Fairy Tail

I'm sitting in a room made up of only big white walls
And in the hall, there are people looking through
The window in the door
They know exactly what we're here for

Don't look up, just let them think
There's no place else you'd rather be

You're always on display
For everyone to watch and learn from
Don't you know by now? You can't turn back
Because this road is all you'll ever have

And it's obvious that you're dying, dying
Just living proof that the camera's lying
And oh, oh, open wide, 'cause this is your night
So smile, 'cause you'll go out in style
You'll go out in style

If you let me, I could
I'd show you how to build your fences
Set restrictions, separate from the world
The constant battle that you hate to fight
Just blame the limelight

Don't look up, just let them think
There's no place else you'd rather be
And now you can't turn back
Because this road is all you'll ever have

And it's obvious that you're dying, dying
Just living proof that the camera's lying
And oh, oh, open wide, 'cause this is your night
So smile

Yeah, yeah, you're asking for it
With every breath that you breathe in
Just breathe it in

Yeah, yeah, well, you're just a mess
You do all this big talking
So now let's see you walk it
I said, let's see you walk it

Yeah, yeah, well, you're just a mess
You do all this big talking
So now let's see you walk it
I said, let's see you walk it

And it's obvious that you're dying, dying
Just living proof that the camera's lying
And oh, oh, open wide, yeah, oh, oh, open wide
Yeah, oh, oh, open wide, 'cause you'll go out in style
You'll go out in style

I might just be paranoid, but as I watched Paramore perform “Fences”, it was like Hayley literally was singing about me. Now, I know they wrote that song ages ago, but at the moment, it described my life so well that it gave me feelings of guilt. Neither did it help that I could feel everyone’s gaze on me during the whole song. Not that it was something new. Ever since my attempt to drown my sorrows, puking my guts up and then getting into a fight, had a minute past without someone watching over me. Alone time was out of the question.

“You're always on display, for everyone to watch and learn from…” I mumbled to myself, rather amused about the truth in those words.

I couldn’t even go to the bathroom without someone panicking about my absence. On top of that, Hayley had pretty much avoided me ever since I’d told her my story. Though, that wasn’t really what bugged me, which was rather strange, considering I was both ashamed and felt extremely bad about the whole thing. No, the thing that did bug me was the fact that she obviously was mad at me. I just wished I knew why. No matter how hard I tried, I could not figure out why. Though, my guess was that she at some point realized that I wasn’t worth the trouble. Or…I did or said something to her while I was…let’s say…among the clouds. Unfortunately for me, I was way too proud…okay…ashamed, to ask her about it.

So yeah, while I should be processing everything that had happened; me, finally given in to my past, the drinking, the pills and the violence, I was trying to figure out why Hayley was angry with me. To my offense, that was the thing that felt most appealing at the time.

I sighed as I kept watching her jump around on the stage. Appealing or not, I knew what I really had to do, but even the thought of it scared me; I needed to get my life together. And this time, it would be for real. Running away was no long an option. If the fight had taught me anything, it was that this time, I couldn’t just take all feelings and emotions and lock them up, somewhere deep inside, because sooner or later, they would explode and I would get in trouble, one way or the other. No, this time I had to do something about it and I guess that’s why I’d agreed on going home with Cass over the break. To do that, I needed space and something new; Florida would be perfect. Not to mention the distance it would put between Hayley and me, something I figured we both needed. So yeah, Florida would be perfect.

“Honey, are you ready?”

I turned around and gave Cass a quick smile.

“Yeah…”

I gave Hayley one last look which resulted in a short sigh. I would miss her, that’s for sure.
“Come on, the cab’s waiting.”

I turned around and walked up to Cass. As I was about to pass her, she grabbed my arm and spun me around. Carefully, she took my head between her hands and gave me a soft kiss on the lips.

“I’m sorry you don’t have time to say goodbye.” She said sincerely while looking me in the eyes.

That small gesture reminded me of why I love her so much.

“It’s alright… It’s only 10 days, right?” I answered with a convincing smile.

She kept looking into my eyes, until her gaze was drawn to a small point just above the left one. The swelling was gone, but I was still bruised around the eye and there was a rather large scab near my eyebrow. It didn’t hurt though and that was all that mattered to me. Too bad I couldn’t say the same about my hand. After the punch, it’d gotten worse for each day; though, that was something I’d kept to myself while swallowing loads and loads of painkillers. No more doctor for me, that’s for sure.

“It looks good…well…better.” Cass pointed out.

“At least I’ll be reminded to stay calm whenever I look in the mirror.” I said and shrugged my shoulders.

“That’s a bold statement.” She said rather amusingly while giving me another quick kiss on the lips. “Though, I think I might be able to keep you away from trouble for 10 days.”

“Yeah, that would be great.”

“Anyway…the cab…”

“Oh yeah…let’s go.” I said and took her hand in mine.

Without looking back, I walked towards the exit, hand in hand with Cass. I would be alright…everything would. I just needed a vacation from my life to get back on track. So yeah, it would be alright.