getaway van and hit the gas, driving to the one place only her and Joker knows about.