Have We Gone Too Far?

We were walking to the bus stop together, Liza in the middle and me and Zan at each side of her. For some reason she wanted to keep us apart for a while after what happened earlier. I can’t really blame her seeing as she is really protective of Zander because of the things he’s been through and she’s worried about me hurting him. I know I havea bit of a bad reputation but I’d never hurt Zan and I thought she knew me well enough not to think that I would.

Oh crap! Miranda’s there. At least she isn't with Kyle this time; I hate seeing those two together. But without Kyle to stop her she’ll be able to say even more to me. Please say she hasn’t seen that picture! I mean if the picture itself doesn’t ruin me then her reaction and the rumors she spreads about it certainly will. God I hate her.

When we got to the bus stop everyone was looking at me. I stand out way too much! I mean I can’t tell if they’re looking at me because of the stitches on my face, the fact I'm not in my uniform or if it’s because they’ve seen the picture. I don’t know whether or not I should say something or just act like I haven’t noticed them. Either way I'm going to feel really out of place all day anyway so I might as well just ignore it in case I say something that’s going to make this worse for me.

I'm so lucky that I have Liza and Zander at my sides right now because if they weren’t with me I’d have probably just left them and found some drugs or alcohol or something to get everything off my mind.

“Are you alright?” Liza whispered to me, obviously not liking the attention that we were getting either.

I was really happy that she asked me that because it let me know that she still cares about me even though we aren’t getting on too well at the moment.

“Not really,” I sighed. “Has everyone here seen the photo?” I asked her, really hoping that she was lying earlier when she said everyone, just to get at me during our little argument.

“They’ve all seen it,” she sighed. “This must be awful for you.”

I nodded at her in agreement. Today is going to be really hard for me to get through without resorting to taking something to help me out a little bit. Looks like the hard part of the day is about to start, I sighed as Miranda made her way over to us. God her skirt was short today. How can she wear something like that? It just looks ridiculous.

“Zacky,” she said, pouting her lips at me. “You look pretty good with your kit off,” she giggled making my cheeks go a little pink with embarrassment.

How much of me did that picture get? I really can’t believe this is happening to me. I'm rarely really embarrassed by things but today I have the feeling that I'm going to start feeling self conscious whenever someone looks at me funny.

“Leave it Miranda,” Liza hissed.

To be honest I was expecting Liza and Zander to just stay quiet but I'm really glad Liza had the guts to speak to Miranda like that. She can be a very intimidating person, not to mention that she and her mates attacked Liza not so long ago.

“Get a life,” she said looking down her nose at Liza. I really hate how she thinks she’s better than everybody else. It’s so annoying. I mean she’s such a brat! “So, Zacky, why were you naked in a photo with Mr. Baker?” she asked me.

I looked down at the floor, not knowing what to tell her. Why can’t she just leave me alone?

“Someone did it on Photoshop,” Liza told her. “It was probably you, right Miranda?”

A grin spread across my face. Liza’s a bloody genius! Photoshop! The perfect cover up. Thank God one of us has some brains.

“As if!” she hissed. “Oh and guess what Zacky.”

“What?” I muttered starting to get really irritated.

“I know that the photo isn't fake,” she grinned at me. “And I'm going to make sure everyone knows about your little romance with the PE teacher.”

“It didn’t happen so no one’s going to believe you,” I told her.

“The photo is enough to prove that it happened,” she said with a smug look on her face before walking back over to her ‘clones’ and whispering and giggling with them. This is all I need right now.

“Don't worry about it,” Liza whispered to me. “Just ignore anyone who gives you any trouble,” she told me.

Her little pep talk helped a bit, I have to admit it, but I was still petrified of facing school. Also there’s no chance I'm going to be able to ignore people, I’ll try but I know I won’t be able to. What if I see Mr. Baker? Oh God...

When we got on the bus I sat next to Liza for a few reasons. One, I didn’t want to get Zan involved with this. Two, I know she can defend herself if she has too. And three, I don’t want any rumors about Zan and I being spread around. Not for my sake but for his really.

“It’s alright,” Liza told me. “God you’re shaking like mad Zack!” she said sounding really panicked and worried. “Don't worry about people being jerks sweetie. They’re not worth it,” she told me as she pulled me into a hug.

Right now I desperately wanted to cry so I had to try my extremely hard to stay in control. Not here, I kept telling myself, anywhere but here.

“Thanks,” I sniffed feeling unbelievably weak now.

Then I heard Miranda’s voice from the back, raise way above the others.

“Zack Mondale loves Liza Puckett and Mr. Fatty Baker!” she screeched. “THREESOME!”

“Grow up,” I shouted back at her straight away.

“Just ignore it Zack,” Liza whispered to me.

I nodded at her and tried to calm myself down again. Why is Miranda such a pathetic annoying spoiled brat? I. Hate. Her. So. Much!

Zan was looking out of the window from where he was sitting in the seat n front of us. I leant forward and tapped his shoulder gently to get his attention, remembering that I still hadn’t spoke to him about what he saw at the hospital. “Can I talk to you later?” I asked him once he’d turned around to face me. He nodded. “About the other day at the hospital,” I whispered just so that he’d have time to prepare himself to talk about all of that.

***

I decided to go to form today. I haven’t been since that time Mr. Baker locked me in the cupboard, which is a pretty good reason to avoid turning up if you ask me. I wasn't skiving for the sake of skiving when I skipped form; I was doing it out of fear for my own safety.

Somehow I ended up being one of the first to get to the room which is pretty weird because I'm usually late or don’t bother turning up at all. The few people who were sitting down at their desks already were giving me odd looks. I suppose everyone knows. Maybe even Mr. Baker himself knows about it too. If he does he’s bound to make form hell for me.

“Zack,” I heard a male say at the corner of the room. It was Sam. I hate him and he hates me. We used to always end up in fights but we kind of grew out of that really.

“What?” I hissed at him. I knew I didn’t have a reason to be angry with him yet but I barely got any sleep at all last night. Sue me!

“Did you have sex with Mr. Baker?”

When he said that my insides started turning. We didn’t have sex and if we did it would count as more of a rape. Wait. Oh my God. I have had sex with him, that night when he attacked me in the alleyway. Just thinking about it made me want to be sick.

“No,” I snarled at him after a pretty long pause which made him laugh for some stupid reason.

“You did! Bloody hell!” he shouted making me go red. Why do I have to be so bad at lying now? “Wait, that means you’re gay,” he said laughing his head off if I might add. “You like it up the butt do ya?” he said laughing even harder.

“What’s funny Sam?” Keith, one of hiscronies friends asked when he walked into the room seeing him laughing like that.

“Zacky the bloody chick magnet is a gay!” he said so loud that everyone else started laughing along with him. I knew some of them probably didn’t want to laugh but they knew it was a pretty big statement to not take Sam’s side.

Right then the only thing I wanted to do was punch him. You know what, why the hell shouldn’t I? He definitely deserves it. I clenched my fist then quickly punched him in the jaw. Let me tell you, when I put as much emotion into a punch as I did then, I know that they’re going to be hurting for a long time.

I grinned as I managed to both wipe the smirk off his face and shut him up. I don’t care if I stooped to his level to do it, as long as it’s been done, I'm happy.

Sam brought his hand up to his jaw and then got up from his seat and walked over so he was right in front of me. if he was trying to intimidate me he was definitely failing. He shoved me backwards and to be honest when I'm in a mood like this I only needed that one push for me to completely lose it with him.

I jumped onto him, punching and kicking him down onto the floor. Keith was trying to get me off him but he had no chance.

“Rape!” Someone shouted nearby as everyone in the room crowded around us, catching the attention of some people outside who decided to come in and watch as well.

I rammed my fist into his gut, making him attempt to curl up into a ball, but I know how to stop him defending himself like that thanks to my dad. I took hold of his hair and lifted then lifted him up onto his feet, expecting him to be weak and defenseless now. I was planning on delivering one more punch and sending him down onto the floor. But I was wrong about the state he was in. He punched me right in the face, catching me so off guard that I fell back and ended up lying on the floor, slightly dazed.

Sam stuck his finger up at me and made his way back to his desk, quite a few people were cheering but there was no chance I was letting him finish this. I quickly grabbed onto his legs and pulled so he tripped and ended up falling on top of me. This time we were both exchanging blows. Punches and kicks. But then I went for his weak spot. That’s right; I kneed him between the legs. I don’t mind playing dirty as long as I get it done.

The thing is, I wasn't done. I had control now, I could have gone to my seat and left it. I wanted to hurt him more though. I kept punching him over and over again, but with the slight distraction of Keith trying to split us up again.

“Get off him you bloody queer!” Someone yelled but that just egged me on. I was determined to really hurt him.

Then the room fell silent and everyone rushed to their places. It was obvious that someone had walked in but for some reason I kept going. I heard a few whistles as a pair of beefy arms wrapped around my waist and pulled me up off Sam. I tried kicking and punching him to make him let go but I couldn’t get out of his grasp. As he tried to hold me back I felt his hands drop down to the front of my trousers. I instantly went bright red knowing that everyone in the room had seen that.

“Get off,” I cried out with tears brimming in my eyes.

He was touching me. I thought he’d never risk doing that in public, especially in school in front of students, but he did. Am I safe from him anywhere?

“Wait outside!” he roared at me as he flung me out of his arms and towards the door.

As soon I was out of the room I burst into tears. Mr. Baker touched me again and he honestly didn’t care about who saw. Now that he isn't even trying to keep this secret I feel even more unsafe around him. I mean right now the only thing I want to do is throw up.

I dropped down to the floor and buried my face into my knees. I'm like this pretty much all of the time now. I'm pathetic.

The door opened again and Mr. Baker walked out with a devious smile on his face as he saw me. I tried to edge away from him but I completely failed. He knelt down in front of me and took hold of my hands. I tried to pull away but his grip was too tight. Please don’t touch me.

“Why did you do that?” he asked with a fierce look in his eyes.

I shook my head at him. Why would I open up to him? After everything he’s done I don’t know why he’s bothering to even ask me.

“Tell me Zack,” he said, squeezing my hands so tight it was hurting me. “Go on Angel,” he hissed. “You don’t want me to tell daddy,” he snarled. “You’d be in trouble then.”

I closed my eyes, desperate not to look at him any longer. The mere sight of his face is enough to make me gag. Why does he have to do this to me? I’ve never done anything to him. I mean he used to be my favorite teacher. Even right back in year seven he had my back. I suppose I’ve always been one of his favorites.

“Why did you do it Zack?” he asked moving his body closer to mine.

“Get off me,” I begged him.

“Not until you answer my question baby.”

Fine! if I have to tell him I will, it’s not like I’ve been left with much choice now, is it?

“He was mocking me about... being gay,” I whispered.

He shook his head at me and sighed.

“That’s no reason to fight like that,” he muttered.

God I wished he’d just shut up. I really didn’t need any of this from him. I don’t even know what I've done to deserve this. anything? Not that I can think of.

“Come on,” he said, grabbing hold of my hand and dragging me towards the classroom.

“I'm not going in like this,” I hissed at him, knowing that my face was drowned with tears.

“No choice,” he grinned opening the door and pulling me in.

Just before we walked into the room I could hear everybody shouting but as soon as we came in there was a deadly silence.

“Zack,” Kyle shouted, smiling over at me and gesturing to the empty seat beside him.

I immediately started to feel better after that. What can I say; I guess Kyle’s really good at cheering me up and brightening my mood. He still has my back even after how I treated him the other night when he tried to apologize to me. maybe he’s a much better friend than I ever thought.