Inside of You

OLIVIA

When Kennedy broke it down to me at Chili’s, I was downright confused – not only about the lost memories in my head but also about the thoughts that were formed to replace those memories that seemed to escape the confines of my skull. I didn’t let it get weird between us though or rather, he didn’t let it get weird between us. We got past it quickly and hung out like two friends that have known each other for so long.

He gave me the Cliffnotes version of my life and I tried hard to put the pieces together but the part where John came in totally blew it out of proportion. If I were to describe what was going on in my head right now, I’d probably tell you that I had this really big puzzle with the tiniest pieces and whenever I didn’t have the right piece, I’d wreck everything up in aggravation before reassembling it. It’s crazy, I know, but everything that was happening here was complicated and hectic. I almost lost hope but Kennedy was helping me through it.

“So you mean he and I knew each other ever since we were like 5?” I was surprised to hear this. How was I able to remember everything that has happened recently but forget everything that occurred in the past? It didn’t really make as much sense to me. Aren’t we supposed to remember the more memorable stuff? And isn’t that stuff like in the past or something?

“That’s what I remember him saying once,” he said as we walked by a record shop.

We turned and walked through the entrance as we kept talking. By now, it was already 8 at night. We already grabbed dinner so all that’s left to do was go home. But somehow, I didn’t really want this day to end. I wanted to find out more about myself but I wasn’t that selfish. I knew Kennedy had better things to do and I was feeling guilty for making him stay with me.

“So are we ready to head home?” he asked me as soon as we got to the parking lot.

“I wouldn’t want to keep you from what you had on your agenda today anymore so I guess we’re all set,” I laughed. It was sorta useless to let him go now since it was already night and he couldn’t really do much from now until the time he had to sleep; unless of course, he had some kind of party to attend to.

The drive to my house was silent but it was nothing awkward. It was actually pretty comfortable. I rested my head on the window as my blinks started to turn heavy. I was pretty tired. I thought I could handle a whole day out without feeling this wave of exhaustion but I guess I was wrong. But at least today wasn’t a waste of time like the days I spent lying in my bed at home. I was actually very lucky to have this opportunity to clear things up before I made mistakes that would be hard to take back. I didn’t want to commit anything wrong anymore and if I never called Kennedy, I’m sure I wouldn’t be able to help it.

We got to my house after a few minutes. Well it was actually a half hour drive but I was asleep for the most part. I thanked Kennedy for everything and gave him a hug.

“I’m glad I called this morning,” I told him as we broke apart.

“Me too,” he replied as we stared into each other’s eyes. I smiled at him before opening the door and getting out of the car. I started to walk up my porch when I realized that the engine of his car hasn’t started yet.

I turned back just to see that he was watching me get into the house. I waved at him and he waved back before starting the car and heading to wherever he wanted to be at this hour.

The lights in the house were still on. I wouldn’t really expect them off this early on a Saturday night. I mean I don’t think Andy sleeps that early. Besides, what kind of person would hit the sack at about 9:30 P.M. on a Saturday night?

I twisted the door knob and walked into the kitchen. I was parched for some reason and I thought some water could fix that. But as soon as I got into the kitchen, I saw Garrett and Andy making out by the island counter. Garrett was on one of the stools and Andy was planted on his lap.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” I said rushing back out of the door.

“Olivia, wait,” Garrett called out. I heard Andy hiss at him but that didn’t stop him from getting up.

I stopped in my tracks feeling awkward with every second. I spun around as soon as Garrett placed a hand on my shoulder.

“Look, I never intended for anything to happen between your sister and I. It just sort of hap-”

“Garrett, you don’t really have to explain anything to me. I mean you’re free to hook up with anyone. It was just weird to see you guys do that in the kitchen,” I laughed.

Garrett seemed hurt and surprised at the same time. Did he actually expect me to be jealous or something? I’ve known Garrett for a long time but I’ve never seen him with someone. It was weird though since he was a pretty nice guy.

It seemed like he wanted to say something but his mind wasn’t providing him with the words he wanted to use. “Olivia, there’s something you need to know,” he said grabbing one of my hands. I wanted to snatch it away from his grip but I didn’t want to seem rude.

“What is it?” I asked in the most casual way possible. I wasn’t sure where this was headed but I don’t think I wanted to hear it. To sum all that up, I was nervous.

“I, uh, I l-like you.” I almost laughed when he said it. Luckily, I was able to hold it back. It would’ve been a disaster if I wasn’t able to contain it.

“Garrett, you’re my best friend and-”

“You’re not getting it! I freakin’ like you as more than that, okay? I spent all this time wondering how to say all this to you and it’s not even coming out right. Look, there are so many things I want to tell you and I don’t know where to start,” he rambled.

I looked at him intently and slipped my fingers off of his. I bit my lip as I thought about what he said but only one thing made its way to my mind. “Then why did you make out with my sister just now?”

This practically stunned him. He was about to reply to that when I saw Andy standing a few meters away from where Garrett was standing. Her eyes were welling up. She had this look on her face that looked so guilty. I wanted to ask her what was wrong but before I could open my mouth, my eyes landed on the pendant on the necklace she was wearing.

The pendant was a heart-shaped key with diamond studs on it. For some reason, I felt my adrenaline kicking in. I wanted nothing more than to rip the necklace off of her neck. That necklace was mine. It was weird how I was overprotective over it but before I knew it, I rushed to her and ripped it off of her neck.

The chain broke and I saw Andy’s jaw drop open. “You fucking bitch! What do you think you’re doing?!” she exclaimed loudly as she tried to take what was left of the necklace away from me.

“This necklace is mine!” I said, defending myself as I shoved her away from me. She tried to come at me but I always ended up throwing her to the side. She was that light.

Garrett was standing there helplessly. He stared at the scene unfold before him and I just wanted to kick him hard in the head for that. Why wasn’t he doing anything to stop this?

“That’s where you’re wrong! John gave it to me because he loves me! He doesn’t love you because you’re just some slut who blew him off. Now, give that back to me!” She screamed her lungs out as she lunged at me.

“Liar!” I said, pushing her to the side once more. Now, I may not have the strength to defend myself against a guy but I had every power in my biceps and triceps to throw some light weight around. I could even throw a hard punch but I was more sensible than that.

“Why are you calling me a liar? What I’m saying is true! John even told me he loved me today right when you left. Would you want to know what we did today? We had sex in your room! That’s how I got that necklace!” Her voice was just so annoying that I wanted to strangle her.

Tears were forming in my eyes but I wasn’t letting them fall that quickly. “Get your fucked up ass in your room before more shit goes down,” I threatened, not wanting to hear her annoying voice anymore.

“You’re not the boss of me!” Andy cried out like a little girl. If only she knew what would happen if I got really ticked off right now…

“Really? Is that what you think? Because I’m fucking older than you and I can boss you around whenever I fucking want. Now go do what the fuck I just said!” I yelled at her.

She started to cry but I only sneered at her. She ran towards her room and locked herself inside. If you were some stranger looking through the windows, you’d probably think we were two girls stuck in a house together. No relation between us, whatsoever. But we were sisters. And right at this moment, I hated that fact.

Garrett somehow slipped out of the door without either of us noticing. I didn’t care about him. He was pretty useless to say the least.

I unclenched my angry fists and noticed that the sharp part of the key bit into my skin. It was bleeding but I didn’t care. I stared at it for a few minutes and started to remember everything. Every piece of the puzzle started fitting right and my memories were making their way back into my head.

I started to break down in tears but I wasn’t planning to end the night yet. I had to know if what Andy said was real.

I ran outside the front door, across the lawn and up his porch. I banged hard on his door as I waited for him to answer. I needed to see him. I wanted to clear everything up. But more than that, I wanted to wrap myself in his arms and kiss him until my lips hurt.