Have We Gone Too Far?

“It’s about... Beth,” he mumbled. “Something bad happened to her and... I’m not meant to tell anyone but I can’t keep this to myself and... I know I can trust you.”

“She’s alright, isn't she?” I asked panicking.

“She got... raped and she’s really, well, you know...”

Raped? My mind immediately remembered the night I spent in that alleyway a few months ago. Could it be the same guy? If I’d reported him would Beth be okay?

“Why did she tell you?”

“I knew something was bothering her and you know how she is with secrets, so she told me.”

“Who else knows?”

“I think it’s just us. Don’t make it obvious that you know, just wait and see if she tells you herself.”

“Okay,” I whispered. “Is she in today?”

I so hoped the answer would be no, she must be petrified right now; she definitely shouldn’t have to deal with school things right now.

“Yeah but I can tell she doesn’t want to be; she needs to be at home.”

“You’re right about that,” I whispered, knowing from experience that leaving your house is something you want to avoid doing for a very long time after experiencing that.

***

In the first lesson, well, my first lesson of the day, I couldn’t stop worrying about Beth and it was so hard to hide it seeing as I was sat right next to her. She was too quiet today; I hated it. Even the talk she gives me whenever I'm late was shorter than usual. I wanted to make her feel better so much, but how? I'm not even supposed to know what happened to her. Heck, I'm not supposed to know that anything has happened to her at all.

“You okay?” I whispered, partly because the rest of the room was silent but also because I wasn’t sure I was ready for the answer she could give me.

“I'm fine, how’s you?”

Her voice was all shaky and the fact that she was in pain made me so angry. How could someone do that to her? Why would someone do that?

“Same,” I muttered.

I watched her as she got her phone out of her blazer and started to text Kyle, as soon as she saw me watching her, she tilted the phone away from me. I guess she doesn’t want me to know yet.

“Have I missed much?” I asked her.

“Not really.”

How brief an answer can you give? Just talk to me Beth! Please.

The door at the front of the room opened and we all stopped what we were doing at stared at it. Mr. Baker walked in. Crap, if he sees me he’ll want to know why I missed form. This is not good.

“Has Mr. Mondale turned up yet?” I heard him ask our teacher in a hushed tone.

“Oh, yes, he’s in now,” she smiled. “Zacky, Mr. Baker needs a word with you,” she shouted over to me.

I nervously stood up and walked out of the door with him. He didn’t seem angry; he had more of a worried look on his face than anything.

“Why weren’t you in before?” he hissed.

“I, erm... I forgot to wake up.”

It happens sometimes, right? I mean who is able to wake up every single day at the right time. No one!

“Alright then, I’ll pretend to believe you,” he mumbled.

“I’m not lying!” I grunted even though I knew that was pointless.

“You need to go and see the Student Mentor after lunch. I was going to tell you in form but you were a no show,” he grunted.

“Look, I don’t need to see the student mentor, I'm fine.”

“Zack, you’re not eating and yesterday... what happened to you? You definitely weren’t fine then. You need to talk to someone.”

“No I don’t!” I said, almost in tears.

I don’t want to talk to anyone. I can’t!

“Please, don’t make me do it,” I begged. “I don’t need to talk to anyone. Everything’s fine.”

“I'm sorry Zack, but you do need to have a word with him. We’re all getting worried about you.”

“It’s none of your business and no one cares so what’s the point?”

“Your mum and dad seemed really concerned when I spoke to them last night. You’re friends were panicking when you weren’t in form and I’m constantly worrying about you. When I found you yesterday, I didn’t know what to do. You were crying your eyes out Zack; you need to talk to someone for your own sake and for all of the people who care about you.”

“I can’t” I whispered, trying really hard not to cry again.

“You don’t have an option. If you don’t turn up you’ll be in a hell of a lot of trouble with me and I might have to have some serious talks with your parents about your mental and physical state at the moment.”

“Fine, I’ll do it then,” I grunted. “But if you think I’m telling him anything, you’re bloody wrong.”

“Promise me you’ll try.”

“No,” I hissed and stormed back into the room.

No one really seemed surprised by my entrance and for once no one made some stupid comment about me. They knew I was ready to crack. They all knew if they messed with me now I’d hurt them. Really hurt them!

“What’s happened?” Beth whispered as I sat down.

She wrapped her arm around me for support, making some people smirk a little, but I don’t care about them now. Why should I? I'm better than them. I know I am!

I shook my head at Beth, knowing that if I was to open my mouth I’d end up screaming. My hands were shaking like mad and I was really fighting back tears. No one can make me talk to some brain-dead freak who just obsesses over other people’s problems. They’re nosy and...

I ran my hand through my hair a few times, trying to calm myself down. What’s the point?

“Are you alright?” one of the girls on the table next to me asked.

I smiled slightly as Beth glared at them to make them back off. God I love her when she’s like this.

“Don’t listen to their crap,” she grunted at me.

“Excuse me,” said the girl on the next desk. I looked over and realized it was Miranda; one of the biggest sluts in the entire school. “I wasn’t giving crap I was asking if he was alright.”

I wished she’d just keep her mouth shut for once.

“Just leave it,” Beth mumbled. “He doesn’t need you talking to him like that.”

“Grow up!” she growled. “The only reason you’re saying that’s because you’re jealous!”

“Jealous?” Beth yelled, inviting the whole class to listen to our conversation. “What do I have to be jealous of?”

“Well, for one you’re the ugliest girl I’ve ever met and I’m sure you’d love to look like me. Two, you wish that Zack likes you as much as he loves me.”

I laughed a little under my breath.

“Pathetic,” I mumbled.

“You think I’m pathetic!” Miranda roared at me. God she’s annoying. I wasn't really in the mood to react to her now though. “She’s the pathetic one. The only reason she’s with you now is because of how desperate she is to get into your pants!”

I wanted to hit her so hard, but I managed to fight the urge. Beth’s face was bright red though and I knew the damage had been done.

“Ignore her,” I whispered to her. “She’s not worth it.”

“You have no chance of getting off with him love. I remember when you two were dating; he hated you so much that we ended up having a fun night together. Didn’t we Zacky?”

I glared daggers at her. Hated her? What the hell? That wasn’t true. And nothing happened. We kissed but... that was it. When I looked at Beth she looked like she believed her.

“She’s lying,” I muttered. “Why would you say that?” I yelled at Miranda.

“She was bound to find out eventually!”

“Nothing happened!” I shouted.

I tensed up as rage filled my body. If I wasn't angry before I was now. I was more than angry I was furious! I wanted to kill Miranda right now. Literally kill her.

“It’s okay,” Beth whispered tearfully. “I believe you.”

Even Beth’s support didn’t calm me down this time. I needed to hurt someone; and Miranda happened to be the closest to me. I couldn’t control myself, and before I knew what was happening I was about to punch her.

I quickly managed to stop myself, but I only just missed her. Only just. That was far too close.

“I'm sorry,” I muttered, but she started screaming anyway, freak!

“Zack, outside please!” Miss shouted.

It was strange how she only now decided to step in. If she did it sooner that wouldn’t have even happened and that’s not me trying to shift the blame, it’s true.

I stood outside the room, regretting what I almost did to Miranda. I need better control. I'm becoming some sort of monster. What’s wrong with me? I hated to think it but I was becoming more and more like my parents and I hated knowing that one day I might be just as bad as they are.

It was at least ten minutes before Miss finally came out to speak to me; she probably wanted everyone’s account of what happened first.

“I'm sorry,” I whispered shamefully.

“That’s not good enough. I want you to apologize to Miranda and once you’ve done that you can go to the office, okay?”

“Yes Miss.”

So after that I had to do one of those embarrassing apologizes in front of the whole class. Some people sniggered a little and I know Miranda’s going to be laughing it up as soon as this lesson’s over, but I do need to say sorry; I could have really hurt her.

Then I had to do my work at the office for the rest of that lesson and the one after, luckily I was allowed outside for lunch though. At least I was given some freedom.

Ellie and Jay were lying together in the sun; they really are a cute couple, they’re perfect together. Beth was sun bathing as well but she seemed a little tense and I knew she was texting Kyle, who was sitting on his own against the wall.

I walked over and sat down beside him.

“Are you talking to Beth?” I asked him.

“Yeah. She wants me to walk home with her tonight; too scared to do it alone.”

“I don’t blame her.”

“I heard you hit Miranda,” he smiled, putting his phone away.

Tut tut, he had his phone out again, this is very unlike Kyle.

“I didn’t hit her, I nearly did but I wouldn’t do that,” I told him.

“I’ll take your word for it,” he grinned. “I bet you wanted to though. God I’d love to knock some sense into her; if she wasn't a girl...”

We both laughed a little as Beth, Ellie and Jake came over to us.

“What’s so funny?” Ellie asked us.

“Violence!” Kyle shouted as he lifted her onto his shoulders.

“Ky! Put me down!” she screeched, kicking and hitting while the rest of us just laughed.

“I’ll save you babe!” Jake shouted as he ran into Kyle and forced all three of them on to the floor.

They all laughed as they play wrestled on the floor.

“Idiots,” Beth laughed.

“Do you want to join in?” I asked her quietly.

“Not really,” she whispered as Jake and Ellie double teamed Kyle. “You can though; it looks like Kyle needs some backup.”

“I’ll keep you company,” I smiled at her. “I’m really sorry about earlier, I just... lost it.”

“It’s alright. Don’t worry about it.”

“Thanks Beth,” I said gratefully. “You’re an amazing friend.”

She stared at me oddly and shook her head.

“Where’s that come from?”

“I don’t know, but I wanted you to hear it,” I muttered.