Raised in the Era of Heroes and Cons
LAST OF THE AMERICAN GIRLS
Addie was fucking gone and Tunny was freaking out.
"Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God. She's going to be killed in a gang war, Jimmy."
"She's seventeen, Tunny, she can handle herself."
"This is fucking NEW YORK, Jimmy, not Shitsville! She will die out there!"
"She'll be fine. She's run away so many times that she's prepared for this sort of thing."
"Oh, fuck you. My god-daughter is out there all alone and you're just sitting on the couch."
"Obviously one of your kids has never run away before."
"Fuck. You."
I watched Tunny continue to freak out and smiled. Honestly, I wasn't that worried. Addie knew how to find the shelters for the runaways, and if she couldn't find one she knew how to find a good space to sleep for a night. She wasn't stupid. Once she went missing for three days and we found her sleeping in Ruthie's back yard. She wasn't exactly happy when she woke up back in her own bed (practically threw a blow dryer at my head), but she couldn't really complain when I put a hot meal in front of her.
She was kinda like Gloria.
Oh, who was I fucking kidding? She was almost exactly like Gloria.
Born on July 4th? It was like the universe was telling me that my daughter would be Gloria's carbon copy. They had the same interests in theater (somewhat), both of them have run away (Addie more times than Gloria), they both had a thing for messed up guys (honestly, that last boy somewhat scared me). If Addie was afraid of needles and had red hair they could be mistaken for twins born 21 years apart. It was terrifying.
They insisted on listening to all of the classics of rock. The Who, the Beatles, KISS, the Misfits, Bon Jovi, Duran Duran, Supertramp, Boston, Kansas, Chicago, Journey, the Sex Pistols. Addie's extensive record collection grew exponentially by the year, maybe even the month. She never asked for a T.V. in her room, I practically had to force her cell phone on her. All she wanted was a record table and a decent set of speakers all to herself and I gladly gave it to her, thinking that I could somehow keep her out of trouble with such a simple little thing. Little did I know that I was financing my ticket to late nights, listening to the crackle of vinyl and the warbling voices of artists in their earliest state of recording.
And they were both so stubborn. Once they made up their minds about something they would dive face-first into it. Like Gloria with finally running away from home and dance. Addie with her tattoos and acting. And everything else the two did. But that was one of their manygood amazing qualities.
Addie cared so much about things. Animal rights, human rights, the arts, homeless people, wars, politics. Everything. Anything. You name it, she probably supports it. Hell, she would chain herself to a condemned building if it had a nice piece of graffiti with a good message on it. She wanted to make the world a better place for everyone. She wanted to save the planet by herself and then not be thanked for it.
At least, that's what she thinks she wants.
Under all of that I can see she just wants to have a normal life, too. She just wants to have friends and boyfriends and be normal, something she can't be because of me apparently. Despite the fact that she doesn't have to make friends with those brats at school (I never did). Even I hate them and I'm the one who's supposed to be helping them. They're so whiney and annoying and all they go on about is how their best friend slept with their boyfriend but they're still going out with said boyfriend because they looooooooooove that boy. Almost makes me want to go St. Jimmy on their asses and sell them some cocaine and prescribe some sex from someone they're not in 'love' with.
But I can't do that because I'm a trusted psychologist and I would be sued if anyone found out.
I take a glance at Tunny to find him madly typing something into his phone. Probably texting some connecting he has with the police department. I wouldn't put it past him to have those kinds of connections.
Leaning back into the couch, I find I'm calm and frustrated at the same time. I wasn't worried about Addison, not at all. I was very calm about the whole situation. I was frustrated with Tunny, though. All of this would never have happened if he hadn't invited me over. And he's blaming me for Addie running away. That was in no way my fault. If he hadn't invited Gloria over we wouldn't have had that fight and Addie wouldn't have overheard it and she wouldn't have freaked out before hearing an explanation and we would be fine.
I didn't deserve to see her anyway. I had fucked us up and ruined everything. I broke her heart. Her perfect heart that deserved more than me. She'd had enough pain in her life without me being around.
Her douche bag of a father who forced perfection on her. her mother leaving them for some lover who lived somewhere on another hemisphere. Running away with nowhere to go but knowing she had to get out. Being kicked out of dance school in Chicago. That boy before me, whoever he was. Me.
That fiery haired girl deserved more than she'd had in life.
At least she got her dream of being in the Paris Ballet. I was glad she at least got that, despite the fact that she deserved so much more.
"Okay, so I know where Addie is now and there's no need to freak out."
I give Tunny a look. "How could you possibly know where she is?"
"I have...connections."
"Of course you do."
"Well, I do."
"So?"
"So?"
"Where is she, dip shit?"
Tunny freezes up and I scowl. "You do not know where she is."
"I do, but you're not going to be happy with me."
"Tunny-"
"She's fine, okay? Just-Just trust me on this. She's fine."
I didn't reply. If Tunny was this uncomfortable telling me where my own daughter was, then she's probably not fine. She's probably somewhere getting arrested and we'll have to go to a jail tomorrow to get her. Whatever. I'll trust Tunny for now. I mean, why would he lie to me? He hasn't lied thus far. He's just been a raging douche, but I've forgiven him for that.
After a few moments of silence he finally stops pacing and goes to the kitchen to start cooking something. Obviously something's wrong, but I decide not to ask him about it. Cooking and coffee were his two ways to calm down now that he was sober, and he's obviously stressed about something.
But finally the silence leads me onto thinking about the other kid yet again. And I just can't take it anymore.
"Tunny, can I ask you something?"
"I'm your best friend, so, yeah."
"What's...what's the kid like?"
There's a pause before he answers. "Which kid? Evan or Tim?"
I shake my head, despite the fact that he can't see me from where he's standing in the kitchen. He thinks I mean his kids, the ones he promised we could meet later this week. I push myself off the couch and slowly make my way towards the kitchen.
I get half way there before I'm finally able to push it past my teeth.
"No. I mean, her kid."
There's a large crash and then Tunny starts swearing like a sailor. I practically ran the rest of the way to the kitchen, afraid that Tunny might've accidentally cut himself and I have to take him to the hospital, to find a large pot of water spilled all over the floor.
"Fucking God, what the hell? I have never dropped a fucking pot full of water in my fucking life."
"Tunny, it's okay, it's just a pot of water."
"Yeah, I know, just-What the hell?"
I can't help but laugh. He just scowls at me and smacks me in the neck with a dish cloth.
It never really occurred to me that he could've dropped the pot on purpose.
She puts her makeup on
Like graffiti on the walls of the Heartland
She's got her little book of conspiracies
..................Right in her hand
..................She is paranoid like
Endangered species headed into
..................Extinction
..................She is one of a kind
She's the last of the American Girls
..................She wears her overcoat
For the coming of the nuclear winter
..................She is riding her bike
Like a fugitive of critical mass
..................She's on a hunger strike
For the ones who won't make it for dinner
She makes enough to survive
...................For a holiday of working class
She's a runaway of the establishment
Incorporated
....................She won't cooperate
SHE'S THE LAST OF THE AMERICAN GIRLS
....................She plays her vinyl records
Singing songs on the eve of destruction
....................She's a sucker for
All the criminals breaking the laws
She will come in first
For the end of Western Civilization
....................SHE'S AN ENDLESS WAR
Like a hero for the lost cause
.....................LIKE A HURRICANE
IN THE HEART OF THE DEVASTATION
She's a natural disaster
She's the last of the American Girls
She puts her makeup on
.......................Like graffiti
.......................On the walls of the Heartland
She's got her little book of conspiracies
........................RIGHT IN HER HAND
She will come in first
........................For the end of WESTERN CIVILIZATION
SHE'S A NATURAL DISASTER
........................SHE'S THE LAST OF THE AMERICAN GIRLS
"Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God. She's going to be killed in a gang war, Jimmy."
"She's seventeen, Tunny, she can handle herself."
"This is fucking NEW YORK, Jimmy, not Shitsville! She will die out there!"
"She'll be fine. She's run away so many times that she's prepared for this sort of thing."
"Oh, fuck you. My god-daughter is out there all alone and you're just sitting on the couch."
"Obviously one of your kids has never run away before."
"Fuck. You."
I watched Tunny continue to freak out and smiled. Honestly, I wasn't that worried. Addie knew how to find the shelters for the runaways, and if she couldn't find one she knew how to find a good space to sleep for a night. She wasn't stupid. Once she went missing for three days and we found her sleeping in Ruthie's back yard. She wasn't exactly happy when she woke up back in her own bed (practically threw a blow dryer at my head), but she couldn't really complain when I put a hot meal in front of her.
She was kinda like Gloria.
Oh, who was I fucking kidding? She was almost exactly like Gloria.
Born on July 4th? It was like the universe was telling me that my daughter would be Gloria's carbon copy. They had the same interests in theater (somewhat), both of them have run away (Addie more times than Gloria), they both had a thing for messed up guys (honestly, that last boy somewhat scared me). If Addie was afraid of needles and had red hair they could be mistaken for twins born 21 years apart. It was terrifying.
They insisted on listening to all of the classics of rock. The Who, the Beatles, KISS, the Misfits, Bon Jovi, Duran Duran, Supertramp, Boston, Kansas, Chicago, Journey, the Sex Pistols. Addie's extensive record collection grew exponentially by the year, maybe even the month. She never asked for a T.V. in her room, I practically had to force her cell phone on her. All she wanted was a record table and a decent set of speakers all to herself and I gladly gave it to her, thinking that I could somehow keep her out of trouble with such a simple little thing. Little did I know that I was financing my ticket to late nights, listening to the crackle of vinyl and the warbling voices of artists in their earliest state of recording.
And they were both so stubborn. Once they made up their minds about something they would dive face-first into it. Like Gloria with finally running away from home and dance. Addie with her tattoos and acting. And everything else the two did. But that was one of their manygood amazing qualities.
Addie cared so much about things. Animal rights, human rights, the arts, homeless people, wars, politics. Everything. Anything. You name it, she probably supports it. Hell, she would chain herself to a condemned building if it had a nice piece of graffiti with a good message on it. She wanted to make the world a better place for everyone. She wanted to save the planet by herself and then not be thanked for it.
At least, that's what she thinks she wants.
Under all of that I can see she just wants to have a normal life, too. She just wants to have friends and boyfriends and be normal, something she can't be because of me apparently. Despite the fact that she doesn't have to make friends with those brats at school (I never did). Even I hate them and I'm the one who's supposed to be helping them. They're so whiney and annoying and all they go on about is how their best friend slept with their boyfriend but they're still going out with said boyfriend because they looooooooooove that boy. Almost makes me want to go St. Jimmy on their asses and sell them some cocaine and prescribe some sex from someone they're not in 'love' with.
But I can't do that because I'm a trusted psychologist and I would be sued if anyone found out.
I take a glance at Tunny to find him madly typing something into his phone. Probably texting some connecting he has with the police department. I wouldn't put it past him to have those kinds of connections.
Leaning back into the couch, I find I'm calm and frustrated at the same time. I wasn't worried about Addison, not at all. I was very calm about the whole situation. I was frustrated with Tunny, though. All of this would never have happened if he hadn't invited me over. And he's blaming me for Addie running away. That was in no way my fault. If he hadn't invited Gloria over we wouldn't have had that fight and Addie wouldn't have overheard it and she wouldn't have freaked out before hearing an explanation and we would be fine.
I didn't deserve to see her anyway. I had fucked us up and ruined everything. I broke her heart. Her perfect heart that deserved more than me. She'd had enough pain in her life without me being around.
Her douche bag of a father who forced perfection on her. her mother leaving them for some lover who lived somewhere on another hemisphere. Running away with nowhere to go but knowing she had to get out. Being kicked out of dance school in Chicago. That boy before me, whoever he was. Me.
That fiery haired girl deserved more than she'd had in life.
At least she got her dream of being in the Paris Ballet. I was glad she at least got that, despite the fact that she deserved so much more.
"Okay, so I know where Addie is now and there's no need to freak out."
I give Tunny a look. "How could you possibly know where she is?"
"I have...connections."
"Of course you do."
"Well, I do."
"So?"
"So?"
"Where is she, dip shit?"
Tunny freezes up and I scowl. "You do not know where she is."
"I do, but you're not going to be happy with me."
"Tunny-"
"She's fine, okay? Just-Just trust me on this. She's fine."
I didn't reply. If Tunny was this uncomfortable telling me where my own daughter was, then she's probably not fine. She's probably somewhere getting arrested and we'll have to go to a jail tomorrow to get her. Whatever. I'll trust Tunny for now. I mean, why would he lie to me? He hasn't lied thus far. He's just been a raging douche, but I've forgiven him for that.
After a few moments of silence he finally stops pacing and goes to the kitchen to start cooking something. Obviously something's wrong, but I decide not to ask him about it. Cooking and coffee were his two ways to calm down now that he was sober, and he's obviously stressed about something.
But finally the silence leads me onto thinking about the other kid yet again. And I just can't take it anymore.
"Tunny, can I ask you something?"
"I'm your best friend, so, yeah."
"What's...what's the kid like?"
There's a pause before he answers. "Which kid? Evan or Tim?"
I shake my head, despite the fact that he can't see me from where he's standing in the kitchen. He thinks I mean his kids, the ones he promised we could meet later this week. I push myself off the couch and slowly make my way towards the kitchen.
I get half way there before I'm finally able to push it past my teeth.
"No. I mean, her kid."
There's a large crash and then Tunny starts swearing like a sailor. I practically ran the rest of the way to the kitchen, afraid that Tunny might've accidentally cut himself and I have to take him to the hospital, to find a large pot of water spilled all over the floor.
"Fucking God, what the hell? I have never dropped a fucking pot full of water in my fucking life."
"Tunny, it's okay, it's just a pot of water."
"Yeah, I know, just-What the hell?"
I can't help but laugh. He just scowls at me and smacks me in the neck with a dish cloth.
It never really occurred to me that he could've dropped the pot on purpose.
She puts her makeup on
Like graffiti on the walls of the Heartland
She's got her little book of conspiracies
..................Right in her hand
..................She is paranoid like
Endangered species headed into
..................Extinction
..................She is one of a kind
She's the last of the American Girls
..................She wears her overcoat
For the coming of the nuclear winter
..................She is riding her bike
Like a fugitive of critical mass
..................She's on a hunger strike
For the ones who won't make it for dinner
She makes enough to survive
...................For a holiday of working class
She's a runaway of the establishment
Incorporated
....................She won't cooperate
SHE'S THE LAST OF THE AMERICAN GIRLS
....................She plays her vinyl records
Singing songs on the eve of destruction
....................She's a sucker for
All the criminals breaking the laws
She will come in first
For the end of Western Civilization
....................SHE'S AN ENDLESS WAR
Like a hero for the lost cause
.....................LIKE A HURRICANE
IN THE HEART OF THE DEVASTATION
She's a natural disaster
She's the last of the American Girls
She puts her makeup on
.......................Like graffiti
.......................On the walls of the Heartland
She's got her little book of conspiracies
........................RIGHT IN HER HAND
She will come in first
........................For the end of WESTERN CIVILIZATION
SHE'S A NATURAL DISASTER
........................SHE'S THE LAST OF THE AMERICAN GIRLS