Have We Gone Too Far?

Kyle got off the bus before everyone else today, which was strange because I’ve never known him to rush; no matter how desperate he was to get home. He even beat the people at the front to get to the door. I’ll have to ask him about that later...

The rest of the people getting off at the stop waited until the bus had come to a halt before they finished their conversations, said goodbye to their friends and got up, ready to leave. Zan and I waited till last, which I noticed annoyed Liza a bit seeing as she ended up waiting after getting off almost first. There’s no doubt she’ll blame me for making her wait for Zan, but I'm a big boy; I can take it.

“You took your time,” Liza hissed when we finally got off.

“Sorry,” Zander mumbled, not really meaning it.

So what, we didn’t get off straight away. I don’t see what the big deal is. She’s only going to be home a few seconds later than usual.

“I'm going to head round Ky’s for a bit,” I told them, getting away as fast as possible. “See you later,” I called to them as I started jogging to catch up with Kyle.

I don’t understand why he gets off at this stop to be honest with you. It’s a good fifteen minutes away from his house and there are other stops a lot closer, but I'm sure he has his reasons.

He once told me that it was because he was embarrassed about where he lived. The houses around this stop are pretty big and modern and I suppose he’d rather have people thinking that he lives around here.

His house isn't bad though. Not really anyway. At my house things are always a lot worse, and I don’t just mean the people. Things are a lot rougher on my estate than his, that’s why it was never really a big deal when they saw my dad hitting me. It was just normal violence for them. Then again, none of them have kids of their own so they don’t understand the situation at all.

My house is a dump, and if Kyle’s embarrassed of his...I guess it’s a good job I never let any of my friends see mine.

“Wait up!” I shouted after him, laughing as he completely stopped and I ended up barging into him. “Sorry,” I laughed.

He turned to face me, shaking his head and looking, well, less Kyle than usual. He didn’t see as happy. Something must be bothering him, right?

“What’s up?” I asked him, sounding more worried than I hope I needed to be.

“Everything,” he sighed.

I felt myself tensing up then. Kyle doesn’t get worked up about things; he just doesn’t.

“Want to talk?” I asked softly.

He let out a deep breath before nodding his head.

“Can we get a bit further from everyone else first?” he asked me.

“Sure,” I smiled.

I looked behind for a second, just to see who was around at the moment. It wasn't surprising to see Miranda watching us. She saw me looking and waved at me, pulling a stupid expression on her face, as if she knew something. What could she know? Nothing that I actually care about anymore. Hell, even if she told everyone about the Mr. Baker thing I wouldn't care. Sure it could get annoying but soon this’ll all be over...even if he is still out there.

Once we were through the alleyway that joins the two sides together (the richer side and the slightly less rich one) Kyle started talking again.
“Everything’s just getting to me, you know?” he muttered.

“Yeah,” I sighed, I know more than most how things can just catch up on you and leave you
feeling like a broken down wreck. It makes you feel like you’re pathetic and worthless. At first you fight it, but then it just gets too much and you start bloody believing it.

“Being at home’s pretty hard now, then there’s everything with Miranda...and Beth,” his
voice trailed off. “I, like, want to be there with her but...hospitals just, well, aren’t for me.”

“Don't worry about that,” I told him. “Jay and I are going to have your back. If you feel like you have to leave, I’ll come out with you, yeah?”

He nodded at me.

“Want to tell me what’s going on at home?” I asked. “I know about the divorce and to be honest, I didn’t see it coming.”

“I did,” he grumbled. “Mum...mum comes back with a different man every night. And dad, well dad doesn’t give a toss anymore. He just...sleeps and works now. Neither of them cares about me and the kids.”

I looked at him, frowning because I had no idea that any of this was going on at all. I know he’s not exactly that open about his home life but I never imagined that things were bad for him. My mum and dad never brought other people home. Even mum never brought this boyfriend she’s been seeing behind my dad’s back, back to ours.

And they kind of cared. They definitely gave me attention.

“Don't tell anyone,” he said locking his eyes with mine. “I don’t one people saying crap about me or the family; got it?”

“I wouldn't,” I said, slightly harsher than I wanted to. He knows I’ll keep my mouth shut. “You can trust me,” I sighed, softening my tone.

“Thanks,” he said, pausing for a while to collect himself. “It’s just; it’s not fair on Coby and Dean. It’s not fair on Andy either, but mum and dad, they care about him. They buy him crap and they’re proud of how smart he is and all that,” he mutter, spite coming through his words. “I just wish they could be proud of me,” he whispered.

I didn’t know what to say then. I was at a complete loss for words and I didn’t know what to do. My instincts told me he needed a hug and I wanted to give him one but I wasn't sure how he’d react to that. I mean he’s only recently found out I'm gay and I don’t want to make him feel uncomfortable or anything.

“I just mess everything up though. I'm meant to watch them all, but I just...I can’t. I dump it on Andy and he hates me for it. I try and most of the time I am there, but he doesn’t see it that way and he thinks...I don’t know.”

“It’s going to be alright you know,” I told him.

“How’d you work that out?” he laughed.

“I just know that things get better. It might not improve the way you want it to, but it does get better,” I told him, thinking about how my life has changed.

I don’t have home anymore, my dad kicked me out, I’ve been sexually abused by my teacher, the whole school knows about my sexuality and I feel like I could just lose it at any moment. The thing is, my life, even with all that, is better than it was a few months ago. It might not seem better after that list but it is. I'm closer to my friends and I'm with Cole. That’s all I need right now.

“They hate me,” he whispered. “Everyone loves the younger ones because they’re cute and everything they do is adorable. Andy’s the genius who they all rely on and then there’s me; the child they regret having.”

“Don't speak like that,” I told him strongly. “They seriously don’t hate you. I know parents who hate their kids and, I can tell that yours do love you Kyle. It’s just a hard time now for them and they need to try and stay strong.”

“So it’s normal for them to just dump everything on me...”

“Not normal. What your mum’s like with men isn't normal and I think your dad is just acting the way he is because of the whole divorce; depression or something. It’s not normal but it’s not his fault and it doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you. And, your mum, she just has a strange way of showing it.”

He laughed at that last bit and shook his head at me.

“You always have answers Zack; I doubt you're getting it all right though,” he sighed.

Right then I spun him around to face me. Wow this was awkward, but I have to admit the look on his face was priceless.

“So what if I'm wrong, yeah? There’s always people who care about you, so just don’t forget that.”

“You’re creeping me out Zack,” he said, trying to look anywhere but at me.

“Sorry,” I laughed.

“I'm guessing you’re one of those people who care about me then?” he asked, raising an eyebrow at me.

“Obviously,” I said, blushing slightly because of the way he meant it.

“Good,” he smiled as he walked up the driveway to his house. “Mum and dad will be out so can you help keeping the kids under control?” he asked me.
I nodded at him, getting nervous because I'm about to see how much things have changed for myself now.

As soon as the door opened I saw Coby and Dean sitting on the stairs next to each other. Who leaves kids their age at home on their own; it’s just stupid. No wonder Kyle was in a bit of a rush to get back.

When we walked in they stayed sat still where they were.

“What’s wrong?” Kyle asked them.

“Mum and a man c-came home be-before,” Dean, the elder one, told him, stuttering slightly.

“Oh,” was all Kyle said in response to start with. “What were they doing Dean?” he asked.

“Kissy-wissy,” Coby answered for him with tears in his little eyes.

I felt so sorry for him then. I mean, having an affair is bad as it is, never mind doing right in front of your children.

“Come here,” Kyle sighed, walking towards them and pulling them both into a hug. “Don't worry about that, guys. I’ll sort this out,” he promised them. “Where’s Andy?”

“Mummy took him with her.”

All I could do then was stare at them. She took her child with her boyfriend, leaving a five and a three year old unsupervised. Oh my God. Kyle looked petrified now. He doesn’t think he’s mum will do anything...does he?

“Zack,” he whispered, “could you watch them for a sec? I need to call someone,” he said, looking like he wanted to just sit down and scream.

“Sure thing,” I said instantly. “Come on boys, let’s go in the living room,” I said, getting them out of Kyle’s way. I wanted to talk to him and try to help him work out what to do but I’ll probably be more help if I get the kid’s minds off everything.

“Where mummy took Andy?” Coby asked me, tugging on my trouser leg to make sure he had my attention.

What am I meant to tell him? Okay, just change the topic.

“Zacky,” Dean said. “Zacky, Zacky, Zacky, Zacky!”

“Yeah,” I laughed, sitting down on the couch and pulling him down onto my knee.

“Why aren’t you answering Coby?” he asked.

I stared at him for a moment as I watched Coby climbing up onto the chair with us. It looks like these two aren’t going to fall for the random topic changing idea after all. They deserve to know though, right? But they’re so young as well...

“I don’t know where they are,” I said softly. “But they’ll be back,” I sighed, praying that that was true.

“Okay,” Coby smiled, believing me so easily. I wish I could be like that. Someone tell me there’s nothing to worry about and then me simply taking their word for it. Things could be a lot easier then. “Can we, can we fight?” he asked, jumping up and down on the couch.

I suppose it would keep them busy and if I say those two can take me on they won’t end up hurting each other.

“Right, fine,” I said. “You two versus me. I hope you two are better than you were last time,” I teased.

“You’re goin’ down!” Coby shouted, jumping on top of me. Luckily I managed to move Dean out of the way quick enough. “Come on Dean!” he yelled, getting his brother to join in.

Boy this kid can be hyper.

I wasn't going to let them do anything too bad to me, because, well, it would be plain stupid to do that, wouldn't it? Plus I doubt Kyle will want anyone getting injured; not even if it’s me to be honest with you.