Forbidden

I threw the test against the wall and slammed the bathroom door shut. Black tears strolled down my cheeks as I paced around my room, circling my room twice in the process. A million thoughts where going through my mind when I finally sat down on the bed and rested my head in my hands. "Alyssa we're home!" My mom and dad yelled from downstairs, I could hear the faint cry from my younger siblings. I quickly ran over to my mirror and grabbed my makeup remover and tried to remove the black tear stains from my cheeks. A knock on my door pulled me from my thoughts as I cleared my throat and mumbled a soft 'come in'. My mom walked in a with a big black trash bag behind her and a smile stretched across her face, I faked one back.

"I'm just getting trash from each bathroom." My mom said, as she began to walk over to my bathroom.

"That's fine with me at least I don't have to do it anymore." I joked as I focused on taking off my makeup. It wasn't until I felt my stomach growl that it clicked in my head that I had ten positive pregnancy tests scattered around my bathroom floor. I ran over to my bathroom door and stood in front of it.

"Alyssa what are you doing?" She asked, trying to push me out of the way. I stood my ground and just smiled at my mother who was trying her hardest to get around me and into my bathroom. She placed her hand on her hip and stared at me like I was crazy.

"You know what Mom I'll just do it later. I'm pretty sure you have other things you need to focus on than taking out my trash. I have been seventeen for over a month now so I think I need to start doing things for myself more often." I rambled. She smiled as she pulled me into a hug and thanked me for making her job easier, especially now with the twins. I begged myself not to cry when she called me her angel, and I prayed that she would feel the same way since I when I broke the news to her.

"Well I'm going to go finish doing all this and then I'm going to put the twins down for their nap." She said, walking towards my door. I walked back to my desk and continued to take off the rest of makeup. I threw the make up covered towel in my trash can and rested my head on the edge of the desk, as so many thoughts ran through my mind and tears began to form in the corner of my eyes.

In the back of my mind I knew I would have to tell Frank and I would have to tell him tonight. Tonight was the only night where we wouldn't have to sneak around and worry about Justine coming home, or Trevor walking in and seeing something he shouldn't have seen. We had always been careful and always used protection, I just don't understand how this could happen to us. I felt my body shake as I let out a soft whimper as the tears flooded down my face, my brown hair instantly sticking to my wet skin. After I told Frank about this pregnancy would there even be an 'us' anymore? He already had his perfect wife and a perfect child to go with his oh so perfect life, and as for me well I was the mistress, the babysitter who fell head over heels for her employer and now I'm pregnant with his child. My whole life always felt like some cheesy cliche movie, but now my child is going to be brought into this world like some cliche Hollywood move plot? My heart ached for this unborn child.

My tears fell faster as I thought about everything I gave up to be with Frank. I didn't spend anytime with my counselor looking at colleges this year because this year Frank and I got more serious. I blew off classes to be with him, I surrendered my beloved Captain position on the cheer squad so I could have free afternoons to spend with him. I couldn't pretend that I never thought about having a baby with Frank, but I never thought I would be seventeen and his mistress while having his kid. I grabbed my phone from my cheer bag and went through my contacts till I reached his name, and began to text him

"Call me when you get this. We need to talk tonight, its important!" I hesitated over the send button for minuets that felt like hours because once I sent it there was no going back from this. I pressed the sent button and waited for my phone to ring with his name popping up on my caller id

It didn't take long till my ringtone sounded throughout my room and his picture and number popped up on my screen. "Hello." I answered, trying to cover up the fact that I was crying just mer seconds ago.

"I got your text. What's going on?" He asked, his voice laced with concern.

"I just need to talk with you Frankie. It is really important, and it can't wait any longer. The sooner we can talk the better." I said. I was trying to keep this conversation short and sweet. I couldn't wait any longer till to spill the beans to him, I couldn't wait to see his face light up with excitement when he finds out that I'm carrying his second child.

"Mr. Christopherson your five O' clock is here." I heard his assistant say. He cleared his throat and mumbled something that sounded like send him in. "Alyssa I'll pick you up after I finish clearing things up with this man. I love you baby." He said.

My heart fluttered and the little butterflies in my stomach came to life. "I love you too Frankie."

===*===

I hugged my parents goodbye and told them I'd see them later. My cover story for the night that I was going to babysit Trevor, like I did every Friday night, and then I was heading over to Anna's house to practice for State championships. I ran outside and got into Frank's Phantom and looked behind me and saw his son's car seat, I slightly rubbed my hand over my stomach as a small smile appeared on my face. Frank peeled out of the driveway and sped down the street, turning corners sharply and nearly hitting parked cars. I couldn't commit to my feelings anymore, I couldn't decide whether I was happy or sad. I couldn't decipher if I was feeling nervous about telling him, or if I was ecstatic that I was telling him. My emotions where on a roller coaster and I didn't know how the ride would end.

What should have taken us an hour to do Frank got us to his house in a record thirty minuets. He broke every sped limit that was posted and nearly crashed his car twice. I didn't know what had gotten into him, but I just hoped it wouldn't affect how he took the news of my pregnancy. As he parked the car in his driveway and turned the engine off, he looked over at me and laced our fingers together. He leaned over his seat and gave me a quick kiss on the cheek before unbuckling his seatbelt and stepping out his car. I mimicked his actions and breathed in the scent of the beach air, the smell sending chills down my spine as I thought about how we celebrated my seventeenth birthday.

I leaned back into him as I felt his hands wrap around my waist and slowly run underneath my shirt. "I've been thinking about you all day Alyssa." He whispered so softly as he left a trail of kisses from my ear to the base of my neck. I let a soft moan escape my lips but brought my mind back to the real reason I called Frank.

When I felt his hands run over my stomach where our baby was laying, tears formed in my eyes as my breath hitched in my throat. I pulled myself out of his warm and comforting hold as the tears threatened to fall. "Hun what's wrong?" He asked, trying to pull me back in a hug.

"We should really go inside Frank. I need to speak with you the minuet all of your housekeepers leave the house." I said. I walked away from him and got closer to the house. I walked into the huge house and ran up the stairs to the bathroom to fix my makeup, as I walked down the hall I noticed the door to the nursery was open. Three huge windows let in the sunlight while giving you a straight view of the beach. I took a seat in the rocker that was next to the last window with a view so beautiful it took your breath away. You could see the waves crashing against the rocks and watch as the waves receded back and repeat this same action over and over again.

I pushed the window open and let the warm breeze engulf my body and the room. The sound of seagulls filled the room and so did the sound of children screaming and yelling as they played in the ocean with their parents. "When Justine found out she was pregnant with Trevor she knew right away this would be the nursery room." I jumped out of the chair and put my hand over my mouth to hold back a loud shriek. I looked over my shoulder and saw Frank leaning against the door frame, with a huge smile plastered to his face. "I haven't seen this room since we took Trevor out of here. We normally keep this door closed and locked, I wonder what it was doing open?" He was obviously talking to himself, but I heard every word. The way he spoke about his family and the love that was so evident in his voice, it crushed my heart when he traced a picture frame of Justine holding Trevor while his smile grew bigger with every second that passed.

"Are all of the housekeepers gone?" I asked.

"Yeah. I let them go home early so we could talk." He said walking over to me.

"We should probably go talk about this somewhere else." I said, standing up and walking over to the door. I walked out of the room and walked down stairs to his family room. It was the cleanest I've ever seen it, well that's because Trevor's usually here to demolish and destroy all the hard work the house keepers did. I walked over to the windows and stared out into his driveway, looking out to see his garden and freshly trimmed grass. All kinds of flowers covered the small garden that was oddly placed in the middle of the yard.

"What's going on in that mind of yours baby?" He asked, sitting down on the couch.

I blinked back some of tears and closed my eyes so shut, bright colors started to form in the blackness. I let out a loud sigh and took in a deep breath. "I'm pregnant Frankie."

I heard his breath hitch in his throat as he coughed violently on his coke and gin. "Your what?" He finally asked.

"I'm pregnant!" I screamed, my voice bounced off the empty walls and filled the lonesome house. I pushed my hair out of my face and leaned against the wall for support.

"How can you be pregnant? We used protection every time and the condoms never broke, I just don't understand Alyssa. Are you sure it wasn't a false positive?" He asked as he began to pace back and forth.

"Took ten pregnancy tests all of them said the same thing."

"I can't be the father of this baby. Are you sure its mine?"

I stared at him in shock as my body shook when a soft whimper escaped my mouth. I could feel my heart drop into my stomach as he stared back at me waiting for an answer. "You dick! I lost my virginity to you at fifteen and you are the only person I've been with, I've never even looked at another guy the way I look at you. No one could ever match up to you in my eyes and you have the nerve to ask me if I'm sure its yours." I yelled.

"I didn't mean it like that Alyssa and you know it. I'm just in shock." He sat back down on the couch and took in a deep breath and let out a small sigh, as he run his hands through his hair. "This isn't going to be easy and this will be the hardest decision I've ever had to make but I have to do this." He whispered so softly that I barely heard him.

For a brief moment I thought everything he told me about leaving his wife to be with me was true, I thought this would be the moment we would talk about for ever and tell our child about. "You have to leave and never come back here. I'll give you just enough money for all the expenses for the kid, and after that I don't want anything to do with it. I have a wife and a son whom I love very much and I just can't leave them because you're pregnant. I could go to jail for this so I would appreciate it if you didn't tell anyone that I was Father. I'll drive you home and at that point everything you and I ever had will be over." He said.

"Frank I'm not some client. I'm not some business deal gone wrong, I'm going to be the mother of your child!" I screamed.

"You don't understand Alyssa. I'm a thirty year old married man with a son and another child on the way. I couldn't be there for my wife in her time of need while I'm constantly worrying about your doing."

My legs wobbled underneath me as I realized that Justine was pregnant again. I wasn't going to win him over anymore, but I had to fight for him I had to fight for our child. "In her time of need Frankie? She's twenty-nine and has her rich father and all of her friends to fall back on, where as I have no one but you and my family. Please Frankie, please don't do this to us or to your child." I cried.

"Alyssa, baby, this isn't easy on me either. You think I wanted things to go this way with us? I love you Alyssa but this isn't going to work out, this isn't going to be the picture perfect family you thought you would have. I can't leave Justine just because your pregnant, you don't know how hard this is for me. But you have to leave now and don't come back. I'll call you when I'm ready to drop off the money so you can care for this baby and yourself. So please don't try to contact me anymore that will only make it harder for you." He said, as he began to push me out of his house.

This wasn't the start of a new chapter, this was the start of a whole new book.