Status: Awesome.
Bastards of Young
26
“Jean, think fast,” I turned just in time for a rather large pack of toilet paper to become acquainted with my face. The toilet paper bounced into my hands as Tracy doubled over in laughter.
“Fuck, Trace,” chucking the dumb thing into the cart, I stalked away into the next aisle. Behind me I heard the squeak of wheels as Tracy called for me to wait.
“Jean, c’mon,” she pleaded. “It was a joke!” I ignored her and continued my aimless walking through the store. Finally, she grabbed my arm and turned me towards her with a frown. “What the fuck is wrong with you today?”
“Nothing,” I shrugged knowing full and well what exactly was bugging me.
“Bullshit, you’ve been bitchy since you got up.”
“Look, I’m sorry. I over reacted. I’m just tired,” I reasoned lamely.
“Is this about Billie?”
“Maybe….”
Tracy expression softened a little. “I know it’s shitty that you haven’t heard from him, but I mean, it’s Europe. We can’t exactly afford the long distance….”
“Yeah, I know,” I scuffed my shoes on the linoleum of the store. “I just expected at least a letter or something by now.” It had been two weeks since the guys had got on their plane and the lack of communication was driving me up the wall. It was starting to feel as if the last few months had all just been a great dream.
“Well, hey, maybe there’ll be a letter or two when we get back – until then… cheer up, okay? You’re being annoying,” she rubbed my shoulder comfortingly as she said all of this, causing me to laugh.
“You’re right. I’m sorry… the toilet paper thing was pretty hilarious,” I grinned sheepishly as Tracy laughed again.
“Dude, you’re head snapped back like a Pez dispenser.”
“Yay, for whip lash,” I said unenthusiastically.
Tracy turned me back around as she wrapped an arm around my shoulder and began to lead me down the aisle. “C’mon, let go get some wine and get wasted tonight.”
“Sounds like a plan, Old Girl.”
A few letterless hours later I decided to walk down to a local coffee shop while Tracy ran an errand for Rosa. It was warm enough for short sleeves, but I still wore a jacket to protect me from the steadily falling rain.
“Singing in the rain, just singing in the rain,” I jumped up and down off the curb as I walked, splashing water as I sang. An old Ford pulled up next to me and I froze as it slowed to a stop.
“What the fuck are you doing,” asked an amused Kevin from the passenger’s seat as his friend stifled laughter.
“Oh, you know… practicing for Broadway,” I could feel myself blushing as I scratched the back of my head.
“Well, stop.” I just chuckled nervously as we fell into an awkward silence.
“So, I’ll see you later,” I said finally.
“No, wait,” Kevin mumbled something to his friend as he got out of the car. His friend waved and then sped off, turning at the next corner, leaving Kevin standing in the road with his hands in his pockets. “Where are you headed?”
“Um, De Bean,” I said awkwardly.
“Cool, me too!”
“Nice,” I chuckled. We started to silently walk towards the coffee house.
“So, how’s the rock star,” Kevin kicked at a rock as he spoke. “Any crazy European stories yet?”
My stomach dropped. “I don’t know… he hasn’t tried to contact me since he left.”
“Oh… well, I mean, I wouldn’t worry. I went over there with a band once and it’s just like… wow. Crazy. And postage is crazy expensive.”
“Really,” I asked starting to feel slightly better.
“Oh, yeah,” he gave the rock one final kick into the side of a trash can. “I was dating this one chick, she was a psycho hose beast, but you know at the time I still thought she was a god. Anyway, I tried sending her a post card, but the thing would have cost me two days worth of eating money!”
“Shit.”
“I know, right? What I did is I wrote a post card everyday and then gave them all to her as a booklet when I got back.”
I raised my eyebrows at him. “That is surprisingly sweet, Kevin.”
He laughed and shook his head. “Nah, I just really wanted to get laid.”
“Did it work?”
“Very well,” he said with a goofy wink. For the rest of the walk he told me about his time in Europe. I was so engrossed that I hardly noticed we had reached the shop until he held the door open and I was hit with a wall of French roast and espresso fragrances. “So, I’m standing there, beating on the van door while John’s in there with some ugly chick he met at a bar and suddenly the dumb ass opens the door and says ‘Five minutes, Kev, seriously!’”
“What did you do?”
“I told him he only had a minute and he says, ‘No problem. Be right out.’”
“Wow.”
“Yeah, Jack, the lead singer, told everybody at the show about it too and they like shined a spot light on John and this girl and you know what John says?”
“I can’t imagine….”
“The fucker says, ‘Hey, we all make mistakes.’”
We both started laughing as our turn to order came up. “You have the craziest stories,” I said a few minutes later as we took a seat by the window.
“Eh, I like it that way.”
I shook my head in agreement, “Me too. I think that’s ninety percent of the reason I came out here.”
“And have you gotten what you came for so far?”
“I think so… I mean this whole thing with Billie has been pretty crazy so far.”
“Yeah, I don’t think I’ve ever fallen for some one in four months.”
I chuckled. “When you say it like that it makes me feel crazy.” Kevin continued to grin, but merely shrugged as an answer. “You think I’m crazy, don’t you?”
“I didn’t say that.”
“But you thought it.”
“I just think four months is the puppy dog phase and you won’t know what’s real and what isn’t completely until you get out of it.”
I bit my lip, “Maybe you’re right.”
“Maybe…,” he shifted as he changed the subject. “What do you think about MRR reviewing the zine?”
I felt pure excitement bubble up in my stomach. “I think it’s awesome, especially since they liked it!”
“I know! God, I really hope this works out or at least leads to me building up something resembling a career.”
“You want to be a rock writer too?”
“It’s my calling,” he said solemnly.
I giggled, “I think it might be mine too.”
He leaned forward earnestly, “You’re story was really good. A lot different from everyone else’s style. It was like… you weren’t afraid to geek out and you know... read like you were enjoying yourself.”
I leaned forward too, “Never be afraid to geek out, young one. Never be afraid.”
By the time we got back to the apartment we were both soaked. “You sure you don’t want to come in and warm up or… you know borrow a jacket or something,” I asked a shivering Kevin worriedly.
“Nah, nah… been through worse in ‘Nam.”
“You’re weird as shit,” I laughed.
“Yep!”
We both paused for a second, unsure of what to do next. Scared of where the silence might lead I took control. “Well, see you around.”
“Definitely,” with that I turned on my heel and walked up the stairs to the inviting apartment.
“I’m home,” I called out as I took off my jacket and hung it up. The TV was on with some new MTV video playing as clangs echoed from the kitchen.
“Where were you,” came Tracy’s disembodied voice.
“I went to get coffee,” I crossed the living room and found Trace pouring pancake batter into a pan. “Oh, sweet, breakfast for dinner!”
“You seem in a better mood.”
“Yeah, the walk cleared my head,” walking to the refrigerator I pulled out a store brand version of Coke and cracked it open. “Ran into that Kevin guy from the zine and hung out.”
“Cool,” she said, uninterested. Suddenly her eyes lit up. “Oh, Rosa said you got a letter!”
A lump jumped into my throat and I almost dropped the drink. “Where?”
“On the table,” she jerked her head over to the dining area. I’m not sure my feet touched the ground as I made my way to the table and scooped the letter up, ripping it open as if my life depended on it.
Jean (A.K.A. Sugar Tits Hot Pants Jr. Phd.)
Words fail me when I try and put into this how much I fucking miss you. I feel like “Answering Machine” only I can’t call you.
Things are awesome out here. We’re really learning a lot, but I ate some horrible pie thing from a questionable fast food stand. Seriously, I feel sooooo sick right now. Blegh. And holy shit, the stories I have for you. I don’t want to tell you anything yet, but they’ll blow your mind. Hint: severed head. Disclaimer: Tre’s fine.
I can’t wait to hear your stories. I’m kind of afraid I’ll come home and everything will have changed. Not like with us exactly, but it’s hard to explain on paper in the five minutes I have to write this.
Anyways, I love you and have decided I’m not going to leave ever again unless you can go with me.
Be good,
Bill
It was dated from about at the beginning of the tour. Happiness swelled through me at the prospect of a stream of these coming in soon. Looking it over again I wondered if he didn’t eat for two days just to say hey.
“Fuck, Trace,” chucking the dumb thing into the cart, I stalked away into the next aisle. Behind me I heard the squeak of wheels as Tracy called for me to wait.
“Jean, c’mon,” she pleaded. “It was a joke!” I ignored her and continued my aimless walking through the store. Finally, she grabbed my arm and turned me towards her with a frown. “What the fuck is wrong with you today?”
“Nothing,” I shrugged knowing full and well what exactly was bugging me.
“Bullshit, you’ve been bitchy since you got up.”
“Look, I’m sorry. I over reacted. I’m just tired,” I reasoned lamely.
“Is this about Billie?”
“Maybe….”
Tracy expression softened a little. “I know it’s shitty that you haven’t heard from him, but I mean, it’s Europe. We can’t exactly afford the long distance….”
“Yeah, I know,” I scuffed my shoes on the linoleum of the store. “I just expected at least a letter or something by now.” It had been two weeks since the guys had got on their plane and the lack of communication was driving me up the wall. It was starting to feel as if the last few months had all just been a great dream.
“Well, hey, maybe there’ll be a letter or two when we get back – until then… cheer up, okay? You’re being annoying,” she rubbed my shoulder comfortingly as she said all of this, causing me to laugh.
“You’re right. I’m sorry… the toilet paper thing was pretty hilarious,” I grinned sheepishly as Tracy laughed again.
“Dude, you’re head snapped back like a Pez dispenser.”
“Yay, for whip lash,” I said unenthusiastically.
Tracy turned me back around as she wrapped an arm around my shoulder and began to lead me down the aisle. “C’mon, let go get some wine and get wasted tonight.”
“Sounds like a plan, Old Girl.”
A few letterless hours later I decided to walk down to a local coffee shop while Tracy ran an errand for Rosa. It was warm enough for short sleeves, but I still wore a jacket to protect me from the steadily falling rain.
“Singing in the rain, just singing in the rain,” I jumped up and down off the curb as I walked, splashing water as I sang. An old Ford pulled up next to me and I froze as it slowed to a stop.
“What the fuck are you doing,” asked an amused Kevin from the passenger’s seat as his friend stifled laughter.
“Oh, you know… practicing for Broadway,” I could feel myself blushing as I scratched the back of my head.
“Well, stop.” I just chuckled nervously as we fell into an awkward silence.
“So, I’ll see you later,” I said finally.
“No, wait,” Kevin mumbled something to his friend as he got out of the car. His friend waved and then sped off, turning at the next corner, leaving Kevin standing in the road with his hands in his pockets. “Where are you headed?”
“Um, De Bean,” I said awkwardly.
“Cool, me too!”
“Nice,” I chuckled. We started to silently walk towards the coffee house.
“So, how’s the rock star,” Kevin kicked at a rock as he spoke. “Any crazy European stories yet?”
My stomach dropped. “I don’t know… he hasn’t tried to contact me since he left.”
“Oh… well, I mean, I wouldn’t worry. I went over there with a band once and it’s just like… wow. Crazy. And postage is crazy expensive.”
“Really,” I asked starting to feel slightly better.
“Oh, yeah,” he gave the rock one final kick into the side of a trash can. “I was dating this one chick, she was a psycho hose beast, but you know at the time I still thought she was a god. Anyway, I tried sending her a post card, but the thing would have cost me two days worth of eating money!”
“Shit.”
“I know, right? What I did is I wrote a post card everyday and then gave them all to her as a booklet when I got back.”
I raised my eyebrows at him. “That is surprisingly sweet, Kevin.”
He laughed and shook his head. “Nah, I just really wanted to get laid.”
“Did it work?”
“Very well,” he said with a goofy wink. For the rest of the walk he told me about his time in Europe. I was so engrossed that I hardly noticed we had reached the shop until he held the door open and I was hit with a wall of French roast and espresso fragrances. “So, I’m standing there, beating on the van door while John’s in there with some ugly chick he met at a bar and suddenly the dumb ass opens the door and says ‘Five minutes, Kev, seriously!’”
“What did you do?”
“I told him he only had a minute and he says, ‘No problem. Be right out.’”
“Wow.”
“Yeah, Jack, the lead singer, told everybody at the show about it too and they like shined a spot light on John and this girl and you know what John says?”
“I can’t imagine….”
“The fucker says, ‘Hey, we all make mistakes.’”
We both started laughing as our turn to order came up. “You have the craziest stories,” I said a few minutes later as we took a seat by the window.
“Eh, I like it that way.”
I shook my head in agreement, “Me too. I think that’s ninety percent of the reason I came out here.”
“And have you gotten what you came for so far?”
“I think so… I mean this whole thing with Billie has been pretty crazy so far.”
“Yeah, I don’t think I’ve ever fallen for some one in four months.”
I chuckled. “When you say it like that it makes me feel crazy.” Kevin continued to grin, but merely shrugged as an answer. “You think I’m crazy, don’t you?”
“I didn’t say that.”
“But you thought it.”
“I just think four months is the puppy dog phase and you won’t know what’s real and what isn’t completely until you get out of it.”
I bit my lip, “Maybe you’re right.”
“Maybe…,” he shifted as he changed the subject. “What do you think about MRR reviewing the zine?”
I felt pure excitement bubble up in my stomach. “I think it’s awesome, especially since they liked it!”
“I know! God, I really hope this works out or at least leads to me building up something resembling a career.”
“You want to be a rock writer too?”
“It’s my calling,” he said solemnly.
I giggled, “I think it might be mine too.”
He leaned forward earnestly, “You’re story was really good. A lot different from everyone else’s style. It was like… you weren’t afraid to geek out and you know... read like you were enjoying yourself.”
I leaned forward too, “Never be afraid to geek out, young one. Never be afraid.”
By the time we got back to the apartment we were both soaked. “You sure you don’t want to come in and warm up or… you know borrow a jacket or something,” I asked a shivering Kevin worriedly.
“Nah, nah… been through worse in ‘Nam.”
“You’re weird as shit,” I laughed.
“Yep!”
We both paused for a second, unsure of what to do next. Scared of where the silence might lead I took control. “Well, see you around.”
“Definitely,” with that I turned on my heel and walked up the stairs to the inviting apartment.
“I’m home,” I called out as I took off my jacket and hung it up. The TV was on with some new MTV video playing as clangs echoed from the kitchen.
“Where were you,” came Tracy’s disembodied voice.
“I went to get coffee,” I crossed the living room and found Trace pouring pancake batter into a pan. “Oh, sweet, breakfast for dinner!”
“You seem in a better mood.”
“Yeah, the walk cleared my head,” walking to the refrigerator I pulled out a store brand version of Coke and cracked it open. “Ran into that Kevin guy from the zine and hung out.”
“Cool,” she said, uninterested. Suddenly her eyes lit up. “Oh, Rosa said you got a letter!”
A lump jumped into my throat and I almost dropped the drink. “Where?”
“On the table,” she jerked her head over to the dining area. I’m not sure my feet touched the ground as I made my way to the table and scooped the letter up, ripping it open as if my life depended on it.
Jean (A.K.A. Sugar Tits Hot Pants Jr. Phd.)
Words fail me when I try and put into this how much I fucking miss you. I feel like “Answering Machine” only I can’t call you.
Things are awesome out here. We’re really learning a lot, but I ate some horrible pie thing from a questionable fast food stand. Seriously, I feel sooooo sick right now. Blegh. And holy shit, the stories I have for you. I don’t want to tell you anything yet, but they’ll blow your mind. Hint: severed head. Disclaimer: Tre’s fine.
I can’t wait to hear your stories. I’m kind of afraid I’ll come home and everything will have changed. Not like with us exactly, but it’s hard to explain on paper in the five minutes I have to write this.
Anyways, I love you and have decided I’m not going to leave ever again unless you can go with me.
Be good,
Bill
It was dated from about at the beginning of the tour. Happiness swelled through me at the prospect of a stream of these coming in soon. Looking it over again I wondered if he didn’t eat for two days just to say hey.