Emotionless

Sand seeped between my toes as I walked across the beach, idling along as I followed after the two collies my aunt owned. They were barking and yapping to one another, chasing after pieces of driftwood I would throw down the beach for them. The note was stuffed into my pocket and burning my skin through the material of my hoody as it shuffled with my walking. At last I reached the little set of rocks away from where the tourists normally hang out and managed to scramble up onto the highest peak, perching on the rock and watching the waves tumble upon each other repeatedly. Tugging the note from my pocket, I ran my fingers over the letters once more.

‘I see you got my note?’ I whipped my head around and saw those astonishing green orbs watching me from below, a smirk on his plump lips as he crossed his arms over his chest. Stuffing the note back into my pocket, I looked straight ahead once more and kept my eyes fixed on Lucy and Jack who were splashing around in the waves. ‘You know, the more distant you become, the more I start to realise how much I like you. It hurt to see you with someone else last night,’ Zacky said as he climbed up to sit next to me on the rocks. I shifted away, totally ignoring him and his stupid words.

‘Why don’t you go run back to your stupid new girlfriend and your secret daughter and just leave me alone? And if you want to know what it feels like to hurt, try having your father leaving you and then have some stupid-ass egotistical rock star breaking your-’ Zacky shut me up by slamming his lips down on mine, cupping my cheek within his soft hand to hold me to him. When I finally managed to pull away, my lips felt as if someone was pricking me with a thousand hot needles and my body was hot and cold all at the same time. Sucking my lips in, I looked down at the sand again with the hottest blush ever spreading over my cheeks.

Silence echoed between us for a long moment. ‘Don’t make things complicated for the hell of it. The band and I are going on tour in three days and I don’t want to leave you on a bad note. Just… promise me we can work things out when I get back, after we’ve had time to settle everything.’ Zacky’s fingers ran slowly through my hair, my stomach tensing and lurching with each new stroke. My heart felt as if it were going to jump from my ribs and out onto a silver platter, ready to be stabbed repeatedly whilst still having the nerves attached to me for the whole purpose of giving me even more agony.

‘I can’t make promises I can’t keep. Elena and Holly need you. I don’t need you, I just want you. Two completely different things. I’m sorry.’ Sighing to myself, I kissed his cheek softly before jumping down from the cluster of stones and walking along the edge of the ocean as I followed after the two border collies that were mere flashes of black and white against the rich gold and beiges. Running a hand through my hair, I breathed in the ocean air and looked back briefly to see Zacky just staring out at the water with a blank expression on his face. I am such an ice cold bitch.



Ice cream froze my throat as it slithered down towards my bulging stomach, Sleepy Hollow playing loudly on the huge TV screen in front of me. Jason had already left for work by the time I’d gotten back in from walking the dogs, a letter was left on the kitchen counter by him telling me that he was going to talk to his boss about me working for him. I didn’t really know where to put myself. I have to pretend like nothing happened yet I want to pour my heart out into the litre tub of cookie dough ice cream and scream and shout and… punch Zacky in the face for complicating my life up.

My phone began to sing on the coffee table, Pippa’s name flashing on the screen repeatedly but I didn’t want to talk. I pressed the red button and leaned back into the sofa, spooning another mouthful between my lips and allowing my head to lull back onto the sofa. The house fell silent for a long moment before my phone sang one more time, this time though, my Uncle’s number taunted me from the screen. Debating for a second, I looked down at the phone before picking it up and pressing it to my ear as I greeted Jason in the smoothest voice I could manage around the choking sobs that tried to stammer my breath.

‘Keeley, you will never guess what has just happened!’ Jason exclaimed with excitement, a smile tugging at the edges of my lips as I paused the film and asked him what had gotten him so worked up. ‘My boss doesn’t have anything going for you here. But, his brother in New York is a publisher and he wants you to go and meet him. They want you to write a book!’ My voice just fell from my throat, escaping into the air as I tried to process the words that had just seeped into my brain. ‘Isn’t that exciting? From one trial column to writing a book! You’re going up in the world, Doll.’

‘Oh my god, that’s amazing. When do I leave?’ I asked all in a rush, standing from the sofa and jumping around like a maniac. Jason fell quiet for a moment before telling me that my flight left in three days and that he had an apartment ready and waiting for me. ‘Wow. I don’t really know what to say. I mean, three days, that’s not very long.’ Jason mumbled a reply, obviously thinking for a moment before telling me it was a great opportunity and that I should grasp it with both hands and never let go. Sighing, I told him I’d start packing tomorrow morning as we said our goodbyes and I hung up. Wow.

A glow of accomplishment aerated around me like a halo as I grabbed the keys to one of Layla’s cars, running to the driveway immediately in order to go tell Pippa and Molly. They would not believe it. But, as I reached the car, my good mood plummeted to the ground as I realised what I was doing. This was it. No more little sister who always does the wrong thing. Quickly, I scrambled back into the house and grabbed my phone before dialling my brothers’ numbers so that we had a two way call going on. As soon as they picked up, I took a deep breath and set the phone on the coffee table.

‘I’ve got some news for you.’