Raised in the Era of Heroes and Cons
B. MODERN WORLD
Fighting and screaming and glass breaking and guns firing and I'm pushing from all sides but I just can't get free.
This is pure chaos.
And I'm caught in it.
I don't know how it happened. Gloria and I were just talking about my family and my broken home and we were walking no place in particular.
Which was probably how we stumbled into the rally and how the crowd swallowed us whole.
Gloria apparently has a nose for danger, but before we could push our way out the police showed. Shields up, helmets on, guns most likely loaded with rubber bullets. They were prepared for it to get rough.
Which is probably why it got rough, dip shits.
They stood in the way of the crowd and Gloria and I were desperately trying to get out but no one would move and then people started pushing against the cops and the cops started pushing back and then someone hit someone and it all went to hell.
Gloria grabbed my hand and started moving faster, but there was still a wall of people in front of her and then there was a wall coming in between us and then I lost her hand and then I lost her face and then I lost view of her hair in the crowd.
I was alone.
Alone and fucking scared.
There was nothing like this in the Bay. We all knew each other. No one really tried to start anything for any reason unless it was a drunken fist fight.
I'd heard Sacramento had stuff like this sometimes, but I never saw anything when I was there.
I want to go home.
California is safe.
I want to go home.
California is warm.
I want to go home.
California is home.
Why did I ever want to leave?
This whole trip was stupid. I should've never dragged Dad out there. I should've never wanted to go back stage. I should've never wanted to go to that concert.
This whole stupid thing was my fault.
I'm such a fucking idiot.
Someone was shoved onto me.
I shoved back.
They pushed harder.
"Stop. Fucking. PUSHING ME." I shoved whoever it was with all my body weight and they hit the ground. The look on his face gave me the signal to get the hell out of that area. And I did.
And then they were there. Taunting me with all my faults.
"Look at what you've done."
"If you hadn't run away you wouldn't be in this mess."
"Gloria wouldn't be in this mess."
"You're just a stupid little girl."
"You can't help anyone."
"And now you can't even go home."
I held my hands over my ears. "ShutupshutupSHUTUP!"
I don't know how loud I was, but I was obviously shouting by how people were looking at me.
I was starting to have a break down int he middle of all this. Awesome.
I pushed away from them, desperately clinging to the last shred of sanity that I had that was just telling me to run. They just followed, their voices filling my head, only made worse by my heart pounding in my ears, blocking out practically everything but their voices.
This is all just so fucking stupid.
This all wouldn't have happened if my idiot parents didn't get a divorce.
We'd be a normal family, living in a normal house in Detroit, I wouldn't be seeing things, I'd get to see Mom for more than just holidays and my birthday. We'd be normal. I'd be normal.
This whole fucking thing is just so damn fucking stupid.
I want to go back in time.
I want to go back home. To Detroit.
I want to go back to when things were normal and I had a positive look on life.
Everything that's going on now is just some major bull shit.
When you were four, you knew that things were going to be okay. No matter what it was. Mommy and Daddy were going to fix it, even if they couldn't fix themselves. They could fix things for you.
Or they could royally fuck things up by getting a divorce, leaving you to fend for yourself and installing a permanent fear of talking to them for the rest of your life.
Fuck everything.
Fuck this.
Fuck them.
Fuck New York.
Fuck California.
Fuck Detroit.
I'm pushing through he crowd, deciding my own fate now.
I'll run away for good. I'll travel the country, living off the money I have saved up from that shitty job I had last year. I won't let people remember me. I'll just be a ghost in their memory, barely anything for them to think about. Just a great party and a good few days. And then one day they'll go to all their past friends and they'll say "Hey, do you remember that one girl?" And they will, but just barely. And-
And I run into someone.
And it's Christian fucking Elliot.
And I just start to cry.
And he's there and he wraps his arms around me and I am just losing it. Losing it.
"Come on, it's time to get out of here and go home."
And he just turns me around and punches anyone who doesn't get out of the way and then we're out of the crowd.
We stop for a moment while he texts Dad --at least that's what I assume he's doing-- and then he gives me a piggy back ride all the way back to his apartment.
I fell asleep just as we passed East 12th Street.
I didn't even realize that I was that tired.
I'm a fugitive son
In the Era of Dissent
A hostage of the soul
On a strike to pay the rent
.................The last of the rebels
Without a common ground
I'm gonna light a fire
Into the underground
I DON'T WANT TO LIVE
.................IN THE MODERN WORLD
I am a nation
Without bureaucratic ties
Deny the allegation as it's written
I want to take a ride
To the great divide
Beyond the "up to date"
And the neo-gentrified
The high definition
For the low resident
Where the value of your mind
Is not held in contempt
I can hear the sound of
...............A BEATING HEART
...............That bleeds beyond a system
...............That's falling apart
With money to burn
On a minimum wage
...............I DON'T GIVE A SHIT
...............ABOUT THE MODERN AGE
I DON'T WANT TO LIVE
IN THE MODERN WORLD
................MASS HYSTERIA
This is pure chaos.
And I'm caught in it.
I don't know how it happened. Gloria and I were just talking about my family and my broken home and we were walking no place in particular.
Which was probably how we stumbled into the rally and how the crowd swallowed us whole.
Gloria apparently has a nose for danger, but before we could push our way out the police showed. Shields up, helmets on, guns most likely loaded with rubber bullets. They were prepared for it to get rough.
Which is probably why it got rough, dip shits.
They stood in the way of the crowd and Gloria and I were desperately trying to get out but no one would move and then people started pushing against the cops and the cops started pushing back and then someone hit someone and it all went to hell.
Gloria grabbed my hand and started moving faster, but there was still a wall of people in front of her and then there was a wall coming in between us and then I lost her hand and then I lost her face and then I lost view of her hair in the crowd.
I was alone.
Alone and fucking scared.
There was nothing like this in the Bay. We all knew each other. No one really tried to start anything for any reason unless it was a drunken fist fight.
I'd heard Sacramento had stuff like this sometimes, but I never saw anything when I was there.
I want to go home.
California is safe.
I want to go home.
California is warm.
I want to go home.
California is home.
Why did I ever want to leave?
This whole trip was stupid. I should've never dragged Dad out there. I should've never wanted to go back stage. I should've never wanted to go to that concert.
This whole stupid thing was my fault.
I'm such a fucking idiot.
Someone was shoved onto me.
I shoved back.
They pushed harder.
"Stop. Fucking. PUSHING ME." I shoved whoever it was with all my body weight and they hit the ground. The look on his face gave me the signal to get the hell out of that area. And I did.
And then they were there. Taunting me with all my faults.
"Look at what you've done."
"If you hadn't run away you wouldn't be in this mess."
"Gloria wouldn't be in this mess."
"You're just a stupid little girl."
"You can't help anyone."
"And now you can't even go home."
I held my hands over my ears. "ShutupshutupSHUTUP!"
I don't know how loud I was, but I was obviously shouting by how people were looking at me.
I was starting to have a break down int he middle of all this. Awesome.
I pushed away from them, desperately clinging to the last shred of sanity that I had that was just telling me to run. They just followed, their voices filling my head, only made worse by my heart pounding in my ears, blocking out practically everything but their voices.
This is all just so fucking stupid.
This all wouldn't have happened if my idiot parents didn't get a divorce.
We'd be a normal family, living in a normal house in Detroit, I wouldn't be seeing things, I'd get to see Mom for more than just holidays and my birthday. We'd be normal. I'd be normal.
This whole fucking thing is just so damn fucking stupid.
I want to go back in time.
I want to go back home. To Detroit.
I want to go back to when things were normal and I had a positive look on life.
Everything that's going on now is just some major bull shit.
When you were four, you knew that things were going to be okay. No matter what it was. Mommy and Daddy were going to fix it, even if they couldn't fix themselves. They could fix things for you.
Or they could royally fuck things up by getting a divorce, leaving you to fend for yourself and installing a permanent fear of talking to them for the rest of your life.
Fuck everything.
Fuck this.
Fuck them.
Fuck New York.
Fuck California.
Fuck Detroit.
I'm pushing through he crowd, deciding my own fate now.
I'll run away for good. I'll travel the country, living off the money I have saved up from that shitty job I had last year. I won't let people remember me. I'll just be a ghost in their memory, barely anything for them to think about. Just a great party and a good few days. And then one day they'll go to all their past friends and they'll say "Hey, do you remember that one girl?" And they will, but just barely. And-
And I run into someone.
And it's Christian fucking Elliot.
And I just start to cry.
And he's there and he wraps his arms around me and I am just losing it. Losing it.
"Come on, it's time to get out of here and go home."
And he just turns me around and punches anyone who doesn't get out of the way and then we're out of the crowd.
We stop for a moment while he texts Dad --at least that's what I assume he's doing-- and then he gives me a piggy back ride all the way back to his apartment.
I fell asleep just as we passed East 12th Street.
I didn't even realize that I was that tired.
I'm a fugitive son
In the Era of Dissent
A hostage of the soul
On a strike to pay the rent
.................The last of the rebels
Without a common ground
I'm gonna light a fire
Into the underground
I DON'T WANT TO LIVE
.................IN THE MODERN WORLD
I am a nation
Without bureaucratic ties
Deny the allegation as it's written
I want to take a ride
To the great divide
Beyond the "up to date"
And the neo-gentrified
The high definition
For the low resident
Where the value of your mind
Is not held in contempt
I can hear the sound of
...............A BEATING HEART
...............That bleeds beyond a system
...............That's falling apart
With money to burn
On a minimum wage
...............I DON'T GIVE A SHIT
...............ABOUT THE MODERN AGE
I DON'T WANT TO LIVE
IN THE MODERN WORLD
................MASS HYSTERIA
♠ ♠ ♠
UGH, TOOK SO LONG SO GET THIS WRITTEN.SEE THE LIGHT WILL TAKE LONGER BECAUSE IT MEANS THAT I HAVE TO LET GO OF JIMMY FOR GOOD.
D: