And Now He's Gone...

‘I love you…’ he had once typed.

He had loved me… I rejected him. I just couldn’t hold him back anymore. He was supposed to be with someone who lived closer to him. He was supposed to have someone better then me. Then one day I realized that deep down, I didn’t want him to find someone else.

When I came to that realization, I was too late. He had already gotten his hands on someone. Someone he would be hard to tear him away from, but I would still try.

Countless sobs, 2 hours, and a few snot filled Kleenexes later I realized he wasn’t going to give this new girl up. I begged and still he didn’t give in. I was supposed to be the girl a guy would take back with a seconds notice, I had always been that girl. And after that measly 2 hours that changed. I was the beggar. He was the chooser.

He didn’t choose me.

He chose her.

Over me.

It has taken about 4 months for me to get over him a little… It will probably take me 1-2 years to fully get over him maybe longer. The love of my life is gone. The tables had turned. Just a few months earlier he was begging me to take him back. I had refused, determined to convince him that I was not “the one” for him. When deep down I knew all along he was “my one”.

Now I felt hurt, broken, shattered. And I still do to this day. Every waking moment I have, he haunts my thoughts. Refusing to get out of my mind it seems as though he is controlling me. I would do anything to get him back. Anything at all. I would lovingly take a bullet for Christ’s’ sake! I’m obsessed with this boy who roams my mind every second of the day, and I cannot do anything about it.

I want him back, but can’t have him.