Bastards of Young

I could see Tracy and the Bartender down the beach a little ways, drinking and whispering in each other’s ears as I sat next to the fire with some ska band blaring out of the boom box near me. “Here you go,” came a voice to the other side of me. Looking up with a smile I took the beer from the shaggy haired boy I had been talking to all night.

“Thanks, man. So, do you know who this is,” I asked gesturing to the noisy boom box.

“Um, this band called No Doubt,” he said taking a big swig from his bottle. He had liked my Husker Du shirt and I thought his Rebel Alliance forearm tattoo was cool – we became friends quickly. “I just got this yesterday, but I like it.”

“Yeah,” I agreed. “It’s perfect for a beach party.”

“My line of thought exactly,” he flicked his head to get some of his hair out of the way. “I’m sorry, but we’ve been talking for like two hours and I don’t know your name.”

“Jean,” I said holding out my hand.

“Adam,” he shook my hand with a smile and paused before saying anything else. “So, Jean… are you like…um taken?”

I tried to be as polite and gentle as possible in turning the guy down. He seemed like a sweet dude, a little awkward, but sweet all the same. “I am, actually. Have you ever heard of a local band called Green Day?”

“Yeah,” he said excitedly, “I saw them last week at Ace’s.”

“My boyfriend was the lead singer.” I chuckled to myself as I added, “The dress was mine.”

“Oh, shit! Were you there?”

“Mmhm, front and center as always.”

“Well, fuck… is he going to be here tonight,” Adam started to look around as if Billie was about to pop out of nowhere at any moment.

“Nah, they left for a tour the day before yesterday. He’ll be back in a few weeks, though.”

Adam called out to a girl walking by. “Ashley,” her hair was chopped short and she wore a Berkeley sweat shirt with “sucks” painted underneath it. “Come here,” Adam motioned her our way.

“What’s up, douche bag,” she said with a grin as she approached us.

“This chick’s boyfriend is the lead singer of Green Day!” Ashley’s eyes got wide as my cheeks started to burn.

“No shit! I love those guys!”

“Awesome,” was all I could think to say.

“What’s it like to fuck Billie,” she asked intently as she bent down in front of me.

“Uh…”

“Jean,” to my relief Tracy and the Bartender were heading over to my rescue. “Let’s go see if we can’t run into Jeff at Mr. Wong’s. Maybe he can get us free shit again.”

“Sounds great,” I said hastily getting up to join them. “I’ll see you guys around.”

“Wait,” called Ashley. I turned wearily back to her. “I’m starting a zine… think you could get the guys for an interview?”

I thought for a second. “You let me write and I’ll get you anything you want.”

Her face split into a wide grin. “Deal.”

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I pushed the coupon and tape back towards the plump, balding man in front of me with a sigh. Mondays were such shit. “Sir, I cannot honor that coupon here. It’s a Virgin coupon, meant for Virgin stores. Now, please either pay for the cassette or leave.”

The guy shoved the pile back towards me. This was turning into a really shitty game of Pong. “But, Flipside is taking other store’s coupons on all tape.”

“Well, sir, our sign happens to say 1408 Records and we’re not taking other store’s coupons.”

“Let me talk to the manager.”

“I am the manager and I say no coupons!” Yes, it was a lie, but Rodney had left an hour ago and wasn’t picking up his phone.

“Bullshit,” the guy’s face was the color of an apple. “Where’s the real manager? The hippie?”

“Is there a problem,” Rodney was suddenly walking through the door.

“This guy wants to use a coupon from another store.”

“And this girl is saying she’s the manager and refusing me service!”

“Ah,” Rodney plastered on a smile. “Jean? Back room. One moment, sir.”

Walking into the room I knew whatever was going to happen was going to suck as Rodney eyed me accusingly as he shut the door. “Who do you think you are, making a decision like that without me?”

“I couldn’t get a hold of you! Maybe if you stuck around for more than a third of the day shit would run better!”

He got up close to me with his finger in my face. “That’s none of your business,” he stopped as he realized how this looked. Closing his eyes and taking deep breathe that nearly gagged me as he exhaled he opened his eyes once more. “I don’t think this gig is going to work out, Jean.”

I stood there completely dumbfounded. Finally, my words caught up to my mouth and a nice, “Fuck you,” came spewing out.

“Excuse me,” Rodney looked completely surprised.

“Take this job and shove it, Rod,” with that I stormed out of the back room and made my way to the door. “Fuck you too,” I said to baldy with both of my middle fingers raised to his face.

“Jean, I hope you realize what you walking out means,” came Rodney from the back room doorway.

“Sure do,” I said holding the front door open. “I ain’t workin’ here no more.”

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“I have never been more hot for you,” Billie marveled over the phone a few hours later after I had recounted the whole story to him.

“Yeah, well, I doubt Tracy’s going to be too hot,” I said twirling the phone chord around my finger. “No job will make it hard on paying rent and utilities and you know all that other adult shit.”

“How much do you have saved up?”

“About two-hundred.”

“You’ll be fiiiine. How’s life other than the job thing?”

“Good, I’m going to start writing for a zine.”

“Fucking A! That’s great! You should do more of that, you know? Just get out and explore,” his voice sounded a bit dreamy and it killed me that I couldn’t see the energy in his eyes that always showed up when he adopted that tone.

“I guess.”

“Seriously, Jean,” he sounded stern suddenly, “You’re too cool to work shit jobs the rest of your life.”

“You think so?”

“It’s why I love ya, but look we’re about to head to Chicago. I sent you a post card this morning and I’ve got another one for tomorrow. I’ll call you next week before we get to your parents, okay,” he sounded rushed.

“Okay, be careful.”

“I will be. Love you!” With that the phone went dead. Hanging up as well, I drifted sadly from the kitchen to the living room. Ever since Billie had left I felt lopsided. Tracy had been super sensitive to this and had been trying her best to keep me busy, but it wasn’t the same. She didn’t laugh at the stuff Billie and I would or enjoy sifting through boxes upon boxes of 45s at flea markets.

Sinking into the couch I thought about every dumb little thing Billie and I had done over the last few months like the time we went on a late night walk and it started pouring rain and we had to spend four hours snacking at a Seven Eleven. He spent his last five bucks on a shitty fleece blanket so I wouldn’t get sick. Or the time before we even got together. We were lying on his bed talking about friends we never talked to anymore.

“That won’t ever be us,” he had said, taking a drag from the joint we had been sharing.

“What makes you think that,” I remember the butterflies in my stomach at that moment.

Pressing a finger from his forehead to mine he said, “Because we’re connected. The gods won’t allow it.”

I felt moisture drop down onto my hand and only then did I realize I had started crying. “Fuck,” I breathed leaning my head back on the sofa. Maybe I did love the asshole.