Bastards of Young

Back in California I had to hit the ground running if Tracy and I had any plans of eating next month.

“It’s like I’m being plagued by psychic fucking unemployed assholes,” I lamented to Trace, sinking into a seat at the kitchen table after another fruitless afternoon of job hunting. She gave me a sad look and weak smile as she stirred the green beans we were having for dinner. On the radio Stevie McKnight announced that the Top Eight at Eight was right around the corner.

“Did you go by Hank’s Deli,” she took the spoon out of the pot and got three plates out of the cabinet.

“Yeah,” I sighed and rested my chin on my hand. “They said they’d take a look at my application, but that they were pretty sure they had enough people.”

“Bummer, but --.” There was a drum roll on the front door and for an instant I thought Billie was here before I remembered he was somewhere around Texas. “I’ve got it,” Tracy yelled bounding to the front. “Hey,” I heard her squeal. Leaning forward I saw Tracy wrapping her arms around the Bartender as he spun her around.

“Hellllloooo,” he said in a high pitched voice. Setting her down, he gave her a kiss and pulled back smiling widely. I felt sharp pangs of jealousy as I sat back into my seat.

“Stupid close proximity couples,” I mumbled, crossing my arms.

“What’s for dinner,” I heard the Bartender as their footsteps coming towards the kitchen.

“I’ve got a treat tonight, babe. Green beans and Spam with Oreos for dessert,” Tracy came in first with Bartender close behind, holding her hand.

“Mmm,” he said laughing before seeing me. “Oh, hey Jean! How’d your trip go?”

“Great,” I forced a smile as he took the plates Tracy handed him and began setting them out.

“Will doing okay out on the road?”

“It’s Billie, but yeah, he’s good.”

Bartender placed his plate down and plopped into the seat across from me. “Oh, sorry about that! But, that’s great that he’s having a good time. I’d be miserable – couldn’t stand to be away from my girl that long.” He gave Tracy a wink as I opened my mouth to defend how much Billie missed me, but Tracy cut me off.

“Jean told Billie she loved him,” she sat the green beans down in front of us and turned to get the Spam off the burner. The Bartender’s eyes got wide as he chuckled in surprise.

“Wow! How long have you guys been dating,” the Bartender scooped out green beans for himself and Trace.

“Um… about two months.”

“That’s pretty soon, don’t you think?” Tracy set down the Spam before giving the Bartender a sharp slap on the shoulder. “What?!”

“It’s none of your business!”

I laughed, getting my own serving of green beans and Spam. “It’s cool, Trace. It is really soon, but we just click.”

“Well, right on. I wish you guys luck.”

“Thanks, man,” I cut into my burnt Spam and stuck some beans on the end of my fork to try and make it taste better.

“Oh, and I forgot,” Tracy turned to the Bartender. “Are you guys hiring at the Revue?”

“Actually, a girl quit last night,” the Bartender straightened up, preparing his gossip. “It was crazy, she --.”

“Have you guys replaced her yet,” I asked perking up and leaning forward, excitedly.

“No, not that I know of. Why?”

“Can you make a call? I need a job,” I said on the edge of begging. “I’d owe you a big one.”

“Um, sure, it’s no problem. Do you have any experience being a waitress?”

“I worked at a diner when I was seventeen.”

The Bartender smiled, “Perfect.”

Two hours later found me gainfully employed and walking in the cool April air towards Ashley’s house a few blocks away for a late night opening meeting for the zine. Spring was right around the corner and it was finally at a point where you could walk out without a jacket. I could hear people laughing and talking on their front porches enjoying the weather too.

Lighting a cigarette, my thoughts drifted to Billie as they usually do. He had called yesterday afternoon, excited that they were playing at a club next to an old jazz club that Alex Chilton visited regularly. He had had more interest in Big Star since I put “Blue Moon” on the mix I gave him before they left.

“I wish you were here,” he had said loudly over the people in the streets. “You’d have such a good time!”

“I’d have a good time anywhere you were,” I said slapping myself internally for sounding so sappy. On the other end Billie just chuckled dumbly and I could almost see him grinning widely.

“That’s the best thing I’ve heard all week,” he said finally. It was my turn to grin and blush.

It was then that the phone cut us off and I hadn’t heard from him since. In what I hoped was not a very noticeable attempt to feel close to him again I had been playing the record he had given me before we had parted at me house. It was a little seven inch from a band that was big in a city the guys had played in called Charlie and the Jews. They sounded like what would happen if the Replacements and Nirvana had a baby and I loved it. In the second song on side B, “Elevator Eyes,” there was a lyric that went, “Baby, I was made to stand next to you,” and as Billie pressed it into my hand he said that line always made him think of me. As I turned to walk up Ashley’s apartment sidewalk I couldn’t get the grin off my face.

“Hey, bitch! What’s your malfunction,” a pink haired Ashley said flinging the door open. The smell of pot and trash smacked me in the face as I walked into the filthy studio apartment.

“Um, how are you,” there were already people sitting on the couch and bare mattress on the floor including Adam who waved enthusiastically at me. I grinned and nodded back as I turned back to Ashley.

“Good, but enough shooting the shit. We have business to get to,” she pushed me down onto the couch’s ratty arm next to a really good looking guy with spiky bleached hair. He grinned up at me and I shot him a polite one back before turning my attention back to Ashley.

“Alright guys, what ideas do you have?” A girl in a ripped up Jawbreaker shirt opened her mouth first suggesting they do a story about the rising queercore scene. “I like that, Megan,” Ashley said becoming impressively business-like. “Don’t let it become a big political thing, you know? Just focus on the music.” The girl nodded thoughtfully as she jotted notes down.

Adam’s hand shot up and Ashley rolled her eyes, “Yeah, Adam?”

“Can I write a review of the new L7 record?”

“When does it come out?”

“The 14th.”

“Fine.” Adam did a victorious wave of his fist as Ashley turned towards me. “Have you talked to Green Day?”

“Um, yes… but, you know not exactly about the zine.”

Ashley got a stern look on her face. “Jean, that’ll be our cover story. It’ll really get us out there if we have that piece.”

I nodded. “Okay, Billie’ll call tomorrow – I’ll get like a field report from the tour, you know? All the gritty stories from the road.”

Ashley grinned, “That’s what I want to hear goddamit. Get me the dirt.” She then moved to the other side of the room to ask a guy named Bret if he had any ideas. I felt a nudge on my knee and looked down at the grinning blonde next to me.

“Good save,” he whispered with a stoner’s drawl.

“Thanks,” I said with a smirk.

“I’m Kevin.”

“Jean.”

“That’s very rock star,” my mind shot back to the first night I met Billie. Kevin bit his lip still grinning and leaned back on the couch, listening to Ashley again as I got lost in thoughts about my boy abroad.

I thought I had the apartment to myself as I walked into the dark living room that is until I heard Tracy and the Bartender yelling at me to not turn on the light from over by the TV.

“We’ll go to my room,” Tracy said scurrying passed me, the sound of a giggling Bartender right behind her.

“I miss when it was me doing the running naked into the night,” I said to no one in particular.

“That reminds me,” Tracy called from her room. “Billie called! Look on your dresser.” With that that I heard the door slam shut. Turning on my light I found our boom box sitting on my dresser with a tape sitting on top of it and a note that read, Listen to me!!!

Popping in the tape I was met with Tracy’s voice. “Okay, Bill? I’m going to put the phone up to the mic. You’re good to go.”

After some shuffling, Billie’s voice came crackling through the boom box speakers. “Heeeeeey, Jean! I was just calling to say I love you… oh God, isn’t that a horrible Stevie Wonder song,” I laughed, shaking my head, “Christ, anyways, I love you and I can’t wait to see you aaaaaaaaand I hope you’re enjoying that record as much as I am enjoying your mix as I’ve said a thousand times.”

“Billie, are you done,” Tracy said impatiently. “Okay, but hurry the fuck up!”

Billie’s voice came back. “Now, I’m just going to blab so I can annoy Tracy. Soooo, um, did you know Ray Davies stabbed Dave in the chest with a fork because Dave stole a fry off his plate? Crazy, right? Oh, and I heard you got another job. Congrats, beautiful! You still need to go back to school though. Fuck, I never thought I’d say that! Oh and when I get back I love you and all, but I will probably crash for the entire first day. I’m running on six cups of coffee right now. You can still do stuff to me though while I sleep,” I could hear laughter in his voice. “I won’t deprive you of th--.”

“Billie! God,” Tracy was back. “Okay, say it then!”

“Okay, wow, she’s pushy as shit! Anyway, I love you and I hate ending a day without hearing it from you, but such is my life. Be good until I get back. Then you can be bad. We should try --.” There was some shuffling and then a long silence. Frowning, I was about to hit the stop button until Tracy squealed from the speakers.

“Ew! Billie, what the fuck? …I thought you would be done! Where the fuck did hear about doing that? …Well, she won’t go for something like that. I don’t think prostitutes would go for that shit,” I was doubled over in laughter by this point as curiosity started to creep in on me. “Okay, okay, bye.”

There was a click as the Bartender’s voice came through. “What was that about?”

“Don’t worry about it. Oh and Jean,” I stopped laughing in hopes she would give me a hint as to what Billie had said. “His name’s Larry,” with that there was a click indicating the message was over.

At the sound of the Bartender’s name I flinched as if Tracy had struck me. “Bitch!”