Have We Gone Too Far?

When I walked into the classroom I couldn’t help but smile. How couldn’t I? The first person I saw was Zander. He was on his own at the front which is where I'm meant to be seeing as Mr. Markham moved me there. At the time I hated him for doing that but I really like Zan now so I'm sort of thanking him. However because we have Cole I'm scared to sit anywhere near him. What if he asks about this morning? Cole would hear because of how close he is to us. I can’t risk him finding anything out.

So I took my seat next to Liza instead, hoping that no one would point out that I wasn't in my new place. Luckily for me everyone was too busy messing around to notice what I was doing.

“Hey,” I whispered to her. I didn’t need to whisper seeing as everyone else was shouting but I preferred keeping our conversations slightly private to be honest with you.

“Why aren’t you next to Zan?” she asked, raising an eyebrow.

“I thought you wanted us to avoid each other for a bit,” I reminder her. She smiled at me and nodded her head a little.

“I don’t mind that you were ‘you know’ but it’s a shock and he’s my cousin remember. He’s been through a hell of a lot,” she said quietly but loud enough for me to hear.

“I understand,” I sighed.

“He shouldn’t have to deal with a broken heart too,” she said harshly.

As much as I wanted to say that I’d never hurt him like that, I couldn’t. Zan and I are just friends? Cole and I are a lot more. No matter what happens I'm going to have to tell Zan we can’t be together, right? But I know that’s going to hurt him. Right now I seriously have no idea what I'm meant to do? It’s impossible for me to ignore Zan but I know if I don’t I’ll hurt him really badly. Then there’s Cole...

My eyes went across the room and met Zan’s. He was looking at me already. I wonder if he knows we’re talking about him. I bet he does. I sent him a weak smile, realizing that he must be feeling a bit lonely over there on his own. I should’ve sat with him...maybe.

When he turned to face the front I decided to do so as well. I could help but smile at what I could see in front of me. It was funny in a way but there was no chance I was going to laugh about it. Cole just looked so nervous. Who wouldn't be though? Your first lesson ever and you’re teaching year eleven maths; not exactly an easy task. If I had an inexperienced teacher and if it wasn't Cole then I’d probably be acting just like the rest of the class is. Running around, shouting, moving places; anything to wind up the new teacher and to find out how far we can push him. But seeing as its Cole I’ll try and be a good boy and watch his back a little. Otherwise he’s really going to regret doing this.

“Right class: Quiet please,” he said but not nearly loud enough for it to make any impact. Poor Cole...

He looked over at me and I gave him a small smiled and then blushed when he stuck his tongue out at me. I love that guy, I know I do, but if he seriously wants to get into this teaching business he’s going to have to control the class a little better than this. I feel mean thinking that but everyone’s just mucking about.

“QUIET!” Cole yelled this time, catching everyone’s attention. Maybe he won’t need me having his back after all. “Now get in your seats and shut your gobs,” he said fiercely.

Well done Cole! I grinned as everyone did as he asked.

I watched him as he took the register. With some of the names he struggled to pronounce them, and obviously some people pretended they were someone else or they put on strange voices but Cole didn’t let that distract him from what he was doing which is a good thing, I think.

“Zack,” I heard someone from behind me say after Cole had called the last name in the register and started looking through his lesson plan.

Just ignore whoever it is, pretend you can’t hear them. You don’t need to get worked up again so just don’t do anything stupid. They only want to make you angry; they just want to see how mad you’ll get. Leave it Zack!

I tried taking my own advice but when someone’s kicking your chair and flicking your head it gets a little bit harder to act like you don’t know they’re there.

“What?” I hissed at the people behind me. I really don’t need any of this right now. If something happens Cole will end up getting really angry and I don’t want that to happen. I need him, yes, but right now if someone’s bothering me I’d rather sort it out by myself.

“You and Mr. Baker,” they chuckled.

I'm getting sick of this now! Why is everybody asking me about that? It’s ridiculous! You know what, why should I even give them an answer? If they’re stupid enough to believe things like that then they don’t deserve any kind of explanation. I'm not, nor ever will be in a relationship with it. Ever! It’s sick that people would even think that!

I decided I needed to do something, just to make sure that they got the message. I gave them the good old ‘V’ sign and smirked to myself. Idiots! All of them. They just believe everything that’s shoved in front of them. I heard the odd gasp from behind because of the gesture I gave them but I don’t know why. It’s not as if they haven’t seen it before.

“Zack,” Cole hissed at me. I think I just found my reason; Cole Mr. Sanders was watching.

“What?” I snapped. “I mean yes Co- Sir.” That was a close one. Why did I just snap at him like that? I let those gits get at me didn’t I? Yeah, I did. I said I wouldn't but I bloody did! What’s wrong with me?

“Do you mind stepping outside for a moment?” he mumbled, looking a little bit angry. What’s wrong with him? I haven’t really done anything, well not that he knows about.

I nodded at him and got up, walking out of the room as he followed me out. Since when does Cole care about things like that? He doesn’t; there’s your answer.

He doesn’t know something else does he? God I hope not. I mean he wouldn't have a one-on-one chat with me about that situation in there. He must know...

I'm just being paranoid, aren’t I? Man its hard living with a guilty conscience.

“What was that?” he asked sternly as soon as he walked out to me. The door didn’t even have chance to shut.

“It was their fault,” I mumbled.

“Zack,” he sighed. “Look I can’t go easy on you just because...” he stopped at that point, not wanting to say anything with other ears around. “Why is it their fault?”

“They were mocking me and just. It doesn’t matter,” I muttered. He obviously doesn’t know about the Mr. Baker thing yet and I don’t want to tell him here. I’ll tell him at lunch when I have to go and see him for one of our little sessions.

“You can tell me,” he said softly. “I don’t care about what it is. It won’t change the way I think of you, don’t worry about that.”

What was he on about? He must have some kind of idea about what I'm trying to say. Well, I think he does anyway. I have a feeling he might be wrong but he probably does have an idea of some sort.

“If I tell you now, do you promise to stay calm?” I asked.

“Yeah sure,” he muttered. I really didn’t believe a word he just said but I knew I’d have to tell him eventually. Why not tell him now? If I wait till lunch I’ll just end up thinking about it until then and getting all nervous, but if I just spit it out now without thinking or anything it should be easier for me.

“There’s a p-picture around school,” I started. “And all of the kids have seen it. It’s of me and Mr. Baker,” I muttered.

He looked at me strangely, almost as if he didn’t even believe me. Or maybe he just didn’t want to believe me.

“What are you doing in the picture?” he asked hesitantly, knowing that it wasn't going to be good.

“It’s from that night when you and John had to come and get me out of Mr. Markham’s cupboard,” I sniffed, knowing that was all that needed to be said for Cole to work it out on his own.

“Okay,” he sighed trying to act calm but I could tell he was fuming on the inside. “When I asked you earlier if you’ve seen Mr. Baker you didn’t answer me. Will you answer that now?” he asked.

I nodded at him and then looked down at the floor.

“I w-went to form,” I told him.

I heard Cole let out a deep breath most likely trying to continue acting cool. He was getting angrier by the second and I've got a feeling he’ll take it out on the class when we eventually go back in.

“Did he do anything?” he asked through gritted teeth.

Weakly I nodded, feeling really ashamed. For some reason I’ve always partly blamed myself for all of this. I mean I must have done something.

“What did he do?”

“He t-touched me and...” I sniffed but then quickly composed myself. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Okay,” Cole smiled at me. “I’ll sort this. I promise.”

“T-thanks,” I whispered.

Cole looked at me and I knew he wanted to make me feel better, but I also knew that he couldn’t do anything here. There are too many risks and too many people who are just too close to where we are.

“Are you ready to go back in or do you need some time?” he asked.

“I'm alright,” I whispered.

“Come on then,” he said awkwardly as he opened the door and walked back in then held it open for me too.

I rushed back over to the seat next to Liza and stayed quiet, even though at some points she was talking to me. I had to ignore her, my mind was somewhere else and if I said anything it would end up being something that I’d regret telling her.

“Are you alright?” she asked me after noticing that I wasn't speaking.

I nodded at her but the look on her face made me be honest.

“No,” I sighed. “I'm not alright.”

Zan was watching me again. I gave him a reassuring smile before looking back at Liza. I really don’t want him knowing that I'm a little upset right now. He doesn’t need to know; after all he’s already had to deal with me last night after the incident with my dad.

“Want to talk?” she asked.

“Not really,” I mumbled.

Cole was writing something on the board. They looked like equations, also known as something I’d rather not do right now. You always end up doing your least favorite thing just at the time that you really don’t want it.

“Right I want all of you to answer at least the first ten of these before the bell, otherwise you’re staying behind,” he hissed, anger raging through his voice. Maybe I should’ve waited until later to tell him something like that. Why do I only think of myself? I forgot Cole still had to work and so a good job at it too.

“Sir, I think you wrote number one down wrong,” Tim shouted out. Trust him to even be able to notice the teacher’s mistakes.

I looked at the board and even I could tell that what Cole had put was wrong. He must be distracted. I wonder whose fault that is.

“What?” Cole snapped at him. “Who the hell do you think you are telling me that I’ve done something wrong?” he shouted. “Well? I'm guessing you’re always right! Mr. Know-It-All. Oh and guess what, I don’t like people like you who think they’re better than everyone else and know absolutely everything,” he hissed. He was really letting his anger out now. Maybe I should intervene soon, he won’t shout at me.

“Erm Sir,” I said raising my hand. “Tim’s right.”

He glared daggers at me but then let out a sigh and looked over what he’d done.

“You’re right,” he muttered. “Sorry.”

Just then Mr. Baker walked into the room. What’s he doing here? I tensed up and most of the class turned to look at me. Perfect!

“Morning everyone,” he grinned. It was a sick grin; a Mr. Baker grin. “Can I have a word with Zack?” he asked.

What?

Cole let out a laugh and walked over to where he was standing.

“Ha, you want to see Zack!” What’s he doing? “Do you really?”

“Yes-”

Mr. Baker was cut off by Cole’s fist in his face. A smile appeared on my lips. Who would’ve thought seeing Mr. Baker getting hurt would make me feel so good?

“Tough,” Cole snarled.

The whole class was in complete silence. No one really knew what was going on or why it happened, but I for one was grateful.

“I’ll be having words about this Mr. Sanders,” Mr. Baker mumbled, clearly mad right now. “That’s abuse.”

“Don't talk to me about abuse,” Cole hissed before walking out of the room and slamming the door shut.

Wow.