Have We Gone Too Far?

I sat in the classroom on my own for a few moments, trying to think of some way to convince her that what she thinks she saw, never actually happened. In the end, I decided that just leaving it would be the best option for me to take, because if I keep pressing her on the subject, she’ll know something is up.

When I managed to get my head as straight as I possibly could under all of the circumstances I’m dealing with right now, I headed out of the room and down the corridor to the staffroom. I knew that this was going to be hard for me. Mr. Baker was the one that made them all turn on me, but they now all know about him. They know about what he’s done to me as well as what he’s done to others. Does this mean that they will accept me now?

As soon as I walked in the room went slightly quieter. I knew this was going to be hard for the other teachers as well, I mean; they were the ones who helped him make my days here miserable. It turns out that I never did anything either.

The first one to approach me was Mr. Markham. He’s one of the only ones who spoke to me during my first few weeks here. I really appreciated how he treated me. He was also the first person to let me cover their class. That guy has managed to help me so much.

“If you need to talk,” he told me, “I’m here.”

I nodded at him, liking that he was willing to help me through all of this. The only problem with that is he’ll never understand the extent of all of this unless I tell him everything, which I won’t do. The only person who can help is Zack, but he can’t because I don’t want to go to him with my problems. He has enough to deal with as it is and I don’t want to make things worse for him.

There’s always John. I know he doesn’t know everything, but it’ll be a lot less risky talking to him than anyone else.

“Hey,” Mr. Markham said, making me look at him again. “Don’t get all worked up over this.”

At first I didn't know what he was on about, but then I realized I was crying. It wasn't like I wanted to or anything. It just happened. I suppose just trying to think of my options was enough to do that. I don’t have anyone to go to, not really. I just feel like I can’t fix any of this now. Everything’s just gone too far. It’s all out of control.

“Sorry,” I sniffed, turning slightly so no one else could see I was crying.

The room was as loud as it was before I walked in now, which wasn't loud compared to the amount of noise the students make, but in comparison to silence, quite a lot of things seem loud.

“Do you want to step outside?” he asked me.

I nodded to him, just wanting to get out of there.

When we were out of the room he gave me a sympathetic look, which I needed so much right now. I felt like everything was falling to pieces.

“I know the first year of the job is always the hardest,” he told me. “The pressure at times can be too much and, in your case, I know that things probably seem like they couldn’t be any worse and will never get better, but things will.” I smiled at him. He has a way with words...maybe he should teach English instead. “I can’t say I know what you’re going through with Frank, but they will catch him, so do your best to not worry about it. That man will go down for a very long time.”

“Thanks,” I whispered, taking a deep breath.

I really need encouragement at the moment. My confidence is at an all time low.

“Is there anything else bothering you?” he asked me.

“This might sound weird, but...” I thought about what I was planning on telling him about Miranda earlier. What if he starts asking questions? “Never mind,” I mumbled.

“You sure?” he asked, just checking to make sure I guess.

“Do you think I could stay here a bit longer tonight?” I asked him. I knew Zack was going to be at the hospital for a bit and he would be safe there. However, if I didn't have anything to distract me I’d just end up being worried sick until I see him again. What would I do if that never happened? If he was taken away from me?

“I'm sure it’ll be fine,” he told me.

I let him know that I’d be alright on my own for now so he went back into the staffroom and I went to my office, locking the door behind me. If you want an explanation for the locked door, it’s simple. I'm scared Frank will get in. He could be anywhere right now and that thought is terrifying.

I sat there for a few hours. I started of just reading through some of the books that I had to help me if I ever had a case that I needed help with. These types of books were so appropriate right now, but that was the reason why I felt I shouldn’t be reading them. Eventually I fell asleep, instantly dropping into a dream.

I was sitting on the pavement across the street from my home. I was there, but it was as if no one could see me. it was as if I was invisible to everyone.

While I sat there I just watched the people walking passed outside. Nothing seemed strange or unusual, until I saw Zack. To start with I couldn’t even tell it was him, but I soon wondered who else it could be.

His face was covered in blood and his clothes looked torn and dirty, as if he’d been in a fight or been staying outside on his own for many days. I didn't like seeing him like that. Instantly I tried to get up to my feet, feeling an urge to go and protect him, to make sure he was okay.

My attempt to stand was futile though. I couldn’t move. Why was I stuck there? It just didn't make sense.

“Cole!” I heard Zack shout out, in more of a cry than an actual voice.

That scream sent shivers through my body. I was scared. What was wrong with him?

He started banging on the doors but I never came to answer it. How could I? I’m all the way over here and this stupid dream world won’t let me go and get him! He’s hurt! I need to be there for him, but something’s stopping me. My blood was boiling over and anger was raging through me. Someone did this to him.

Just as that thought crossed my mind, I saw someone come round the corner at the bottom of the street. I knew who he was straight away and that was when I knew we were in trouble. Mr. Baker was coming. I couldn’t get Zack to safety. This is all going to be on me.

My fault.

I woke up just before Frank got to him. I knew it was a dream. The whole time I knew it wasn't real. But what if it meant something? I mean really meant something. I couldn’t help Zack. What would happen if when it really matters, I can’t be there? I know I won’t be with him all of the time. Maybe I need to be. How else can I make sure he’s safe?

I took my phone out of my pocket and rang his mobile. Soon after I remembered that I have his phone. The police would need to take it soon.

Crap!

I completely forgot about them. There’s evidence on that piece of junk. Not just of him and Mr. Baker though. Of him and me. I’m sure they can track calls and text messages, retrieve any deleted things. Oh God, they’ll see all the messages that have been sent to him recently.

A tear fell down my cheek so I swept it away with my hand, not letting it bother me. I’ve just found another problem. Another one that I can’t deal with...

A few deep breathes were enough to get my mind to calm down and my head to stop throbbing the way it was. I had to talk to Zack. Not just to make sure he’s alright, but to make him come to me.

Maybe he’s at mine now. I said he could move in with me. He might’ve given it enough thought now and is making himself comfortable inside our home. I like that thought. Our house; Zack and I.

I dialed the number and waited for an answer.

“Hello?” I heard John say into the phone.

“Is Zack there?” I asked, my heart racing with fear that he wasn't.

“No,” he said sounding confused. “Should he be?”

“Never mind,” I muttered, quickly hanging up the phone on him.

Where the hell is he? He won’t still be at the hospital now; it’s too late to be there. Where would he stay if not at mine?

There is one place.

I can’t help feeling jealous of those two. The way they look at each other, it’s like they can’t stand being apart. I hate seeing them together. It hurts me. Honestly, it actually does more than that. On the inside; they’re killing me.

He’s with Zander.

I called the number I had registered for Zander in on my list. I know it isn't to be used for reasons like this, but in my eyes this is an emergency. The sound of the phone ringing was driving me crazy. I just wanted someone to answer it!

“Hello,” I heard a small quiet voice say into the phone. It was obviously Zander.

“Erm, hi, is Zack there?” I asked, disguising my voice ever so slightly, just in case he found the idea of my calling him weird. I wouldn't blame him if he did.

“Zack,” he shouted. “It’s for you.”

A smile spread across my face. Even if he’s with Zander right now, at least I know that he’s safe. That’s all that matters.

“H-hello,” he stuttered. I could sense fear in his voice. I didn't like it.

“What’s wrong?” I asked, worrying like a madman and forgetting all about what I actually wanted to ask him.

“Cole,” he breathed out, sounding like he’d just had the best news ever. “Sorry,” he whispered. “Nothing’s wrong...I just didn't know who was calling.”

I rolled my eyes, but then worked something out. That kid is a lot more scared than he’s letting on to me. The brave face is a mask, a mask that I'm starting to see through.

“Zack,” I whispered. “Could you come to mine?” I asked him, staring to feel embarrassed. How desperate can you get?

“I'm with Zan,” he told me.

So you won’t come to me because you’re busy entertaining Zan. Wow that makes me feel special, doesn’t it? Sarcasm...

“Bring Zan,” I mumbled. “You want him to know about us, so why not?”

“C-”

“Please,” I begged him.

There was a moment of silence and some muffled voices in the background. I knew Zack would be able to convince Zander to come. He could convince Zan to do anything for him.

“Alright,” he told me.

“Thank you,” I smiled. “I'm not home yet but John’s there and I’ll be back soon,” I let him know, just to make sure he was aware that I wouldn’t be there.

“We’re on our way,” he yawned down the phone before hanging up.

He’s tired and I'm making him run around for me. I can be so selfish. I shouldn’t have even called him. I really need to think more before I act.