Diaries of the Mind

July 27, 2005
Trix's Mind

I walk up the front steps of the Hilton and make my way to the desk. The woman behind the counter looks up from her computer and fake smiles at me. I take a deep breath, I was going to see the guys, my guys. I wonder if they changed much, I don't think I've changed all that much in the past while, but I could be wrong. What if they turn out hating who I've become, what if I don't like what they've become?

"How can I help you miss?" I jump out of my train of thought and plaster on a smile.

"I'm here to see...Skunkerdoodle," I say slightly embarrassed. That was so Tre, such a messed up alias.

"Ah yes, well its suite 420," she says clearly, "You probably know your way around here." She looks me over a couple of times, they way you'd look over a pregnant fifteen year old.

"Is there a problem?"

"No, no problem. Its just you don't dress for that line of work."

"What line of work?" I ask as my eyes bulge.

"You are the escort, right? Trix?" she says slowly.

"Oh yeah, that's me." I laugh, "Guys are always playing pranks." She nods as I walk towards the elevator.

I stand eagerly in the elevator rocking on my heels excitedly. It's been fifteen years, holy shit that's a decade and a half. The elevator door opens and I step into the hallway. I hear a roar of laughter coming from down the hall. I cautiously walk toward it when I see door 420 which is being held open by an empty beer bottle. I hurry towards it and push open the door. Mike sees me right away and his face lights up like a he got a light bulb rammed up his nose.

"Which one of you said I was a hooker?!" I ask favorite guys in the world along with Adie and another woman.

"Trix!" the guys yell at once as they run toward me.

"I fucking missed you guys," I say hugging Billie Joe first; I kiss his cheek before moving onto Tre.

"Trixie!" he squeals as he picks me up.

"Last time you called me that I socked you one, and I'm not above doing it again." I laugh as I kiss his cheek too.

"Mikey!" I yelp as I see him standing there shyly. I pull him into a hug which he learns to accept, he seems nervous.

"Oh my god Adrienne," I say excitedly. "You haven't changed a bit." I laugh as she gives me a hug, "You still have the dread thing going."

"Trix, I want you to meet someone," Tre says proudly, "This is my wife Claudia."

"Holy shit," I say hugging her none the less, "Tre, married."

"Yup." Claudia laughs.

"You must be one kinky woman." Tre nods evilly, Claudia just rolls her eyes.

We settle down from the over-whelming reunion and Billie calls room service to bring up more beers.

"So I heard you were at our show tonight," Billie says; his arm loosely around Adie.

"Yup, I told you I never miss a Green Day show, every time you were in Chicago I went to see you guys."

"Really?" Mike asks intrigued. "But we've looked for you."

"Oh," I say nodding, "They don't list dorm phone numbers and well I was married so my last name wasn't Clarie for a while."

"You were married!" Billie says raising an eyebrow, "where is such man? Or woman?"

"Umm remarried with a baby girl."

"What happened?"

I look at everyone else in the room, wondering if I should spill the last fifteen years. I sigh and gather my thoughts.

"Well we met in college, we were both friggin wild." Everyone giggles.

"You're not wild anymore?!" Tre says worriedly. "Please don't be a sell out!"

"I'm not, let me finish." Mike kicks Tre's leg and signals me to continue, "Okay so we were friggin wild, and well a month before the end of college we got engaged, got married a month after graduation."

"Awe," Billie and Adie say laughing.

"Thing was, I was still wild and he wanted to settle down."

"Ha-ha, Trix settle down," Mike says laughing. "Was this guy delusional?"

"No, I say sell out," Tre says in mock psychiatrist.

"So Trix, what are you doing now-a-days?" Adie asks as the room service guy brings in the trolley with a case of beer on it. We each grab one in turn and sip them smoothly. I smirk.

"What?" Tre asks evilly.

"I own a live music place," I say proudly. "It's called Green Bay."

"Green Bay?" Mike asks laughing. I nod happily.

"In college my ex, Drew and I always used to go to this place and catch the local bands then the owner closed it down. It was called Gene's Pool back then," I pause, "So Drew, his older brother and I bought it out and started running it. But a year after the divorce they sold back their parts so they could pursue normal jobs."

"Blah!" Billie says squirming in his seat. "How could you marry such a bore?"

"Hey! He was wild in college, just...I don't know, had a different future planned out."

"But enough about me, what's up with you guys?" I ask rocking in my seat eagerly.

"You can look it up on the internet," Tre whines. "Got married, had kids, divorced, made albums, I lost a testy, blah, blah, blah."

"I have not been divorced," Billie says raising a finger.

"Came close," Mike pipes up receiving a death glare from Adie.

"We worked through it and that's all that matters," she says firmly.

"Same with us," Claudia says calmly, "But according to the press we're still broken up." I nod taking this all in.

We each move on to our next bottle of beer around the same time. The radio is playing low in the background.

"I see you all got new tattoos," I say intrigued. Billie smirks.

"I gave Adie my arm."

"Mine." Adie laughs as she hugs his arm. She's obviously had a bit too much to drink. Billie removes his shirt and stands proudly on the coffee table, spinning slowly.

"Very nice Bill." I clap my hands laughing. I take a swig of beer and turn to Mike.
"You next." Mike rolls his eyes laughing as he hands me his beer. We all laugh hysterically as he strips off his shirt in mock sexiness stepping up on the table. He pushes Billie off causing him to collapse next to Adie.

"I'm too sexy for my shirt, too sexy for my shirt, so sexy it hurts," Mike sings smoothly as he tosses his shirt at me. He flexes his muscles and shakes his ass and jumps down off the table. "Tadaa!"

"Tre." I giggle. He smirks evilly as Mike grabs his shirt back from me. Tre strips down to only his boxers and shows off his arm tattoos and his anklet. "You know, I never thought you'd have the guts to get a tattoo." He wiggles his eyebrows, trying not to laugh.

"I'm brave now!" he exclaims as he leaps off the table toward me, I dodge him by an inch. He regains composure and takes his place next to Claudia.

"Hey! What happened to your so called sexy nipple piercing?"

"I uh, got it removed, got caught on stuff when I was doing...stuff," he says smirking.

"What kind of stuff Tre?" Billie asks laughing. Tre sticks his tongue out and crosses his arms.

"Alright Trix, my dear," Mike says tilting his head, "You've gotten new tattoos too."

"Ahh well I'm not going to-"

"Bull shit!" Billie yells, "We've all seen you in only your underwear already."

"I haven't," Claudia says laughing. I roll my eyes and step up on the coffee table.

"Take it off!" Tre yells, receiving a slap on the arm from Claudia. I pull off my t-shirt so that I'm standing there in my bra and sole pair of low rise jeans. Mike stands up and pokes my shoulder.

"That one's really girly," he says poking the pink and purple flower pixie.

"Oh," I say getting down from the coffee table and grabbing my top quickly. I pull on my shirt and a look of concern whips across Billie and Mike's faces. Tre is too busy getting dressed to stare at me.

"Trix," Billie says slowly, "What's that tattoo for?" I feel my eyes welling up and soon the five other people in the room are staring at me. The only sound is the end riff of Alice Cooper's Poison from the radio.

"Trix," Tre says seriously. "You can tell us." I wipe my eyes clean and try to stop more tears from flowing. I take a deep breath as Mike wraps an arm around me.

"I had a miscarriage," I mumble, "When I was with Drew, three months along and-" Mike hugs me tighter. "I was rushed to hospital, there was nothing they could do except tell me it was a girl."

"I'm sorry," Adie says breaking the intolerable silence.

"New topic of conversation," I plead. Claudia nods.

"I saw you have a Green Day tattoo," she says, I laugh.

"I got it when I first started college," I say as everyone laughs, "I guess I'm the first fan to be crazy enough to get a tribute tattoo."

"Yeah well you're the only fan with reason to do so." Billie laughs. "And the first fan to scribble our names onto their journal."

"Oh yeah." I giggle.

"Hope you don't mind, but I let Mike and Tre read it, earlier this year." I just smile.

"I wanna ask you something." I look Billie straight in the eye, "Am I Whatsername?"

"Whatsername is a compilation of several women we've met along the way," Tre says very matter-of-factly.

"Yes." Mike nods, "You were one of those key women."

"Awe, I love you guys."

"Talking about that." I giggle, "Tre did you have the hots for me?" he smirks.

"Yeah."

"OH! I knew it!"

"Trix, we all knew it." Billie laughs. "Yet he's the only one you never slept with."

"Yeah!" Tre says in mock anger, "You slept with Billie since you were three, Mike since you were ten and what about me?"

"Excuse me?" Claudia asks wide eyed.

"It's not what you think," Adie laughs. "No sex involved in this sleeping."

"But why?" Tre asks.

"Because I was afraid you'd get a boner!" I yelp, "I knew Billie and Mike wouldn't."

"Umm, you're wrong there," Mike says smiling.

"What?" we all ask more/less at once.

"I got a boner one time, well actually it was like three of the times well actually maybe more than three.," he says somewhat proud of himself.

"You did?" I gasp.

"Well not me." Billie chuckles. "I guess I'm the only one who never had the hots for Trix."

"And all those baths we took together meant nothing," I say fake crying as everyone roars with laughter. "Yeah, I've never been attracted to you either."

"Well duh, you kept referring to him as your brother." Adie laughs, "Oh I uh read your diary too."

"Trix, did you ever like me?" Tre asks as he rummages through the trolley full of bottles for one with some beer in it.

"Yeah," I say meekly, "But it was during the summer, so I was still with Al so-"

"You should've ditched the zero and got with the hero." He smirks, "Why'd you date the jerk for so long, I mean throughout the diary you were ranting about how great Mike, Shaun and I were but the only thing you said about Al was his spooning abilities."

"I really don't know," I say looking down at my empty beer bottle.

Tre hands me another bottle and grabs one for Claudia and another for himself before sitting down.

"The only reason I had the hots for you was because I was friggin horny and would've pounced anyone," I mumble and everyone bursts out laughing.

"Why me?" he asks cocking an eyebrow, "I mean there was Kain, Eggplant, and oh god who else."

"Dunno, guess cause you were always there." I giggle.

"I feel so used!" Tre yelps as he leaps into Billie's lap. They're all such goofballs, I'm glad they didn't grow up either.

There's a knocking from the door. I get up and trip over my own foot, jeez how many beers did I drink? I open the door and two little boys are standing there. Their eyes bulge.

"Sorry, wrong room," the older one says, he had a similar facial structure to Adie's.

"Wait no," I say opening the door wider.

"Daddy!" The younger one yelps as he runs up to Tre. The older one walks into the room at a slower pace.
"What happened Joey?" Adie asks as she stops laughing.
"Jakob told Frankito about the toilette crawler and he got a nightmare," the boy recites.

"S'okay buddy," Tre says pulling his son onto his lap. The whole scenario seemed so weird to me, Tre and Billie with kids of their own. I had heard that they had kids but actually seeing it in play is just plain weird. "Billie once tried to scare me with that story, trust me it's a pile of horse crap."
"Language." Claudia mumbles.
"Horse doodoo." Tre corrects himself. "Oh Frankito I want you to meet someone." He points to me, "That's Trix."
"No she's not!" the little boy exclaims, "She has black and red hair, you said Trix was a blue haired freak." I glare at Tre, obviously appalled.
"She just dyed her hair," Claudia explains.
"Why did you tie my daddy to a chair?" Frankito asks. I can't help but giggle.
"Because he kept running around and annoying me."

"Well its nice to meet anyone who tied Tre to a chair," Joey says smiling.
"Nice to meet you too," I say extending my hand to shake his. I realize his fingers are callused over. "You play guitar like your dad?"
"Yup, he just started teaching me," he says proudly.
"Well I'd like to hear you play sometime."
"Yeah?" he asks, "I wanna be in a band when I'm older."
"Cool," I say smiling, I look up to see Billie smirking proudly, "Well you know what? I own a music club and when you start a band you can come play there."
"Yeah," he says laughing. "All the way here?"
"Hey if there's a will there's a way."
"Well you should be getting some sleep it's late," Billie says walking over to us.
"But."
"Trix is a bad influence," Billie says, I stick my tongue out at him, "And she's been drinking." Joey just laughs as they head out of the room.

"Ready to go back to bed?" Tre asks Frankito. He nods and Tre carries the boy out of the room.
"Wow kids," I say grabbing another beer and sitting back down next to Mike. Adie just laughs. "Is Jakob yours?" I ask Mike.
"Nope." He laughs, "Bill's. I have a daughter, her name is Estelle, but everyone calls her Stella except for me I call her Hero."
"How many names does a kid need?" I ask laughing as I rest my head against Mike's shoulder. "Cute kids," I mumble.
"Thanks," Adie and Claudia say at the same time.
"Doesn't Tre have two kids?" I murmur, I can feel the beer taking a toll on me, but I take another sip regardless.
"His daughter lives in New York with her mom," Claudia says calmly.
"What about you Mikey?"
"I got married to my long time girlfriend Anastasia." He says calmly, "Then about a couple of years after Stella was born we divorced. She's with her mom right now."
"Oh," I mumble, "Do you see her often?"
"I guess," he says looking down sadly, "Anyway, I got remarried last year and we got divorced like six months later." He's laughing at this point, "Oh god what was I thinking."
"You weren't," Billie says coming back into the room with Tre. "I mean with Anastasia, yeah. But honestly what the fuck were you thinking marrying Sarah."
"C'mon, she was nice in a bitchy sort of way," Adie laughs.
"Did she give good head or something?" Claudia asks laughing, as she said that I realized then that now that she's loosened up she's Tre's match. I can't help but smirk.
"Trix?" Tre asks amused.
"Sorry, the whole evening Claudia seemed so shy for you until that comment." Claudia and Tre burst out laughing.
"Claudia keeps my shit together," Tre says wrapping an arm around her adoringly.
"She's always there for you," Billie says holding his chest and gasping dramatically.

"Hey," Adie laughs.
"Adrienne, you complete me," Billie mumbles as he buries his face in her neck, boo yeah, he's wasted.
"No one's there for me," Mike pouts.
"I'm here for you." I giggle as I kiss his cheek laughing.
"YAY!" Mike says in a very girly voice as he squeezes me in a hug. "Are you there for all aspects?"
"Huh?" I ask taking a swig of beer.
"He means do you do sexual favors." Tre asks laughing.
"For a fee yes." I laugh. "Mind you I'm expensive Pritchard."
"Oh well never mind, I could get someone cheaper down the street." Mike says playfully pushing me away. I kick him as I burst out laughing.
"I think I'm wasted."
"I think so too." Mike laughs. "Just hope you can hold it."
"I can!" I say giggling.

"I'm beat," Claudia says getting up and stretching. "Sorry Trix, but I can't stay up any longer."
"Yeah it's okay," I say realizing I've been nodding off. "I'm about to pass out myself." I stand up and Mike just stares at me.
"You're not going anywhere," he says clearly.
"What?"
"You're wasted, I'm not letting you leave like this."
"Guess I'm crashing here." I laugh as Tre hugs me. He and Claudia leave the room.
"Ahh well see you in the morning," Adie says hugging me. "C'mon Billie wake up."
"I am awake," Billie protests as he stands up. "Nighty night Trix." He hugs me too. As soon as he and Adie leave the room my legs give way and I fall back on the couch.

"C'mon drunky." Mike laughs as he puts my arm over his shoulders and helps me up. He leads me in the separate part of the suite where the bed is. He lays me on the bed and starts to head out the door.
"Where are you going?" I mumble.
"To sleep," he says laughing, "On the couch."
"You shithead," I mumble as I pat the space next to me, "Never stopped you before." He just laughs as he pulls off his jeans and lies next to me in his boxers and t-shirt. This evening was great, I can't help but wonder what would've happened if I didn't leave for college.

I lie there for a while when I'm startled by Mike's arm which is now loosely slung over me. He smells good.
"Mikey."
"Mmm."
"You said you were single, right?"
"Mmmhmm."
"But you smell good." He just chuckles.
"My hygiene has improved significantly in the past fifteen years," he mumbles.