Love and Death

“So where are we going?” I asked. We had crossed a lot of unfamiliar streets and I was starting to get confused.

“The sculpture garden.” She said as if I knew what that was. “When you were driving here did you notice and giant spoon with a giant cherry on it?”

“Nein?” A giant spoon? With a giant cherry? It was so dark when we were driving it was hard to see anything. Mum was so excited. She kept pointing out buildings and special places that Aunt Ashley had told her about over the phone. Gordon had a smile on his face the entire drive there. He told me on the plane that Ashley’s husband, Michael, also had an interest in music. They were both so excited and I was too, but I didn’t know why.

I had gotten a funny feeling in my stomach, just like I do before really big shows. I suddenly felt like my entire life was going to change based on what was to happen in the near future. Somehow I felt like I was finally going to meet her. As in the girl I had been searching for. I almost found her a few times, at several shows or in a store, but they would not compare to her.

And I knew that when I found her I would know. And I did. When I saw Audrey my heart stopped for a moment and then started up a riot in my chest. She looked like a burlesque princess at dinner that night and when she left I felt like following her. I waited several minutes until I excused myself also and then went downstairs to my room to change. I got most of the way down the hallway but stopped when I heard the piano. I ended up sitting on the stairs and listening to Audrey play until she fell asleep and I moved her to the couch and covered her up with blanket.

I feel such a strong desire to protect her, it is overwhelming. She is my princess and I must be her knight in shining armor. Audrey suddenly poked me in the side and said “Tag your it!” and started running for the stairs to a bridge that crossed the freeway. I looked down at my feet as I ran so I didn’t trip but looking down you don’t really see what’s in front of you.

I suddenly hit a person and I began to apologize when I realized that it was Audrey I had run into. Audrey stood gripping the railing and looking down into the traffic of midday. He knuckles were pure white from holding the railing so tightly. “Komm, Auddy. Das Essen ist kalt.” I grabbed her arm gently and guided her across the bridge. We reached the other side and began to descend the stairs when she finally came back to her body.

“Es tut mir leid, Bill.” She said softly. I shook my head.

“Nein. Es ist alles gut.” I looked around and saw the giant spoon and cherry she was talking about. The cherry stem was spraying water into a pond under the spoon. I still had Audrey's hand in mine and I can't really say how I feel about it. Audrey's long nails brushed the back of my hand and made me shiver.

"Bill." I turned to face her and she pointed towards a hedge maze type thing. I followed her into the maze and found an amazing space to sit and eat. It was a small semi clearing surrounded my twenty foot high hedges with only one way to get in or out. It was a fairly large space. In the true middle was grass and surrounding the grass were marble benches all the same shape, size, and color.

"Read the benches." Audrey said. She let go of my hand and walked up to one of the benches. "There is no reason to sleep curled up and bent. It's not comfortable. It's not good for you and it doesn't protect you from danger. If you’re worried about an attack you should stay awake or sleep lightly with limbs unfurled for action."

I burst out laughing. "What? That's so strange! Why would someone put that on a bench?" I went to a different bench and read it out loud. "By your response to danger it is easy to tell how you lived and what has been done to you. You show whether you want to stay alive, whether you think you deserve to and whether you believe it's any good to act."

Audrey didn't say anything and when I looked over at her she was looking at the sky. I continued reading benches. Some of the things they said were just weird. One said, "The smallest things can make somebody sexually unappealing. A misplaced mole or a particular hair pattern can do it. There’s no reason for this but it's just as well.” "There are places that are scarred and the skin is puled around like the navel or the head of the penis that leave you thinking that the body is fragile."

"Billa!" Audrey said. I turned around and saw her sitting in the middle of all the benches on a blanket with the food in her hands. I went over and sat down with her. "So what do you think? They’re very strange benches. When i first read them I was so confused but now I have one of them tattooed on my tummy."

"Which one?" If she said the one about the penis and fragile bodies I think I would have to run away.

She pulled up her shirt a little bit to reveal her tattoo. I was fifteen words written in a type of leafy scrawl. It said ‘Don’t let your victories go to your head, or your failures go to your heart.’ "That's really pretty, Auddy. Do you have any other tattoos?"

She nodded and pushed some bracelets away from her wrist. On her wrist were the words ‘En vivo para bailar’ and two dates. I pointed to the words. "What does that mean?"
She took in a deep breath and said slowly. "'Live to dance,' it was something my . . . Friend said a lot. And the top date is her birthday. The second one is the day is the day she was pronounced legally dead."

"Oh." I said slowly. Quin had mentioned this girl before. He said that she was Audrey's best friend and that she died in a car accident only a few miles away from Audrey's house.
"It's okay though." Audrey spoke swiftly. "I mean it's been nearly five years and I don't cry as much as I used to . . ." She rambled off about it until she just became silent.

"Just because you lose someone doesn't mean you have to forget them and pretend like it doesn't hurt every single day. Sometimes it's horrible and then other days it's better. Trust me, I know." I swiftly hugged her and then began to eat. After a minute or two Audrey started eating too and soon we were done and packing up to go and explore the rest of the sculpture garden.

We walked in silence. We were just looking at things. It was strange, normally silence is deafening or awkward but with Audrey the silence is somewhat comforting. I glanced over at Audrey and saw her looking up at the sky. I followed suit. “It’s going to rain.” I said. Sure enough the rain began to fall. Audrey sighed and looked at me.

“Were not that far away from home. It’s only a few minutes. We can run it.” I nodded and followed her. As we ran the rain got harder and by the time we got back we were both soaking wet. Ashley told us to stay in the doorway while she got us towels. Tom and Quin had come in a before the rain started and they laughed at Audrey and I. Once we got our towels Audrey and I went to go dry off and figure out what to do for the rest of the day.