Have We Gone Too Far?

The police are in Zack’s room at the moment asking him about what happened. Right now I'm really nervous for him though; he’s not ready for something like this. He won’t be able to hold himself together when he’s talking to them, I know he won’t. It’s not that he isn't strong enough to do that, it’s just he’s been getting worked up about this for ages and now that he has to face them, I just know he’s going to struggle.

I’ll probably be just as nervous as he is when it’s my turn. I have things to hide as well. I suppose I don’t have to hide it but at the moment I think it’s my responsibility to do this. The thing is I knew this was going to happen to him. If I got there quicker it might not have even happened. That text message was most likely from the person who did this to him, and I have a feeling that Zack knows more about his attacker than he’s letting on.

He told me it was a random attack, but the way he hesitated before telling me that made it obvious that he knows who did this to him. To be honest I don’t know if that’s a good thing or a bad one. Just because he knows his attacker, that doesn’t necessarily mean that he’s less worried. I know when the attacker is anonymous it’d be harder, seeing as it could be anyone. Zack could be thinking that random people in the streets were the ones who did this to him. But then again, if you know who it is and know that they’re dangerous, wouldn't you be just as worried about it? Just as scared.

Should I tell the police about the texts? I know it would probably help them but if my theory about the attacker being the one sending them is right, and if I'm right about Zack hiding something about who did this to him, then maybe I shouldn’t tell them. I mean if Zack won’t tell me about it he defiantly won’t want the police knowing, if that makes any sense at all.

My head started throbbing from the amount of thinking I was doing, which proves how worried I was seeing as I was over thinking this that much. I thought a bit of fresh air would be a good idea so I went outside for a moment and sat down on a wall outside the hospital. It was cold but I’d rather it be like that at the moment.

My hands went into my pockets in search for my phone. After checking that it wasn't Zack’s one that I pulled out I turned it on and found a text message from John. If he’s set the house on fire again I’ll bloody kill him! He’s done that once before you see. He was cooking and then decided that it would be a good idea to go out for a drink. By the time I got home the kitchen was totally wrecked. I take fewer chances with him now, he’s very rarely allowed in the kitchen after that.

How’s Zack? What’s happened? Are you alright? Oh and can I bring a girl over?

I rolled my eyes at the last part. He already knows the answer to that question and there’s no chance that I'm going to budge on that one.

He’ll be alright, I typed, hoping that I was right. He looked a mess to be honest but he’s going to be alright in the end, I can feel it. The girl he was with wasn't so lucky though. She’s in a pretty bad way. They wouldn't tell me what was wrong with her but I knew it was serious. Her parents were called recently, so another role I'm playing is keeping an eye out for them. They may need someone to be there. Apparently it was a random attack. I continued to text. I don’t think it was though. Don't worry about me, I'm just perfect. There’s nothing bothering me at all... I wish. No girls John! Seriously! I finished and pressed send before turning it off and placing it back in my pocket.

Might as well head back inside before they come looking for me; I wouldn't want them thinking I'm avoiding them. When I was back inside I noticed that the police had left Zack’s room, so I immediately headed over to him to make sure that everything was okay.

“How was it?” I asked him as I walked in.

He looked a little nervous and on edge but it didn’t seem like he’d been crying. He did however look a lot shyer than usually, something defiantly happened.

“Alright,” he whispered. “I them you were just walking by when you found us,” he muttered.

I smiled lightly but I don’t really want him covering for me. At least I know I won’t be getting any really hard questions, if only that wasn't because they’d just used them on Zack.

“Are you in trouble?” I asked him, knowing that that should be one of my main worries at the moment. He won’t get sent down for anything though; he hasn’t really done anything wrong.

“A caution and they’re going to talk to me and my mum and dad when they get here,” he whispered. “Not too bad though.”

Weakly I nodded at him.

“How do you feel about it?” I asked.

His eyes looked down to his feet and I could tell he was still feeling really nervous.

“Bad,” he sighed. “I'm not going to be able to do anything-”

“I won’t let them hurt you,” I interrupted him, trying to make him feel better.

“It’s not just that,” he whispered. “I won’t be able to get a job or anything if it goes on my record.”

“You will,” I said straight away. “Trust me. You have nothing to worry about.”

I knew he had a good point and maybe he was right. He’ll struggle getting work with a criminal record, but I know he will get a job. It’s another one of my feelings; I just believe that he can overcome this.

“Okay,” he whispered.

We sat in silence for a while, just looking at each other until the nurse walked back in. She smiled at me before she spoke; she’s obviously a bright kind of person, unless this is just an act she plays when at work.

“The police would like a word with you Mr. Sanders,” she told me. “Could you follow me please?”

I did as she said and stood up, giving Zack one last look of encouragement before walking out and following the nurse to one of the office rooms.

“Good luck,” she said cheerfully and then headed back over to Zack’s room.

After taking in a deep breath I knocked on the door and walked in. They were defiantly expecting me. There was a man and a woman sat at one side of a desk and a seat at the other side with I assumed was for me. The room was very small and seemed sound proof so that no one was able to listen in.

“Cole Sander?” the male asked.

“Oh, yeah sorry,” I smiled.

Boy, I'm a lot more nervous than I thought I was. I sat down in the seat opposite them as the male extended his hand.

“I'm PC Harper,” he said as we shook hands. “And this is PC Billinge,” he said as I shook hands with the female officer.

Here we go, I sighed mentally.

“So, Mr. Sanders, what were you doing before the incident last night?” PC Billinge asked me.

Why do they need to know that?

“Erm, well I got home from work at the usual time, around five maybe. Then got some marking done and spent some time with my brother,” I told them. I wasn't sure if all of that was relevant, or true, but it was all I could think of to answer that question.

“So from spending time with your brother, how did you end up alone outside of the club?” she asked me.

“Well,” I sighed. Crap. I seriously should have thought this through a little more! Okay, calm down! They can smell your fear. What? “I, we were at my place and I er decided I wanted to go out for some air,” I told them stuttering on the odd word. I'm really bad at talking to official kind of people. That’s why I don’t generally expect to do well in job interviews and things like that.

“Why would you go on a walk in a rough place like that?” PC Harper asked me.

Suddenly I started to feel like they had something on me or at least knew that I was hiding something. Usually they wouldn't be this hard on witnesses; at least I don’t think they would.

“I thought I could go for a drink as well, relax a little. It’s been a long week,” I told them.

They nodded at me and started writing something in their notebooks. The fact that they were writing down what I was saying made me feel even more uncomfortable.

“You work at the school Beth and Zack are at, don’t you?” the woman asked me.

“Yes. I'm a student mentor and I'm starting as a substitute next Monday.”

“Have you gotten to know them well would you say?”

I looked at her strangely. What did she mean by well? Sure I know them, a bit I guess, but was she getting at something else. Something like the relationship Zack and I are in.

Of course that’s not what she’s on about Cole. Calm down.

“Well, I’ve had one session with Beth and Zack is someone that I see quite regularly,” I explained and then cussed myself a little. What if I thought I meant something else by session? You need to choose better!

“What were the sessions about?” they asked.

When they said that, for some reason all I could wonder was what this had to do with anything that happened last night. I mean, shouldn’t they be asking if I saw anything or anyone there?

“I don’t know if I can say,” I mumbled. “They’re meant to be confidential.”

That wasn't meant to be a smart answer, it was just the truth.

“In this situation you are allowed to tell us,” the man told me.

“Right,” I smiled awkwardly. “Beth told me about her pregnancy,” I sighed, as I thought about something. Will she get in any trouble now? I have no idea.

“And Zack?”

“He’s, erm, well Zack...” I trailed off trying to think of something. “He hasn’t been eating right or at all really,” I whispered. That was the reason he had to see me in the first place. That’s why Mr. Baker first brought him to me.

“Okay,” they smiled at me as if they were trying to support me a little. Weird.

“Back to last night then,” PC Harper changed the topic back. “How did you end up finding them?”

“Well... I was about to go into the club but I heard someone shout me. At first I didn’t think it was me they were trying to get but when I looked I saw Zack and Beth, on the floor,” my voice got quieter as I went along. “Beth was unconscious and Zack was trying to get up, he was covered in blood and... I didn’t really know what was happening. I just called an ambulance straight away and tried to comfort them until it came.”

“What did you do to comfort them?” the woman asked making me go a little red.

I kissed him, I hugged him. I just realized that I must have just left Beth there. All I could think about was Zack. I'm awful...

“I, er, made sure he was warm and I talked to him,” I stuttered out.

“What did you say to him?”

I started fidgeting with my hands a bit and I glanced down to the floor.

“I told him it was all going to be okay,” I sniffed.

“How did you help Beth?” the male asked.

I didn’t. Slowly I shook my head at him.

“Did you help Beth?” the woman asked me.

“I didn’t know what to do,” I whispered.

“Are you saying that you only helped Zack?” she interrogated.

My shame filled head nodded at them. This was defiantly not what I expected to happen in here. I didn’t imagine any of these questions at all. Why didn’t I help her though? Zack couldn’t have been on my mind so much that I’d forget about her. I know I love him but... Wait, that is why I didn’t help her. I was too worried about Zack. He’s my Zack and I was scared to death that he was hurt; so scared that I tossed all thoughts about her out.

“Yes,” I sighed. “And before you ask I don’t know why,” I said harshly, lying of course.

They nodded a little at me and jotted that down in their books.

“Did you see anyone or anything strange on that night?” they asked.

“No, not at all,” I said.

“Okay, thanks you Mr. Sanders,” PC Billinge said to me.

Shortly after that I was finally allowed to leave. That was a lot more difficult than I thought it’d be. A lot! My mouth had actually gone dry and my head was once again hurting from all of the talking and thinking I had to do in there. At least it’s over, for now anyway.

To help with my head I went into the hospital canine and got a glass of water. Slowly I let the liquid drip down my throat. It was a heavenly feeling for me right now. Let’s just say I really needed that.

I’d better go and check on Zack again now; he’ll want to know how it went with the police. He won’t like it if I tell him the truth about it though because it went pretty much as badly as it possibly could. I’ll end up telling him things went perfect and we have nothing to worry about anymore. I usually do that to him. I don’t do it because I like to lie though; it’s to keep his mind at ease. He truly does already have too many problems that he needs to worry about and I’d hate to add to them.

“Zack,” I said as I opened the curtained doors. “Oh sorry,” I muttered realizing that he wasn't alone.

“It’s alright,” he smiled at me. “You can come in if you want.”

I nodded and sat down at the bottom of his bed.

“Hi Sir,” Zander said to me, looking really shy. He always is like that though. During our sessions he hates telling me anything, so it’s pretty hard to get through to him. I still don’t completely know about his situation. His auntie told me a few things but that’s it at the moment.

“Hi Zander,” I smiled at him.

Before now I never really knew that these two were friends. I knew about Zack staying at Liza’s house with him, but I didn’t think they would get along to be honest. They’re too different.

“How did you know Zack was here?” I asked Zander.

“He called me earlier,” he whispered. I wish I could give him a confidence boost. Maybe then he’ll be able to move on from everything in his past.

“Hospital phone,” Zack added, knowing that I had his phone.

“Right,” I chuckled. “Has anyone else been to see you yet?” I asked, meaning his parents but I wasn't sure whether or not to say that with Zander in earshot.

“No one else,” he said looking a bit uneasy. “They’ll get here as soon as they get the message though,” he whispered. “They’ll still be drinking the night away now,” he muttered. “Then they’ll need to get through the hangover. Then they’ll be mad and come and see me.”

I looked over at Zander who was only looking at Zack and nowhere else at all. It was as if he only felt safe with him. It’s kind of sweet really. He also seemed to understand what we were on about which shocked me a little. Zack told him?

“Does he know?” I mouthed to Zack who nodded back in response. Interesting.

“How was it?” Zack asked me after a short silence.

“It went as well as it could have,” I sighed. I hate lying to him, but I’d hate it if I got him worried. “How are you Zander?” I asked trying to keep him involved in this.

“Alright,” he mumbled.

Sometimes I really worry about that boy. In the past I’ve seen kids like him; people who have had a very tough childhood and have had to witness and be put through terrible things. Then as they get older they start taking it out on themselves; hurting themselves in any way possible. I think Zander has started doing that sort of thing. I'm not certain but every time I see him he’s been wearing long sleeved shirts, sure in school that’s normal, but he even has them now. It’s like he’s hiding something. Cuts maybe? I hope not.

“How are you feeling Zack?” I asked him.

“A bit tired to be honest. My head’s still killing me but I'm starting to get used to it,” he chuckled a bit. “The nurse said it might scar,” he frowned a little. “It might not though,” he added, not sounding too sure though.

I wanted to tell him that he’d look amazing even with a scar across his face, and I honestly meant that. Zack always looks great. Zack is great.

I could tell that he wasn't in a talking mood though; he was only doing it because he knew how awkward conversation would be without him. I can’t really talk to Zander because he isn't going to say much back. I'm trying but I think I make him feel uncomfortable seeing as I'm the person he has to confine in.

“Does your auntie know you’re here so early in the morning?” I asked Zander.

“Yeah,” he whispered.

I sighed, wanting to hear a little more than a one syllable word. I turned my attention back to Zack though when he started yawning. Poor thing, he looks so tired. We should probably let him rest.

“Zander,” I said. “How about you and I go and get a hot drink and something to eat,” I suggested. “Then we can let Zack get a bit of sleep.”

Zack gave me a grateful look and sent a light smile to Zander who slowly stood up from where he was sat beside Zack’s bed.

“Sleep tight Zack,” he whispered and gently kissed Zack’s forehead.

Jealously shot through my body! What was that? The shy guy likes my guy! What the hell? Calm down Cole! It was a little goodnight kiss and nothing more.

“Thanks for coming Zan,” he whispered to him.

I wished I could go over there and just lock my lips with Zack’s and pull him into a loving hug and never let him go. But of course, I can’t, not here and not with Zander being in the room. This is so unfair.

“Goodnight Zack,” I called over to him.

“’Night Co-Mr. Sanders,” he smiled at me before curling over I his bed to get ready to sleep. He’s so cute!

“Come on,” I whispered to Zan as we walked out and headed down the corridor back to the canteen. “It was really good of you to come and see him,” I told him.

“I had to make sure he was okay,” he whispered to me.

Wow! That’s the most I’ve heard him say to me today! That’s amazing.

“Why are you here though Sir?” he asked me softly.

“I- er... I was the one who found him,” I explained. “I didn’t want to leave him on his own,” I smiled awkwardly to the much smaller boy beside me.

He nodded at me and looked back down to the ground. I felt like telling him to keep his chin up. There’s no point in looking down. But I couldn’t do it. If he wants to be like that then I’ll let him. Sooner or later though, he’ll have to talk to me. Tell me about everything. And on that day I hope to be able to make things better for him.