Never Regret

[Michael Guy Chislett]

As I stirred from unconsciousness, a slow smile spread across my lips. I can’t believe Mackenzie and I made love last night! I’ve waited so long to be with her on such an intimate level. I’ve waited so long to be that person to get past all those barriers she’s held in place for so long. I’ve been so worried about our relationship lately. We’ve barely talked, and although we’ve been in each other’s arms and kissed and stuff, we haven’t been together in any physical way truly. But last night changed it all. Last night was perfect. I rolled over to face my girlfriend, but my smile faded to a frown when I saw she wasn’t lying next to me. I don’t understand. I know last night was real. I can smell her on my sheets, for fuck’s sake! I poked my head out of my bunk to look for her clothing, but the only clothing on the floor was mine, save the pair of purple tights Mackenzie wore last night.

“Fuck!” I yelled, grabbing my boxers.

Pulling them on quickly, I got out of my bunk and headed for the kitchen, just in case she was making herself a mocha. She wasn’t. I sat down on the sofa, resting my head in my hands as everything seemed to crash down around me. Why isn’t she here? Why did she leave? I don’t understand. I thought everything was so perfect last night. Hell, the way Mackenzie screamed my name kind of proved last night was perfect. So why did she leave? Does she really care that little? Could she really not face me after?

What have I done wrong?

*

[Mackenzie]

I quickly punched in the code for my bus, desperate to be out of the cold. I just couldn’t stay next to Michael. Last night...connected us more than I could believe possible, and it scared me. I shouldn’t feel as strongly for someone as I do for Michael. It can’t be right. It can’t be healthy. I couldn’t face him waking up after our night of passion thinking that everything is alright between us. Because it isn’t.

“So you finally return!” Logan cheered, grinning from his bunk.

I blushed and shut the bus door behind me, but stayed silent.

“What did you and Chizzy get up to last night then, eh?” JC teased, swinging his legs out to stand up.

My silence this time made them cat call and whistle.

“Guys, please stop,” I whispered.

They did, frowning as well. I swallowed heavily as anger flooded JC’s face, not understanding his emotion change.

“You didn’t even wait for him to wake up, did you?” he accused.

My throat dried up as I struggled to think of something to say. Why does he care so much anyway?

“God damn it, Mack! You can’t just do that to a guy! You can’t do that to Chizzy!” JC said furiously.

“Woah, you left him asleep?” Logan frowned, getting out of his bunk as well.

“You don’t understand,” I defended.

“No, we don’t. You won’t talk to us and you won’t talk to Chizzy, so what the hell are we meant to do, Mack? Chizzy loves you – you can’t fuck him and disappear!” JC snapped.

“Stay out of it,” I growled.

“No. I’ve stayed out of it long enough. Chizzy would give the world to make you happy and you don’t give a damn about his feelings. You strut around playing the woe is me card when in reality you know exactly what you’re doing. I’ve tried to help you, I’ve tried so hard to protect you, but you’re doing this to yourself. You don’t deserve Chizzy’s love,” JC sneered.

“JC,” Logan winced.

Tears welled up in my eyes at JC’s words. This isn’t fair! He’s meant to be my best friend! JC shook his head at me, pulling a t-shirt on.

“You know what Mack? I can’t be around you right now. I’m out of here,” JC spat.

My jaw dropped, as did Logan’s.

“W-Where are you going?” I choked.

JC smiled bitterly, shaking his head.

“TAI bus,” he muttered.

Tears rolled down my cheeks as JC grabbed his coat and left the bus. JC has never lost his temper with me before. Ever. And he’s rarely lost it with anyone else either. I didn’t expect him to get so worked up over something that didn’t concern him! I can’t believe he’s left the bus because of me though. I didn’t want to look at Logan, because I don’t know how he’ll treat me. JC is after all his best friend too.

“I’m going to check that he’s alright,” Logan said softly.

“Okay,” I sniffed.

Logan squeezed my shoulder before leaving the bus too. When the door was closed, sobs tore from my throat, so I stumbled over to my bunk and curled into a ball. I don’t know what this means for me. Me and Michael. Me and my friends. Me and the band. This could be the end.