Take Me From the Hospital Bed

I looked down from the bridge. It was a really chilly evening. My breath created small puffs of smoke. The water would be freezing. At least the currents looked strong enough. A piece of fabric I had thrown down there as a test had sunk damn quickly. I certainly hoped I would, too.
There was a bench, painted bright green, on the sidewalk. I took all three letters from my pocket and placed them on the bench. I also took out my phone and typed in a couple of simple words so long. I didn’t send it. I just threw the phone on the bench with the letters and climbed on the other side of the railing, facing the quite long drop in front of me. I was wearing as much clothes as I could, hoping they would keep me underwater for long enough to run out of air. If not, I’d just need to swim deeper down.
A distant sound of a car was quickly coming closer. Somebody was going to stop me if I wasn’t quick enough. I let go. I fell.
I practically landed on my stomach. It hurt like hell, but the pain was more like a relieving feeling than anything else. The icy cold water swirled around me. I kept my eyes open, though I could only see white foam forming right in front of my eyes. I had been right, the clothes were enough to keep me below the surface. Slowly, the air in my lungs started to run out. I had the urge to swim up and take a long, deep breath, but I didn’t do it. Why would I have? I just wanted to die.
Small white and black dots started appearing in front of me. They came out of nowhere. I was starting to pass out, I knew the feeling. Finally. Sweet death, here I come, I thought. The white and black dots rapidly changed into pure black. I desperately gasped for breath. I’ve been told it’s a natural reaction, who knows. Anyway, it wasn’t air that filled my lungs. It was water. I was finally, after all the pain, going away. So long and fuck you all.

That’s the last thing I can remember. Next thing I knew, I had somehow gotten into the hospital. I couldn’t open my eyes, I couldn’t move myself, I couldn’t talk; I could only hear other people talking. I still can’t comprehend why I just didn’t drown. Seriously, how hard can it be? I had already had my lungs full of water, somebody just fucking had to come and take me away from the end.

Beep. Beep. Be-beep.

I seriously, like really seriously, should’ve asked someone who knew what the fastest way to drown is. Maybe that way whoever “saved” me wouldn’t have come in time. Maybe I’d be dead. Maybe I’d be finally in peace.

Beep. Beep. Be-beep.

“Oh, Mr. Way. I thought I’d find you here – “

That was one of the doctors who always kept Mikey updated on my condition. Not that there was ever any change –

“There’s been a change in your friend’s condition”

I was saying?

“Yes?”

It was obvious that Mikey was as curious to find out what as I was.

“He appears to have gone out of the coma caused by the internal damage – “

What the fuck? I was still in a coma, thank you very much.

“But it seems like he has gone into a self-composed one. I’m afraid he won’t be waking up before he wants to. If we’d know why he has done this to himself, we’d maybe be able to do more. Has he been under extreme stress lately? Could this be caused because of a person?”

Nice one, doctor. You got pretty close.

“I’m not sure. I think I’ll ask my brother, maybe he knows. I’m kind of surprised he hasn’t been here yet, he and Frank used to be best friends - ”

Yes. Used to be. Not anymore. And besides, it’s not that weird he hasn’t yet seen me. I doubt he wants to. After all, it’s his fault. All his fault.

"“ – but I doubt I’ll be able to talk with him, not with the condition he’s in right now”

What. The. Fuck?