Status: An one-shot sequel is coming! (if you behave)
Take Me From the Hospital Bed
It's Not A Fashion Statement, It's A ***ing Deathwish
I wasn’t sure of what I should write. Our band had been all against suicide and self-harm from the beginning, and here I was, writing suicide notes. I did need to have something for the fans. I needed to explain myself, I didn’t want to courage anyone to do the same. The paper was blank for nearly half an hour before the inspiration came. I was worried of it taking so long, somebody could find out about my intentions and try to stop me. I didn’t want to be stopped. I wanted to die, but I needed to leave everyone something to remember me from.
For all of you who have supported me and the whole MCR through the years:
I need to thank you for your support. We couldn’t have made it without you. You’re the one thing that encouraged me to go on. I couldn’t help it though, with one pro and approximately five million cons, life gets a little hard to live.
I know we have always been saying suicide is not the answer. To be honest, it really isn’t. I’m just such a coward that I can’t go on with this. I can’t keep living. It’s rapidly becoming a nightmare, a nightmare I can’t wake up from by simply rolling my eyes backwards or pinching myself. Trust me, I’ve tried. It didn’t work. This is real.
I cannot tell you the exact real reason I’m doing this. In fact, there is only one person in this world who will know it, after I’m gone, and it’s up to that person to either tell you or not to tell you. I sincerely doubt he will.
I don’t want any of you, and I repeat; ANY OF YOU to go and kill yourselves because of me. If you will, I’ll hate you forever, and that’s not what you want, right? Also, if there are such places as Heaven and Hell, and to whichever I go, I’ll make sure to beat up anyone who kills themselves because of me, with a baseball bat.
So long and goodnight
xofrank
PS. If someone would be nice enough to post this on our band’s website for the fans to read, I would be very grateful.
When I was, finally, happy with what the letter turned out to be, I folded it and stuck it in the same pocket as Gerard’s letter. This one I didn’t bother to put in an envelope. After all, if they did respect my wishes, it would be free for anyone to read.
Be-beep.
“… he won’t tell me what the letter said, so I kinda suppose it was something very awful and that it hurt him”
Wrong again, Mikey. It didn’t hurt him. It just would ruin his REPUTATION. I mentally imagined all the forms of torture that could be forced on him. Finally, it made me sick to the stomach, yet I couldn’t move myself so my gag reflexes didn’t kick in. Somehow the time was twisted in a coma, so I had time to think of hundreds of torturing methods in mere seconds. Cool, right? Or it would have been, if I had only hated Gerard instead of loving him too. Feeling like you’re going to puke when you actually cannot puke isn’t very pleasant.
“He told me to fuck off last time I asked him about it… He’s, in fact, locked himself in his room. He doesn’t let anyone in, not even Lindsay – “
Well, now this is interesting.
“Mr. Way, could you leave for a while so that I could make sure the tubes are fully working?”
Stupid nurse. She just had to ruin the moment.
“Yea, I guess”
Shit. I really wanted to know what Mikey was going to say.
“Oh God, is it wrong to hope all these young people would understand suicide isn’t right even though it’s in fashion…”
What the fuck? I didn’t attempt suicide because it was COOL. I just fucking wanted to die!
Hip hip hooray for me.
For all of you who have supported me and the whole MCR through the years:
I need to thank you for your support. We couldn’t have made it without you. You’re the one thing that encouraged me to go on. I couldn’t help it though, with one pro and approximately five million cons, life gets a little hard to live.
I know we have always been saying suicide is not the answer. To be honest, it really isn’t. I’m just such a coward that I can’t go on with this. I can’t keep living. It’s rapidly becoming a nightmare, a nightmare I can’t wake up from by simply rolling my eyes backwards or pinching myself. Trust me, I’ve tried. It didn’t work. This is real.
I cannot tell you the exact real reason I’m doing this. In fact, there is only one person in this world who will know it, after I’m gone, and it’s up to that person to either tell you or not to tell you. I sincerely doubt he will.
I don’t want any of you, and I repeat; ANY OF YOU to go and kill yourselves because of me. If you will, I’ll hate you forever, and that’s not what you want, right? Also, if there are such places as Heaven and Hell, and to whichever I go, I’ll make sure to beat up anyone who kills themselves because of me, with a baseball bat.
So long and goodnight
xofrank
PS. If someone would be nice enough to post this on our band’s website for the fans to read, I would be very grateful.
When I was, finally, happy with what the letter turned out to be, I folded it and stuck it in the same pocket as Gerard’s letter. This one I didn’t bother to put in an envelope. After all, if they did respect my wishes, it would be free for anyone to read.
Be-beep.
“… he won’t tell me what the letter said, so I kinda suppose it was something very awful and that it hurt him”
Wrong again, Mikey. It didn’t hurt him. It just would ruin his REPUTATION. I mentally imagined all the forms of torture that could be forced on him. Finally, it made me sick to the stomach, yet I couldn’t move myself so my gag reflexes didn’t kick in. Somehow the time was twisted in a coma, so I had time to think of hundreds of torturing methods in mere seconds. Cool, right? Or it would have been, if I had only hated Gerard instead of loving him too. Feeling like you’re going to puke when you actually cannot puke isn’t very pleasant.
“He told me to fuck off last time I asked him about it… He’s, in fact, locked himself in his room. He doesn’t let anyone in, not even Lindsay – “
Well, now this is interesting.
“Mr. Way, could you leave for a while so that I could make sure the tubes are fully working?”
Stupid nurse. She just had to ruin the moment.
“Yea, I guess”
Shit. I really wanted to know what Mikey was going to say.
“Oh God, is it wrong to hope all these young people would understand suicide isn’t right even though it’s in fashion…”
What the fuck? I didn’t attempt suicide because it was COOL. I just fucking wanted to die!
Hip hip hooray for me.
♠ ♠ ♠
I just felt like I had to update today. I can't do it tomorrow. Also, I'm going to Barcelona on Wednesday (unless there's some stupid volcanic ash) so there is not going to be a new update for approximately a week. Please don't be evil and unsubscribe because of the momentary lack of updates. I haven't lost interest in the story, I just am nowhere near a computer. Don't worry, I'll take a notebook with me so I can write in the plane :))))Also, thank you every new subscriber, and my lovely commenters.
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