Have We Gone Too Far?

When I left Cole I felt a bit better but then I remembered I’d have to go to form. I’m not going there. Not if he’s going to be there. What if he speaks to me? What if he simply looks at me? it’s settled; I'm not going to form today! No chance!

I could always start drinking again, but it’s a bad habit I'm trying to give up for now. It’s probably best that I don’t take any of the drugs I have stashed in my bag. They’re not exactly good for me either. So, what else can I do? Thinking or just sitting and doing nothing is a big no; I’ll just end up remembering things I don’t want to remember or thinking about things I’d rather not.

There must be something to do! Somewhere where I can hide away from everyone and everything for an hour tops. That way I won’t miss too much and could just say I was late. Great plan! The only problem is there isn't a place I can run away to; at least not here at school.

As I roamed the corridors I bumped into a friendly face and smiled at him. Why wasn't he in form? There’s not much of a chance that he’d got sent out. Maybe he didn’t want to come in either.

“Hey Zan,” I whispered so no nearby teachers could hear us.

“Hi,” he smiled at me.

“You’re not in form?” I said, making it sound like more of a question than an observation.

“I’d rather not be there today,” he sighed. “Do you want to go somewhere else?” he asked me.

I nodded smugly and followed him through the door which led to the yard and then we sneaked around the building and out of the gates at the front of the school. Freedom!

“Where are we going now?” I asked.

“You’re the one who lives around here,” he chuckled. “I'm new; I don’t know where anything is.”

“How about we go down to this beach I like visiting and then head back in time for lunch?” I suggested.

“Sounds great Zack,” he grinned. “Lead the way,” he said gesturing in front of him.

“Gladly.”

At that moment I really wanted to take hold of his hand but in the end I decided against it. He might find it weird and also I'm with someone. Someone I love and really care about... Holding hands with him wouldn't change that though, would it?

***

We walked all the way to the beach by the café. By the time we got there I was so worn out that I had to borrow money from Zander to get a drink to try and cool me down. I have no idea how I’ll pay him back but I promised that I would.

“Do you want to muck about on the beach?” I asked him, smirking a little.

“Go on then,” he smiled.

I watched as he walked out of the room for a moment. He looked amazing from behind. Heck there wasn't an angle he didn’t look incredible from. Whichever side you see of him is impressive; perfect even. I can’t believe I'm thinking these things about him. I'm sure he’d be uncomfortable if he knew.

“Have you got your phone with you?” he asked me as we were walking down onto the beach.

“Mr. Sanders has got it,” I frowned trying to make Zan think it had been confiscated. “Why?” I asked him.

“I wanted some pictures,” he blushed.

“Oh did you now,” I said reacting to the pink in his cheeks. “Why would you want them Zan?” I asked in a teasing voice.

He was blushing even more now; it was adorable.

“Well?” I asked poking his small sides making him squirm a little.

“It’s just you’re my first proper friend and... in case something happens I’d like to have more than just memories,” he explained shyly. “I don’t have many things from before I moved here because I wasn't allowed to bring them so all I have are the memories,” he sighed, staring off into space.

“That’s pretty deep Zan,” I mumbled. “I'm your first friend!” I laughed making him lightly hit my arm.

“Shut up!” he smiled, knowing that I was only messing with him.

He has a beautiful smile. With lips like his how couldn’t his smile be beautiful. Oh, the things I’d do to plant my lips against his. Wow.

“So, what should we do now?” I asked him, wanting him to suggest something in case he wasn't too keen on what I wanted to do.

“We could just lie down in the sand for a bit,” he smiled at me.

As long as I'm lying next to him I’ll be fine with that.

“Sure,” I smiled.

We both got comfortable in the sand and ended up staring at each other; looking right into the other’s eyes. It was an amazing moment because neither of us flinched away nor felt awkward. It was just perfect.

After a while Zander started giggling which obviously set me off as well. I have no idea why we’re even laughing. I know I’m only doing it because he is but there’s no reason for him to be like this.

We were both laughing so hard that it was hurting now and we had to hold our sides to try and stop it hurting so much. The pain was making me laugh even harder though; weird.

God his laugh was so cute; just like him. God I want to hug him right now! He’d feel great in my arms.

“Why are we laughing?” I chuckled, as my cheeks started to hurt from all of the smiling.

“I-I don’t... know!” he laughed.

The urge to hold him was too much to control now. Before I knew what I was doing I’d pulled the small giggling adorable boy into my arms. He felt right there. It was like he belongs with me.

He looked up at me and smiled, which made me feel a lot less nervous. He doesn’t mind me holding him! Yes!

“What’re you doing?” he asked me, trying not to laugh.

I had to look away from him to stop myself from kissing him right there and then. Why did I want to kiss him? It wasn't even that I wanted to it was like I needed to. Calm down. You’re with Cole.

“Just messing about,” I smiled.

Right then Zan could no longer control his laughter and ended up bursting out giggling, spitting all over me! If he wasn't him I’d of killed him.His spit on me isn't that bad.

“Sorry,” he giggled innocently.

“Oh you will be!” I joked as I wrapped my arms around him and lifted him up. “You’ll pay for that Zan!” I chuckled evilly.

“Put me down Zack!” he laughed as I carried him across the beach and he kicked his legs against me.

“Someone’s going to get a little wet,” I smiled.

“I hate you,” he laughed so I knew he was joking.

We were right in front of the water now and Zan was actually begging me not to do this. He’s so cute.

“Tell me I'm the greatest person ever!” I demanded.

“You’re the greatest person ever.”

“Kiss me,” I whispered.

I suddenly realized what I’d just said. Crap! I take it back! I didn’t mean to say that.

“What?” he gasped.

“Nothing,” I muttered.

“Did you ask me to kiss you?” he asked.

“No! I wouldn't do that,” I lied.

This is getting a little awkward now.

“You did,” he said teasingly. “I heard you.”

“I bloody didn’t Zan!”

Why am I getting so angry with him? Oh that’s right; he won’t drop the bloody subject. Why can’t he just act like he didn’t hear it? I mean it’s obvious that I regret saying it.

“You did,” he whispered into my ear.

His breath made me shiver a little.

“Zan, you’re not in the position to argue with me right now,” I smiled, remembering that I could drop him into the water at any point.

I walked further into the water as he starting trying to wind me up again. I didn’t know he could be annoying. I didn’t know someone could be so cute when they’re annoying me.

“You did,” he screeched as I chucked him into the sea. “Crap it’s cold,” he shouted.

“I know I'm sort of standing in here too,” I laughed at him.

“Revenge!” he shouted as he started splashing me and pulled me down into the water with him.

“Oh you’re going down now!” I threatened as we started wrestling with each other under the water.

When our heads were above the water again we were both laughing. I had a kind of weird feeling now but my goal is to ignore it.

We were both soaked with water dripping down our faces and our hair pinned down against our skin. As usual Zander was still looking pretty good.

“You do know we’re going to end up going back to school wet now,” I told him.

“Oh well,” he smiled at me. “Is this what you wanted?” he asked me as he came closer and pressed his lips against mine.

His lips were so soft against mine. The surprise of the kiss made it even better than I expected it would be. I actually felt awful when he pulled away from me.

“Yeah,” I whispered. “That’s what I wanted,” I smiled.