The Shortest Stories Ever

Away from Candy Corn----

Once upon a really boring town lived really BORING people. These really boring people hated being boring. But since they were so boring, they could not have emotions. So they didn't hate being boring, they ______ being boring. So the line stays empty because they were so boring.

Not far from this boring place of boring people with boring emotions that they didn't have, was Candy Corn! Candy Corn was on his merry way to the boring funeral.
For his mom.
Which died last story.
Which was your relative.

Why are you happy about that...?

anyway,

Candy Corn was out right by the boring town with boring people with boring emotions they
didn't have. When he passed by, people were dying. All of them were either starving or....well
they were all starving. Why? Candy Corn found out that these boring people who lived in a
boring town were SO boring they couldn't eat. Eating was too unique. So all of them were
starving.

So Candy Corn thought to help these poor people, he thought of this magical potion he
heard of that you could drink on drop and you would never have to eat again. That way these
really boring people could stay boring all they want. Really, Candy Corn could just keep
walking to the funeral but SOMEHOW that would take longer and he did not want to be late
for the funeral. Time seemed to be a bit different here....

SO, Candy Corn quickly ran to the highest hill in all of these lands that had no name because no one knows where these lands are anway, and reached to the top! When he got up there, he took a picture. He wanted to see the sights first. And he continued to his magical, epic, boring, probably stupid, adventure.

Candy Corn arrived at an EVIL forest. Something didn't fell right. and suddenly!
Vampire Beavers ambushed Candy Corn. Candy Corn quickly transformed into his dragon
ball Z form, with extra SHADING!!! He stuck out his Light Saber!! Even though these two
things were not in the same show, they might as well be he thought.

The Vampire Beavers attacked!!! But they all exploded. Before they attacked Candy Corn
actually put bombs on their tails without them knowing. He only put out his light saber just in
case they came back to life and they might actually be zombie vampire beavers. You can't tell
the difference you know?

Candy Corn continued to walk through the forest. Then he got tired and fell asleep. When
Candy Corn awoke, something horrible happened!

Nah, just kidding.

Candy Corn continued on his way and arrived out of the forest. He made it to the potion!! He
figured there' would be more enemies. And then he thought! Just like in the video games!!!
When you're so close to the prize, an EVIL last boss will appear out of NO WHERE.
Candy Corn prepared himself for any giant spiders from Zelda or Giant Boars named
Ganondorf, Or maybe Sephiroth!!

Yes, there WAS a LAST BOSS. IT WAS THE ALMIGHTY MOUSE!! The one who Beat Up TOM!!
The one who's steal everyone's cheese and NOT eat it!! The One who Ruled Over Disney
Land who in which Everyone worshiped!! The ONE WHO--!!!

*pop*

Candy Corn stepped on him. And the mouse popped under his foot. Candy Corn didn't see
him. But its all good Because Candy Corn Retrieved the Potion!!! Candy Corn imitated the
Zelda tune when you get an item! It was an EPIC journey of fighting vampire Beavers and
sleeping in the woods!!! He was greater than Final Fantasy Series that NEVER lived up to it's
NAME!!!

Candy Corn arrived back to the boring town filled with boring people who had boring
emotions that they didn't have. They were all hungry!! So Hungry!! The birth of
CANNIBALISM!!! Then Candy Corn walked up to them holding the potion. They all Saw his
Horn made out of Hard Candy!!!!

They all ate his HORN!!! And since they were SO boring they couldn't take the Yummy Candy
GOODNESS!!! And they all exploded. And they revived. AS VAMPIRE ZOMBIE BEAVERS!!!!
Who did not attack Candy Corn. Because they all went to Vegetarian. And all the boring
people in the boring town who had boring emotions that they didn't have but are now
vampire zombie beavers that are now vegetarians ALL LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER.

Boringly.

And so Candy Corn lost his Horn. Which grew back a week later. Candy Corn was a couple
hours late for the funeral, which was the WHOLE funeral. But that's okay because Candy
Corn went home to his video games.

You weren't at the funeral for your relative, which was Candy Corn's mother. So you got a
letter From Heaven from the large woman.

------------------------------------
Dear Child I Used To Love,

I Hate You.

Love, Your Dead Relative

P.S. I am not Fat!!
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----T H E E N D----