Inside of You

A few more tests later and I was asleep on the bed I was lying on. I figured out – on my own – that I was at a hospital. I mean I might’ve lost a big portion of my memory but at least my common sense was still working. When I woke up, I saw two people walking in. I couldn’t really see who they were since my vision was blurry but after a few blinks, I was glad to recognize Kennedy and Garrett.

“Hey guys!” I said all chipper and smiling.

They both stopped in their tracks and looked at me before looking at each other. I wondered why they acted so weird. How could I not know it was them? They played like a huge part in my life.

“I thought you lost your memory,” Garrett mentioned as he sat by my bed.

“What are you talking about?” I raised an eyebrow as I glanced from him to Kennedy and back.

“John told us-”

“Who is that guy, anyway? I mean he came in here like a while back saying that I was his girlfriend or something,” I said, cutting Kennedy off before he can even start talking.

“So you remember us but not John?” Kennedy tried to clarify as he looked at me with horrified eyes.

“Am I missing something here?” I directed the question to both of them but nobody met my eyes.

“Do you at least remember how you got here?” Garrett inquired.

I tried to think really hard but nothing came to mind. It was uncanny that I forgot my own name but didn’t forget the names of the guys talking to me right now. It was as if there was this part of my brain that had stopped working. It was probably due to the throbbing in my head but I don’t know. I always thought my memories ran around inside my head like nomads. I didn’t think they’d dwell in one place and diminish once that one part got hit by something hard.

“Um…” I struggled to give out an answer. I wanted to remember but I couldn’t.

“Don’t worry about it. What’s important is that you’re alive, safe and away from harm.” It was weird how Kennedy actually cared about my well-being. I mean I remembered when I left this place and went to live in New York and all that happened there. I also remember the moment I came back home and he was the one who picked me up at the airport. I always thought he hated me ever since I came back but I’m glad we were on good terms again.

I took a good look at Kennedy and realized that he was actually sincere about what he said. The rest of the time was spent by asking more questions about what I remember. They keep bringing this John guy up though but I really couldn’t remember who he was or what he was to me. I didn’t want to have to ask them because it would be sorta weird. I mean he was tall and handsome but I don’t think he’s the kind of guy I picture myself with for the rest of my life. My mind was actually set on Kennedy and how I’ve always had these feelings for him but I never really got around to telling him about them. There’s a figment of a memory in my mind that reminded me of how sweet he was on our date. We hit a really rough patch after that since I knew all he wanted to do was get into my pants but I think I’ve had enough time to forgive him for everything he’s done wrong. I mean people make mistakes, right?

“So when are you getting discharged?” Garrett asked, bringing my attention back to the present where we all were.

“The doctor said that I need to be here for a couple more days to see if there’s something they might’ve missed,” I told him and he nodded with understanding.

“Your sister and Aunt Catherine, do you know who they are?” Kennedy asked after having a handful of minutes to think about a question.

“Of course,” I told him. “How can I not know who they are? They’re my only family now.”

They ran out of questions after a while and it all just became silent between all of us. I kept staring at Kennedy as if there was nothing better to do but when he tried to catch me in the act, I always look away. Garrett was just staring at the ceiling. They were most probably tired from something.

“Don’t you guys have a show to put on or something?” I asked checking the clock. It was already 7 in the evening and they probably thought that I’d be sleeping when they came.

“Wait, so you remember the band but not the singer?” Kennedy asked, surprised.

“Aren’t you the singer?” I asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Um, nope,” he said, looking at Garrett.

“John is,” Garrett told me.

“Oh,” was all I could say. So maybe he did play a big role in my life. But what does being the singer of their band have to do with anything?

“I can’t believe you don’t remember anything about John,” Garrett mentioned, feeling totally amazed.

“Can you please just stop saying his name? It gets really annoying,” I said and they muttered an apology.

The guys left after a while saying things like they needed to do something. I wouldn’t blame them. I mean I guess the outburst was a little on the extreme side but sometimes they just have to understand that no means no. So, when I say I don’t remember this guy named John, I mean it. It’s not like I’d play around telling that I don’t remember him when I did. That would be weird on so many levels. And plus, why would I need to lie about something like that? Did John and I have some kind of history together?

I was feeling clueless with each second that ticked by. I didn’t realize that my phone was on my bedside table this whole time. I retrieved it from the table and looked at the messages I sent and received. The only thing that had John’s name on it was this message I sent saying ‘SOS’. At first, I didn’t know what this was about but then when I thought hard about it, I remembered exactly what happened.

I remember the scene and how Garrett tried to protect me and how I sent this message. But most of all, I remember the last thing I saw that night – Kennedy’s face.