Shallow Believer

What a strange feeling it was, to wake up the next morning and remember you went sky diving yesterday. Bert was tired, having spent the night the night packing most of his things up. He had passed out on the couch, curled up in between bags and boxes. Bert didn’t hear the knocking at his door, but Gerard let himself in anyway. He looked around the packed apartment in search of Bert. When he wasn’t in his bed, Gerard got nervous. He quickly called his boyfriend, seeing his phone light up on the table next to the couch. Bert woke from the dead, pushing off the blanket that was covering his tiny body. He grabbed his phone just as it stopped ringing. Gerard let out a laugh, walking over to the sleepy Bert. “Morning,” he chirped.

Bert jumped, turning to find Gerard hovering behind him. Quickly, he calmed down, not expecting anyone to be in his house this early. His eyes went to the clock. It was just a few minutes past noon. “Mmm, morning,” Bert replied, rubbing his eyes with the heel of his palms. He let out a loud yawn, “Ready to get moving?” He added, still with the air of sleep in his voice.
Gerard sighed, sitting himself down beside Bert. “First, we gotta talk.”
Bert’s stomach dropped, and he stared at Gerard. It was too early for “talking.” He hadn’t even had a cup of coffee yet. Bert nodded just slightly, keeping his blue eyes fixed on the floor below him. There was silence for a few moments, enough to make Bert uncomfortable.

“What is it, Gee?” He asked, quietly.
“If we’re gonna do this again, you gotta lay off the drinking,” Gerard glanced over at Bert, who was trying to pretend the cracks in the wood floor were the most interesting things in the world.
Bert’s eyebrows furrowed, as he thought. He wanted to be with Gerard, more than anything; but giving up alcohol cold, that was going to hard. Maybe too hard. Bert’s eyes finally met Gerard’s. He was worried he couldn’t do it and that Gerard would leave, again. Gerard shifted in his seat, uncomfortable with the silence. He could sense Bert’s hesitation, which scared him. Was Bert really going to chose alcohol over him? “I’ll help you get clean, Bert,” he said.

Bert had tried to get sober, but it never turned out the way he had hoped. The withdrawal and the cravings got the better of him. He gave in, and drank; and then just gave up afterwards. It was worth another shot, right; but what if it didn’t work? What if Gerard left him again. Gerard would leave him now, if he didn’t agree. So, hesitantly, Bert let out a weak, “Okay, okay...” He got up off the couch, surprised he was able to process all of this without coffee. Bert disappeared into the kitchen for a moment, coming back with a hot cup of coffee and cream.
Bert bit his lip, he couldn’t imagine his life without alcohol; but he couldn’t imagine his life without Gerard, either.