Raised in the Era of Heroes and Cons
A. MASS HYSTERIA
As soon as we got there I fully understood the panic in Tunny's voice.
Ralliers turned rioters filled the streets. Police were running around, obviously unsure of what to do. Fist fights were scattered across what should've held six lane traffic. Picket signs and petitions were scattered over the ground, being trampled by the feet that kept stomping over them.
I had heard of the riots in New York City and how they had grown in the past few months, but I had never actually seen one. And this one maybe rivaled the protests against the Vietnam War in the Sixties.
Father's worst nightmare.
"Split up. Addie is the priority. Find her."
I shoved Tunny into the crowd in one direction and I forced my way through another.
All I could hear were angry shouts and glass breaking as window panes were broken and bottles were thrown to the ground.
Of course alcohol would be part of this.
I was fighting through the crowds as I got deeper and deeper. People were shoving me and shouting at me, but I didn't care. I had to find Addie. I had to get her somewhere safe.
I was terrified.
But I was calm at the same time.
Terrified that I would lose Addie.
Calm because I was in my fucking element. Shouting, drunken idiots? People with dyed hair and tattoos you can't even see? People my age with piercings all over their faces? I was home. I was just in the zone.
I shoved someone. They shoved back. I shoved harder.
"Oi, watch were you're going!"
"I'm St. Fucking Jimmy, you watch where you're going!"
And that was the moment that I saw her.
Standing there, staring at me in shock. At that moment I knew that reclaiming the title of "St. Fucking Jimmy" for a brief second was the last thing I meant to say and the last thing she wanted to hear. Her chocolate brown eyes closed, then opened in a look of sheer fury. And then she walking. Not towards me, but away.
"Gloria!"
I fought my way through the crowd and caught up to her. I grabbed her in a desperate attempt to pull her back to me but she snatched her arm away. She stopped walking and so did I. I was that eager to copy her every movement, to memorize her every motion all over again. She was almost the same as I had left her. Long legs, bright hair. Everything I had remembered. But now her eyes flashed with anger as she stared me down instead of the caring glances I was so used to. I almost wanted to sink into the pavement under my shoes.
"What are you doing here? St. Jimmy isn't needed, we're perfectly fine without you. Go back to wherever you came from."
The whole riot seemed to freeze as she turned away again. She was leaving. Again. I couldn't let that happen. I had to apologize. I had to say something, anything. I grabbed her arm and she tried to jerk it away. Instead, her jacket slipped from her shoulder, revealing a star on her neck in the exact place where I had Sara's name tattooed 22 years ago. We both froze.
"Looks like Whatsername finally got over her fear of needles."
"How fucking dare you say that to me."
"How fucking dare you to not come back."
"How fucking dare you to not come find me when Chris told you I was here."
It was open. It was honest. Her voice showed the hurt. Tears were slipping down her cheeks but I barely registered it. I was just so angry at her for not coming back and leaving me alone and doing all those things that I had forgiven years ago but was suddenly angry about now when it shouldn't matter at all.
So I did was was natural.
I lashed out with the one thing that I knew would hurt most.
"How fucking dare you give up our kid."
Her open hand rocketed across my face, breaking me from my anger in the split second for her to choke back a sob as she spoke.
"Fuck. You."
"I love you."
I pulled her towards me and pressed my lips to hers. Apologizing. Wanting. Needing. Asking. Pleading.
Immediately she melted into the kiss, wrapping her arms around my neck like she used to and answering my kiss with her own.
I felt it. This is what I needed. This is what we needed. The connection we had from all those years before hadn't been broken.
The whole riot seemed to slip away. I could hear the shouts and the chaos and a distant cry of "CHRISTIAN" and the somewhat alarming sound of a fire crackling somewhere in the distance, but it didn't matter. Gloria was here. Gloria was kissing me. Gloria was filling my senses again.
Gloria loved me. She forgave me for all the stupid things that I had said and done.
And I forgave her. I forgave her for leaving me and breaking her promise. I forgave her for making me love her and having the abortion and all the other stupid little things that never mattered in the first place.
She was mine again. Nothing could ever make me this happy.
And if I didn't know better, I could swear that I could hear familiar laughter in the back of my mind. The tone was different, relieved instead of mocking like it used to be.
And if I didn't know better, I swear I that he said something to me.
You did it, Jim. You found her. Now don't ever let her go again.
MASS HYSTERIA
Red alert is the color of panic
Elevated to the point of static
Beating into the hearts of the fanatics
.................And the neighborhood's a loaded gun
Idle thought lead to
FULL-THROTTLE SCREAMING
And the welfare is asphyxiating
Mass confusion is all the new rage
And it's creating a feeding ground
For the bottom feeders of hysteria
True sounds of maniacal laughter
And the deaf-mute is
Misleading the choir
The punchline is a natural disaster
And it's sung by the unemployed
Fight fire with a riot
The class way is hanging on a wire
Because the martyr
Is a compulsive liar
..................When he said
"It's just a bunch of niggers
Throwing gas into the hysteria"
There's a disturbance on the ocean side
They tapped into the reserve
The static response is so unclear now
MAYDAY THIS IS NOT A TEST!
As the neighborhood burns
..................AMERICA IS FALLING
..................VIGILANTES WARNING YA,
CALLING CHRISTIAN AND GLORIA
Ralliers turned rioters filled the streets. Police were running around, obviously unsure of what to do. Fist fights were scattered across what should've held six lane traffic. Picket signs and petitions were scattered over the ground, being trampled by the feet that kept stomping over them.
I had heard of the riots in New York City and how they had grown in the past few months, but I had never actually seen one. And this one maybe rivaled the protests against the Vietnam War in the Sixties.
Father's worst nightmare.
"Split up. Addie is the priority. Find her."
I shoved Tunny into the crowd in one direction and I forced my way through another.
All I could hear were angry shouts and glass breaking as window panes were broken and bottles were thrown to the ground.
Of course alcohol would be part of this.
I was fighting through the crowds as I got deeper and deeper. People were shoving me and shouting at me, but I didn't care. I had to find Addie. I had to get her somewhere safe.
I was terrified.
But I was calm at the same time.
Terrified that I would lose Addie.
Calm because I was in my fucking element. Shouting, drunken idiots? People with dyed hair and tattoos you can't even see? People my age with piercings all over their faces? I was home. I was just in the zone.
I shoved someone. They shoved back. I shoved harder.
"Oi, watch were you're going!"
"I'm St. Fucking Jimmy, you watch where you're going!"
And that was the moment that I saw her.
Standing there, staring at me in shock. At that moment I knew that reclaiming the title of "St. Fucking Jimmy" for a brief second was the last thing I meant to say and the last thing she wanted to hear. Her chocolate brown eyes closed, then opened in a look of sheer fury. And then she walking. Not towards me, but away.
"Gloria!"
I fought my way through the crowd and caught up to her. I grabbed her in a desperate attempt to pull her back to me but she snatched her arm away. She stopped walking and so did I. I was that eager to copy her every movement, to memorize her every motion all over again. She was almost the same as I had left her. Long legs, bright hair. Everything I had remembered. But now her eyes flashed with anger as she stared me down instead of the caring glances I was so used to. I almost wanted to sink into the pavement under my shoes.
"What are you doing here? St. Jimmy isn't needed, we're perfectly fine without you. Go back to wherever you came from."
The whole riot seemed to freeze as she turned away again. She was leaving. Again. I couldn't let that happen. I had to apologize. I had to say something, anything. I grabbed her arm and she tried to jerk it away. Instead, her jacket slipped from her shoulder, revealing a star on her neck in the exact place where I had Sara's name tattooed 22 years ago. We both froze.
"Looks like Whatsername finally got over her fear of needles."
"How fucking dare you say that to me."
"How fucking dare you to not come back."
"How fucking dare you to not come find me when Chris told you I was here."
It was open. It was honest. Her voice showed the hurt. Tears were slipping down her cheeks but I barely registered it. I was just so angry at her for not coming back and leaving me alone and doing all those things that I had forgiven years ago but was suddenly angry about now when it shouldn't matter at all.
So I did was was natural.
I lashed out with the one thing that I knew would hurt most.
"How fucking dare you give up our kid."
Her open hand rocketed across my face, breaking me from my anger in the split second for her to choke back a sob as she spoke.
"Fuck. You."
"I love you."
I pulled her towards me and pressed my lips to hers. Apologizing. Wanting. Needing. Asking. Pleading.
Immediately she melted into the kiss, wrapping her arms around my neck like she used to and answering my kiss with her own.
I felt it. This is what I needed. This is what we needed. The connection we had from all those years before hadn't been broken.
The whole riot seemed to slip away. I could hear the shouts and the chaos and a distant cry of "CHRISTIAN" and the somewhat alarming sound of a fire crackling somewhere in the distance, but it didn't matter. Gloria was here. Gloria was kissing me. Gloria was filling my senses again.
Gloria loved me. She forgave me for all the stupid things that I had said and done.
And I forgave her. I forgave her for leaving me and breaking her promise. I forgave her for making me love her and having the abortion and all the other stupid little things that never mattered in the first place.
She was mine again. Nothing could ever make me this happy.
And if I didn't know better, I could swear that I could hear familiar laughter in the back of my mind. The tone was different, relieved instead of mocking like it used to be.
And if I didn't know better, I swear I that he said something to me.
You did it, Jim. You found her. Now don't ever let her go again.
MASS HYSTERIA
Red alert is the color of panic
Elevated to the point of static
Beating into the hearts of the fanatics
.................And the neighborhood's a loaded gun
Idle thought lead to
FULL-THROTTLE SCREAMING
And the welfare is asphyxiating
Mass confusion is all the new rage
And it's creating a feeding ground
For the bottom feeders of hysteria
True sounds of maniacal laughter
And the deaf-mute is
Misleading the choir
The punchline is a natural disaster
And it's sung by the unemployed
Fight fire with a riot
The class way is hanging on a wire
Because the martyr
Is a compulsive liar
..................When he said
"It's just a bunch of niggers
Throwing gas into the hysteria"
There's a disturbance on the ocean side
They tapped into the reserve
The static response is so unclear now
MAYDAY THIS IS NOT A TEST!
As the neighborhood burns
..................AMERICA IS FALLING
..................VIGILANTES WARNING YA,
CALLING CHRISTIAN AND GLORIA
♠ ♠ ♠
The end of this may sound girly for Jimmy but I don't give a flying flagon (stupidest expression ever, but they say it in the Madrigal I'm in for school so I'm gonna say it). It made me happy writing it and I hope it makes you happy reading it.(And that little part with the Saint at the very end? My personal favorite. It makes me just SO HAPPY. The Saint was always my favorite. Just sayin'.)