When I Go, Bring Me Back Again

I woke up to warmth, a soft cotton shirt beneath my hand and the sound of someone dying in the background and Mikey’s apparent delectation of the fact that he had done it. Picking my head up from the resting body that I had been laying on, my eyes traveled to the end of the bed where I found him sitting there, playing video game again. I realized that it was the same game we had been playing the night before and laughed softly.
“You know,” I yawned before blinking attempting to blink the sleep from my eyes, “no matter how many times you play that game, you’ll probably never beat him.” he paused the game and turned to look back at me.
“Shut up,” he retorted, his hair stuck up in random places.
“Make me,” I yawned again and sighed cuddling back into Gerard’s side.
“You look comfy,” he noted before going back to his video game.
“Mm very, thank you for noticing.” I laughed softly before looking up at Gerard’s peaceful face. His eyelids twitching slightly, as he dreamed, his lips parted just barely making him look innocent. I sat up on my elbow and reached out to touch his face carefully in hopes of not waking him. It was then that a I noticed, my eyes catching the clock that was level with his head that I realized it was almost two in the afternoon. While I would hate to wake him, I knew he couldn’t just sleep the entire day away, well at least when I was around. I ran my hand through his hair and leaned down brushing my lips across his smooth warm skin till I reached his ear.
“Wake up Gee,” I whispered rubbing his chest softly. He mumbled in protest and I couldn’t help but giggle at his childish act.

“Come on Gee, time to wake up,” he groaned this time and turned causing me to fall onto my side as his arm slid around my waist and pulled me towards him. I laughed while slipping my hand into his mess of black locks, kneading it almost as I sighed and laid down, his face just in front of mine.
“Come on Gee, wake up,” I kissed his forehead, this time causing him to stir. His eye brows knit together and he let out a heavy breath.
“What time is it?” his voice full of sleep.
“Almost two.” I continued running my hand through his hair when a thought came to mind. If a stranger had been in the room, I wondered if we would have looked like a couple. The idea of being a couple was definitely something that I wanted deeply, but the want of him being alive a week from now severely outweighed it. He nodded and opened up his eyes slowly picking up his head, a bit taken back at first before he mumbled an ‘oh’ and sighed resting back into the bed.
“Anymore nightmares?” he mumbled, his grip not loosening on me.
“Nope, no more nightmares. Thanks again Gee, that meant a lot to me.” he smiled lazily before letting his eyes flutter back open.
“You’ve thanked me enough Frankie,” he laughed softly. Noticing that I had stopped what I had been doing, I quickly went back to running my finger through his hair, in return causing him to sigh and once again his hazel eyes were hidden from me.
“That feel good?” I giggled.
“Most definitely. You know, instead of thanking me, just do that from now on.” I continued to laugh as he gave appreciated sighs and smiles.
“Are you molesting my brother dude?” I looked over at Mikey who didn’t seem too bothered, seeing as he was still focused on the video game.
“Oh yeah, definitely, let me tell you about it,” I rolled my eyes causing Gerard to laugh and roll back to look at his younger brother before shaking his head and mumbling the word idiot under his breath.
“I’ll take that as no then?” he asked, his voice monotone as he continued to focus on the scene in front of him.
“Yeah, that’s a no.” I giggled before laying back down and looked at Gerard. His face maybe three inches away, I’ll admit, it was tempting as hell. As much as I tried to control myself, my eyes betrayed me, looking down at his pale lips that were slightly chapped. I wanted to, hell everyone probably knew but him that I seriously wanted to. I was worried about a lot of things, scared of my stupidity pushing him away. But when his arm slid back around me, holding me close, I pushed all the negativity to the back of my mind and looked back up into his eyes.
“Gee, can I do something?” it was quiet, almost inaudible, but he heard it.
“As long as it doesn’t involve stealing my organs to sell on the black market, yeah.” I couldn’t help but grin at the idiocy of it.
“I wouldn’t do that to you.” it caused him to smile too.
“I’d hope so,” we laughed quietly before settling down, falling into an awkward silence with a new unknown tension in the air. Biting my bottom lip I cleared my mind and looked back at him.
“So, I can?” he nodded hesitantly, as if his mind, much like mine was back and forth on it. I leaned forward cautiously, I was nervous, there was no hiding that. Doing something that I had never done before quite frankly scared me, I had given him a peck before, an act of flirting and admiration, but I had never kissed him or another guy before. My eyes slipped shut, just after his, and my heart beat grew rapid beneath my chest in anticipation of feeling his lips upon mine. But when it happened, it was if the worry was for nothing, because that was just it, nothing. There was no pressure, there was only his lips against mine. No emotion whatsoever, because he didn’t kiss me back. I pulled away disappointed and saddened by the fact that he probably didn’t feel the same. Rolling onto my back I stared at the ceiling with sad eyes. I wished he had just told me no, that way I hadn’t embarrassed myself.
“Frankie?”
“Yeah?” I sighed not really caring at the moment.
“Can I do something now?”
“What?” I frowned, hadn’t I been the one to just ask that? His hand moved to my face, urging me to turn my head to look at it. I turned to look, only he wasn’t trying to get my attention so that he could say something, no, he did it to kiss me. It was different then last time, instead of him being motionless and voided of emotion, he pressed his chapped lips against mine. His hand holding me by the back of my neck. It shocked me at first, but as soon as that wore off I pressed back. Enjoying how his lips moved with mine, molded to fit as if they were made just for me. I sighed in content and rolled onto my side, reaching out to grasp the shirt on his chest. The hand that had been on my neck moved slowly to my back before resting on my hip just above the top of my jeans. It was smooth and tender, something out of a romantic movie I guess you could say. But it didn’t stay that way for long. After every short break of our lips, the kisses grew harder and needy, fueled by something other than shy affection. His body converged with mine, hands roaming as our lips sealed together, growing sloppy with haste. The need of having him closer overpowered me as I rolled onto my back, tugging at his thin shirt, taking the hint he climbed on top of me. His elbow beside my head as his other hand was pressed against my cheek. His wet lips slipped down my jaw and onto my neck, where he pressed them against my skin sucking tenderly. My hands traveled up his chest before quickly running back down. Pulling at the bottom of the cotton I let my hands slip under it, my finger tips ecstatic from the feeling of his warm skin. I was so quickly caught up in the moment of feeling his skin that I hadn’t realized just how close he had gotten to my spot before I gasped.
“Oye! What the hell are you two doing?!” Mikey yelled causing our moment to quickly end.
“Hey I thought you said you weren’t molesting my brother?” he whined.
“Um,” I cleared my throat before looking back up at Gerard, “well technically he’s on top of me so, wouldn’t he be the one molesting me?”

His lips pulled up into a smile, swollen and red. I reached up pressing my thumb against them causing him to sigh and close his eyes, he kissed it softly before opening his eyes back up to look at me. It took me a moment before I remembered that my other hand was still under his shirt, pressed against his chest. It saddened me for a moment, to think that something so alive had been dead, rotting away in the ground. I had, had a bunch of moments since the beginning of this, where I thought about how he had been dead. But until now, it hadn’t really sunken in completely. To know that all of this, at one time was nothing, and that it had been my fault.
“You okay?” he whispered, I nodded smiling softly to reassure him and pulled my hand out of his shirt before reaching up so that I could grab his face with both hands.
“You’re beautiful, did you know that?” I asked quietly causing him to blush, he looked away causing me to grin madly. I leaned up to kiss him softly before falling back into the bed, still holding onto his warm and flushed face.
“Do you mean it?” he returned with a question looking back down at me. I nodded letting one hand slip into his hair. He laid down on my chest, burying his face into it while his arms held onto me tightly.
“You’re not so bad yourself Frankie,” I couldn’t help but laugh at how blunt he was about it. I brushed all his hair to one side before running my knuckles down his cheek.
“Hey Gee?”
“Yes?”
“Um, do you want to... you know, go out tomorrow night?” he picked up his head looking at me, with a bit of confusion.
“You mean all three of us or like a date?” he blushed again, it was something that I didn’t mean to do, but I loved doing it at the same time. I thought he looked adorable, childlike when his face would go red.
“Like a date.”
“Uh, yeah. Definitely.” I smiled sitting up and pecked his lips.
“Aw isn’t that so adorable,” Mikey cooed like we were little babies from the edge of the bed. I looked up just in time to get a flash in my eyes.
“Ow, goddammit Mikey!” I whined covering them. He just laughed and Gerard rolled off of me. I removed my hand and looked up at Mikey who was busy messing with my camera.
“What are you doing?” he just shrugged sitting down, I could see from here that he was going through the pictures. I looked over at Gerard who was busy watching his brother.
“Wait a second,” he mumbled before enlarging one.
“Oh my God!” he shrieked standing up and started laughing.
“Who the hell took these?” he laughed looking at me, I immediately remembered Gerard’s last visit and how I woke up to my Mom taking pictures.
“Oh God, are you serious?” Gerard looked between the two of us, completely lost.
“Seriously though? Who took these?” he continued to laugh while shoving the camera in his brother’s face.
“My Mother,” I groaned falling back onto my pillow. I was seriously going to kill that woman one day, then bring her back to life and kill her again for making me feel bad that I had killed her the first time, and then it would happen all over again.
“Wait you were awake when she took these?” I picked up my head to look at a confused Gerard.
“Well I uh, woke up and kinda went back to sleep because I was comfy.” I felt the heat rise up into my cheeks before he just smiled and shook his head looking back down at the lit up screen.
“Well, not that this isn’t all fun and what not, my caffeine levels are at a dangerous low. So I’m going to make coffee, and seeing as Frank, you and I can’t cook to save our lives, I’d like to state now that Gerard is a good cook. So, get your ass down there and make us something woman,” he stated pointing at his brother. Gerard looked up from the camera with an unamused look before sitting the camera on the floor.
“Ok, did you seriously just call me a woman?” he asked. Mikey only nodded, seeming proud of the fact.
“Must I remind you who the drag queen was when he was five years old?” Mikey immediately frowned as Gerard grinned evilly and got off the bed.
“Hey, that’s not cool Bro, I thought you promised not to bring that up,” he whined as I collapsed on the bed in a fit of giggles.
“Oh and that’s not even the best part Frankie, he let me put make up on him and take pictures. He even wore this pretty little blonde wig.” Gee laughed bending over to kiss me softly, he went to stand up but was attacked by Mikey who had now latched onto his back.
“You’re the son of the devil, did you know that?”
“Yep, I know.” Mikey nodded before sliding off.
“I’m glad you understand, just know I will get you back,” and he left the room. Gerard looked back down at me, amused by the fact that I was still laughing and he scooped me up.
“Did he seriously dress in drag?”
“No, that was me. I’m the drag queen of the house, he just let me use him as a test subject for make up.” I thought about it, picturing a five year old version of himself strutting around in dresses and high heels.
“I bet you made a really hot chick Gee.” he just laughed as he carried me down the stairs.
“Oh you wouldn’t believe Frankie, you wouldn’t believe.”