The Shortest Stories Ever
Scarting Ugly Cat
-----In the Middle of the Forest about two miles from Candy Corn's house----
Candy Corn has set on his way to find out where the heck he lived in the first place. Okay. So how was he gonna find out? Well, he certainly wasn't gonna be Louis and Clark about it and map the whole place and name it something that sounds like a made up foreign name.
Candy Corn had actually used 8% of his brain and decided he should go find a near by town. Or some kind of civilization. If there was any. Which there should be because where did his own mum come from? Candy Corn was pretty sure fat ladys who happen to be pregnant with a unicorn didn't randomly appear out of nowhere. Well, then again. This isn't earth is it? I mean, how ELSE would he get a jedi sword?
Candy Corn walked a long way. He soon found a Canyon like area not too long. The stone that the canyon was formed out of happened to the colour twenty-five........what?
Yes.
"Colour twenty-five".
Earthscolors exsisted here too. But they weren't called things like "purple", "blue", and "golden-rod". Especially the ones named after stupid random things that don't even LOOK like the color it claims to be.
Candy Corn saw a small river at the bottom of the Canyon. The canyon wasn't that deep anyway, so he climbed down there. He wanted to have a drink. Monster drinks weren't helping. Mostly because he drank them all. Candy Corn went up to the river and put his snout towards the water. Looking in the water he sees a reflection. It wasn't his.
Candy Corn nearly jumped out of his fur....er....hide....uh....Mane. Or whatever it is that unicorn horses have. He cleverly put his ninja starts in a easy to reach place in his pack. So he grabs two ninja stars with his tail and flails them in the direction of his supposed enemy.
Which is what I do a lot.
You know when your alone and someone scares the bloody life out you, and you throw the nearest heavy thing you can find and throw it with the speed of a dog, chasing a mouse, chasing cheese, being shot out of a cannon.
Whatever it was. It was sliced ham now. Or sliced Turkey. Whichever you prefer. Candy Corn looked at the neatly sliced mess. It was the size of a mouse. The mouse's fur had been the colour "sixty-seven". Which was a rare type.
"ACH. YA KEELED MAH PET JA EEDIOT!!!" Someone scarted.
Let me try to explain what "scarted" means. Its such and ugly sound made by someone or something trying to speak english and horribly fails at. It SUCH an ugly sound. Its not supposed to have a word of its own. But some daring idiot gave this sound the name of "scart". Which then he basically "divided by zero". And rumours say either a black hole appeared and sucked him up, or he decided to start paying his bills. Black hole seems more likely.
What yelled at Candy Corn was a cat. Which was the Ugliest cat you'd ever see. I mean, when you look at this thing, the first thing you see is a rabbit blended with a Rat put in a blender mixed with radiation and then soaked in cranberry juice. But that's a minor explanation.
This ugly cat-rat-rabbit thing had both ugly appearences and an ugly voice. There fore was named the obvious.
"Prince". That's his name.
"JA EEDIOT!!" Scarted Prince, "I NEEDED DAT BLOODY MOUZ!!"
Candy Corn was about to speak his explanation.
But then Prince sees the journal on the ground with the rest of his stuff. He read it a bit and noticed that he was trying to figure out where he lived. Princed chuckled a bit about that. He then developed a smirk, that enclosed yellow orange jaggy rocks that somehow got in his mouth.
Oh wait, those are his teeth.
"Ja tryin' ta find out where ya leev in? HA!" scoffed Prince. "Well?"
Candy Corn opened his mouth to answer.
"I Know yar doin' that. Tell ya wot....How bout I tell ya where yer livin' in and ya geev me a hand with my troubles, Eh?" Prince proposed.
Candy Corn opened his mouth once again, this time quicker.
"COURZ YA WEEL!! HA!! .....urg. Anwayz. I'll tell ya where we are!" Continued Prince.
"TECHNO CHINA OF THE FUTURE!!!" Scarted Prince.
Okay, Prince had no idea what a "China" was. He just meerly slipped his tongue while scarting and out came a foreign word. "Techno" doesn't mean the same as it does on earth. In HERE it means 'Fortunate--Experienced--Disorderly---and even--- Drunk".
Why he said "of the future" is beyond me though.
----To Be Continued----
Candy Corn has set on his way to find out where the heck he lived in the first place. Okay. So how was he gonna find out? Well, he certainly wasn't gonna be Louis and Clark about it and map the whole place and name it something that sounds like a made up foreign name.
Candy Corn had actually used 8% of his brain and decided he should go find a near by town. Or some kind of civilization. If there was any. Which there should be because where did his own mum come from? Candy Corn was pretty sure fat ladys who happen to be pregnant with a unicorn didn't randomly appear out of nowhere. Well, then again. This isn't earth is it? I mean, how ELSE would he get a jedi sword?
Candy Corn walked a long way. He soon found a Canyon like area not too long. The stone that the canyon was formed out of happened to the colour twenty-five........what?
Yes.
"Colour twenty-five".
Earthscolors exsisted here too. But they weren't called things like "purple", "blue", and "golden-rod". Especially the ones named after stupid random things that don't even LOOK like the color it claims to be.
Candy Corn saw a small river at the bottom of the Canyon. The canyon wasn't that deep anyway, so he climbed down there. He wanted to have a drink. Monster drinks weren't helping. Mostly because he drank them all. Candy Corn went up to the river and put his snout towards the water. Looking in the water he sees a reflection. It wasn't his.
Candy Corn nearly jumped out of his fur....er....hide....uh....Mane. Or whatever it is that unicorn horses have. He cleverly put his ninja starts in a easy to reach place in his pack. So he grabs two ninja stars with his tail and flails them in the direction of his supposed enemy.
Which is what I do a lot.
You know when your alone and someone scares the bloody life out you, and you throw the nearest heavy thing you can find and throw it with the speed of a dog, chasing a mouse, chasing cheese, being shot out of a cannon.
Whatever it was. It was sliced ham now. Or sliced Turkey. Whichever you prefer. Candy Corn looked at the neatly sliced mess. It was the size of a mouse. The mouse's fur had been the colour "sixty-seven". Which was a rare type.
"ACH. YA KEELED MAH PET JA EEDIOT!!!" Someone scarted.
Let me try to explain what "scarted" means. Its such and ugly sound made by someone or something trying to speak english and horribly fails at. It SUCH an ugly sound. Its not supposed to have a word of its own. But some daring idiot gave this sound the name of "scart". Which then he basically "divided by zero". And rumours say either a black hole appeared and sucked him up, or he decided to start paying his bills. Black hole seems more likely.
What yelled at Candy Corn was a cat. Which was the Ugliest cat you'd ever see. I mean, when you look at this thing, the first thing you see is a rabbit blended with a Rat put in a blender mixed with radiation and then soaked in cranberry juice. But that's a minor explanation.
This ugly cat-rat-rabbit thing had both ugly appearences and an ugly voice. There fore was named the obvious.
"Prince". That's his name.
"JA EEDIOT!!" Scarted Prince, "I NEEDED DAT BLOODY MOUZ!!"
Candy Corn was about to speak his explanation.
But then Prince sees the journal on the ground with the rest of his stuff. He read it a bit and noticed that he was trying to figure out where he lived. Princed chuckled a bit about that. He then developed a smirk, that enclosed yellow orange jaggy rocks that somehow got in his mouth.
Oh wait, those are his teeth.
"Ja tryin' ta find out where ya leev in? HA!" scoffed Prince. "Well?"
Candy Corn opened his mouth to answer.
"I Know yar doin' that. Tell ya wot....How bout I tell ya where yer livin' in and ya geev me a hand with my troubles, Eh?" Prince proposed.
Candy Corn opened his mouth once again, this time quicker.
"COURZ YA WEEL!! HA!! .....urg. Anwayz. I'll tell ya where we are!" Continued Prince.
"TECHNO CHINA OF THE FUTURE!!!" Scarted Prince.
Okay, Prince had no idea what a "China" was. He just meerly slipped his tongue while scarting and out came a foreign word. "Techno" doesn't mean the same as it does on earth. In HERE it means 'Fortunate--Experienced--Disorderly---and even--- Drunk".
Why he said "of the future" is beyond me though.
----To Be Continued----
♠ ♠ ♠
Dance Hard Techno.