Inside of You

I took the bullet and waited for more but Andy just chose to stand there and watch as her venomous words tore me apart. Garrett tried to tell her that it wasn’t my fault but I told him that it was fine. Andy didn’t seem to care either way which hurt me but she was hurt so I guess in a way this was all understandable.

“Look, I’m gonna go meet the lawyer and we’re going to talk about Mom’s will. Do you want to come?” I asked her and she scoffed at my invitation.

“I wouldn’t want to spend a day with you, if that’s what you’re asking,” she said walking across the room and peering into the refrigerator for something to eat.

I looked at Garrett and gave him a small smile before draining my coffee quickly. I didn’t want to upset Andy any longer so I decided to hasten my movement so I can get out of the house more quickly.

Garrett frowned at me knowing that I wasn’t supposed to let go just like that. I knew I had to do something about this but I didn’t know what to do exactly. I didn’t want to hurt her even more so I guess I should just dismiss her rudeness and let her be for now.

I grabbed my bag and walked out of the kitchen and to the foyer to get the car keys. My mother’s car was being fixed in the car and it was being paid for by the insurance companies so we had nothing to worry about. I took the keys to car I rode to the hospital and started walking outside.

I couldn’t keep all the things I felt inside. Once I got in the car I knew it was safe because no one else would be coming out of the house anymore so I broke down in there. I knew that Andy would hate me but wasn’t that just too much? I mean she wasn’t the only one who lost her. I lost her too.

The pain was unbearable and having to add more to the list made it worse than ever. I was trembling as I tried to get the keys into the ignition. I had at least 30 minutes before the meeting and I bet looked like crap. I breathe out heavily and almost got a heart attack when I heard someone knocking on my car window.

“Hey, calm down, it’s just me,” John said opening the door on my side. I jumped out of my seat and into his arms and longed for his touch.

“You scared the shit out of me,” I mumbled into his chest. I felt it vibrate a little as he chuckled.

“Where were you gonna go?” he asked me as soon as I pulled away. He wiped a fresh tear from my eye with his thumb and I leaned it into his touch.

“I’m meeting up with the lawyer,” I told him and he smiled.

“Wait for me, I’m gonna go change and then I’ll accompany you. Oh, and I’m driving,” he said sprinting into his house before I could say anything more.

■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■

“You know, you didn’t have to come with me,” I told him as soon as we hit the pavement. IT was only a fifteen minute drive from my house to the meeting place and with each minute that passed us by, my nerves g0t more and more tense.

“Babe, what kind of a boyfriend would I be if I let my girlfriend go to a meeting with her lawyer, alone?” he asked me keeping his eyes on the road. I rolled my eyes at him and just laughed at his reply. He held my hand and brought it to his lips. I smiled at the gesture as I looked out the window.

“I never knew I had a boyfriend,” I said looking at him as he parked the car in an empty space.

“Right, I forgot totally forgot,” he said and I looked at him with both my eyebrows raised. “Olivia Cassandra Harper, would you do me the honors of being my girlfriend?” he asked me taking a velvet box out of his back pocket.

I looked up at him looking for any kind of sign that would tell me that he was joking but he wasn’t. He was serious – dead serious, actually.

“Umm, John, what’s in the box?” I swallowed hard as he gave out a light chuckle. He opened it slowly and it revealed the promise necklace that he had given me when I was thirteen.

The necklace had a diamond studded key as a pendant. He always told me that that key would be the one that would make him open up to me and that as long as I had it, he wouldn’t keep anything from me. It was also a sign that told us that we’d be friends no matter what happened. I gave it back to him before I ran away because after what happened, our friendship didn’t seem like something I wanted to keep.

“I can’t believe you still have this,” I told him as I took it from the box.

“I could never throw that away. It holds too many memories. Every night while you were gone, I kept it under my pillow hoping that you’d take it from me and wear it again.” He said and I looked up at him guiltily. “It was the only thing that gave me hope. It told me that one day, you would come back.” He said smiling up at me.

I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed his cheek as I gave him a smile. We got out of the car and he slipped the necklace around my neck.

“So this means that you’re my girlfriend now, right?” he asked me and I smiled at him.

“I guess it does,” I said and he kissed my lips.

We entered the coffee shop hand in hand as I looked for the family lawyer – Mr. Fredrickson.

I’ve seen the man before so it wasn’t hard to spot him sitting by the window. His hair was now gray and the wrinkles on his face made him look older. He had his briefcase on the floor and a file on the table. Everything about him looked formal. But then again he was a lawyer so that was nothing unusual.

“Olivia, it’s so nice to see you,” he said as soon as he saw John and me approaching the table.

“Hey, Mr. Fredrickson,” I Greeted taking a seat right in front of him. “This is John, my boyfriend,” I introduced. John looked at me with a grin on his face.

They shook hands and then Mr. Fredrickson started with the will. From what was written on the paper, my mother left us the house that was already paid for, the cars that both had insurance, a really big amount of money and a separate bank account for Andy’s education. She had so much planned for us. I can’t believe she never told me about this.

“Can I ask you something?” I asked the lawyer as I leaned forward and placed my hands on the table.

“Sure, what is it?” he asked in a friendly tone.

“How long has my mother had cancer exactly?” I asked him. I knew that the doctor said that she was struggling for five months but with this all this stuff in her will, it seemed like she knew that this was going to happen.

“Well she was diagnosed early last year. But all the heavy symptoms showed up five months ago,” he said. I looked up at him with shock in my eyes. She never said anything. Why didn’t she say anything? She had no right to keep it from me like that!

“Why didn’t she say anything?” I asked softly as I stared at my hands praying away my tears. This was too much.

“I guess she didn’t want you guys to worry,” he said cautiously.

I breathed out heavily as I looked up at him with a small, fake smile. “Well, thank you for your help today, Mr. Fredrickson,” I said and he nodded as he kept the files.

“I hope you have a great day,” he said shaking my hand before getting up and leaving.

“Babe, are you okay?” he asked me moving his chair over closer to me so I could lean into him.

I didn’t answer him because I didn’t know if I was or wasn’t fine. I just cuddled into his chest and let the tears fall from my eyes hoping that John’s body was enough to hide me away from people.Why did she have to keep secrets from me?